Swinging single male resumes' ?

[awider2000]

A thought occured to me lol, it does happen. What about Resume's for the swinging single male? I mean sure you can list your qualifications and all, but maybe more importantly to make couples and solo females feel safer list some references etc.. Does anyone have ideas on what you could put on such a document? My feeling is it might save some time especially for couples that are wanting to add a single guy to there play time;you know help them weed through the zilllion guys out there to find what there looking for.
Any Thoughts ?
Mike

[Elusive BiFem]

Mike, as a single female, I understand your point as best I can, and in theory, it might be OK, but in reality...ummmm....just strikes a negative note with me. As I've said on other threads...sounds too clinical or contrived. But that's just my take.

OK...so you want to furnish references. Right off, you would need to get very specific permission from others you have been with and that might be somewhat difficult. If you called me and said, "Hey, EBF! Can I use you for a reference and give out your e-mail to this couple..." Well, you'd probably get an earful and I doubt we'd be friends any longer. And if you didn't call and at least give me the opportunity to chew you out...I'd hunt you down like a coyote! In the first place, you'd be involving my name with others where I might not want it involved and even if I was even remotely agreeable, I'd want to know who you were giving my name to as a reference...then involving their names where they might not want them involved. Who knows? It might be a relative or neighbor or even my boss you were talking to!

Nope...bad idea, IMO, but it will be interesting to see others opinions on this subject.

I know single guys have tough duty in this lifestyle and get bad press from many people. However, I'm still inclined to believe the honest approach will work for most. Offer to meet at a local mall...Bennigans or some such place, middle of the day...no unnecessary threats. Be nice and courteous to the couple or single female, AND to the wait staff, other patrons. Smile. Offer your phone number. Let them know where you work if YOU feel comfortable doing so. Be agreeable to more than one meeting. Let them really get to know you and get a feel for you and how you interact with them AND others. That's what I do with anyone I meet in any situation. It's really easy for someone to put their best foot forward to impress me, and really that doesn't impress me. Hence...the reason I observe closely their interactions with others. I want to know how they really act towards the human race and figure in the end, that'll be their reactions with me.

Now I'm off on another dissertation so I'm outta here and watching for other responses! Sorry...EBF

[fun_pairTX]

Today you are the virtual Baroness of Bellicose !!

L

[sexypairca]

A sexual resume? As the female half of a couple that does play with single males, I wouldn't even glance it over. Sounds like a bragging list to me. A single male (or single female or couple) that presented me with a swinging resume would have just made up my mind, not a prayer .

A charming, adventurous, witty and respectful person does not need to list his accomplishments in the lifestyle. Anything that would be put on paper would not convey anything about personality. References would hold the same water IMHO. What could be possibly vouched for, "he isn't psycho" or something of the like?

Chemistry isn't on paper, and attraction doesn't happen by referal.

I think that I understand your intention but wouldn't recommend it as a way to increase your odds.

Annette

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
Today you are the virtual Baroness of Bellicose !!

L

I don't know what that means, but I think it has something to do with my dissertation!

At least I recognized it this time...I'm getting better. And I apologized. And I quit. Do I get any points for that? - EBF

[jcbicouple]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem


OK...so you want to furnish references. Right off, you would need to get very specific permission from others you have been with and that might be somewhat difficult. If you called me and said, "Hey, EBF! Can I use you for a reference and give out your e-mail to this couple..." Well, you'd probably get an earful and I doubt we'd be friends any longer. And if you didn't call and at least give me the opportunity to chew you out...I'd hunt you down like a coyote! In the first place, you'd be involving my name with others where I might not want it involved and even if I was even remotely agreeable, I'd want to know who you were giving my name to as a reference...then involving their names where they might not want them involved. Who knows? It might be a relative or neighbor or even my boss you were talking to!

We agree! If someone were to ask to use us as a sexual reference, we would respond with a resounding NO! If we were used as a reference without our knowledge or permission, then hunting them down like a coyote would be too good for them!

[fun_pairTX]

Well EBF, it could best be equated as being the female equivalent of Polonius' character in Hamlet. He is the one that began his extended soliloquy with "Let me be brief" . LOL

[Elusive BiFem]

Originally posted by fun_pairTX
Well EBF, it could best be equated as being the female equivalent of Polonius' character in Hamlet. He is the one that began his extended soliloquy with "Let me be brief" . LOL

Yeah, yeah, yeah..."Let me be brief" isn't in my realm!

And you know...I was reading Julie's post on stories...something about tossing out one page stories...and I thought...she's telling wrnakedru and me THAT!!!! I figure by the time we finish our little story...well, War and Peace will come in at second place.

OK...Mike...we hijacked your thread...and now, back on due course... - EBF

[awider2000]

Nothing to be sorry about. I can understand your view point about references maybe thats not such a hot idea of course with permission but even then i see your point. I guess my thinking was to try to makes things better as far as the stigma single guys are getting. Hmmmm hunt me down like a coyote? That could be a fun game :-D . On another note yeah i can see where bragging would come into to play however I think that could be spotted right off. Well I did want to spark something here so buy all means let it rip.
Mike

[awider2000]

Originally posted by sexypairca
A sexual resume? As the female half of a couple that does play with single males, I wouldn't even glance it over. Sounds like a bragging list to me. A single male (or single female or couple) that presented me with a swinging resume would have just made up my mind, not a prayer .

