Picking up a single in a bar?

[Spoomonkey]

Okay - here is a question for those brave souls who know more than I... And even for the timid soul who knows more... Okay - hell - if you don't know more than me, you must be smashingly ignorant...



Mrs Spoomonkey and I are traveling this weekend and have discussed the "possibility" of picking up a single guy at the hotel bar - if the opportunity presents itself. We are in a low spot in our ability to hit the club, so we thought, if the planets line up and the drive is not too taxing, we may give this a whirl.

Obviously, you can't "create" a moment, but the question is - have any of you done this? If so, what worked? What didn't? Any suggestions, warnings, advice? I think Mrs Spoomonkey deserves the extra attention for putting up with my hospital scare last week - and my asinine stupidity in forcing her to let me run anyway this week.



Spoomonkey

[EternallySingle]

I've was picked up by a couple in a coffee shop once. They came up, talked to me about books, then politics, then religion, then relationships, then sex. By the time they steered the conversation to sex I already knew what the deal is and asked "do you like (short pause) swing (take a sip of tea) music?" He looked confused but she quickly replied they go to a swing club that has good music and was looking for one while they were in town. Then he caught on. It was a good night.

Another time, a woman came up to me and started a very boring conversation about how she always wanted to try a threesome and wanted to meet a guy she could bring home to party with her and her husband. Too direct, especially for a public place where I was known. Even though most of the people there knew about the lifestyle (mainly musicians and theatre people went there) the approach was not approriate. Before she had a chance to get turned down by me, someone made a joke about another tourist looking to play at being a swinger in the safety of a tourist trap. Needless to say they were more embarrassed than I was and left quickly.

You have to be direct, but tactful. Give yourself a way out before you commit to telling him you want him to join you two for sex. Make sure your conversation starts off innocently, but suggestively, so you can judge his reactions. If he jumps on the sex aspects too quickly or too aggressively, leave the bar, not just him. By that time, everyone in the bar knows what you want and will be hitting on the wife. Keep the conversation moving toward sex, but in a way that gives him a way to back out gracefully. Believe it or not, some men are not up for sexual marathons with married couples, no matter how attractive the woman is.

Lastly, don't let one person go first, then have the other join in. Thats tacky. It works with people you know or when you're in a swing club, but when approaching a guy you don't know is into swinging, you have to make sure he knows you're in this together. Also, if the husband approaches first, the man might think he's a pimp and she's a hooker (okay if thats a game you want to play, not okay if you are concerned with how he's going to treat her). If the wife approaches him first, nine times out of ten the guy will run when he finds out the husband's going to be there. Ever heard the story of the guy who went to a hotel with a woman and woke up with one of his kidney's gone?

[midnightpassion]

we have picked up a few ladies before. our advice start everything off slow. if you are trying to pick up another man. Let your wife make the first move.

[JonnyBlaze]

havnt done it but have discussed having my girl pick up a stranger at a bar or club just to see if she could do it. i bet her she couldnt get laid somewhere in the club even tho i think she could, i just want her to try

JBlaze

[hmr]

You may want to consider entering the bar separately. Stay close enough, but leave your wife alone to make a connection. If she meets someone she is attracted to, the conversation will usually turn to 'are you here alone?' She can answer with 'actually I'm with my husband...he's around somewhere. We have a very open marriage.... ' This will either run him off or intrigue him to ask more! It worked for us!

[JustAskJulie]

ALL of these are great advice, I especially agree with HMR's comment about entering seperately and letting your wife find the guy and get things going.

Of course the weekend you spoke of is now over, so did you do it?

[Spoomonkey]

Julie

We drove like mad men... Well - she was more "mad woman", but you get the gist...

Riding in seperate cars sucks for us, since we are just very much addicted to each other...

We get to the hotel - one we have stayed at numerous times - and I notice all the lights are out at the bar... "Honey," I say into out newly bought walkie talkies, "I think it may be closed."

Sure enough - closed for renovation...

And we really were looking forward to it! We had decided (as usual) to have no expectations, but I think we both really hoped... Needless to say - after an eight hour drive and not being in the same car together, we managed to have a good night anyway... A REALLY good night... Mrs Spoomonkey can fix all of my disappointments

The is always next time - so, single guy, we're hunting you... And you're gonna get it good once Mrs Spoomonkey gets her hands on you...

Spoomonkey

[bohica]

I have been quite the lurker here... but where are you traveling?

I am in the D.C. area.

[Spoomonkey]

We travel just about everywhere...

We haven't been to D.C. yet - but that kind of stuff always changes... Go wait at a bar - who knows

Spoomonkey

[bohica]

Surrender

Your day is coming.

Just hang in there!!

[bohica]

I can only hope...

