Single males not welcome?

[kameraman69]

I have a question concerning us single males--why do most clubs say we're not welcome, yet accept single women? I understand that couples are ideal, but sometimes single guys want to join in the fun. Is there some place where we're welcome?

[yawanna]

yes.... every bar in the free world

[Elusive BiFem]

This subject has been repeatedly discussed and debated on this board.

If you look at the top of your screen, you will find the "Search" button. When you get to the search screen, just type in single males and it will take you to pages and pages of threads on this very subject. Read some of the various threads, and then, if you have specific questions, feel free to post them. It isn't that we mind answering...we've just done it so many times before!

In the meantime...Welcome to the board. You may also want to look through the forum for Swinging Single's, too. And post an intro? That will help us get to know you a bit better.

Enjoy and have fun!

- EBF

[EternallySingle]

If you want go to swing clubs the easiest thing to do is become half of a couple, preferably with a single woman also into swinging. Doing so is easy. Just spend four to five hundred dollars a month joining every swinger site that has over 50 women in your area. Be sure to read each profile 3 or 4 times looking for clues that some of these women would be interested in meeting you. Write everyone of them a letter saying how you were impressed by something they said in their profile and mention something about yourself that is relevant. Pay special attention to women who are on multiple sites and don't send them multiple emails from different sites, only the most expensive site they are listed on (don't know why that is, but you get more responses from real women the more expensive the site is ) Then sit back and wait.

Using this approach, you will send out 200 to 300 emails a month. It will take you 6 or 7 hours a day to compose them all and you may have to wait 3 or 4 weeks to get a reply to the first email. You will probably get 8 or 10 replies, but you wiill get some. After weeding through those replies, look for the ones where the women don't go straight into talking about sex. They are not really women, but gay men and 14-16 year old girls who used their mother's credit card to join a site where they can send pictures of themselves to various men and satisfy some teenage fantasy (BEEN THERE...ITS NOT PRETTY!)

Finally, after 3 or 4 emails, you should have narrowed your search down to 3 or 4 women who sound like they want to meet (after spending over 2 to 3 thousand dollars because the sites constantly get new women and you have to email them also to see if one of them is more compatible with you than the others you have written) and now you take the big step. You say you want to talk to them and send them your telephone number. Not your home or work phone number, but go to Wal-Mart and get a pre-paid cellphone. By having your phone number you tell her one of two things....either you are extremely lonely and willing to spend hundreds of dollars just to meet someone or you are really sincere and actually want to meet someone with the same interests and you trust her enough to give her personal information (or maybe both).

Or, you can keep swinging in the back of your mind and just do the regular dating thing until you find a woman in real life who lets it slip that she's always been interested in other women or having multiple partners. Then you can tell her about this club you heard of (and if she's into either of those two things she's heard of that same club) and you can go together after working out what each of you expect, want, and fear from going there.

Finally, if you JUST HAVE to go to a swing club, find one that is near some old friends or relatives that will admit single males. Being near a friend or relative's home will save you hotel/motel fees and give you something to do so you will not have wasted money on plane fare, cab fare, hotels, and meals when you don't hook up with anyone (which you probably won't on a first or second visit) or some jealous doorman who spotted a woman he wants to pick up after they shut the doors decides not to let anymore single men into the club. That has happened to me at the only two clubs nearby. One woman even wrote about it on either this site or another. I forget...given up the club scene and don't look at the listings anymore. Call the club, tell them you are going to be in town for the weekend and want to hang out somewhere with some "mature, non-judgemental, fun people where you can talk and get to know everyone on a personal level" and you have a 30% chance of getting an invitation. Believe me, thats way better than your chances of meeting a woman at a regular bar, even on ladie's night after all the women have gotten drunk and horny after the male stripper's finished their "show".

