single male bashing

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by incubus40


The wife/gf is usually initially less distrustful, but once the idea sinks in that I don't want her (or any other woman for that matter) enough to even secretly desire to take her from her man, the knowledge seems to drive her to distrust my motives. This is usually accompanied by several introductions to single female friends of hers, which have often been very enjoyable, but do not lead to committed entanglements and therefore do not garner in the wife/gf's mind the security she seeks. Eventually she will pigeonhole me as a strange one and we will not play anymore.


And since there are so many single females who enjoy a good time with a nice, attractive, finacially secure, gentleman who wants no commitment from them, I do just fine. (*pardon the gratuitous self promotion ) Just food for thought.

Live and love well.

I kinda lost you here. You are saying that the wife "pigenhole's" you as a stange one because you avoid commitment? Most swinging wives I know kinda like that particular characteristic and consider it an asset when it comes to an extra male. Now, the income has little bearing and looks are of less importance in the lifestyle then in the local singles club but I kinda wonder how many women would think it strange to find a man that runs from commitment. Haven't you read cosmopolitan? Glad to hear you have lots of golfing buddies tho.

I saw no gratuitous self promotion here though...no need to apologize...just because your mirror reflects a studly rich guy doesn't make you all bad, in fact when I look at myself I see an ordinary guy that has to work hard to make ends meet so I guess I justify my shortcomings by avoiding the mirror and meditating on how charismatic I am..and how many peole love me....LOL>...btw I would encourage single males to comment on how many times they actually get back together with the same couple.

If you seem to not be able to do it what are your feelings on the reasons? Do you think its usually one or the other? I mean the hubby or the wife? Or do you think they mutually just don't want to create a pologymous type relationship? Or any else you may think. John

Originally posted by MichiganCouple

I kinda lost you here. You are saying that the wife "pigenhole's" you as a strange one because you avoid commitment? Most swinging wives I know
kinda like that particular characteristic and consider it an asset when it comes to an extra male.

I saw no gratuitous self promotion here though...no need to apologize...just because your mirror reflects a studly rich guy doesn't make you all bad, in fact when I look at myself I see an ordinary guy that has to work hard to make ends meet so I guess I justify my shortcomings by avoiding the mirror and meditating on how charismatic I am..and how many peole love me....LOL>

To clarify:
I am sure that these wives really do want their single male partners to refrain from untoward advances and emotional attachments. But I am equally sure that it vexes them somehow to realize that the SM really doesn't secretly want more from them. They aren't being dishonest in their desires either. I honestly think they encounter so many SM who do want more, that they expect it and when it is missing something seems odd.

And I'm not rich...not yet anyway. LOL! Sounds like you are though, where it really counts.

Live and Love Well.

As a single male I have to agree with both sides of the issue. Sound strange? Let me explain -

When I was married my wife and I entered the lifestyle and we both enjoyed being a part of other couples' lives since we established relationships with them both in and out of the bedroom.

So long as we were with couples things went well - and, as you can imagine, one day she decided that she wanted a single male...I agreed and the rest...including the marriage are now history. I suppose that since I was out of town during the week she had ample opportunity to cheat, but when I came home and found another man's clothes in my bedroom - well - the writing was on the wall. He is 25...she is 48.

I have since found out that he wasn't the first during the course of our 13 year marriage, she had a 'hidden' bank account, bounced checks from our joint account and took money from our account to 'date' this guy while I was out of town. That being said, I filed, she signed and now I am again single (divorced).

Now - the lifestyle is exactly that - a lifestyle. I love having lifestyle friends because we think on the same wavelength, we don't judge, we have mutual respect, and at least with TRUE lifestyle people there is honesty...sometimes brutal, but at least honesty. Since I have personally experienced the pain associated with a single male into our relationship I understand why many couples prefer single females or other couples. It's not so much insecurity as much as it is avoidance of the potential for problems. That avoidance behavior as it is should be respected and appreciated - never judged.

Since my divorce I am taking time to heal...and while I am looking for lifestyle friends - 'sex' for me isn't at the top of the menu as much as rebuilding. Not to say I won't have sex...it's just not at the top of my priority list. By the way - if I find a couple, single female or female couple for fun I am always ready to offer proof of my relationship status.

I think is the main issue is single men just looking for cheap sex instead of being in a lifestyle - if SEX is a sinlge man's TOP priority he's thinking with the wrong head.