Singles: What have been your greatest Stumbling Blocks

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-08-2004, 12:07 AM

Singles, what do you feel has been your greatest stumbling block in getting involved in the lifestyle?

Looks? Your single status? Lack of partner? Inability to meet other swingers??? etc?

And if you are actively involved in the lifestyle, did you find any major stumbling blocks in getting involved or did it just happen for you? How did you get involved?

fun_pairTX · 01-08-2004, 12:28 AM

I have always blamed it on BO, but Mrs Fun tells me it is the single eye in the middle of my forehead.
Oh well.....................

**Alura** · 01-08-2004, 10:07 AM

You need a third category, Julie. "We're not single, but we want to see the results."

Mrs. Alura and I want to know what constitutes "active." It's been a few years since we played with another couple. Strictly speaking we'd have to say "No." Still, we don't feel inactive, and what if a couple is "actively" working on a new friendship with another couple with hopes it will work out and play will result?

Mr. Alura

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-08-2004, 03:03 PM

There's a link next to the "Vote" button (on all polls) to allow you to view the results without voting.

**Alura** · 01-08-2004, 04:50 PM

Thanks, Julie. How could I have not noticed that before??? Anyway, I clicked on it and the site crashed. I'll try again.

Alura

EternallySingle · 01-08-2004, 07:19 PM

Speaking for myself, I think being taken seriously is my biggest obstacle to swinging. With clubs basically off limits, most of my attempts at swinging have come from ads and most of the responses I've gotten have been either "Give me your phone number NOW or we won't respond" or "We said we enjoy single males but we don't meet men we don't know"

. My personal favorite is "I/we have read some of your posts on the bulletin board, and decided I/we really don't believe you're single so don't write us anymore."

Life

StacyCat · 01-12-2004, 03:08 AM

Is there a "kinda" option? :-)

Im not actively involved with swinging. Im not opposed to it, but im more seeking relationships (im much more poly than swinger).

Im defiantly not opposed to swinger parties, or casual sex, but its hard for me to hit it off with guys that just want that. :-) so, no, im not ative.

curiousagain · 09-21-2004, 05:20 AM

Don't believe you're single? ROFLMAO

I believe the biggest stumbling block is just meeting other people. I haven't tried the
club scene, only heard about it and what I hear from singles is don't go. I rely on an internet ad and so far it has worked OK. There's a lot of fakers and pic collectors, but, you just have to be careful.

Play safe, and play careful, it's a big world out there

Curiousagain

Pink · 09-29-2004, 08:26 AM

As a Single and Bi female I tend to float in and out of the lifestyle. Partners are way way way to easy to come by as just about all the single guy's I run into are more then willing. In fact most the minute they hear i'm Bi have visions of *sugar plums* dancing in their heads. Then they forget to build a relationship based off anything more the just the Sex. That has been what's kept me from really joining in. I'd love a *real* partner I can share this with, rather then just be the entertainment. And... when i've withheld the fact of being Bi, it only takes a short time for most of the single guy's to ask if i'd ever considered it. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

EternallySingle · 09-29-2004, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pink

As a Single and Bi female I tend to float in and out of the lifestyle. Partners are way way way to easy to come by as just about all the single guy's I run into are more then willing. In fact most the minute they hear i'm Bi have visions of *sugar plums* dancing in their heads. Then they forget to build a relationship based off anything more the just the Sex. That has been what's kept me from really joining in. I'd love a *real* partner I can share this with, rather then just be the entertainment. And... when i've withheld the fact of being Bi, it only takes a short time for most of the single guy's to ask if i'd ever considered it. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

LOL I wish I had that problem. Would be nice to stand around and wait for...never mind. Its so funny to hear that complaint, though, when talking about stumbling blocks to swinging. Well, from a single guys point of view, anyway. I don't know how many women I've missed a chance to have sex with because I didn't ask those questions because I didn't want to offend her.

Bottom line for the younger ladies: We don't understand you. And we never will. We accept that, do you?

