What does a single lady want ...

[cek]

When I first started this post I was under the impression that there were some things that ladies would like that some of us guys, myself especially, might not have "picked up on" and so I posted this thread.

It has come to my attention that such a question is found very offensive to many ladies. I am sorry.

Perhaps I was wrong in my assumptions. But I would really appreciate any thoughts about this lifestyle and relationships that people might want to post.

As for me personally, I am just backing off a bit.

I have some personal negative anniversaries comming up so I will not be saying much for a while.

I hope everyone has some really nice and fulfilling encounters in the next few weeks.

HUGs
cek

[Elusive BiFem]

You know...what I REALLY LIKE.... is a man that is interested enough in me - as an individual - to take the time to find out what I - as an individual - like and don't like.

What turns me off faster than anything this side of the sun is a man seeking a "cookie cutter" answer to the questions you posed as he sits back thinking all women are the same.

And as for this single woman...I have no problems - ever - expressing my likes and dislikes. That type of comment or thought process, in my opinion, is patronizing and belittling to all women, single or otherwise.. And you know what? That is a turn off to most of us.

- EBF

[yawanna]

Dito

This part of the board isn't, I believe, Penthouse Forum, or likely to become such. There is a section of stories that may be what you are looking for?

[OhioCouple]

Personally, I've never run into a situation where the male did not sense my emotions, be it body or mind wise and follow accordingly. Sub-liminal communication has always been there and vocal communication has occured in how to make it more pleasureable on both parts.

Perhaps it has something to do with getting to know those that you choose to engage in sex with, which was of utmost important to myself when I was single, and is, to us, as part of a married couple who choose to swing.

Out of curiosity, I looked at your profile as it appeared to me like someone that hasn't had life experience, yet was asking these questions. Totally understood. Goodness knows I had many well into my 30's. However, your age, as posted in your profile, gives me the impression that you should have figured this out by now. Are these just questions posed to benefit those who are just starting sexual experiences? If not, you may want to reconsider how you approach relationships, whether it is based soley on friendship or a potential sexual encounter.

[cek]

thanks to OhioCouple, Yawana, and Elusive BiFem.
Perhaps it is naive on my part, but I have been under the impression that some things a lot of ladies like that might not be sensed by guys at first. Then there are lots of things that only are found out by trial and error because these are things that are unique to each individual person.
Sooooo, it has been my desire to know more than I do now.
It is so easy to act like you are the know-it-all male and move on accordingly. It has just been a conviction of mine that there must be a way to learn about each other and find out the commonality that exists as well as the individaul diversities.
Perhaps this is just an idea on my part that does not exist here.
Yet way back in my head it seems that we are probably more alike then we are different.

At any rate I posted my question, as imperfectly as is might be, and I am NOT seeking penthouse-playboy type of stuff. Just a sharing of what realy pleases people. Maybe most gals would rather have a guy stumbling around and not asking.
I just thought it was more honest to ask and maybe I would get to see some commonalities.

I understand the view that some have that people are individuals and that there is no cookie-cutter approach to meeting people.
However, if that were completely true, there would be no social customs. My intention was NOT to reduce to a simple plan how to meet folks. I can do that just fine, thank you.

But what I do still hold as a firm conviction, is that we are more alike than we are different and it is those sharings that I have sought with establishing this thread. I have not intended to offend anyone.

And my approach has been different than many, perhaps.
I have seen the best encounters to be those that had an element of friendship as well instead of just sexually based.

It is the difference between scratching an itch for someone, and caring about that person beyond the itch. Well, it seems I have stepped on a nerve again in my attempts to seek some knowledge.

For some 25 years I took care of ageing relatives and have recently been trying to "catch up " on what folks are thinking now.

Well, as I said, my intention is not to offend or upset anyone.

I just wanted to provide an approved method of sharing what makes most things feel better.

HUGs, I am into gentle sharings, not fighting.

Especially I thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts.

It was very probably good for all of us. Often we find out more about what we really find as a conviction when we respond to something another has said. It helps to clairify what we think.

