Why do so many ads say "No Single Males"

nwazscore · 12-12-2003, 11:13 AM

Hello! I'm new to this board, and my live-in bf and I are relatively new to swinging. We've been with two couples, same room swap and some bi-fem action and we've been with a single lady, and everything has gone well.

My question relates to the issue of single guys. So many I've seen on the swinger sites say absolutely no single guys. I'm guessing this might have to do with a guy cheating on his wife. What I wonder, though, is it ever okay to get together with a single guy? And how can you know that?

The reason I wonder is because a single man has contacted us on one of the swinger sites we're on and wants to get together. I usually try to get a little more information first, and so we've emailed back and forth and he's sent a couple of pics, and he seems like a nice guy.

My bf is up for it. He feels that "he's had his fun with two women" so why couldn't I have my fun with two men?

So what are your thoughts on this?

hmr · 12-12-2003, 12:21 PM

Good question! Everyone's answer will probably be different. Personally, I don't exclude single guys, I just don't accept mail from them.

The reasons vary from filtering out the site trawlers, to just using my own descretion and instincts. We received over 100 responses to our profile in 48 hrs, on one site, 75% of them were single men.

We couldn't keep up with the email, much less take time to read all the profiles or answer them all.

Now, I don't doubt that there are some single guys that are in this lifestyle with the same mindset as we have. I've met them. But, I also know there are some out there who are just trawling the sites looking for notches on their bed posts!

I've met them also.

There is no reason for you not to have your fun also, if you are both in agreement, and you are comfortable with this guy. Just take time to talk face to face. Make sure you are allcomfortable with one another, and your rules and limits are well established!!! Make sure you are in this for the same reasons. To share yourselves as swingers is fantastic. To be used by a notcher is devastating!

mrs hmr

NorCal Nites · 12-12-2003, 03:59 PM

In some instances, I have to agree with the sites not allowing the single men. It's not that single men are absolutely just NOT welcomed... but for every 100 single men on the site, 98 of them are JUST looking for a one night stand... or even looking for a girlfriend, not a friendship, not swinging, and could care less if you're married, coupled, or otherwise, as long as they are getting off.

Heck. I'd like to meet a nice single guy interested in SWINGING, and not notching the bedpost, finally getting some after 5 years, or trying to come between myself and my husband, thinking that he's going to get a girlfriend out of it.

jcbicouple · 12-12-2003, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nwazscore

My bf is up for it. He feels that "he's had his fun with two women" so why couldn't I have my fun with two men?

So what are your thoughts on this?

We say go for it! If he is truly single (not married and cheating), and you all seem compatible, there is absolutley no reason for you not to explore this. We have enjoyed the meetings we've had with single males, as much or more so than with couples or single women. As far as "notches on the bed post" again: It's all in what you are looking for! If you want a one night stand to "try it out" Go for it! If you want a "friend first" then go for that. Point is: Do what you and your SO want, not what anyone on here tells you is "acceptable" swinging. LOL! We personally like one night stands. Tends to be a lot of fun and very erotic to have sex with a stranger. We actually aren't interested in having sex with our day time friends.

mrbandsatl · 12-12-2003, 05:51 PM

We are all for single guys... She loves the attention of two men and I love to watch so for us, it's a win-win arrangement. The big issue for us is approach and respect. But when it's all good, it's very, very good!

B+S

lcjtsd · 12-12-2003, 06:01 PM

Personally, wife and I find that finding couples to play with is not that easy. You're looking at four people who have to feel comfortable with each other.

As for single guys, we're not looking to find someone to have BBQ's and weekend trips with. We have had great success finding single men. We have found two single guys we get with fairly regularly and have a great time. We're not opposed to the occasional one night stand either as it does add to the excitement to be with someone you just met.

What if he was married? I think that if we were out of town and things just happened, we probably would. We're in this for us and what we are looking for. Yes, it is a personal preference.

