The "ticket" theory

[Tarnished Halo]

Tim....I believe that you are looking for a "ticket", which is very much frowned on in the community. Wouldn't you better serve your interests to form a relationship first? THEN worry about swinging?

[DevilzAdvokit]

Wouldnt it be more twisted for him to attempt to form a legitmate relationship with swinging in mind just so he could avoid being referred to as some ridiculous piece of swingers lingo. Why do swingers frown upon "tickets" any way? The majority of society would find a single person far less sleazy for trying to find a way to sow their wild oates than a married couple perverting their marriage vows any day of the week. And nobody would say shit to a single female.You know why? Because they arent discriminated against like single males are by the swinging community.

Hey Tim,

Go for it! You have the Devils blessing. Swinging is evolving whether these old schoolers like it or not. It wont be too long before their cliche terminolgy,ridiculous lingo,double standards and orientation discrimination only exists in outdated clubs that you wouldnt want to set foot in. Be patient my friend.

"They got the guns but we got the numbers....
Gonna win yeah we're taking over...
Come on !"

Jim Morrison "Five To One"

[bear_n_bunny]

If swinging is evolving the way Mr. Devil thinks it is, then it will no longer be swinging.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again;

1. Swinging is an activity of, by and for COUPLES.
2. The overwhelming majority of swinging couples have no interest in single males (go read the ads on places like Swing Lifestyle or couplestouch, etc, if you doubt this).
3. That minority of swinging couples that DO have an interest in single males have their best choices on sites like sexyads.com or adultfriendfinder.com, which are loaded to the gunwales with single men.
4. The ONLY reason that I have ever been able to discern (despite the denials and whining from the usual suspects) that single males try to impose themselves in a swinger environment is because they think that the women are easy fucks, and they might stand a better chance of scoring.
5. Concomitant to #4, the other unmentioned (except by mean, nasty bastards with low bullshit tolerance quotients like me) reason most single men come sniffing around swingers is because they have some fundamental personality or character flaw that prevents them from getting laid by the multitudes of perfectly horny single females that are out there just waiting to get boinked.

(And I know whereof I speak, as a recently single male myself for several years, I had more pussy than I knew what to do with.)

Deal with it.

-- Bear

[DevilzAdvokit]

1) If that is so then why do I see as many if not more accounts of the MFM configuration then just about anything else?
The Extra M in the MFM indicates that it is obviously not a couples only event. The M is an actual living breathing
person whether you like it or not.

2) Whether it's their primary interest or not it sure gets done an awful lot by a hell of a lot of people
therefore making single males a very active base in the swinging community.
3) Why shouldnt couples who are interested in finding a second male have the same luxury as ones looking for other
couples?
Why shouldnt they get the opportunity to select these men in person rather than being forced to do it over the
internet?
4) This is just not so in all cases. The ones we have played with not only do extremely well on their own but can do this
in demographics that you wouldnt even have access to if it were your greatest ambition in life.
5) See my #4 and..... Even guys who can go into the hottest club in town and pick and choose at will may have a hard
time or be reluctant to attempt to initiate a threeway/fourway/etc. Also, Have you ever considered that some of these guys may want to do some group sex but wouldnt want to taint a relationship that they value in order to do it? Even though people who are in the"lifestyle" dont see it that way, alot of folks do. But it doesnt mean they dont want to have their fun before they find what they want to settle down with.

With that said.....

What you said is correct in alot of cases. But what I stated exists as well.

The Devil

[JustAskJulie]

While I felt this was a valid discussion I didn't think we needed to jumble up someone's personal ad to have it, so I split it off and moved it to the "Singles" forum.

[Chicup]

Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit

4) This is just not so in all cases. The ones we have played with not only do extremely well on their own but can do this
in demographics that you wouldnt even have access to if it were your greatest ambition in life.

Someones ego flowith over yet again.

Also the reason you see so many MFM's is that FMF's are hard to come by. Single males are a dime a dozen. Put an add in any swingers site asking for a single female and stating you are NOT interested in a single male. You won't get any responces from a single female (at least a real one) but you will get 5+ single males, telling you how big their cocks are and how great they are.

