Can you be too gentlemanly?

EternallySingle · 05-05-2004, 08:48 AM

Scenario 1: I have a profile with a picture of me asleep. Everything hanging out of my boxers for the world to see (my sister took the pic when I got my first digital cam...thanks). I put it on my profile and immediately get 20 emails, three from single women and eight from couples on how tasteful the picture is. I meet one couple, we laugh and talk for about three hours but their next email says they just want to be friends, but if they need a third, they'll cal.

Scenario 2: I write an almost obscene letter to one woman. I still have the boxer picture on my ad. The letter is replied to immediately and we go out for coffee. Turns out she's a coke addict and fortunately I spot it right away (can't help to when you see the pipe when she opens her purse) and end the date there.

Scenario 3: I write a nice letter to a woman with a nice clean profile. The boxer pic is on my ad. I get a reply two days later, which is when she is online next and reads the message. We meet, talk, tell dirty jokes, have sex, and go home. Cool.

Scenario 4: I write a similar letter to a woman with a similar profile. She's online when I write the letter. Its been three weeks. She's gone to my profile and viewed it, but she hasn't even read the letter. Oh, the boxer pic is off.

Scenario 5: I decide to put the boxer pic on my profile. The letter is read the next day and I get a reply.

What's the deal? Actually, I been told the answer by several people, couples and single women, but I want someone else, preferably a woman, to say it here so the other single guys will believe it(and maybe some others will admit to it)

I'm not trying to be confrontational, but there's a truth thats being missed even though its been hinted at in several posts both here in the singles forum and the General forum. Just something to think about.

MrsBliss · 05-05-2004, 01:56 PM

Which website are we talking about? A swinger site or another sex related site?

People come there looking for someone to have sex with? Then the answer is clear: you look damn hot in your boxer !

Kiss!

EternallySingle · 05-05-2004, 02:15 PM

It was a swinger site.

On a related note...how many bisexual men are there? I got 9 emails the first day and 20 after I said NO BI MEN. Ladies, couples, I feel for you there. LOL

yawanna · 05-05-2004, 02:41 PM

I like Scenario 3. I get to see a full body shot with all accoutrements AND you write intelligently and articulately and not dirty. I've seen your pic and like, you can carry on a non sexual conversation and are at least a 2 dimensional person.

You aren't just about getting laid. Which is why I would want to meet you

**TNT** · 05-05-2004, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by EternallySingle
I put it on my profile and immediately get 20 emails, three from single women and eight from couples on how tasteful the picture is.

A tasteful picture will always get more attention than just a dick pic. By having a nice pic on your profile you are showing people that you are a normal guy who actually has more on his mind than just sex.

I would much rather see a picture of a man that shows his face than just one of his dick...sorry, but when I look at profiles (ads), especially of single men, the ones that show ONLY a dick pic just says to me that he is one. A sexy nude pic is always a plus though.

So...did I get the answer right?

Teresa

OhioCouple · 05-05-2004, 10:47 PM

Hmmm, I would be thinking two things if the pic associated with your ad were the one you chose to represent yourself in the boxers, asleep. First would be. Is it possible to have sex with a snoozer? Second. Does this means he wants us to make sure we have bedding available for him, cause when he is done, he is done and he ain't going anywhere?

EternallySingle · 05-05-2004, 11:01 PM

LOL I'm not telling. But its something for you all to talk about. I'm going to bed because I am going to have coffee with someone after she sends her kids off to school in the morning.

I wonder if she means coffee or "coffee"? Either way I'm going to enjoy it. I like coffee.

EternallySingle · 05-06-2004, 02:54 PM

Everyone who answered (except OhioCouple

) were right. The fact that most of the emails I send are cordial, friendly, "Lets talk and get to know each other before we start talking about sex so I'll know if I want to meet YOU" messages, a lot of people, especially single females, thought I was just wasting time. By including the picture with Little ES showing, I guess I was saying I was interested in meeting for sex, but my letters and profile said that wasn't the most important thing on my mind.

