single male bashing

LIZA · 10-13-2001, 08:24 PM

MK7142-

I READ your original post. MY OWN experience with single men (and swinging in general) is in a Club environment, hence my statements!..........for someone who is not even actively involved in swinging you certainly do have a lot of opinions AND a very sharp tongue.

Good luck in whatever it is you are searching for..........as you say, you migth want to actually investigate some of this before you preach as an expert on what drives swinging (is it a Heterosexual Male driven phenomen, etc) I think you might find things to be just a tad different than you think!

LIZA · 10-13-2001, 08:45 PM

I just re-read your original post and am stunned by how far off you are on a lot of points.
There are some women into gang-bangs and super-big men but that is VERY rare.

A single guy hung like a horse is STILL a single guy and will be treated as such.

You seem to have such a huge chip on your shoulder about so many different things you might want to re-think whether or not swinging will be a good idea for you

mk7124 · 10-13-2001, 09:59 PM

Hey Liza,

Speaking of sharp tongues - you might want to check yours at the door.

It seems to me that you (and a few others posting here) are under the impression that
unless one frequents a swing club they are not considered "real swingers". Hence, my comment about us maybe visiting a swing club, in order to acquire first hand experience with single males in that setting. Do not confuse that remark with us not being active swingers. New maybe, but still active. You really should take some reading lessons.

Furthermore, you seem to be the one with a chip on her shoulder. You remind me of someone that is a member of an exclusive club, that objects to new members (with their own ideas and opinions) from expressing them.

lycioos · 10-14-2001, 03:04 PM

MK7124,

I noticed that towards the end of your original post you said something to the effect of:

"Insecurity on your husbands part about loosing his sweetheart to a single male. Better go with the married one - he is safer. I think most people who swing are hypocrites."

I think there is some truth to that statement but maybe not in the way that you seem to be emplying. In some, not all, but some ways it is safer to entrust your sweetie to a married person. If you put the matters of the heart and trust aside, there are alot of aspects to swinging such as physical safety. You certainly wouldn't want a man to become rough with your wife or loose control with her. And there are also the issues of STD's. Now, certainly being married does not make you excempt from either of these issues, but the simple fact that another women has committed and is still committed to you does make the odds a bit better. Saftey for a loved one always has to be the first priority and if the perception of saftey is there in married men, than that is where one needs to go.

Just my 2 cents.

LIZA · 10-14-2001, 03:23 PM

Your first post gave the impression you had very little experience but MANY opinions you presented as absolute truths (none of which I have found to be remotely true in the past 5 years)

lycioos · 10-15-2001, 06:06 PM

Hey Liza, are you refering to me, or the guy who has a name that sounds like a computer code????????

LIZA · 10-15-2001, 08:28 PM

I was referring to the original poster (Mk 7124). not you

10-18-2001, 12:44 PM

This question was asked and answered in another thread but...

I would encourage you to read Nancy Friday's website at www.nancyfriday.com and her books "Women on Top" and "Men in Love" which will explain to you the dynamics at work as to how and why women feel they do and why men feel what they feel.

I could explain it, but it would take me a thesis to write it.

In a nutshell, it's how little boys are raised into men, and their perceptions as to how and what women are to them. I.E. Men don't have a problem with lesbians...the more the merrier. Gay men, forget it...their disgusting...Double standard? Or plausible?

I like anal sex...love it, feels terrific. I don't want a man fucking my ass. A gal with a strap on, you bet! It's no different than what you're implying. It took until I met my wife that I could enjoy lowering my guards and acknowledging her I like my hindparts touched and stimulated. My question to you, how many of you would be disgusted or turned on by such a revelation, and if it were your revelation.

Men are no different about other men than what I just said. Their very nature is what your referring to.

Personally, men don't attract me...with the exception of a few who I'd kill to have their physiques.

Our society as a rule doesn't have a problem with women liking women...but men & men, there is a double standard.

And like my other post, I apologize for my prejudice, but I am who and what I am, and unless the situation is something I'm absolutely comfortable with, I will not change.

You have a nice day...

Sierra(she)Denali(me)

lycioos · 10-19-2001, 03:47 PM

You were on a role Liza, don't stop now.

