Best place for single male to start?

[Paul_in_MA]

I've been reading this board for a while now, and just want to thank everyone for all the great information posted here.

Where do you think is the best place to get a start for a single male? At a club, or with a couple?

I've answered many, many ads, and have yet to get a single response, so that does not seem to be working, although I understand that being a SM, that is to be expected. I'd rather my first experience be with a couple in a similar situation as me, just getting started, but so far I have had no luck in that area.

I've found 2 clubs in my area, but having never been to a club, I have no idea what to expect if attend one.

Any advice would be greatly appriciated!

[hgwells]

hello....let me try to answer in two parts.
1. if you start with a couple. you will be much better off and will find the experience more enjoyable...if you try to find a more seasoned couple. first they know what to expect and can help lead you through those difficult begining times. a new couple are busy trying to sort out there own feelings and actions....they really don't have time to help you with youres.
2. the clubs
they are just like any other social scene except they are there to either 1. find sexual partners for the evening or 2. develope a friendship with people who will hopefully become future sex partners. the same social rules apply here as anywhere else.
be respectfull, understand that these people for the most part are very liberated when it comes to there bodies. that just because a woman will were a very sexy negligee on the dance floor doesn't mean,IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, that she looking to get laid by every man in the room.
be youreself....unless youre an asshole..in which case..don't waste your money.

enjoy youre self....it can be a very entertaining experience just to be in a club.
you will definetly see things there that you will never see at a normal club( it isn't unusual for a man to get a blow job right on the dance floor...and most times it his wife whos giving it to him)
lastly...get out and mingle...in a nice way...remember you are not there to pick up chicks or get laid...first and formost you are there to meet people and develope at the very least a strong liking....and to both the wife and the husband. like most social settings...clubs can be very clickish...it may take you 3 or 4 visits before you become one of the regulars that everybody knows...by that time if you have done everything right and been the right kind of person......you will have more fun than you ever dreamed possiable.
Good luck

[JustAskJulie]

Paul,

I'd say your best chance is probably with a couple. You seem sincere and all I can see is keep looking.

If one of the clubs near you allows single males you might have ok luck there but I wouldn't really say it would get you into the lifestyle, unless you met a couple there that was willing to take you under their wing and show you around, introduce you to other couples, etc.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[Paul_in_MA]

Thanks for the feedback. I guess non of it really comes as a surprise to me. My best bet is to just keep on plugging away at it, and hope that I can get in touch with a couple, willing to show a new, single male "the ropes".

Thanks again.

[rbdot]

Paul in MA,
I'm also in Mass and looking to get started. Are you a biM or str8? I too am having no luck but imagine their are many guys looking to "hook up". I guess I want more. Also very sincere and healthy and believe I have much to offer. If you have any luck, let me know.
rbdot@yahoo.com

[JustAskJulie]

I've taken a lot of what I've posted here and in other areas about single guys in the lifestyle and put it together into one article that you can read in the swinger info area.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

[This message has been edited by JustAskJulie (edited 02-19-2001).]

[Lysander]

I kinda stumbled into it. I started dating a woman who was curious, and we just went with it. I broke up with her a few months ago, which is really a bummer, but I needed a break anyway.

My advice to you (because I'm a guy who's been there)... don't get into it if you're just a horn-dog. With the people I used to hang out with in Virginia, horn-dogs are a turn-off. You have to get to know people first. There are feelings involved here.

[This message has been edited by Lysander (edited 07-25-2001).]

[JustAskJulie]

Originally posted by Lysander:

My advice to you (because I'm a guy who's been there)... don't get into it if you're just a horn-dog. With the people I used to hang out with in Virginia, horn-dogs are a turn-off. You have to get to know people first. There are feelings involved here.

I don't think it has anything to do with being in Virginia.. Horndogs are pretty much a turn off to swingers everywhere. so if you are just wanting in cuz you think you'll get laid more.. go buy a hooker.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com