[Elusive BiFem]

You have answered all of your own questions and comments in this last post. Commonalites? Sure. But bottom line...we all want to be treated as individuals and some of your comments in this thread and others has not made me believe you really want to treat women as individuals. You mention friendship...try it. It will probably take you further than any information you could get here or in any sex education class you might choose to participate in. Friendship is born of sharing experiences, ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., and not from the cookie-cutter approach I mentioned earlier.

It is the difference between scratching an itch for someone, and caring about that person beyond the itch. Well, it seems I have stepped on a nerve again in my attempts to seek some knowledge.

Yes, you did step on one of my nerves and that nerve is in not being treated like an individual. We women are much alike, but we are also much different in more ways than we are alike. Personally, I don't like being lumped into one of these "e-mail me with what you like catagories."

If your apology is sincere, it is accepted. It's easy to get off on the wrong foot in a new group. How about spending some time reading the various forums and you might learn how we communicate as a group. All groups are different. Just like all people are different. We can be a forgiving group, too.

- EBF

[yawanna]

We can be a forgiving group, too.

Absolutely!

I will share small parts of my life and thinking on this public message board. I am not about to share more at the request of a brand new poster whose only or primary interest is that I share my sexual fantasies, turn ons, on here, elsewhere, and via pm etc.

I appreciate the desire to know tho. I also appreciate that many before me have done just so, and their postings are available via the search option on this site. I think perhaps it was the verocity of the request that put me, and obviously a few others, off?

This is a participatory board...not a research lab or a barrel of fish. Or monkeys. Or ..... know what I mean?

I'd suggest back up a bit *beep* * beep* *beep* and read archives and then ask what hasn't already been asked

That's NOT to say we won't answer questions that have already been asked.. heck I've asked on here something that was answered ad nauseum .... and all were patient and kind with me. Just slow it down a bit cek... you're request for information is pretty general and personal.

We wish you well

[jsnps]

I don't post here much and I haven't had the benefit of having read your past posts or comments. However, from what I have read here - it appears you are trying to take a bit too cerebral approach to it. Things (no matter what the genre or subject matter) happen differently in theory and in practice. Just as you described - each female you were intimate with had different things she liked. I think this is the case with the majority of women - and people in general. When it comes to bodies, there are no two exactly alike which means we have different preferences, likes, desires, erogenous zones, etc. While I didn't take offense to what you said, remember that some women (and men) find the implication that we are alike in everyway - insulting and degrading. While you didn't say it bluntly and I'm not sure you implied it - you post did read that way and I can see how some found it offensive. It honestly read like a guy who is looking for the fast approach to pleasing a woman with the "one stop shop" approach. Just like the rest of the "best things in life" you're going to get out of it what you put into it. I know it sounds really cliche ^^^^ (above couple of sentences) but it is true. You just need to meet the right woman and dedicate your time to learning her like you would a road map. Learn her curves, the detours and the hidden scenic routes. You efforts will pay off and you will both appreciate it. cheers, mrs. jp

[cek]

Thanks for the kind advice jsnps

Sorry if my desire to learn more was offensive.

Enjoy the weather as it warms up and have a great spring.

[yawanna]

Sorry if my desire to learn more was offensive.

It wasn't the desire...it was the route chosen.

I didnt see the original post but...

Note to Self: Do not lump all woman into the same pile.

Wait a minute..... "A pile of woman" That kinda sounds like fun!!

Sorry, just trying to lighten things up.

I will crawl back into my hole now.head bang

See you all around the board.

[cek]

I sent you a perssonal message.
For the board, a sincere thanks
for your understanding heart
and genuine warmth.
HUGs

[JustAskJulie]

Interesting how you edited your original post rather than standing by your own words and taking responsibility for them.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty
I didnt see the original post but...

Note to Self: Do not lump all woman into the same pile.

Wait a minute..... "A pile of woman" That kinda sounds like fun!!

Everyday I get on this message board and am stunned into silence by your brilliance... Texas is a better state for having you, Mr Naughty... You are like Einstein on the swing-set... I shall spend the rest of the evening picturing your mythical "woman pile"... And I will be wearing a grin!

Thank you

Spoomonkey

[cek]

I'll agree with that spoomonkey about
Mr&Mrs-naughty

As for the other comments,
I felt my original words were being missinterpreted
to be saying something I did not mean to say.

So I tried to eliminate the confusion.

My desire is not to argue.
Let's "make love, not war"!