I'm still trying to figure out why this is such a big deal to this mike guy considering he claims to be married and not single, so I say "what difference does it make?"

LIZA · 10-19-2001, 06:05 PM

I think maybe he is one of those "married but I swing alone" kinda guys

mk7124 · 10-22-2001, 09:11 AM

You people are too funny. Actually, my wife read the entire post and thought I was an asshole for posting it in the first place. Oh, well!

youngmichiganmale · 12-04-2001, 07:24 PM

I have to say that, before I begin, all of you people who waste time writing a novel or book length reply succeed only in repeating yourself several times over - Just in different words and expressions (the majority, anyhow). Keep it short and get to the point. If I want to read a novel, I have a bookshelf full of them at my disposal.

Single men do get a bad rep in the swinging lifestyle, let's face it. And the majority of that bad rep comes from our experience with pushy, cocky, demanding single males who lie to entice a couple, or just plain don't know how to take "no thank you" for an answer. I think however, that it is unfair to staple all single men together and place a label on them because of our experience with a few assholes.

It's all in your approach.... Were you invited, or are you pushing yourself on a couple whose ad clearly states their interest in other couples and bi-females only? Are you exagerating your penis length and sexual prowess to entice or convince them? Are you outright begging, and does your email sound like a desperate plea? These are all things you have to consider. It is not single males in general - It is timing, direction, and a little common sense. And patience isn't a bad virtue either....

impell · 12-25-2001, 02:01 PM

HI,
We are new to the board and found this thread very interesting. We are admittedly relativly new to the lifestyle but I wanted to toss in my .02 cents.

We very much enjoy mfm 3somes among other things. The problem we have seen with trying to hook up with single males is that they have generally been dishonest or Terribly cocky and rude. Unfortunatly we guys we have met up with have tried to get something going on the side with my wife. We are learning not to tell people where we live, work, phone numbers. It really sucks. In mentioning where we work. Mr. X took it upon himself to call her at work and attempt a 1 on 1 meeting when we had been very clear about the fact that we only play together. Another "gentleman" offered a trip or an onpremise club to my wife while I was away. This is a problem for me. I trust my wife but I have to admit I do not like these guys trying to go "behind my back" No trust, no honesty, no more contact.
Although the sex part has been fun and good. We have yet to meet a trust worthy, honest single male we are comforable building a relationship with. It would be really really nice to meet a decent guy who enjoys partying and the sex but has no expectations beyond that.
To me, its like killing the goose that lays the golden egg. I wish I could have meet a couple like US when I was single. Great sex, no strings, "Hey, call me when you guys want to party again!"
Maybe we are doing something wrong in screening guys to meet. But the fact is that we have not had any of the above mentioned issues with the couples we have met. So, in our limited experiences we can see why people would tend to bash single males.

Have a nice day and thanks for letting us add to your conversation.

J&S

danc694u · 12-27-2001, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by impell:
Unfortunatly guys we have met up with have tried to get something going on the side with my wife.

BINGO!!!!!!! And then for a comeback they tell you, you're just being insecure and jealous. LMAO

JUST ONCE....we would like to meet another single guy, who actually understood what swinging was about. We do actually know one

Finding another would be great.

But, this problem isn't just limited to the guys

**TNT** · 12-27-2001, 11:46 PM

I guess we have been lucky with the single men we have played with...they all respected the fact that we are a couple and would never dream of contacting me for a one on one. This could have something to do with the fact that hubby always mentions something about his gun collection on the first meeting, LOL. But really, he is VERY, VERY picky when it comes to the single men we play with. Months will pass between the first contact, via email, IM, or even meeting at a social or club before we ever agree to a meeting with them, and then it is only to set and talk face to face.

We have found that the ones who are willing to hang around for a couple of months just chatting on the computer and/or exchanging emails, before actually meeting us are the ones who make the best third in our MFM threesomes.

The ones we have played with had all been in the lifestyle for a while and understood all the rules. They were all gentlemen, polite and very respectful and actually took the time to get to know us as a couple.

There are some good ones out there, it just takes time to find them.