[TNT]

Ok, this comes from a couple who plays with single men on a regular basis.

First off, what everyone has said is true to one extent or another. The thing that everyone must remember is that singles (single males for the purpose of this post) have just as many reasons for wanting to enter the swinging lifestyle as couples do. Not every couple enters for the same reasons and neither does every single.

I do believe that it has been said here as well as other places; many, many different times…there are as many different ways to swing, as there are swingers. That being said, here is what we have found to be true in our experience with single males in particular.

This has been copied from another thread that I posted to a while back, but it applies very well here.

We have found that there are basically two different kinds of single men exploring the swinging lifestyle.

The first are the ones that everyone bitches about. They want an easy lay…one that does not involve any emotion, any respect, or any kind of semblance of friendship whatsoever, they are the ones that have a wham, bam, not even a thank you mam, kind of attitude. They do not look at swinging as a chance to share an experience that most people in the world will never get to have. They are selfish and rude and are only in it for themselves.

The second kind of single men are the ones everyone likes. They are in the swinging lifestyle because they truly enjoy sharing sexual experiences with others. They themselves have fantasies of sharing a woman with another man and if married, would hope that their own wife would enjoy the same thing. They understand that when a couple invites them in, it is the greatest compliment to their character. They look at the wife of a couple as a rare and special kind of woman, because this is the kind of woman he would like to find and hasn’t been able to yet, and he is thankful to the husband for allowing him to share in her company, even if it is only for a night, a week, a month or longer.

Do you see the difference?

The swinging lifestyle is about sex, but it is about a special kind of sex and fantasy fulfillment. During swinging sex you are SHARING with the other people involved. You are helping as well as being helped to fulfill sexual fantasies that cannot otherwise be fulfilled no matter how good your imagination is. You can emulate certain things with toys, but trust me, there is nothing like a warm body. When you find a couple or single who is willing to help you fulfill your desires and whom you are willing to help fulfill theirs, you have been given a very special gift. Swinging is a give and take activity. During any encounter you are always taking what is given to you as well as giving something back in return.


There are those individuals (singles) out there who do actually enjoy the swinging lifestyle just as much as couples do. Singles do not have a monopoly on being in the lifestyle just for an easy lay, there are plenty of couples who are in it for the same reasons that are usually contributed to single males being in the lifestyle.

Teresa

[DevilzAdvokit]

Chicup

You make it sound like swingers are so strungout on fucking that they cram themselves with single males because they cant get their drug of choice. Sad.

Couples
1) Are also a dime a dozen
2) Misrepresent themselves
3) Answer ads that they are no where in the ballpark of meeting the specified requirements of
4) And have no problem telling you all they can do for you either

The Devil

[Chicup]

Yes you are SO correct. When we placed adds out mailbox was just full of couples we didn't want to hear from sending us naked pcitures we didn't ask for!

Not....

[DevilzAdvokit]

Chicup

Mine is. There must be something wrong with you.


The Devil

[thekolonel]

I like the way TNT looks at things. Some people here have this zero-sum-game mentality when it comes to swinging. But in reality it's about sharing and fantasy fulfillment.

The overwhelming majority of swinging couples have no interest in single males (go read the ads on places likeSLS or couplestouch, etc, if you doubt this).

MFM fantasies are nearly as prevalent among women as FMF fantasies are among men. I think the phenonmenon you witness in personals ads is the result of men being rigid about letting their women experience other men without a "fair trade" involved. Women seem more willing to submit to what for them may be a less desirable scenario (FMF) in order to please their men. Also, most of the actual swingers I've met (not the looky-loos) at least entertain the notion of doing a MFM under the right conditions (hell, I've met a surprising number of couples who prefer the MFM route). And, as Devil points out, there's too much talk around here of MFM scenarios (and guys getting off on seeing their women with one or more men in general) for this to be of marginal interest to the swinger community. It's perverse logic that I'd want another guy around simply because females aren't available.