One other thing. I'm in a very sarcastic mood today. Just woke up that way. The real reason single males are not welcome at most clubs is that most couples and single women who swing with single males already have one or two they swing with almost exclusively and they go to the clubs to meet other couples and single women, not men, since they can talk 3 out of 5 single men to participate in almost any sexual activity just by saying, "how would like to try..." That makes it too easy to find men for a one night fling, and picking up a guy at a bar, even a swing club, would amount to only that.

[domeguy]

That was an awesome last post and definitely sums up the online experience, as I have observed.

[NorCal Nites]

The following is the reason that "single" males are quite often not welcome in groups:

After posting our ad on several swinger's sites, I get this message while still in bed the following morning. Please note the auto-response message that came up before I was able to reply and the following short conversation that ensued once I awoke.

Please also note that our profiles all read: "Looking for couples and select single women" All state that we HATE cheaters. All also state that single and married "single" men are not welcome. All also state that we swing together, and if only a single female is involved, both parties will play... and that I was a bit cranky from closing about 40 messages from SINGLE MEN with lines like "Those things are HUGE!" "Damn baby, I'm near Redding, come visit me" and "Wanna Fuck!?"



computerguy_97: is Redding is so cal or no cal?
*** Auto-response sent to computerguy_97: I've gone shopping... YES, again, so stop chastising me for it!

Anyhoo... if you're a single guy that I don't already know, don't piss and moan that I never respond to you. I don't want you... get over it!
hunnysweetie: if you're a single guy, it wouldn't matter either way.
hunnysweetie: Redding is in far Northern California, about 2.5 hrs from the Oregon Border.
computerguy_97: wished it was closer
hunnysweetie: if you're a single guy, it wouldn't matter either way.
computerguy_97: i am married of course
hunnysweetie: cheating or swinging?
computerguy_97: swinging alone
hunnysweetie: ah, Cheating.
computerguy_97: so $%#$%#$@ judgemental
hunnysweetie: there's no such thing as "swinging alone" unless wifey is "swinging alone" in another part of a house or elsewhere doing the same thing you are.
computerguy_97: why debate that eh?
hunnysweetie: Nope... not judgemental, just know the lifestyle.
computerguy_97: well let me explain what i do
computerguy_97: i service hot women who love big black cock
hunnysweetie: without the wife knowing, of course...
computerguy_97: call it cheatign swinging
computerguy_97: dosent matter to me



Yep... figures. Of COURSE it doesn't matter WHO he's fucking or why... as long as he's getting off! I SO agree with him!!! NOT!!! Try reading the BOLD print in my profile, dude... also, try some TACT... and maybe try TELLING THE WIFE THAT YOU'RE CHEATING!

Some people just don't get it, and unfortunately, they make up the majority of "single" men on swinger sites making things MISERABLE for the true single men out there that swing (not bedpost-notch). That is why it's so widespread that single men are unwelcome on them.

[jcbicouple]

Well we've found that ALL mixtures of people fail to read profiles. SINGLE means SINGLE and CHEATERS ARE MORONS. That guy was a Cheater; not a "single" male, and frankly we get just as many couples that don't read the profile as we do single males (if not more). We are bi and clearly state that we aren't interested in straight people and yet for some reason, we get straight couples or couples where one person is straight contacting us on a regular basis.
In response to the original question: Don't know. There are many reasons we've heard of. Really it doesn't matter: There are several clubs out there that do accept single males openly. We would suggest seeking out one of those. Guess we are sort of in the same boat sinse most clubs do not accept male bisexuality: We only go to clubs that do.

[daindenver]

I laughed more today when I read your post EternallySingle than at anything else! Great Post! I find if you are honest and sincere you can find what you are looking for. If you are desperate and rich you can do what EternallySingle suggests !

Any ladies in Denver looking for a swinging "single male"??? Moved back from California a few months ago and am excited to have some fun again! Oh no now I have to wade through the hundreds (ok 1 or 2) emails coming my way! Enjoy your day all!

Dave