What type of behavior can a couple expect from the typical single male at a club?

[MattLisa]

I think my husband and myself are one of the rare couples activily seeking single males (at least from what I've seen hehehe). So far we have been speaking to people over the net, but would like to attend a on-premises club at some point in the near future. I'm wondering how most single men at these events act? I've had a lot of wonderful contact with some very nice single men but have also had more than my fair share of the bozos that screw it up for the nice guys. In face to face contacts do any single males really act as rude and crude as they do via email? Am I going to be swarmed if guys see me not turning away other singles? How can we keep activities sane, such as if I/We invite a few select males to play with us and want to make sure we don't get sexually swarmed as well? I'm all for activities that give the illusion of loosing control, but I'm not cool with it actually happening!

Thanks for any assistance

[Flori_DAMAN]

Hi,
We also like the occasional single male. As you know there are no shortage of them online and good screening and following your instinct will usually produce good results if you are very patient

In face to face contacts do any single males really act as rude and crude as they do via email?

Absolutely not! The shield of anonymity is the only reason guys act so like rubbish online. They are usually the types that would not or could not approach any female that doesn't charge in real life.
However; that being said, the guy that has enough confidence to attend a swing club may also be a bit crafty. They often will be dishonest at the drop of a hat. They of course want to get laid and will say just about anything that they think you want to hear to accomplish that feat.
If you are just into a quicky with a good looking guy then that is no problem. If you are picky about his marital status, personality etc. then go very slow and get his phone number and other information.
Most swing clubs with any class at all carefully screen and limit single men. Your post appears to demonstrate a fear of things getting out of hand with a bunch of wild single horny guys. This problem is not present at a high quality club. Research your club before you go there. Call them and ask there policies.
Finally, use your instincts. If either of you get bad "vibes" from a guy then drop him now. We avoid any type of pushiness especially. If they push you for sex then they will more likely than not be selfish in bed and inconsiderate of you as a couple and your fantasy fulfillment. We do not let them know what we are looking for first. We interview them not vica versa. That avoids them telling us what we want to hear.
Hope that helps a bit. J & T.

[MattLisa]

Thank you for the info michigancouple! I was just wondering if you could let me know the easiest way to do the "interview"? Most email conversations do a back and forth, sharing a bit from each side and I'm concerned about having an awkward in person conversation with someone at a club. It does sound like an *awesome* idea because so many guys tell me they like certain actitivies and when I respond with some of mine a lot of them instantly agree even if they haven't had any experience with it (not neccisarily bad, but when you have 20 guys tell you "oh I like it but haven't done it" it makes you start to wonder). How do I draw out the nice singles in person to tell me a little bit more than "I like to please and really like kitty licking" (why do guys *always* say that to get a girl in the sack? There is more to sex than oral! <G> )

Thank you for the warning about remembering that some guys will lie, ect. I tend to trust too much and will keep this info in mind.

Thank you!

[invictus]

Just a comment from our expeience.

We have only been to one "on-site" club in Pheonix which (from the reviews) is one of the better ones. This one allows single males on certain nights but couples only on the weekend.

Unfortunatly, we only has a chance to go on a night with single males. We did meet some couples and they did have private rooms.

If however you enjoy exhibitionism or larger groups, everything that occurred in public veiw resulted in a "herd" of single males standing about 2 foot away with their dicks in their hands.

We tried to look in one of the "glassed in" rooms to see what was happening. We could not even get close because of all the single males. When a few of them noticed us behind them (we were fully clothed and I was only hugging her from behind), some of them turned toward us (dicks in hand) and began to crowd toward us.

I suppose it depends on the couple and what they want. We will definitly try an on-premise club again. But we will never go if they allow single males. It was not what we were interested in and was very overbearing even if we wanted a single male.

Just one experience but it happened to us.

M&J

[Flori_DAMAN]

The club you went to sucks Invictus, at least on that night. There is a club right in our home town that allows single men in without limitations and we would never consider attending it. Most clubs around here only allow a few and then only if accompanied by a couple. There are always a few annoying people at any social gathering it seems though. Some of the guys lurking around came with a female but somehow misplaced her also. Some of the females can be a bit obnoxious too btw...lol.

Lisa, just use your instincts. The guys we hang with don't instantly jump into what kinds of sex they like or don't like. We prefer guys that just talk to us like we are at a bar. We look for chemistry not preferences of sexual positions etc. If a man is genuinely a gentleman in all respects he will usually be considerate in bed also. We do however want to know his marital status and will verify it. Don't give us a pager number, we want your home phone number. We do not do married men that cheat.

It is actually rare to find the right guy for us online or in a club. We go very slowly. So many guys cling onto us like if we get out of there sight they will lose an opportunity. This is a huge mistake if they want to appeal to us.

You need to decide what your own limitations, likes and dislikes are and how far you will bend the rules if you bend them. We btw have had some nice threesomes with married men that have the wifes approval but of course we ask the wife right there at the club first.

Some guys bring escorts to clubs also. These are usually easy to spot if you look for it. They have no natural chemistry with each other and cannot talk about thier personal lives much when pressed for details. Of course these men would be likely candidates for disease etc.

I was a single at a club for a few years. I did ok by just mingling with a lot of couples and waiting patiently for invitations. I would flirt openly with the wife but not disrespectfully. If we danced and she wanted to dirty dance fine but I would never initiate it for example.

I guess the word "interview" sounds rather like discussing a job option more than a simple sex fantasy fullfillment but we do ask them a lot of questions that have nothing to do with sex just to find out what type of person they are. If they are humorous, easy going, confident, cordial, honest and sincere that means a lot more than how horny they happen to be that night.