Still looking for that elusive couple though.

shoreguy · 12-13-2003, 01:13 AM

That "elusive couple". That's a new one.

Not actually counting, but it seems like our average is 25% of couples that we get to seriously talking to online we end up going further with. The rest, something goes wrong. We figure that seems right, with getting 4 people to be comfortable, etc.

So far we've met 1 single guy we both thought was acceptable, but have not chosen to go further with.... yet.

I think if you're both comfortable with the idea of another couple, that it's not too difficult to make a connection. It won't happen with everyone, but it will happen.

**TNT** · 12-13-2003, 10:20 AM

nwazscore,

Welcome to the board.

As some of the others stated, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a single man (MFM) and there are numerous couples who enjoy this, also numerous couples who do not.

Take a few minutes (actually will probably need days,

) and read over some of the other posts/threads in the "Swinging Single" section of this site. It is full of information on single men.

Good luck and enjoy,

Teresa

froggyjenn80 · 12-14-2003, 03:38 PM

This topic has come up often in my yahoo groups. Why do most say no single men. Well majority of the answers have been that 90% of swingers have a bisexual female, and a straight male. Having a MFM only gives one of the couple pleasure for the male half doesnt get to swap or whatnot. Yes there are positions where you can involve both men at the same time. But not all women are up for that.

I personally would like to do a MFM just so that I can have all the attention...but I can also get that from a FMF, so because that gives my husband pleasure as well...I am more willing to do that.

A lot of the couples say they already have a man, so having another isnt needed unless with a couple where both can enjoy. Most men enjoy watching two women together, so the FMF is the better choice.

Well there is my thoughts, and the thoughts given from my yahoo group..hope that helps
Jenn

geeman · 12-14-2003, 11:46 PM

If your're up for it and you're bf is up for it, go for it. Our problem isn't being with single guys, as we have been with single guys as much as with couples. The problem is how many of the single guys act. In our experience, abut 80% of the single guys we have met don't act appropriately in the swinging community (some would say more) - the other 20% are fine and know how to conduct themselves. So if the guy seems okay to you, definitely go for it.

Kain · 12-15-2003, 12:57 AM

is a single guy supposed to act? From my experience single women, single men, and couples all have the same agenda and that would be just to fuck. I don't understand it; if your attracted to somebody "whether it be physical or mental" and they feel the same. Than what's wrong with going and fucking their brains out. What's the dig deal? Is not that what it's all about...SEX!?

yawanna · 12-15-2003, 01:15 AM

You make us sound like dogs in heat

Kain · 12-15-2003, 02:09 AM

is SEX not the soul purpose of getting together? SEX,SEX,SEX, and more SEX; that's the swingers way.

The point I was trying to make is this; single guys are in it for the same reason single girls are in it for, and that would be sex.

The couples that get together with other couples are in it for; wait...give me a second SEX,SEX, and more SEX.

We all are in it for the same reason...SEX.

People can say that they like to meet other people and that they do, but it is to have SEX.

I am sorry I have to point out the obvious, but if I didn't than who would.

Kain

NorCal Nites · 12-15-2003, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kain
is SEX not the soul purpose of getting together? SEX,SEX,SEX, and more SEX; that's the swingers way.

The point I was trying to make is this; single guys are in it for the same reason single girls are in it for, and that would be sex.

The couples that get together with other couples are in it for; wait...give me a second SEX,SEX, and more SEX.

We all are in it for the same reason...SEX.

People can say that they like to meet other people and that they do, but it is to have SEX.

I am sorry I have to point out the obvious, but if I didn't than who would.

Kain

Did someone say SEX?

geeman · 12-15-2003, 10:41 AM

Yup it's about SEX, and like you say you must be attracted (mentally or physically) to the person to have it.

How a person acts is part of the attraction. We are not attracted to a single guy standing there and beating off while watching the activities at a club. We are not attracted to single guys who start their emails with "I want to stick my 7" dick in your hot pussy" or the likes. We are not attracted to single guys who make no attempt to converse or even introduce themselves, but once we get passionate, want to watch or join in.

