What is the big deal with single men?

[fredandwilma200]

Here is a question that I have! Why are single men so outed in this lifestyle? I have seen alot of couples that say NO WAY to single men! I was just curious about this thanks!

[VegasLee]

Many couples are in the lifestyle for other couples only.

I do feel that many give single men a bad rap. We have always welcomed single men into our parties and events. We found that given the chance most of them are very respectful and the ladies in our group have a blast with them. Once in awhile we get a bad apple but we have found we get just as many bad apples when dealing with "couples only" events also.

We hold parties during the lifestyles conventions in different areas. Our parties are normally the only one that has a few selected single men invited to it. Hand chosen by ladies in our group. Funny thing is that we end up having the busiest party at the convention. Seems that many couples that normally go for "couples only" find their way to our parties. ;-)

You have to remember. There is no real "rules" in this lifestyle except be true and honest with your spouse. Honesty above all else. Some like to play with couples only, others with other females, some with other males.

The part I find negitive is that those that do not like certain things within the lifestyle will say how bad those parts are. Just because something is different does not make it bad, just makes it different. Not all parts of the lifestyle or clubs or parties are for everyone.

Not all are opposed to single males.

That is what most of our encounters are.

Different things turn people on. For me it is double teaming Mrs naughty with another guy. And she likes being double teamed. So it is a win win for us..


We have made quite a few single males in our area quite happy.

We do the couples thing to but not as often.

So we (couples looking for single males) are out there you just have to keep on looking.

[hmr]

I have found that many couples feel single males are not 'real swingers' because they are single. Therefore they are excluded.(shouldn't that also apply to single bifems?) Just wondering....

Others feel as we do. They want to be the ones to contact the singles. At one time we had so many responses to our ad, we could not read them all, much less answer them. Not all ads that post for singles to not contact them automatically rule them out!! Many women enjoy MFM and what better way than with a single male?


mrs hmr

[mokytag02]

We have met with many single men and have had a lot of fun with them. Some couples feel they have nothing to bring to the plate, we don't. One thing that bothers me(he) is the single guy who hits on my wife to meet alone when it is all spelled out in our profiles that we only meet as a couple or when we are in a chat room that it is okay for them to come on, and when they figure out it's her chatting, get as crude as possible and also think that everything including meeting, is automatic. We have a habit of wanting to get to know people before we meet them. This really pissies some guys off. The bad ones are few but they pretty much make it tough on the good ones. That's my take on it.

mok,

I agree completely.

A lot of single men start their conversation off with sex talk. That obviuosly is what we are looking for . But to have the first words out of their mouths to be "Do you want my cock in your ass" is not the way to get there. We exclude them as possibilities immediately. They have to be respectful and have to have a conversation that is not about sex first. If Mrs naughty gets comfortable enough to want to Fuck... I mean meet the person then some sex talk will come up. But that talk is mostly what she is not into. I also have to agree on the guy. If I get bad vibes then he is out. Even if mrs naughty thinks he is a canadate .

[mokytag02]

Mr & Mrs. Sounds like you have talked to some of the same guys we have. LOL We agree that both of us has to have a comfort level with anyone we meet or it doesn't happen. The Mrs. is new to all this and it took her a while to learn to blow off the guys who come on crude. She was afraid to piss anyone off. I told her the ball is in your court not theirs, they are coming into our house so to speak. They are joining our world.I also explain to them, before we meet face to face, that if they show my wife any disrespect the deal is off. I explain to them that I am sharing the most important person in my life with them and if they cannot show her the same respect that I do then they need to go away. Some of these guys don't realize that for every couple or single lady in this lifestyle there is about 200 single guys. We have one single guy who goes head hunting if another single guy is rude to my wife in chat. He realizes the problems a certain few can cause the rest fo the single guys.

[cek]

Perhaps it is best to give an example as to why.
I was in a chat room the other day and a guy (let's just call him steve) kept comming on and asking rude and suggestive things of a lady I was talking with (let's just call her jen).
Well steve never got it into his head that when "jen" said something and I responded, he did not need to jump right in.
She basicly told him to "bug off" but he did not grasp that.
We went to a private chat and when we came back, he was gone. We made the agreement that if he came back we would not recognize him as existing.
It is that type of a single male that does not consider that it is a unit (man AND woman) that he is talking to that makes it very bad for the rest of us guys.
Yes, I have seen single females also ignore the feelings of the wife involved, but somehow it just seems to be more inconsiderate when the guy does it.
I have met up with couples that I became friends with, and if other situations in life had not taken me to a part of the country where I could not realisticly see them often, it is safe to say we would have perhaps continued to this day our mutual meetings.
A note to any single guys reading this.
I do believe that if you are considerate of the feelings of the lady and the man in a couple situation at a party or other meeting, the word will get around.
A guy needs to be attractive, and that (I think) is more about how he talks with both of the couples, senses what they want and gives that, is honest, caring, sensative, etc. than what "equipment" or "body shape" he might posess. As was said here, he is entering into the life of a couple, and so he must operate on thier ground rules and seek thier pleasure way above his.
It is all about honesty and no one being pushed into doing something they do not want to !
Don't get upset guys, just go along with it and be the very best "third party" to anyone that askes you to play. But first you need to be the best "third person" in a conversation. Don't make a bad first impression, I have done that to often in life, and it is almost impossible for some folks to forget how you came off first!