Malachista · 05-07-2008, 07:09 AM

Fear of Rejection

I grew up with a my fathers family, and they made sure to have me know that they did not aprove of either me or my mother.
Now I'm just unable to make the first move towards people I would like to get to know (and not just while at a swing club, but in general)

Playful1 · 05-09-2008, 02:16 PM

Hmmm...though question actually.

I got involved through a friend of mine and his partner. I had a great introduction, no real stumbling blocks to getting involved other than my own inexperience(with alcohol mainly). Thankfully my friends were understanding and kept inviting me back and it worked out great. My biggest stumbling block has probably been my own insecurity about my looks and being a little shy sometimes. That and peoples assumptions that because I am a single female, I must not be "nice. I get told all the time after people get to know me that they were so surprised ot find out how "nice/sweet" I am.

Clandestine · 05-20-2008, 11:17 AM

I think my biggest stumbling block is the fact that I'm single...or swingle as I call it

A lot of people truly believe that you can't swing if you're single.

To a certain extent I agree. The term swinging basically brings to mind the old keys in a bowl scenario and that's what couples do.

But, if I'm playing with a couple, 2 couples....or whatever situation, I'm swinging.

If I'm playing one on one...I'm not but I'm still a swinger.

So basically being accepted is my biggest stumbling block.

There are others of course but most of them I've overcome. For instance: Fear of rejection, confidence issues.

***JustAskJulie*** · 05-20-2008, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clandestine

I think my biggest stumbling block is the fact that I'm single...or swingle as I call it

A lot of people truly believe that you can't swing if you're single.

To a certain extent I agree. The term swinging basically brings to mind the old keys in a bowl scenario and that's what couples do.

But, if I'm playing with a couple, 2 couples....or whatever situation, I'm swinging.

If I'm playing one on one...I'm not but I'm still a swinger.

So basically being accepted is my biggest stumbling block.

There are others of course but most of them I've overcome. For instance: Fear of rejection, confidence issues.

I was in your shoes for a while and I agree completely.

magnum · 06-05-2008, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Singles, what do you feel has been your greatest stumbling block in getting involved in the lifestyle?

Looks? Your single status? Lack of partner? Inability to meet other swingers??? etc?

And if you are actively involved in the lifestyle, did you find any major stumbling blocks in getting involved or did it just happen for you? How did you get involved?

I stumbled into swinging. A friend of mine who is married asked me to join them for a play date, MFM...The rest is history...If it had not been for him asking me, I would have had no idea on how to get involved in the lifestyle.

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View Poll Results: SINGLES, Are you actively involved in swinging?
Yes	40	63.49%
No	23	36.51%
Voters: 63. You may not vote on this poll

01-08-2004, 12:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,292 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Singles: What have been your greatest Stumbling Blocks Singles, what do you feel has been your greatest stumbling block in getting involved in the lifestyle? Looks? Your single status? Lack of partner? Inability to meet other swingers??? etc? And if you are actively involved in the lifestyle, did you find any major stumbling blocks in getting involved or did it just happen for you? How did you get involved?
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

01-08-2004, 12:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
fun_pairTX Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 1,185 Location: Ennis, Texas Status: Couple	Hmmmm I have always blamed it on BO, but Mrs Fun tells me it is the single eye in the middle of my forehead. Oh well.....................
	__________________ fun_pairTX

01-08-2004, 03:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,292 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	There's a link next to the "Vote" button (on all polls) to allow you to view the results without voting.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

01-08-2004, 10:07 AM	#3 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	You need a third category, Julie. "We're not single, but we want to see the results." Mrs. Alura and I want to know what constitutes "active." It's been a few years since we played with another couple. Strictly speaking we'd have to say "No." Still, we don't feel inactive, and what if a couple is "actively" working on a new friendship with another couple with hopes it will work out and play will result? Mr. Alura

01-08-2004, 04:50 PM	#5 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Thanks, Julie. How could I have not noticed that before??? Anyway, I clicked on it and the site crashed. I'll try again. Alura

