How single male finds single female into swinging

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by good times

Right you are JnCC, A girl that likes to fish is a keeper.

LOL...actually, the fisherwoman was a real cutie. Great profile, nice legs and rack, good job, etc. etc. In short, the perfect woman for somebody, it just wasn't me. For me, "fishing" means choosing between the "almond-baked grouper" and the "honey-grilled salmon."

Besides, can you even eat carp? Here in Kentucky, when somebody offers you "Road Kill Stew" they're not kidding! But I've never seen "carp" on a menu.

Originally Posted by curious24

How about a web site for the single lady who is interested in swinging but would like to find a single male for a realtionship and swing partner. ...women and men would register for the site. Women are free obviously and men are too but the men can't send a message to women ever unless a woman sends them a message. If the male wants to read the message then he has to pay or pay to reply or something.

I think Swappernet effectively allows you to do that by blocking single males altogether. They can respond only to an inquiry by a couple or single female, which is probably as it should be.

If you've checked out any of the purely "vanilla" sites, you know there are clues that reveal whether a person might be interested in an "alternate lifestyle." Revealing pics in a profile are one obvious way (most vanilla sites prohibit outright nudity, but will permit bikini pics and cleavage). Some women make open references to "living a nudist lifestyle." That's usually a pretty good sign that they march to the beat of a different drummer. So is a picture of a woman in a "Hedo" t-shirt.

GoodTimes is right. No, or at most, very few, women would sign up on a site like you're describing, because 1) there are very few women interested in it (at least as a single) in the first place, and 2) the "good ones" don't need to sign up on them...they already have plenty of men knocking at their door, and they know how to cull the "fun guys" from the couch-potatoes.

[EternallySingle]

That site already exists. In fact, most sites are like that. They just aren't geared totally for singles. Its not a great setup because most women ARE NOT LOOKING ONLINE FOR SINGLE MEN!!!! I've gone out with two women who have ads on swing sites. One dumped me after I posted my picture on the site she belongs to (this is after we had gone out three times and she invited me over for the weekend). The other I see occasionally, like once every six or seven months after she breaks up with her current boyfriend.

Really, the easiest way is to just meet women through the normal methods and just see how open they are to swinging. Some do, but only with couples and other women. Some do, but they only want men as escorts and backup to clubs. Some do, but they quit swinging during the early part of their relationship with a boyfriend that also swings. Every once in a blue moon you might meet a single woman on a swing site that is interested in a boyfriend AND swinging with him. The swinging will almost always come first in those situations, and the boyfriend part much later.

Its all about patience. If you are not willing to work at gaining her trust, only her panties, that is all you will get. And don't think she will put you above her couple and female friends if thats the case. If you don't offer her anything but sex, that is all you will get. And she WILL get more than you if she swings regularly so...

[wayne55]

I am looking for a lady to explore this lifestyle with. Where is the best place to do this? I ma a fairly gooding looking guy and date often but I do not want to offend anyone. HELP!

[BradAndJanet]

Hi Wayne! I moved your thread over here to Singles & Swinging. I'm hoping some of the other single guys can give you some of their advice.

Generally though, it may be hard to bring up the subject while you're dating. Not impossible, but difficult to do without scaring a woman off. I'd look for someone who is open-minded about sex in general (which is great all by itself!) and then wait until you've been a couple for a while before easing into the subject.

Other thoughts, anyone?

-B

[sexyshelby]

If you're specifically looking for women in the lifestyle, you may want to try one the lifestyle online ad sites like SLS.

But, I tend to agree with Brad, it may be difficult to talk to a woman you are dating about swinging. Then again, you may just find the "right" girl...

Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.

~SS

[WesternSwing]

Welcom wayne55. Our favorite single male was married in the Lifestyle at one time and therefore has been looking for someone that Lifestyle friendly, but it is tough, especially when you are just starting dating. I mean, how do you approach it? "Well, yeah... it's like this... you see... I like swapping partners... you down with that?"

But it can happen. We know some folks that are now a couple and he was in the lifestyle before they met. They are both in it now, she is newbie, but they are doing great. So keep looking.

Mr. WS

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by wayne55

I am looking for a lady to explore this lifestyle with. Where is the best place to do this? I ma a fairly gooding looking guy and date often but I do not want to offend anyone. HELP!