[bser]

just take it easy, go in the bar have a drink look around. when you spot a possible get some eye contact. if he looks your way look away then back again either smile or tip your glass slightly. if he's into it he'll do the same the more eye contact the better . after a couple of smiles have hubby go to the john & see if the guy comes over. my girl & i have had very good luck this way with guys and girls especially at hotels where everybody is traveling. go to the room together dont just one of you go with him/her

[SluttyWife]

Congrats! You're exploring hotwife territory!
This can be both an adventure and a boon.
You need to play your cards right.

Here's one very experienced hotwife's input on increasing the odds of Friday night fantasy fulfillment.

My first question to you is this...

Is there a business convention in town over the weekend?

I ask cos the closer your hotel and hotel bar is to a convention center with a business-orientated convention or trade show the better. If you want 80% odds or higher you need to go out when a convention comes to town. It doesn't matter if you go in the beginning or near it's end...just do dinner with your wife beforehand and hang out at your hotel's bar. You won't get another opporunity to eat til breakfast...and please don't invite HIM...it'll just ruin the whole dynamic. :slam"

I recommend a hotel room in a an upper class hotel....
Three stars is as low as you should go, my dears.
This is crucial if you want to greatly increase your "safety" odds and find more sophisticated play partners more conductive to what you have in mind. You also get a better class of partner here far more likely to treat your wife like a lady and not just "a floozy" from the bar. I hate to be talking this way here but alot of single men in bars are on the make and don't hold high opinions of sexually forward women. Sad fact...but they are not swingers and thank gawd we like to say.

So think Doubletree hotels, Embassy Suites, Marriotts, Wyndhams...minimum... Expensive sounding..maybe...but you can find some amazing deals on websites like RoomSaver.com and our favourite Expedia.com and rooms tend to be on the cheap Thursday-Friday. If all else fails...look up the Convention and Visitors Bureau website for your town or the town you are traveling to and click on the "lodging" links....Just about everytime we do we uncover some unexpected treasure.

OK..so you've planned "the place..."

Now all that's left to do is "slutty up" Ms. Spoomonkey (sexy black cocktail dress and pedicured feet in sexy heels almost always seems to work) and get her a hotwife anklet. Ever seen how men suddenly get whiplash when a woman enters a room in high heels? I don't know what it is about the anklet but it's one mesmerizing little piece of jewellery. There are actually websites that specialize in selling "hotwife" and "slutwife" jewellery. I also know from experience that many men who travel a great deal on business actually recognise them, too. Try Slut Wife Charms or Hotwife Charms or just get her a nice plain silver or gold one.
Nice investment with a very healthy return, we like to say!

Now perch your beautiful babe at the bar and go sit elsewhere and watch men ply her with drinks and compete for her attention.

She should pretty much have her choice of lover(s) for the night in a little under an hour. My average timing anyway.

It's important that you two prearrange some sort of signal of agreement...just like you do when you swing.

Very few men would turn down such an offer, especially a man out of town on business. Now when you get to your room both men need to focus on pleasuring Ms. Spoomonkey and pleasuring Ms. Spoomonkey all they can. That is key to a great time!


Slutty Wife Tips:

To Ms. Spoomonkey:

I like to sit crosslegged in my slutty stilettos and finger mine a little. My ANKLET...folks..The wedding ring amplifies the effect..trust me.

To Mr. Spoomonkey:

She's got YOU, babe. Do not forget that.

To both:

Tell one of your trusted swinging friends your whereabouts for the evening "just in case." It is highly unlikely that you would get into a funny situation but you never know which is why we like to do this at the same bar our room is at.

Try to go all night with the sex and spend the next day doing something relaxing in a group with friends or somewhere where you two are obviously back in your everyday place and known to everyone as "a couple"...Sometimes awkward silences and spaces might follow something so sexually stirring. This is natural. It's best to just ride it out and talk about it when it naturally comes up. Works for the Knight and I anyway.

While we're on the hotwife subject...I must fess up and tell you guys that Sir Mike and I pen a newly syndicated advice column called "Hotwife Help."

You might want to check it out and reference it as you ride down the hotwife highway from time to time.

Best of luck and have safe fun, you two!

;-*

Slutty Wife

[cek]

Dito
The sluttywife comments are really good, also
bser's
"just take it easy, go in the bar have a drink look around. when you spot a possible get some eye contact. if he looks your way look away then back again either smile or tip your glass slightly. if he's into it he'll do the same the more eye contact the better . after a couple of smiles have hubby go to the john & see if the guy comes over. my girl & i have had very good luck this way with guys and girls especially at hotels where everybody is traveling. go to the room together dont just one of you go with him/her",
which is almost taken from a psyc. book.
facelick
So many good postings here, but most importantly be upfront and honest about it and stick to the issue,
it is the lady he is being recruited to help make happy.

Do tell us how it made out the second time you tried.

Thanks for sharing
cek