Other than that we have no problems with single guys, and have included them in our SEX.

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12-12-2003, 11:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
nwazscore Active Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 17 Location: Kingman, AZ Status: Couple	Why do so many ads say "No Single Males" Hello! I'm new to this board, and my live-in bf and I are relatively new to swinging. We've been with two couples, same room swap and some bi-fem action and we've been with a single lady, and everything has gone well. My question relates to the issue of single guys. So many I've seen on the swinger sites say absolutely no single guys. I'm guessing this might have to do with a guy cheating on his wife. What I wonder, though, is it ever okay to get together with a single guy? And how can you know that? The reason I wonder is because a single man has contacted us on one of the swinger sites we're on and wants to get together. I usually try to get a little more information first, and so we've emailed back and forth and he's sent a couple of pics, and he seems like a nice guy. My bf is up for it. He feels that "he's had his fun with two women" so why couldn't I have my fun with two men? So what are your thoughts on this?

12-12-2003, 12:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
hmr hmr Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 421 Location: Roanoke,VA Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:hmr	Good question! Everyone's answer will probably be different. Personally, I don't exclude single guys, I just don't accept mail from them. The reasons vary from filtering out the site trawlers, to just using my own descretion and instincts. We received over 100 responses to our profile in 48 hrs, on one site, 75% of them were single men. We couldn't keep up with the email, much less take time to read all the profiles or answer them all. Now, I don't doubt that there are some single guys that are in this lifestyle with the same mindset as we have. I've met them. But, I also know there are some out there who are just trawling the sites looking for notches on their bed posts! I've met them also. There is no reason for you not to have your fun also, if you are both in agreement, and you are comfortable with this guy. Just take time to talk face to face. Make sure you are allcomfortable with one another, and your rules and limits are well established!!! Make sure you are in this for the same reasons. To share yourselves as swingers is fantastic. To be used by a notcher is devastating! mrs hmr
	__________________ hmr

12-12-2003, 03:59 PM	#3 (permalink)
NorCal Nites Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 213 Location: Redding, CA Status: Couple	In some instances, I have to agree with the sites not allowing the single men. It's not that single men are absolutely just NOT welcomed... but for every 100 single men on the site, 98 of them are JUST looking for a one night stand... or even looking for a girlfriend, not a friendship, not swinging, and could care less if you're married, coupled, or otherwise, as long as they are getting off. Heck. I'd like to meet a nice single guy interested in SWINGING, and not notching the bedpost, finally getting some after 5 years, or trying to come between myself and my husband, thinking that he's going to get a girlfriend out of it.
	__________________ ************************ Sonya and Larren Management @ NorCalNites.com

12-13-2003, 01:13 AM	#7 (permalink)
shoreguy Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 66 Location: Coastal NJ Status: Married Male	That "elusive couple". That's a new one. Not actually counting, but it seems like our average is 25% of couples that we get to seriously talking to online we end up going further with. The rest, something goes wrong. We figure that seems right, with getting 4 people to be comfortable, etc. So far we've met 1 single guy we both thought was acceptable, but have not chosen to go further with.... yet. I think if you're both comfortable with the idea of another couple, that it's not too difficult to make a connection. It won't happen with everyone, but it will happen.
	__________________ Do not feed the trolls.

12-12-2003, 05:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
mrbandsatl For fun and each other... Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 248 Location: USA Status: Couple	We are all for single guys... She loves the attention of two men and I love to watch so for us, it's a win-win arrangement. The big issue for us is approach and respect. But when it's all good, it's very, very good! B+S

12-12-2003, 06:01 PM	#6 (permalink)
lcjtsd Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 125 Location: NO LONGER PARTICIPATING!!! Status: Couple	Personally, wife and I find that finding couples to play with is not that easy. You're looking at four people who have to feel comfortable with each other. As for single guys, we're not looking to find someone to have BBQ's and weekend trips with. We have had great success finding single men. We have found two single guys we get with fairly regularly and have a great time. We're not opposed to the occasional one night stand either as it does add to the excitement to be with someone you just met. What if he was married? I think that if we were out of town and things just happened, we probably would. We're in this for us and what we are looking for. Yes, it is a personal preference. Still looking for that elusive couple though.