Teresa

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12-25-2001, 02:01 PM	#43 (permalink)
impell Registered User Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 2 Location: Michigan	HI, We are new to the board and found this thread very interesting. We are admittedly relativly new to the lifestyle but I wanted to toss in my .02 cents. We very much enjoy mfm 3somes among other things. The problem we have seen with trying to hook up with single males is that they have generally been dishonest or Terribly cocky and rude. Unfortunatly we guys we have met up with have tried to get something going on the side with my wife. We are learning not to tell people where we live, work, phone numbers. It really sucks. In mentioning where we work. Mr. X took it upon himself to call her at work and attempt a 1 on 1 meeting when we had been very clear about the fact that we only play together. Another "gentleman" offered a trip or an onpremise club to my wife while I was away. This is a problem for me. I trust my wife but I have to admit I do not like these guys trying to go "behind my back" No trust, no honesty, no more contact. Although the sex part has been fun and good. We have yet to meet a trust worthy, honest single male we are comforable building a relationship with. It would be really really nice to meet a decent guy who enjoys partying and the sex but has no expectations beyond that. To me, its like killing the goose that lays the golden egg. I wish I could have meet a couple like US when I was single. Great sex, no strings, "Hey, call me when you guys want to party again!" Maybe we are doing something wrong in screening guys to meet. But the fact is that we have not had any of the above mentioned issues with the couples we have met. So, in our limited experiences we can see why people would tend to bash single males. Have a nice day and thanks for letting us add to your conversation. J&S __________________ Me fail english? That's unpossible!

12-27-2001, 11:46 PM	#45 (permalink)
TNT Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 4,187 Location: baker, fl, usa Status: couple SLS Name:tblonde312 Blog Entries: 31	I guess we have been lucky with the single men we have played with...they all respected the fact that we are a couple and would never dream of contacting me for a one on one. This could have something to do with the fact that hubby always mentions something about his gun collection on the first meeting, LOL. But really, he is VERY, VERY picky when it comes to the single men we play with. Months will pass between the first contact, via email, IM, or even meeting at a social or club before we ever agree to a meeting with them, and then it is only to set and talk face to face. We have found that the ones who are willing to hang around for a couple of months just chatting on the computer and/or exchanging emails, before actually meeting us are the ones who make the best third in our MFM threesomes. The ones we have played with had all been in the lifestyle for a while and understood all the rules. They were all gentlemen, polite and very respectful and actually took the time to get to know us as a couple. There are some good ones out there, it just takes time to find them. Teresa __________________ Ted and Teresa No lifetime is enough unless you live it in such a way as to make it enough.

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10-13-2001, 08:24 PM	#31 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	MK7142- I READ your original post. MY OWN experience with single men (and swinging in general) is in a Club environment, hence my statements!..........for someone who is not even actively involved in swinging you certainly do have a lot of opinions AND a very sharp tongue. Good luck in whatever it is you are searching for..........as you say, you migth want to actually investigate some of this before you preach as an expert on what drives swinging (is it a Heterosexual Male driven phenomen, etc) I think you might find things to be just a tad different than you think!

10-13-2001, 08:45 PM	#32 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I just re-read your original post and am stunned by how far off you are on a lot of points. There are some women into gang-bangs and super-big men but that is VERY rare. A single guy hung like a horse is STILL a single guy and will be treated as such. You seem to have such a huge chip on your shoulder about so many different things you might want to re-think whether or not swinging will be a good idea for you

10-13-2001, 09:59 PM	#33 (permalink)
mk7124 Active Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 15	Hey Liza, Speaking of sharp tongues - you might want to check yours at the door. It seems to me that you (and a few others posting here) are under the impression that unless one frequents a swing club they are not considered "real swingers". Hence, my comment about us maybe visiting a swing club, in order to acquire first hand experience with single males in that setting. Do not confuse that remark with us not being active swingers. New maybe, but still active. You really should take some reading lessons. Furthermore, you seem to be the one with a chip on her shoulder. You remind me of someone that is a member of an exclusive club, that objects to new members (with their own ideas and opinions) from expressing them.

