Love playing with single males

[Colleen]

I personally LUV single men. I am married and have been so for over 5 years. We have been swinging for 3 years. And we swing together with other couples or singles but we also swing alone. No beefs here at times it almost is a game between the two of us to see whom can have more fun and tell each other about it But i personally prefer the single males the one problem i run into is the fact i won't mess around with a married male alone. But i will play with a married male if his wife knows everything and is open to it and willing to tell me so herself. But i run into that occasional man that lies about his relationship status. But what i love is the ones that get mad that i am married but i won't play with a married male. Anyone else run into this problem.

[danc694u]

Unfortunatley, we have.

We call them cheaters.

We also know a couple where the man is allowed to play. But, the wife isn't. She allows it. He doesn't.

But, he's such a dickhead about it. We won't play with him. :p

[Colleen]

I call them cheaters also and ohh do they get pissed off. Then they write me back and ask me well how do i get off calling them cheaters when i am married. And i flat out tell them that there is no sneaking going on or anything else. And that i prefer single males due to the fact i like to go out and have fun and that i don't want to have some wild women that i don't know about jumping out of the bushes at me for messing around with her husband.

[martin]

please help me figure this out, because my wife dosent enjoy this type of activity and it might hurt her feelings that i do, im not allowed to enjoy swinging without her permission? im not looking to fall in love with anyone else i just like a different type of sexual activity than she does. i wouldnt tell my wife because she would suspect every time im out the door that im screwing someone else, and that kind of tension is not needed in any relationship. i love my wife but she WILL not swing even though she is very bi. she has a girl friend that she WILL NOT share, and im sure she would not like to find that i have sex with other people. how do i win. i like to swing she dosent, if she knew she would be hurt, yet i am supposed to sit at home happily while shes off with her girl friend. she comes home ready for sex with me and i enjoy the fantasy of the 2 of them...how is what she is doing different from me going with someone else other than i know her friend, and she doesnt know any of mine. i think some of the cheating is a double standard....m

[martin]

by the way i dont generally do single woman for the obvious entanglements they can have, married woman however are fine as long as its understood that this is for fun and not romance. ok now your turn .......lol...m

[danc694u]

Originally posted by martin:
...how is what she is doing different from me going with someone else other than i know her friend, and she doesnt know any of mine. i think some of the cheating is a double standard....m

LMMFAO...cheating would imply that one party or the other. Does not know about it.

What you allow her to do, is considered okay in your book. However, I don't know many couples that can maintain that type of relationship. One Sided.....

By your own admisssion, you've stated that you "allow" her to persue this activity. She however, doesn't allow you the same privileges.

YOU cheat without her knowledge. She's allowed to play, with yours.

Swinging for the most part is based on couples that consent, and have caring/loving relationships with EACH OTHER FIRST.

Just from your post. It seems that neither of you really care what the other wants. It's all about me...me...me...me

[martin]

im sorry for the tone my post may have taken. i dont allow my wife to do anything anymore than she would not allow me to do something , its just the way it is . we love each other very much but just enjoy different things. her enjoyment of another woman adds to our plesure when she comes home. my point was that im not looking out side the relationship for something i can find in it , but for something i cant have as my wife is not interested in swinging . we have had 3somes with women before and they have been fun but i prefer to do mwm and my wife prefers to enjoy her ww alone. telling her or having to get her permission to do something she is not up for seems a little odd. her being bi is not something i allow her to do, it just is. i chose not to tell her if i swing because i do care for her feelings and i know she would not approve of me swinging. i know it sounds weird and im not sure if you can understand or if i can explain it in a way that makes any sense. if she was into it i would love to have another man with us, but she is not. another woman is ok but a rare thing, mores the pity. if there was another way for us to both be involved id jump at the chance, but as yet we havent figured it out. i havent given up though , she is a very surprising woman and who knows she may surprise me yet again. but for the time being id like to play on my own from time to time. your opinion is valued and if you can explane further id be interested.

[danc694u]

Explain what?? Now I'm confused ?!?!?!?!?

If all cards were on the table at the beginning, you stepped into the relationship knowingly.

You however, have not laid all your cards on the table for her to see. Despite the fact you allow her to play. You've deceived her by not discussing this (your swinging) prior to the relationship evolving into marriage.
You're still deceiving her, by hiding this fact.

Somewhere, you lost the definition of swinging. 2 people hooking up for sex isn't swinging. It's sport fucking...nothing more.

We've never been to a "singles" swing club. They're all based on, and geared toward couples. Those couples, sometimes invite singles to join in. What you've described (playing with married women without their husbands) is not swinging, but cheating.

Another point, that may or may not apply here. We're all very aware of the married lesbian! Where FMF or FF is fine. As long as the M is hubby. There is no room for ANY other male. Hence, you may or may not ever have a MFM situation.

We personally know 2 married lesbians. And, they piss us both off everytime, with their bulls***.

David -- the anal half

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by martin:
telling her or having to get her permission to do something she is not up for seems a little odd. ....i chose not to tell her if i swing because i do care for her feelings and i know she would not approve of me swinging.

However, you want to try to explain it, you are cheating. You can try to use the excuse that you don't tell her to keep from hurting her feelings.. but hey isn't that the same excuse that all cheaters use?

[Colleen]

ok now it doesn't really matter now martin because if she doesn't allow you and you do it it is cheating. Now if you do it and don't tell her guess what it is still cheating. and if you do it to spare her fealings then guess what it is still cheating. And if she goes about her business with no regards to your fealings then she is cheating as well and i must ask this question. Why are you two married? Yes my husband play alone and we play together with others but we would never do anything that was going to hurt the other.

[martin]

ok i think i get it. some times it takes a different view to get through this thick head. i guess what im going to have to do is either interest the wife in the joys of swinging or go without. ive never considered her play time as cheating, but i have a different veiw of sex than most i guess. one small point though , to suggest that, because my wife is not interested in sex with other men, that she may be a "married lesbian" is at best, a bit of a stretch.i dont really find an interest in single women,(as in mf) but my interest IS in mfm , im sure, does not make me a"married homosexual", or at least i hope not. not that bi/gay men worry me, just not my cup of tea thank you. i will however have to rethink my position on sex without her permission/accompaniment. i had not considered that it was so universally regarded as cheating ,but that is why thinking people ask questions , and thankfully answer them as well. i will continue to read this forum , as the insight you have provided has maybe stopped me from making a mistake i would in the future regret. mean while i will go and sooth my flamed bits, and once again thanks for the insight.

[danc694u]

Originally posted by martin:
i had not considered that it was so universally regarded as cheating ,but that is why thinking people ask questions , and thankfully answer them as well.

PC thinking courtesy of Bill Clinton

[martin]

i have been flamed for being a new bie and for asking what i though was an acceptable question and received a bunch of comments which were gratefully received as useful in possibly changing my mind on not asking/telling my wife what i had in mind so we could talk like adults do. but to even suggest that im in any way shape or form in the same species with the slime from arkansas is more than i can take . i simply asked a question , people who dont know a answer to a question ask for an answer. being a cheater was the furthest thing from my mind . and having been shown the error of my way of thinking (thanks to all who pointed it out) maybe i can start this idea over again . i have not done anything outside of my marriage, i was thinking i might, but was put straight on this subject pretty quick by several of you .thanks it provides stuff to think about . as for being p.c. im not sure i could be after all im white, straight, right leaning, and to top it all off im a proffessional gunsmith. i dont think i could be any more politically incorrect if i tried. thanks again.....martin