A charming, adventurous, witty and respectful person does not need to list his accomplishments in the lifestyle. Anything that would be put on paper would not convey anything about personality. References would hold the same water IMHO. What could be possibly vouched for, "he isn't psycho" or something of the like?

Chemistry isn't on paper, and attraction doesn't happen by referal.

I think that I understand your intention but wouldn't recommend it as a way to increase your odds.

Annette

My intention was not meant for it to be a deciding factor on as to swing with the individual but more as to if you would want to meet with them. But then again maybe that is half the fun
If you think about it though thats what our profiles do on the swinger sites so maybe im beating a dead horse?

[EternallySingle]

A woman I know from a chat room told me I should call a club in Chicago that she belongs to about joining. The FIRST thing they asked for were the names of two couples I swung with or the name of a couple that I knew that was a member of their club. Thinking (hoping, praying) it was some kind of test of my descretion, I to them "While I was refered to your club by <first name> <last name> and have her permission and was even told to list her as a reference, I will not ask or even consider asking anyone else to use them as a reference. The few people I have contacted are not members of your club, and I will not tell you or anyone else who they are." I got two letters back saying that they ask that of all their members, even the married couples, because it eliminates the chances of news crews sneaking in to do exposes. When I realized they really wanted me to name names, I told them and my friend I wouldn't feel comfortable at that club.

The resume thing is the same. You are giving away someone's name (and phone number if you are going to verify the info) so you can have sex with someone else? Not a very discreet or honorable thing to do, no matter what the reward.

And who knows what the other person would REALLY use those names for. Remember how a certain person who worked in a certain high profile political establishment and bragged to her friend about a fling she had with a certain high ranking official and how that became bigger news than three earthquakes, a hurricane, volcanic eruption, and outbreak of a small war?

[EternallySingle]

In my experience, its not the couples that have had good experiences with single guys that have the problems with single guys involved in swinging. Its the ones that don't want experiences with single guys but still get bombarded by rude guys (mainly online) that have the problem with single guys trying to become involved with swinging. And even then, its mainly "Why don't they leave us alone? It will be easier if they were not around then we wouldn't have to be bothered with them."

[awider2000]

Originally posted by EternallySingle
A woman I know from a chat room told me I should call a club in Chicago that she belongs to about joining. The FIRST thing they asked for were the names of two couples I swung with or the name of a couple that I knew that was a member of their club. Thinking (hoping, praying) it was some kind of test of my descretion, I to them "While I was refered to your club by <first name> <last name> and have her permission and was even told to list her as a reference, I will not ask or even consider asking anyone else to use them as a reference. The few people I have contacted are not members of your club, and I will not tell you or anyone else who they are." I got two letters back saying that they ask that of all their members, even the married couples, because it eliminates the chances of news crews sneaking in to do exposes. When I realized they really wanted me to name names, I told them and my friend I wouldn't feel comfortable at that club.

The resume thing is the same. You are giving away someone's name (and phone number if you are going to verify the info) so you can have sex with someone else? Not a very discreet or honorable thing to do, no matter what the reward.

And who knows what the other person would REALLY use those names for. Remember how a certain person who worked in a certain high profile political establishment and bragged to her friend about a fling she had with a certain high ranking official and how that became bigger news than three earthquakes, a hurricane, volcanic eruption, and outbreak of a small war?

I would have to agree with you on this as I stated before prolly not such a hot Idea the references. It was just a thought this Resume thing Bad Brain very bad brain naughty bad this is what happens when i think...

[TNT]

We're going to have to go the opposite way with this.

A resume, as in a printed out piece of paper or a saved filed to be sent via e-mail, would seem presumptous and well, kind of tacky.

However, on swinger ad sites such as<a href="http://swingersboard.swinglifestyle.com">SLS</a> where they offer a validation process, this we like. You can validate someone as being real, fun, or whatever you want if you have met the person in real life without having to give out your name or e-mail addy, as all you are using is your screen name and the site strips your e-mail so no one can get it.

It does not necessarily mean that you have had sex with that person, just that you have met and they are who they represent themselves to be.

This can be used for couples as well as singles and is useful for separating the wantabes and posers from those who are serious about swinging.


TNT

[Elusive BiFem]

Question, TNT, or anyone else...about the validation thing on the Swing Lifestyle site ya'll mentioned...does that mean that anyone can "validate" another person - even without that person's permission?

If the answer is yes, I think that is another breach of discretion that has been mentioned so frequently. For example, if I just met ya'll, and as you said, no sex was involved, you "validated" me...well, it seems to me this "validation" thing would be interpreted by most as meaning sex was involved. Even if it was spelled out..."We met EBF for tiddly-winks only" - I would still find it to be a breach of what I would have assumed was going to be a confidential meeting.

On the other hand...the Meet Ups! we have on occasion in various locations...that doesn't bother me as it seems obvious from the follow-up postings here that those meetings are strictly fun, no-pressure, friendly get-togethers of people in specific locations. There are no innuendos to suggest anything otherwise.

Thanks! - EBF