So, except for OhioCouple thinking I was looking for a place to crash, everyone was right.

I had a great couple of cups of coffee this morning with my lady friend. I also had a long talk with her son about sex and responsibility so teasing you all sorta left my mind. Anywhoooo...thanks for your replies. Though I was kinda let down that so few people responded. Guess the Singles forum and topics ARE less interesting to most members, but thats understandable. Most here aren't single so those issues are not as important. Something else to think about for all of us.

yawanna · 05-06-2004, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Most here aren't single so those issues are not as important. Something else to think about for all of us.

I think this thread IS important. One poll taken showed that most couples here are interested in meeting with single men, IF they found a 'good one'. Also the numerous threads, that almost always contain a cantankerous component either pro or con about single men wanting to participate, again demonstrates a great deal of misunderstandings about this topic.

Also also, the number of threads started by single men saying 'hi! how do I meet y'all??'. And the newer thread about 'how do we become more accommodating of single men?'.

I, for one, encourage you to post more of your insight and wisdom on this issue. Have you given any more thought to 'the book'?

fun_pairTX · 05-06-2004, 03:35 PM

Swinging, with single males not withstanding and singles issues not withstanding, we read your posts because you write them ES. You are one of the most even and grounded individuals we have ever run into on the net.

EternallySingle · 05-06-2004, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by yawanna
I think this thread IS important. One poll taken showed that most couples here are interested in meeting with single men, IF they found a 'ggod one'. Also the numerous threads, that almost always contain a cantankerous component either pro or con about single men wanting to participate, again demonstrates a great deal of misunderstandings about this topic.

Also also, the number of threads started by single men saying 'hi! how do I meet y'all??'. And the newer thread about 'how do we become more accommodating of single men?'.

I, for one, encourage you to post more of your insight and wisdom on this issue. Have you given any more thought to 'the book'?

I intend to. There are more good single men than bad ones wanting to get into the lifestyle. The bad ones are just more active in looking because they have nothing else going on. That is the big problem for single men. Too many to choose from so few people wanting to meet them take the time to look. They sit back, get bombarded by the jerks, and wonder where the good ones are.

As far as the book goes, I really have other things that are more important in my life. At the time I thought about the book, I actually believed I was ready to start getting involved in the lifestyle, mainly because of this board. Now, I truly don't think it would be worth my time or money. I could travel three hours to a couple of swing clubs, but why? Between gas money, admission, and motel room costs, I could take a date to a four star restaurant and dancing or to the theatre. Granted that wouldn't insure sex, but I wouldn't do it for sex. I'd do it to have a good time. Not sure I'd have a good time somewhere I'm seen as an outsider until I've been there six or seven times. That makes it hard to get motivated to write about swinging. I've tried, but everything sounds negative and I don't want that.

NotsoNew · 05-06-2004, 11:28 PM

ES -

I agree with some of the other posts about tasteful pictures. Your's in the boxers asleep sounds very sexy and very real. Now I know everyone wants to look their best in ads, but is it how they are in real life everyday?

With yours, you are showing the real side you which I would appreciate and respond to.

