all single guys aren't jerks

niceguy · 08-29-2000, 09:42 AM

I am a single male and am 50 ish. I keep in shape, am respectful, and am a nice guy in general. There are a lot of us that DON't WANT TO BREAK UP MARRIAGES, or become "pests", and just likes the excitement and fun of being sexual with a female, or the female part of a couple. We are not out there to get a "piece of ass". just sharing fun.

------------------

***JustAskJulie*** · 08-29-2000, 02:52 PM

Very true. My husband and I do play with single guys and there are a lot of good ones out there, but there are also a lot of the other type as well. And even with the other type it's not so much that they are out to break up a marriage, but it is usually that they are (in my experience) extremely conceited and think that I should feel priveledged to have sex with them. Even when I was single I didn't like that type of guy, I'm not about to want him now.

If a guy understands what this lifestyle is about - sharing and exploring fantasies - then he can be a great assett to the lifestyle. Unfortunately, guys like you are in the minority and the other guys have given you a bad name. Don't give up and let them ruin it for you tho.

08-31-2000, 05:40 PM

When I think of a single guy, (something I used to be), the first thing that comes to mind is all the 'attitude' that men have. And not just the single ones. When a guy complains about not being picked, then too bad. Did you cry when you were picked last for the team too? I know, that sounds harsh. But if you want to be able to join in with a man and his wife, then you have to trash all the attitude.

Husband of CyberMWCouple

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-01-2000, 12:31 AM

Thank You CyberMWC ... awesome answer.

Sad thing is it's not just single guys that have this attitude.. couples do it too. Like just cuz we are swingers we should swing with everyone and anyone. This rule didn't apply when we were single and dating.. why does it suddenly apply now?

It's the same thing. You go out, you find someone you are attracted to and you get to know them then you take it to the next level. The only difference here is that you are involving more than just two people.. which makes it that much harder becuase now 2 people have to agree that they are attracted to a third (or a couple has to find a couple where the mutual attraction goes criss cross on both sides). It's not an easy task and there is really no reason that we should have to accept second best (someone that we really aren't into) just because.

09-02-2000, 09:53 PM

Good answer back@cha too, Julie! *VBS*

It's not an easy task, but we have fun along the way of "searching" too. *lol* There are days that we see it as a challenge, and then there are other days that we just don't want to be "searching", and that's okay too. Meeting and making new friends is always good too! *VBS*

Wife of CyberMWCouple

hgwells · 10-06-2000, 03:50 AM

nice guy...the one thing to remember is....if you truely are a nice guy....couples will seek you out. and it may be a harder task for you, but it also is a hard task for couples as well. the one thing about this lifestyle is that it does take some effort, and i believe more than most people put into a dating relationship.
please remember, the reason you find that single guys have one strike against them...and not always there fault..is because most just don't get it.
we went to a on premises club one night, that we had been going to for some time. there policy at this club was to admit single men at an extreemly higher rate( should have been the first sign of trouble)
we were having a great time, my wife and i were with another couple and one single guy earlier in the evening. we were sitting down having a drink...there were these two single guys who were talking..the jist of the conversation was they were real upset that they spent all that money...and didn't even get laid. i can tell you that was the last time we went to that club....and it took a while for my wife to get over that one comment!! it may seem trivial to a man....but ask any woman on here how they feel about that comment.

I also voice julies opinion....keep at it...good things will come around in there own time

***JustAskJulie*** · 10-06-2000, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hgwells:
the jist of the conversation was they were real upset that they spent all that money...and didn't even get laid. i can tell you that was the last time we went to that club....and it took a while for my wife to get over that one comment!! it may seem trivial to a man....but ask any woman on here how they feel about that comment.

Nothing like making a woman feel as tho she is a paid whore or there simply for some single guys pleasure. Those are guys who obviously have no clue what the lifestyle is about. And you are right exactly the kind of guys that are the reason most clubs don't allow single men at all. Personally, if a club allows single men they should be well screened and proportioned based on the number of couples that are there, not just randomly allowed into the club. Not only does that cause these sorts of problems but when you allow people into a swingers club who don't understand what swinging is about you ask for other problems.

A club I was going to was mostly couples but we did have a couple of single women who came. One in particular was a friend of the couple who ran the club. This woman after the socials was off at a bar one night telling guys she had met about the club and what went on who was there. That's the kind of thing you want to avoid at all costs and tends to be a problem that comes with allowing people in who are more into sex than swinging.

Julie http://www.swingersboard.com

watcherone · 10-08-2000, 02:46 AM

Of the three single guys my wife has had sex with, one was a jerk and the other two are still great friends and she would have them anytime they may want. The clue here iis in the "was a jerk', and the " are still...". The jerk is long gone but guys like you are a treat to both of us. If only they could all be like you. Dont change and dont be suprised if you become very popular with alot of couples.