Are you looking for a relationship with a woman who is "lifestyle-experienced" or at least open to the idea, are you looking for a woman who will be your "ticket" into the lifestyle, with little or no relationship other than swinging? The reason I'm asking is that the kind of woman, and where you'll need to go to meet her, varies quite a bit depending on what you want from her. Despite what you may think after reading some of the personals ads on the adult websites, there are no free lunches in this.

Basically, if you're looking for "quality" and don't mind spending a little time cultivating a relationship with a woman (it needn't be exclusive), Match.com is a pretty good place to start.

If all you want is somebody to fuck (or even more pathetic, somebody you really don't want to fuck, but that you'll contact because you think you might be able to "trade" her for somebody you do want to fuck), you can try SLS or SN. I've met women from both sites...but...

If I had to sum it up in 3 "rules," they would be these;

1) The quality of the swinging experience is directly related to the quality of the person with whom you enter into it.

2) The quality of that person is directly related to how much effort you put into finding and cultivating a relationship with them.

3) Having a "female companion" does not mean that most people in the lifestyle will hold you in the same regard they do other couples. Nor should it...there's a lot more to being a "couple" (at least in this context) than simply bringing a "date" or FB to a lifestyle party.

Oh yea, one last thing. (1b?) When selecting a lifestyle playmate, if you have to choose between "brains" or "body," choose "body." Just don't let her make a key to your house, or you might wind up needing 3 squad cars and a court-order to get her out. Ask me how I know this...

[dayhiker]

Originally Posted by sexyshelby

If you're specifically looking for women in the lifestyle, you may want to try one the lifestyle online ad sites like SLS.

But, I tend to agree with Brad, it may be difficult to talk to a woman you are dating about swinging. Then again, you may just find the "right" girl...

Good luck.
Let us know how it goes.

~SS

I'd think it would be a lot better to bring up swinging while dating that waiting till you were married and then trying to bring it up. There are some couples I've read that when it was brought up they both went ya, but I've talked to way more that one brought up it and the other thought their spouce was crazy! Some even took it as a major insult. My wife thought I was joking and then took it as an insult.

dayhiker

[wayne55]

Thanks for the info. I will act on some of the replys. To answer a question that was posted, I am looking for a "long term" relationship with a quality woman. Not a "ticket" as it was put.

Thanks,
W

[curiousagain]

Originally Posted by JnCC

Oh yea, one last thing. (1b?) When selecting a lifestyle playmate, if you have to choose between "brains" or "body," choose "body." Just don't let her make a key to your house, or you might wind up needing 3 squad cars and a court-order to get her out. Ask me how I know this...

Yeah, I don't let anybody else have a key to my house either. You only have to do that screw up one time.

[bear_n_bunny]

Originally Posted by wayne55

Thanks for the info. I will act on some of the replys. To answer a question that was posted, I am looking for a "long term" relationship with a quality woman. Not a "ticket" as it was put.

Thanks,
W

Unfortunately a lot of single guys will try to find a "ticket", since most swinger's clubs and parties don't allow single males (and for good reason).

In your case, the easiest way to approach this would be to make the rounds of the more laid back dating sites, like AFF, Matchmaker and others that don't heavily restrict what you can put in your profile, and set up accounts in each. (And yes, using swinger sites like SLS or CT can help, as you do actually find the occasional single woman on these sites who are not focused solely on other women. However, unless you are Dash Riprock, packing a ten inch Dick of Death and a well-packed bank account, you will have a rather long wait.)

I would handle this with a certain subtlety, simply including in your profile that you are experienced in the swinging lifestyle, and would like to meet a woman who either also experienced in the lifestyle, or at least amenable to the idea of getting into it with you at some point.

Use your imagination, but this is the gist of what you want to include in your profile, along with all the rest of the usual stuff you'd include as a man looking for a relationship, etc.

-- Bear

[fromdallas]

I have been swinging for 4 yrs and have been divorced for 10. my xwife and I didnt ever talk about swining. When I finally decided to start swinging I went at it alone. I have dated some but never felt that the women I was dating were open to the idea. I have started to discuss my desires to the women I have been meeting and so far none of them have responded in a positive way. I felt that by being honest in what I am looking for sexually they would not be surprised when I finally brought it up later in our relationship. Good luck with your search.

[GoNatural]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

Some do, but they quit swinging during the early part of their relationship with a boyfriend that also swings.

Actually that would be ideal for me. I'd be happy to quit for a couple of years if I knew that a potential life partner would want to swing later on.