The ONLY reason that I have ever been able to discern (despite the denials and whining from the usual suspects) that single males try to impose themselves in a swinger environment is because they think that the women are easy fucks, and they might stand a better chance of scoring.

If you are talking about an on-premises play party then, well, EVERYONE is there to find people who are more willing to fuck than your average restaurant patron. As long as the balance of sexes is reasonable and a code-of-conduct is maintained I don't see the problem. If you are talking about off-premises situations or personal ads, I think these environments only appeal to males who derive some enjoyment from playing with couples. 1) The single male has to jump through a lot of hoops to be with couples. 2) The vast majority of single males don't want another guy around. In no way is this an easy lay for a male who is not committed to the scene.

"Ticket" couples don't bother me at all, because it's easy enough to figure that out after a short conversation, and the female half, I've found, is often a woman who's curious about swinging but wants a friend to come along to the party for moral support. She's a free-agent, essentially--potentially one of those elusive single bi females. In fact, we've met "ticket" girls before and ended up having threesomes with them later on.

Chicup, Devil's right about couples. We've put up ads in the past specifying single females only and gotten tons of responses from couples. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten naked pictures as well. And don't get me started on the number of downright weird or rude couples we've had meet-n-greets with. Single males certainly do not have the market cornered on inappropriate behavior.

[DevilzAdvokit]

Kolonel

Thanks.


I know that many of you are of the belief that I'm just a cantankerous
bastard whos only purpose is to bring discord to this board. This is only partially
true. I can be difficult to deal with at times but I'm not here for the sole and solitary
purpose of being belligerent to others though I do admit to being given to that type of
demeanor at times.

I'm actually here for a decent purpose in my opinion. I try to voice opinions that exist but may not be popular. I try to say
what exists but isnt getting said. I try to defend those who it is popular to demean and attack those who attack them.

But most importantly......

I'm here because of the newcomers who frequent this board looking for answers and explanations. When people do a search in an attempt to find these answers they dont find message boards that talk of the innumerable casualties that are directly caused by swinging. They dont exist. They find sites like this. A site that may tell its painfully obvious unhealthy posters not to swing but has way more of a tendency to minimize the possible negative consequences of this type of recreation. More people attempt to swing and abandon it due to complications than continue to engage in it statistically. And before you go there ( I'm not doing this because I'm jaded) so keep your speculations to yourselves.
I just want all other sides properly represented since this is a major resource and reference guide to people considering
this lifestyle.

The Devil

[2SHARE]

Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit
More people attempt to swing and abandon it due to complications than continue to engage in it statistically.
The Devil

Just wondering where that statistic came from; I would like to read more about it. Not that I disagree with you, I don't. Just want to have additional info so I can respond with intelligence and be able to address the complications of these swinger wanna be's.
Deb

[BradAndJanet]

Originally posted by DevilzAdvokit
...More people attempt to swing and abandon it due to complications than continue to engage in it statistically. ...

Yes, indeed, from where do you get that statistic? You've voiced a number of opinions here on this board that seem to be based solely on your personal experiences, and yet you represent them as if they were fact. The former is acceptable; we all can only speak from what we know, but the latter smacks of arrogance and narrow-minded thinking. Those who don't share your worldview are said to be 'deluding themselves' and you seem unwilling or unable to accept that other's opinions are as equally valid as your own.

Since you bring it up, I will 'go there' and suggest that the real reason you are here, 'warning' the unwary, virginal newbie, is because something has happened to you in the past and you're still bitter about it.

Collectively, we give good solid advice to those who come here looking for it. There is no 'other side of the story' for you to tell and you seem to be the only one who believes that there is. I suggest that the only 'casualties that are directly caused by swinging' you need to worry about are your own.

But, hey, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong...


-B

[DevilzAdvokit]

Most of you are beginning to sound a like to me. It's like 20 different bad covers of the same song.Dont get me wrong. There are a few individuals here. I just wish there were more so I wouldnt have to waste my time having the same argument over and over with 10 different people who all think the same way and say the same old thing. I never knew that abandoning original thought was a prerequisite to group sex/ swinging. Let me know when someone has an original thought and opinion on something.


The Devil