10-08-2000, 01:29 PM

watcherone...That's cool! Thanks for sharing that with us! *VBS*

LIZA · 10-24-2000, 08:38 PM

Personally I am just not into single guys. Im sure some are nice enough guys, but the way they come across a lot of the time is pushy and unpleasant. We have placed ads for "couple with a bi female" and at least 5 or 6 guys just have to write and tell me why THEY are what I am looking for! I don't get it. But I will say that a SINGLE guy is not near as bad as the "married but I swing alone" cheating scum!

10-24-2000, 11:14 PM

LIZA...How are you "wording" your ad(s)? We've placed our 1st ad this past Jan., and not once have we had any single males respond to our ad(s) in such manner. There are a lot of nice single males out there, who unfortunately, are catching the rap for the few "jerks" that some talk about as you mention here.

We just have to weed out the "few", move on with the search, keep a positive attitude, enjoy ourselves and have fun with it! If anything, we've all gained new friends in the long run! *VBS*

Wife of CyberMWCouple

LIZA · 10-25-2000, 03:17 PM

Basically just say I am a married Bi female looking for another ATTACHED FEMALE....that I am into meeting with or without our husbands!

Don't think there is any way a single guy could read that as an invitation.

Maybe because I am in L.A. I am just getting more replys so more guys because just more people!

10-25-2000, 11:28 PM

You're in L.A., and you're wondering of all the single male responses?! I'M surprised! *lol* Not too sure of the population there in L.A., comparing to here. But, we do get responses from other states too, from those who travel up north here for camping trips and so on. As a matter of fact, we've been chatting with couples from California as well...*VBS*

As for the single males, "misunderstanding" your ad as an "invitation" to join 2 attached women for sexual pleasures, withOUT their husbands......Get where this is leading too?

Do you have added to your ad "Sorry, NO single males!", or something to that sort?! Most of the time, just that simple line helps too. *VBG*

Wife of CyberMWCouple

LIZA · 10-26-2000, 12:24 AM

Yes, it does say no Singles (male or female)

Hahah...gotta keep those determined single women away (i am kidding)

Plus I normally put ads on Yahoo in the category Women seeking Women

I do not see ANYTHING in my ad that is an invitation to single guys!

And even from my rather BITCHY posts here, I am getting email from married cheating men who think I would want to meet them! Go figure where THEY saw an invitation

I just think some guys who fancy themselves swingers think they are entitled and will try to get in ANYWHERE!

watcherone · 10-26-2000, 01:33 AM

I guess we have been lucky in who we have had join us. I can see that there are predators , male and female, that watch these types of boards and think it is easy pickings. If someone is truly into this lifestyle they wouldnt be anything but truthful to all the others. From all the posts I have read, I dont think I have seen anyone that doesnt appear to be true to the lifestyle.That doesnt mean they arent out there waiting for a chance. I would hope that Niceguy can find what he is looking for here and not have to worry about the jerks ruining it for him. To me he is an asset to the board and wish there were more like him here.

Swingers Ads	Swinger Pics	Swinger Stories	Shopping	Featured Swingers	Swingers Clubs	Swinger Advice	Dictionary	FAQs	Swinger Links
Forums	Blogs	Search	Today's Posts	Mark Forums Read	Register

08-29-2000, 09:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
niceguy Registered User Join Date: Aug 2000 Posts: 1 Location: Scranton Pa.	all single guys aren't jerks I am a single male and am 50 ish. I keep in shape, am respectful, and am a nice guy in general. There are a lot of us that DON't WANT TO BREAK UP MARRIAGES, or become "pests", and just likes the excitement and fun of being sexual with a female, or the female part of a couple. We are not out there to get a "piece of ass". just sharing fun. ------------------

08-29-2000, 02:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,260 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Very true. My husband and I do play with single guys and there are a lot of good ones out there, but there are also a lot of the other type as well. And even with the other type it's not so much that they are out to break up a marriage, but it is usually that they are (in my experience) extremely conceited and think that I should feel priveledged to have sex with them. Even when I was single I didn't like that type of guy, I'm not about to want him now. If a guy understands what this lifestyle is about - sharing and exploring fantasies - then he can be a great assett to the lifestyle. Unfortunately, guys like you are in the minority and the other guys have given you a bad name. Don't give up and let them ruin it for you tho. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

09-01-2000, 12:31 AM	#4 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,260 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Thank You CyberMWC ... awesome answer. Sad thing is it's not just single guys that have this attitude.. couples do it too. Like just cuz we are swingers we should swing with everyone and anyone. This rule didn't apply when we were single and dating.. why does it suddenly apply now? It's the same thing. You go out, you find someone you are attracted to and you get to know them then you take it to the next level. The only difference here is that you are involving more than just two people.. which makes it that much harder becuase now 2 people have to agree that they are attracted to a third (or a couple has to find a couple where the mutual attraction goes criss cross on both sides). It's not an easy task and there is really no reason that we should have to accept second best (someone that we really aren't into) just because. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-31-2000, 05:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	When I think of a single guy, (something I used to be), the first thing that comes to mind is all the 'attitude' that men have. And not just the single ones. When a guy complains about not being picked, then too bad. Did you cry when you were picked last for the team too? I know, that sounds harsh. But if you want to be able to join in with a man and his wife, then you have to trash all the attitude. Husband of CyberMWCouple