01-08-2004, 07:19 PM	#6 (permalink)
EternallySingle Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 1,035 Location: Michigan Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:ABSingleMan	being taken seriously Speaking for myself, I think being taken seriously is my biggest obstacle to swinging. With clubs basically off limits, most of my attempts at swinging have come from ads and most of the responses I've gotten have been either "Give me your phone number NOW or we won't respond" or "We said we enjoy single males but we don't meet men we don't know" . My personal favorite is "I/we have read some of your posts on the bulletin board, and decided I/we really don't believe you're single so don't write us anymore." Life
	__________________ "Style is not lusting after somone because they are cool. Style is loving yourself till everyone else does too." Prince

01-12-2004, 03:08 AM	#7 (permalink)
StacyCat Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 114 Location: Texas Status: Single Bi Female	Is there a "kinda" option? :-) Im not actively involved with swinging. Im not opposed to it, but im more seeking relationships (im much more poly than swinger). Im defiantly not opposed to swinger parties, or casual sex, but its hard for me to hit it off with guys that just want that. :-) so, no, im not ative.

09-21-2004, 05:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
curiousagain A gentleman never tells Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,131 Location: Southeastern USA Status: half of a couple	Re: Stumbling Blocks Don't believe you're single? ROFLMAO I believe the biggest stumbling block is just meeting other people. I haven't tried the club scene, only heard about it and what I hear from singles is don't go. I rely on an internet ad and so far it has worked OK. There's a lot of fakers and pic collectors, but, you just have to be careful. Play safe, and play careful, it's a big world out there Curiousagain

09-29-2004, 08:26 AM	#9 (permalink)
Pink Active Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 27 Location: OH Swing Lifestyle Name:_Pink_	Re: Stumbling Blocks As a Single and Bi female I tend to float in and out of the lifestyle. Partners are way way way to easy to come by as just about all the single guy's I run into are more then willing. In fact most the minute they hear i'm Bi have visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. Then they forget to build a relationship based off anything more the just the Sex. That has been what's kept me from really joining in. I'd love a real partner I can share this with, rather then just be the entertainment. And... when i've withheld the fact of being Bi, it only takes a short time for most of the single guy's to ask if i'd ever considered it. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
	__________________ facelick PINK !! "I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get."

05-07-2008, 07:09 AM	#11 (permalink)
Malachista Pussy on the Prowl Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 305 Location: Central Europe Status: Single Female	Re: Singles: What have been your greatest Stumbling Blocks Fear of Rejection I grew up with a my fathers family, and they made sure to have me know that they did not aprove of either me or my mother. Now I'm just unable to make the first move towards people I would like to get to know (and not just while at a swing club, but in general)

05-09-2008, 02:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
Playful1 A slut who likes to read Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 229 Location: Maryland, US. Status: Single Female Swing Lifestyle Name:Sebastiane	Re: Singles: What have been your greatest Stumbling Blocks Hmmm...though question actually. I got involved through a friend of mine and his partner. I had a great introduction, no real stumbling blocks to getting involved other than my own inexperience(with alcohol mainly). Thankfully my friends were understanding and kept inviting me back and it worked out great. My biggest stumbling block has probably been my own insecurity about my looks and being a little shy sometimes. That and peoples assumptions that because I am a single female, I must not be "nice. I get told all the time after people get to know me that they were so surprised ot find out how "nice/sweet" I am.

05-20-2008, 11:17 AM	#13 (permalink)
Clandestine Registered Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 8 Location: England Status: Single Female	Re: Singles: What have been your greatest Stumbling Blocks I think my biggest stumbling block is the fact that I'm single...or swingle as I call it A lot of people truly believe that you can't swing if you're single. To a certain extent I agree. The term swinging basically brings to mind the old keys in a bowl scenario and that's what couples do. But, if I'm playing with a couple, 2 couples....or whatever situation, I'm swinging. If I'm playing one on one...I'm not but I'm still a swinger. So basically being accepted is my biggest stumbling block. There are others of course but most of them I've overcome. For instance: Fear of rejection, confidence issues.

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