SBM first time at club

***JustAskJulie*** · 01-07-2002, 02:20 PM

This is an email that I recieved recently. In my response to him I directed him here to read what has been posted as well as to the FAQ's area where you guys have added to the Rules for Single Males. But I thought that I'd post it here just in case you had anything new to add.
----------- I'm a sbm, 26yrs old. I've recently been interested in going to a
swingers club. I've read mixed reviews of such clubs. As a single male, how
should I approach such a club. Should I just go and hang out and let females
approach me or should I be the aggresive one. Also, I haven't read too many
stories of african-american men in swinger clubs. I know that alot of white
women have fantacies about having sex with black men, so I think I would have
a good chance of hooking up. Also I'm well-hung, this has got to be a plus.
What do you think.

Flori_DAMAN · 01-09-2002, 04:42 PM

I would go to a club. As far as "hanging out and lettng them approach you or being aggressive", maybe just be yourself. Introduce yourself but don't be aggresive at all. Just let them know you are a friendly person and chit chat a bit to see where the conversation goes. Sometimes it takes a few visits to gain confidence at a club also. John

NittanyLion · 05-25-2002, 03:36 AM

Of course, know the ground rules of the club. One club I've seen online (haven't visited as of yet) states on their website that single males are never to approach the couples, that if they are interested they will approach the men. That seems a bit harsh, but they are trying to appeal to their coupled clients. If the club has no problem with single guys introducing themselves I say go for it, but use common sense and show respect, politeness and maturity, even if the answer is no.

anandjeff2 · 05-29-2002, 11:26 AM

Having never been to a club an d not knowing the setups I htink as a single male you be polite and courteous.If here is a general area where you can sit and have a drink, I suggest you wander in an area of interest like the dance floor or the Dj that sort of thing..kinda stand around with your drink in hand and look around like you want to find a place to sit then just walk up and indicate an empty seat and ask if they mind if you sit down? Intro yourself and then focus on the goings on..don't push and dont stare at them just kinda act like youre watching the dancers ..see if they strike up a conversation..who knows?

An

05-31-2002, 11:20 AM

Your decision whether to hang-back or be forward depends on how you *usually* act at a bar.

Swinger's clubs are filled with people meeting other people, they are just like regular bars.
If you would not be successful at a real bar, you will not be successful at a swinger's club.

You are going to be really dissapointed if you think it is any different. If you can't walk up to a woman and say "wanna fuck" at the regular bar, you can't do it at a swinger's club. (Some guys can, but don't, and that's different but another posting).

The people at a swinger's club also go to the regular bars . . . and they are just as picky as they are at the real bar (which sometimes is not that picky, if you've ever been around at closing time, you know what I mean.)

I went to swinger's clubs for a few years as a single, and my hit percentage was about the same as at a regular bar. It's just when you succeed at the swinger's club you will get sex for sure, at the regular bar you may only get a number (which may only lead to sexless friendship -- fuck that).

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01-07-2002, 02:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,268 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	SBM first time at club This is an email that I recieved recently. In my response to him I directed him here to read what has been posted as well as to the FAQ's area where you guys have added to the Rules for Single Males. But I thought that I'd post it here just in case you had anything new to add. ----------- I'm a sbm, 26yrs old. I've recently been interested in going to a swingers club. I've read mixed reviews of such clubs. As a single male, how should I approach such a club. Should I just go and hang out and let females approach me or should I be the aggresive one. Also, I haven't read too many stories of african-american men in swinger clubs. I know that alot of white women have fantacies about having sex with black men, so I think I would have a good chance of hooking up. Also I'm well-hung, this has got to be a plus. What do you think. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

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01-09-2002, 04:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Flori_DAMAN Previously of MichiganCouple Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,100 Location: Vero Beach Florida Status: Single Male	I would go to a club. As far as "hanging out and lettng them approach you or being aggressive", maybe just be yourself. Introduce yourself but don't be aggresive at all. Just let them know you are a friendly person and chit chat a bit to see where the conversation goes. Sometimes it takes a few visits to gain confidence at a club also. John

05-25-2002, 03:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
NittanyLion Active Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 14 Location: Williamsport, Pa	Of course, know the ground rules of the club. One club I've seen online (haven't visited as of yet) states on their website that single males are never to approach the couples, that if they are interested they will approach the men. That seems a bit harsh, but they are trying to appeal to their coupled clients. If the club has no problem with single guys introducing themselves I say go for it, but use common sense and show respect, politeness and maturity, even if the answer is no.

05-29-2002, 11:26 AM	#4 (permalink)
anandjeff2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 121 Location: Western NY,USA	Having never been to a club an d not knowing the setups I htink as a single male you be polite and courteous.If here is a general area where you can sit and have a drink, I suggest you wander in an area of interest like the dance floor or the Dj that sort of thing..kinda stand around with your drink in hand and look around like you want to find a place to sit then just walk up and indicate an empty seat and ask if they mind if you sit down? Intro yourself and then focus on the goings on..don't push and dont stare at them just kinda act like youre watching the dancers ..see if they strike up a conversation..who knows? An

05-31-2002, 11:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
<JonnyB> Posts: n/a	Your decision whether to hang-back or be forward depends on how you usually act at a bar. Swinger's clubs are filled with people meeting other people, they are just like regular bars. If you would not be successful at a real bar, you will not be successful at a swinger's club. You are going to be really dissapointed if you think it is any different. If you can't walk up to a woman and say "wanna fuck" at the regular bar, you can't do it at a swinger's club. (Some guys can, but don't, and that's different but another posting). The people at a swinger's club also go to the regular bars . . . and they are just as picky as they are at the real bar (which sometimes is not that picky, if you've ever been around at closing time, you know what I mean.) I went to swinger's clubs for a few years as a single, and my hit percentage was about the same as at a regular bar. It's just when you succeed at the swinger's club you will get sex for sure, at the regular bar you may only get a number (which may only lead to sexless friendship -- fuck that).