09-02-2000, 09:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	Good answer back@cha too, Julie! VBS It's not an easy task, but we have fun along the way of "searching" too. lol There are days that we see it as a challenge, and then there are other days that we just don't want to be "searching", and that's okay too. Meeting and making new friends is always good too! VBS Wife of CyberMWCouple

10-06-2000, 03:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
hgwells Active Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 13 Location: nolanville, TX, 76559	nice guy...the one thing to remember is....if you truely are a nice guy....couples will seek you out. and it may be a harder task for you, but it also is a hard task for couples as well. the one thing about this lifestyle is that it does take some effort, and i believe more than most people put into a dating relationship. please remember, the reason you find that single guys have one strike against them...and not always there fault..is because most just don't get it. we went to a on premises club one night, that we had been going to for some time. there policy at this club was to admit single men at an extreemly higher rate( should have been the first sign of trouble) we were having a great time, my wife and i were with another couple and one single guy earlier in the evening. we were sitting down having a drink...there were these two single guys who were talking..the jist of the conversation was they were real upset that they spent all that money...and didn't even get laid. i can tell you that was the last time we went to that club....and it took a while for my wife to get over that one comment!! it may seem trivial to a man....but ask any woman on here how they feel about that comment. I also voice julies opinion....keep at it...good things will come around in there own time

10-08-2000, 02:46 AM	#8 (permalink)
watcherone Active Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 45 Location: West Virginia, USA	Of the three single guys my wife has had sex with, one was a jerk and the other two are still great friends and she would have them anytime they may want. The clue here iis in the "was a jerk', and the " are still...". The jerk is long gone but guys like you are a treat to both of us. If only they could all be like you. Dont change and dont be suprised if you become very popular with alot of couples.

10-08-2000, 01:29 PM	#9 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	watcherone...That's cool! Thanks for sharing that with us! VBS

10-24-2000, 08:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	Personally I am just not into single guys. Im sure some are nice enough guys, but the way they come across a lot of the time is pushy and unpleasant. We have placed ads for "couple with a bi female" and at least 5 or 6 guys just have to write and tell me why THEY are what I am looking for! I don't get it. But I will say that a SINGLE guy is not near as bad as the "married but I swing alone" cheating scum!

10-24-2000, 11:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	LIZA...How are you "wording" your ad(s)? We've placed our 1st ad this past Jan., and not once have we had any single males respond to our ad(s) in such manner. There are a lot of nice single males out there, who unfortunately, are catching the rap for the few "jerks" that some talk about as you mention here. We just have to weed out the "few", move on with the search, keep a positive attitude, enjoy ourselves and have fun with it! If anything, we've all gained new friends in the long run! VBS Wife of CyberMWCouple

10-25-2000, 03:17 PM	#12 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	Basically just say I am a married Bi female looking for another ATTACHED FEMALE....that I am into meeting with or without our husbands! Don't think there is any way a single guy could read that as an invitation. Maybe because I am in L.A. I am just getting more replys so more guys because just more people!

10-25-2000, 11:28 PM	#13 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	You're in L.A., and you're wondering of all the single male responses?! I'M surprised! lol Not too sure of the population there in L.A., comparing to here. But, we do get responses from other states too, from those who travel up north here for camping trips and so on. As a matter of fact, we've been chatting with couples from California as well...VBS As for the single males, "misunderstanding" your ad as an "invitation" to join 2 attached women for sexual pleasures, withOUT their husbands......Get where this is leading too? Do you have added to your ad "Sorry, NO single males!", or something to that sort?! Most of the time, just that simple line helps too. VBG Wife of CyberMWCouple

10-26-2000, 12:24 AM	#14 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	Yes, it does say no Singles (male or female) Hahah...gotta keep those determined single women away (i am kidding) Plus I normally put ads on Yahoo in the category Women seeking Women I do not see ANYTHING in my ad that is an invitation to single guys! And even from my rather BITCHY posts here, I am getting email from married cheating men who think I would want to meet them! Go figure where THEY saw an invitation I just think some guys who fancy themselves swingers think they are entitled and will try to get in ANYWHERE!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
All Single Males Aren't Jerks	Yes	Singles & Swinging	21	04-11-2008 10:26 PM
Single Guys Boo Hoo Hoo	YOUSQQ	Singles & Swinging	5	05-18-2003 11:41 PM
Why are there more single guys?	De and Ci	Singles & Swinging	37	04-10-2003 09:33 PM

10-26-2000, 01:33 AM	#15 (permalink)
watcherone Active Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 45 Location: West Virginia, USA	I guess we have been lucky in who we have had join us. I can see that there are predators , male and female, that watch these types of boards and think it is easy pickings. If someone is truly into this lifestyle they wouldnt be anything but truthful to all the others. From all the posts I have read, I dont think I have seen anyone that doesnt appear to be true to the lifestyle.That doesnt mean they arent out there waiting for a chance. I would hope that Niceguy can find what he is looking for here and not have to worry about the jerks ruining it for him. To me he is an asset to the board and wish there were more like him here.