10-14-2001, 03:04 PM	#34 (permalink)
lycioos Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 123	MK7124, I noticed that towards the end of your original post you said something to the effect of: "Insecurity on your husbands part about loosing his sweetheart to a single male. Better go with the married one - he is safer. I think most people who swing are hypocrites." I think there is some truth to that statement but maybe not in the way that you seem to be emplying. In some, not all, but some ways it is safer to entrust your sweetie to a married person. If you put the matters of the heart and trust aside, there are alot of aspects to swinging such as physical safety. You certainly wouldn't want a man to become rough with your wife or loose control with her. And there are also the issues of STD's. Now, certainly being married does not make you excempt from either of these issues, but the simple fact that another women has committed and is still committed to you does make the odds a bit better. Saftey for a loved one always has to be the first priority and if the perception of saftey is there in married men, than that is where one needs to go. Just my 2 cents.

10-14-2001, 03:23 PM	#35 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	Your first post gave the impression you had very little experience but MANY opinions you presented as absolute truths (none of which I have found to be remotely true in the past 5 years)

10-15-2001, 06:06 PM	#36 (permalink)
lycioos Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 123	Hey Liza, are you refering to me, or the guy who has a name that sounds like a computer code????????

10-15-2001, 08:28 PM	#37 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I was referring to the original poster (Mk 7124). not you

10-18-2001, 12:44 PM	#38 (permalink)
SierraDenali Posts: n/a	This question was asked and answered in another thread but... I would encourage you to read Nancy Friday's website at www.nancyfriday.com and her books "Women on Top" and "Men in Love" which will explain to you the dynamics at work as to how and why women feel they do and why men feel what they feel. I could explain it, but it would take me a thesis to write it. In a nutshell, it's how little boys are raised into men, and their perceptions as to how and what women are to them. I.E. Men don't have a problem with lesbians...the more the merrier. Gay men, forget it...their disgusting...Double standard? Or plausible? I like anal sex...love it, feels terrific. I don't want a man fucking my ass. A gal with a strap on, you bet! It's no different than what you're implying. It took until I met my wife that I could enjoy lowering my guards and acknowledging her I like my hindparts touched and stimulated. My question to you, how many of you would be disgusted or turned on by such a revelation, and if it were your revelation. Men are no different about other men than what I just said. Their very nature is what your referring to. Personally, men don't attract me...with the exception of a few who I'd kill to have their physiques. Our society as a rule doesn't have a problem with women liking women...but men & men, there is a double standard. And like my other post, I apologize for my prejudice, but I am who and what I am, and unless the situation is something I'm absolutely comfortable with, I will not change. You have a nice day... Sierra(she)Denali(me)

10-19-2001, 03:47 PM	#39 (permalink)
lycioos Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 123	You were on a role Liza, don't stop now. I'm still trying to figure out why this is such a big deal to this mike guy considering he claims to be married and not single, so I say "what difference does it make?"

10-19-2001, 06:05 PM	#40 (permalink)
LIZA Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 426 Location: ORANGE COUNTY, CA Status: Married Fem.	I think maybe he is one of those "married but I swing alone" kinda guys

10-22-2001, 09:11 AM	#41 (permalink)
mk7124 Active Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 15	You people are too funny. Actually, my wife read the entire post and thought I was an asshole for posting it in the first place. Oh, well!

12-04-2001, 07:24 PM	#42 (permalink)
youngmichiganmale Registered Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 5	I have to say that, before I begin, all of you people who waste time writing a novel or book length reply succeed only in repeating yourself several times over - Just in different words and expressions (the majority, anyhow). Keep it short and get to the point. If I want to read a novel, I have a bookshelf full of them at my disposal. Single men do get a bad rep in the swinging lifestyle, let's face it. And the majority of that bad rep comes from our experience with pushy, cocky, demanding single males who lie to entice a couple, or just plain don't know how to take "no thank you" for an answer. I think however, that it is unfair to staple all single men together and place a label on them because of our experience with a few assholes. It's all in your approach.... Were you invited, or are you pushing yourself on a couple whose ad clearly states their interest in other couples and bi-females only? Are you exagerating your penis length and sexual prowess to entice or convince them? Are you outright begging, and does your email sound like a desperate plea? These are all things you have to consider. It is not single males in general - It is timing, direction, and a little common sense. And patience isn't a bad virtue either....