12-13-2003, 10:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 5,003 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:tblonde312	nwazscore, Welcome to the board. As some of the others stated, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a single man (MFM) and there are numerous couples who enjoy this, also numerous couples who do not. Take a few minutes (actually will probably need days, ) and read over some of the other posts/threads in the "Swinging Single" section of this site. It is full of information on single men. Good luck and enjoy, Teresa
	__________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

12-14-2003, 03:38 PM	#9 (permalink)
froggyjenn80 Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 81 Location: California Status: Married Female	This topic has come up often in my yahoo groups. Why do most say no single men. Well majority of the answers have been that 90% of swingers have a bisexual female, and a straight male. Having a MFM only gives one of the couple pleasure for the male half doesnt get to swap or whatnot. Yes there are positions where you can involve both men at the same time. But not all women are up for that. I personally would like to do a MFM just so that I can have all the attention...but I can also get that from a FMF, so because that gives my husband pleasure as well...I am more willing to do that. A lot of the couples say they already have a man, so having another isnt needed unless with a couple where both can enjoy. Most men enjoy watching two women together, so the FMF is the better choice. Well there is my thoughts, and the thoughts given from my yahoo group..hope that helps Jenn
	__________________ If you think you are perfect, try walking on water!

12-14-2003, 11:46 PM	#10 (permalink)
geeman Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 52 Location: Texas/Ohio Status: Male half of couple	If your're up for it and you're bf is up for it, go for it. Our problem isn't being with single guys, as we have been with single guys as much as with couples. The problem is how many of the single guys act. In our experience, abut 80% of the single guys we have met don't act appropriately in the swinging community (some would say more) - the other 20% are fine and know how to conduct themselves. So if the guy seems okay to you, definitely go for it.

12-15-2003, 12:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
Kain Active Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 26 Location: Indiana Status: Single male	How... is a single guy supposed to act? From my experience single women, single men, and couples all have the same agenda and that would be just to fuck. I don't understand it; if your attracted to somebody "whether it be physical or mental" and they feel the same. Than what's wrong with going and fucking their brains out. What's the dig deal? Is not that what it's all about...SEX!?

12-15-2003, 01:15 AM	#12 (permalink)
yawanna Has Left the Building Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,176 Location: Canada Status: married female	You make us sound like dogs in heat

12-15-2003, 02:09 AM	#13 (permalink)
Kain Active Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 26 Location: Indiana Status: Single male	But Yawanna is SEX not the soul purpose of getting together? SEX,SEX,SEX, and more SEX; that's the swingers way. The point I was trying to make is this; single guys are in it for the same reason single girls are in it for, and that would be sex. The couples that get together with other couples are in it for; wait...give me a second SEX,SEX, and more SEX. We all are in it for the same reason...SEX. People can say that they like to meet other people and that they do, but it is to have SEX. I am sorry I have to point out the obvious, but if I didn't than who would. Kain

12-15-2003, 10:41 AM	#15 (permalink)
geeman Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 52 Location: Texas/Ohio Status: Male half of couple	Yup it's about SEX, and like you say you must be attracted (mentally or physically) to the person to have it. How a person acts is part of the attraction. We are not attracted to a single guy standing there and beating off while watching the activities at a club. We are not attracted to single guys who start their emails with "I want to stick my 7" dick in your hot pussy" or the likes. We are not attracted to single guys who make no attempt to converse or even introduce themselves, but once we get passionate, want to watch or join in. Other than that we have no problems with single guys, and have included them in our SEX.

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