[De and Ci]

Any advice on finding single males-other than the "personal ads" route?
We would like to find some single guys "desperate" for sex. I think my wife would enjoy it. But the clubs here don't allow singles. Are conventional nightclubs a good way to find them?

[leftcoastcouple]

Originally posted by hmr
I have found that many couples feel single males are not 'real swingers' because they are single. Therefore they are excluded.(shouldn't that also apply to single bifems?) Just wondering....

Others feel as we do. They want to be the ones to contact the singles. At one time we had so many responses to our ad, we could not read them all, much less answer them. Not all ads that post for singles to not contact them automatically rule them out!! Many women enjoy MFM and what better way than with a single male?


mrs hmr

Couldn't agree with you more, mrs. hmr. And why the resistance to ads, De and Ci?

We placed an ad, separate from our "couples" ad, stating plain and simple, we were going to be in town X on date Y and were looking for a single guy to play with--preference given to clean, down-to-earth and good-looking. We got so many respones that it was tough to reply to them all.

Probably 80% were real quality, if you were to trust the pics alone--guys my wife would have pointed out if were sitting in a bar and playing the "OK, who?" game. Probably 10% were just outstanding, and they were nice, seemingly responsible guys on follow-up, too. Were there jerks, including those who wouldn't take "no" for an answer? Sure. But that's why you screen carefully.

If based on Julie's poll about "Who do you swing/want to swing with" are running 25% single males, why the stigma? I don't get it. Are we just afraid to admit that single guys are OK? Is it latent homophobia, since there's no stigma to stating you're looking for a single woman? Or...what?

Makes no sense. You want a horny guy? Find a single guy. Simple. And with a little looking, the typical woman can have an above-average guy for the asking, based on numbers alone.

[gtj-fun]

I think whatever stigma may attach to single males in the lifestyle derives primarily from the large number that reply unsought to couples ads. The Mrs. and I have done MFM a number of times over the years, in part because it is so easy to hook up with a single male and she does enjoy the double teaming. It does get tiresome tho' sifting through large numbers of unsought single male ads and messages when our ad says "couples or sf", because that is what we are looking for - we don't really have to do much looking to find a single male!

Mr. Fun

[Spoomonkey]

Supply and demand...

Single men are out there - easy to find. Unfortunately, finding a really great single guy can be tough. They really don't "bring anything to the table" so to speak. Because of that, it takes some time to sift through the guys who are not physically appealing, not emotionally appealing and who are looking (whether they know it or not) to take from the table what the married guy brings...

We are really single-guy-friendly - much like the Naughtys - but everytime we go to the club there are a dozen or more singles men milling about. If we choose to play with one of them, that leaves eleven feeling like the world just isn't being fair...

The funny thing is, like last night, we had a wonderful noisy time with a guy that Mrs Spoomonkey really was hot for. And - as we were leaving after - she got hit on a couple of times by single men who think (and here is where I don't understand the way single men think) that because she did one, she obviously would like to do them all.

And that is our answer - in short - we really enjoy single guys (we have mostly played with couples, but single guys are certainly welcome to play at Spoomonkey Ranch) but my sweet little wife can't fuck all of them...

Spoomonkey

The single males we have actualy gotten to the point of meeting have been respectful genuine guys who just wanted to fuck my wife.

We have had good luck so far. But the process is long before we meet. Many e-mails, IMs, a pic of him smiling (her thing) and finaly a phone call. A phone call is a MUST before meeting. But that goes for couples or singles.

Of course going to a club is a whole different story.........

[viper31631]

When I was swinging as a single male, before I become part of a permanent triad. I had no problem meeting couples. And once you get a reputation as a "good single" word spreads fast and you would be amazed at how many couples are accepting of you.

[sharp1]

I'm a Single Male, with about 10 yrs. experience in this "lifestyle".
I have had alot of fun with couples, and single females over that time and here are the reasons why.
I don't answer ads that are looking expressly for couples or females, after all that would be a waste of time. If I'm at a party and I happen to hook up with another couple that's great, if the choose another single guy, it won't break my heart.
I do have an ad running, and I DO answer all inquiries.
I am very respectful not only to others, but to myself too.
I am discreet, the best way to fuck up a good thing is to tell
ANYONE about it!
I'm clean cut and good natured. I'm in this for fun just like everyone else.
Finally, please don't worry about us "Single Males" we're all big boys, and we'll be waiting for you when you want us!
-Michael