Enjoy the hunt as much as the kill...lol...J and T.

[MattLisa]

Thank you for the information. Of course we wouldn't rush into the "what do you like in bed" discussions, that would be a turn off here as well. I suppose interview wasn't a good word to use.

You seem to have some good experience at the clubs, so perhaps you wouldn't mind too much if I posed another question for you. If you aren't interested in someone (single or couple) how do you let them know?

Thanks for all the help! I'm really looking forward to visiting a club, but I'm very nervous about it and perhaps am overanalyzing it a bit.

[JustAskJulie]

From my experience, yes you will find single guys at clubs that do act as rude and pushy as they do online.

And yes, if you are accepting single males and having sex in a public room with them, you can expect other uninvited single males to try to jump in without asking.

My suggestion. Go and pick out the ones you want to play with, then find a private room to play. This way you can limit your fun to those you choose and keep others from trying to jump in on the fun.

[Flori_DAMAN]

They can indeed be pushy but in real life, but if you have any smarts you can shut them down. Tam has a knack for it anyhow. Although there has been an occasion or two where I put my two cents in also.

If you aren't interested in playing with anyone be very up front. Just say so. There is never a need for an explanation. You are talking about engaging in a very intimate thing so you have every right to just say no and leave it at that. If you cannot picture yourself doing that then a swing club may not be a good place to be for you! I am 100% serious here. No one should be at all afraid of saying NO to anyone when sex is concerned. John

[danc694u]

Originally posted by michigancouple:
<STRONG>Some of the females can be a bit obnoxious too btw...lol.</STRONG>

This could be a completely new topic LOL. We ran into this one at our last social.

First female, approached me. Was very aggresive, flatly stating what she wanted, and didn't mix ANY words while doing it. Thanks, but no thanks.

Second female, approached Maggie. That one too was very aggresive. So much so, it more or less disgusted her (Magg). She later commented about having a tongue stuck down her throat was not a good thing.

It's not just a single male issue any more. We're finding more and more females are taking the same approach. Admittly less than the men, thank god.

[Flori_DAMAN]

It is so damn scarey. Those little model types just clinging on to you. Grabbing your crotch. One in front, the other behind. Pulling off their little bit of clothing and rubbing there bare genetilia on your leg. Trying to grab your manhood with there long fingers. Relentlessly attempting to drag you to the big bed to engage in primal lust. Orgasms in their eyes. Wet facial lips that are looking for a place to leave moisture. Their nipples spring out like hard messengers with invitations to a body party. Legs that start in hell and end in heaven wrapping around your waist. I gotta go now.

[LIZA]

You guys are going to give all the couples and men who are desperate to find a single female swinger the wrong idea.......But at least it will be good for swing club's business!

[Barb]

My husband and I are ALWAYS looking for single males but never finding any who are well endowed and of course black males are prefered. We've talked to quite a few via E-Mail but everyone we've talked with thus far has turned out to be 100% phony :-( Oh well, we'll just keep looking.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by MattLisa:
<strong>I think my husband and myself are one of the rare couples activily seeking single males (at least from what I've seen hehehe).

Thanks for any assistance </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

[Barb]

Originally posted by MattLisa:
&gt; I think my husband and myself
&gt; are one of the rare couples
&gt; activily seeking single males
&gt; (at least from what I've seen
&gt; hehehe).
You're not alone. We too seek indivisual males but we do have some stiff criteria.


&gt; So far we have been speaking
&gt; to people over the net, but
&gt; would like to attend a on-premises
&gt; club at some point in the near
&gt; future. I'm wondering how most
&gt; single men at these events act?
I would suspect that you're not going to find to many "single" men. The clubs we've been to seem to discourage single men.


&gt; I've had a lot of wonderful
&gt; contact with some very nice
&gt; single men but have also had
&gt; more than my fair share of
&gt; the bozos that screw it up
&gt; for the nice guys.
Oh so true!!! All we've been able to find via the Net are 100% phony individuals.


&gt; In face to face contacts do
&gt; any single males really act
&gt; as rude and crude as they do
&gt; via email?
They certainly should not. Be up front with them and tell them exactly what you expect; if they like what they hear then you might have a good time.


&gt; Am I going to be swarmed if
&gt; guys see me not turning away
&gt; other singles?
We don't think so inasmuch as we indicated previously there are not that many single guys.


&gt; How can we keep activities
&gt; sane, such as if I/We invite
&gt; a few select males to play
&gt; with us and want to make sure
&gt; we don't get sexually swarmed
&gt; as well?
Not to worry, it simply won't happen in a club. If things even start to get out of hand the individual(s) causing the problem will or should be asked to leave.

Regards,

[d and K]

have to put in my two cents worth

1st single guys, regardless of how well endowed, how many ladies you have left panting and screaming "no more I cant take it", and ho hot you really think she is. GO SLOW!!if your yourself, funny, and sort of nice company to be around , you would be amazed at the repsonse no matter what your attributes are.

2nd couples, give the guys a break, some just need guidance and a littel leeway.

(was a single swinger, now a couple) so being on both sides of the fence, I have seen it both ways.

[JnMinPA]

We also seek out single guys primarily for fun. We have had couples occasionally. We have been going to "off premise" parties and talk to all the guys of interest to us. This way we get a good feel for them socially. She will generally dance with a few and this way has a chance to see (smell) how clean they might be. After socializing for a couple hours over drinks, we find that any traits that we dont like will usually come out in that time. If we like them, we go to our hotel room and enjoy or make arrangements for a meeting on another date. We've had good success with this method.