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05-05-2004, 08:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
EternallySingle Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,035 Location: Michigan Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:ABSingleMan	Can you be too gentlemanly? Scenario 1: I have a profile with a picture of me asleep. Everything hanging out of my boxers for the world to see (my sister took the pic when I got my first digital cam...thanks). I put it on my profile and immediately get 20 emails, three from single women and eight from couples on how tasteful the picture is. I meet one couple, we laugh and talk for about three hours but their next email says they just want to be friends, but if they need a third, they'll cal. Scenario 2: I write an almost obscene letter to one woman. I still have the boxer picture on my ad. The letter is replied to immediately and we go out for coffee. Turns out she's a coke addict and fortunately I spot it right away (can't help to when you see the pipe when she opens her purse) and end the date there. Scenario 3: I write a nice letter to a woman with a nice clean profile. The boxer pic is on my ad. I get a reply two days later, which is when she is online next and reads the message. We meet, talk, tell dirty jokes, have sex, and go home. Cool. Scenario 4: I write a similar letter to a woman with a similar profile. She's online when I write the letter. Its been three weeks. She's gone to my profile and viewed it, but she hasn't even read the letter. Oh, the boxer pic is off. Scenario 5: I decide to put the boxer pic on my profile. The letter is read the next day and I get a reply. What's the deal? Actually, I been told the answer by several people, couples and single women, but I want someone else, preferably a woman, to say it here so the other single guys will believe it(and maybe some others will admit to it) I'm not trying to be confrontational, but there's a truth thats being missed even though its been hinted at in several posts both here in the singles forum and the General forum. Just something to think about.
	__________________ "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too." Prince Last edited by EternallySingle; 05-05-2004 at 01:46 PM.

05-06-2004, 02:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
EternallySingle Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,035 Location: Michigan Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:ABSingleMan	Ok, I'll tell Everyone who answered (except OhioCouple ) were right. The fact that most of the emails I send are cordial, friendly, "Lets talk and get to know each other before we start talking about sex so I'll know if I want to meet YOU" messages, a lot of people, especially single females, thought I was just wasting time. By including the picture with Little ES showing, I guess I was saying I was interested in meeting for sex, but my letters and profile said that wasn't the most important thing on my mind. So, except for OhioCouple thinking I was looking for a place to crash, everyone was right. I had a great couple of cups of coffee this morning with my lady friend. I also had a long talk with her son about sex and responsibility so teasing you all sorta left my mind. Anywhoooo...thanks for your replies. Though I was kinda let down that so few people responded. Guess the Singles forum and topics ARE less interesting to most members, but thats understandable. Most here aren't single so those issues are not as important. Something else to think about for all of us.
	__________________ "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too." Prince

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05-05-2004, 01:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
MrsBliss Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 130 Location: The Netherlands Status: Happy together	Which website are we talking about? A swinger site or another sex related site? People come there looking for someone to have sex with? Then the answer is clear: you look damn hot in your boxer ! Kiss!

05-05-2004, 02:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
EternallySingle Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,035 Location: Michigan Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:ABSingleMan	It was a swinger site. On a related note...how many bisexual men are there? I got 9 emails the first day and 20 after I said NO BI MEN. Ladies, couples, I feel for you there. LOL

05-05-2004, 02:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
yawanna Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,176 Location: Canada Status: married female	I like Scenario 3. I get to see a full body shot with all accoutrements AND you write intelligently and articulately and not dirty. I've seen your pic and like, you can carry on a non sexual conversation and are at least a 2 dimensional person. You aren't just about getting laid. Which is why I would want to meet you

05-05-2004, 10:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	Hmmm, I would be thinking two things if the pic associated with your ad were the one you chose to represent yourself in the boxers, asleep. First would be. Is it possible to have sex with a snoozer? Second. Does this means he wants us to make sure we have bedding available for him, cause when he is done, he is done and he ain't going anywhere?

05-05-2004, 11:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
EternallySingle Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,035 Location: Michigan Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:ABSingleMan	LOL I'm not telling. But its something for you all to talk about. I'm going to bed because I am going to have coffee with someone after she sends her kids off to school in the morning. I wonder if she means coffee or "coffee"? Either way I'm going to enjoy it. I like coffee.

05-06-2004, 03:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	Swinging, with single males not withstanding and singles issues not withstanding, we read your posts because you write them ES. You are one of the most even and grounded individuals we have ever run into on the net.

05-06-2004, 11:28 PM	#12 (permalink)
NotsoNew Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 392 Location: MD Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:newbies123	ES - I agree with some of the other posts about tasteful pictures. Your's in the boxers asleep sounds very sexy and very real. Now I know everyone wants to look their best in ads, but is it how they are in real life everyday? With yours, you are showing the real side you which I would appreciate and respond to.