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  1. #1
    Julie's Helper angelkin's Avatar
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    It's complicated

    Default When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    I am curious how other couples go about finding single friends to meet. We use a variety of methods but each of us has what we call "veto power" on any selection (couple or singles). It's been used for a number of reasons, some specific and some very general. Do other wives look for possible single ladies for the hubby to swing with or vice-versa? Do one of you do all the contacting and arranging of dates?
    There's time for sleep when you're dead.

  2. #2
    Here to Stay
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    couple--mostly her posting, he reads

    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    For the most part, I am "in charge" of picking who we will correspond with further or not. This past weekend, he wrote a craigslist ad (and got 44 responses, or course more than half of those were pure garbage). And I narrowed it down from there. Even though we lucked out and it actually worked out this time, it would have been entertaining anyway, because some of the responses were hilarious. Once I decide a couple or single is a "go" then I usually start talking to them, and he will usually join in the conversation by text or email at some point. I am much pickier than he is, so it all works out LOL

  3. #3
    Swingers Board Addict km34's Avatar
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    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    Generally I am more "on the prowl" than he is. We both get into moods where we look through profiles, browse CL, or whatever, but I am always the one that contacts people. What usually happens is that I will find someone(s) that I'm interested in, he'll look over the profile/ad/whatever and either veto or say ok, then I will message. If/when we hear back from them, I'll read the message to decide if I'm still interested, if so he reads either vetoes or okays, and I try to set up a meet.

    So, I do pretty much all of the contacting and setting up except on very rare occasions. He has veto power, but I tend to be the pickier one so that doesn't happen often. I also know what he likes, so people don't even make it past my radar unless I'm fairly certain he'd be interested. When he does the scouting, I have veto power, but once again - it doesn't happen often since we're pretty confident in what the other likes and doesn't like.

  4. #4
    Julie's Helper SW_PA_Couple's Avatar
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    Happily married to a wild woman
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    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    Our singles searches are primarily at meet-n-greet events, secondarily at swingers' club and private parties. We each make our own personal introductions but my wife occasionally introduces a woman she believes I will enjoy meeting. I occasionally point her toward a man. Sometimes I have said, "you should give this guy a second look" and in the end she agrees I was right.

    On-line searches are relatively unproductive; no woman has ever sent an e-mail introduction. My wife receives proposals for sex on-average five times a day -- ninty-nine percent being absolutely useless. Results are a little better when one or us makes the initial e-mail invitation.

    Both of us presume to have veto power but it has seldom been used.

  5. #5
    Julie's Helper funcoupledayton's Avatar
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    m. female

    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    I do the scouting and initial contact or response for singles and couples. He has veto power. I think it would be hot if he picked out single guys for me, but he's not that interested in spending time online looking through profiles.

  6. #6
    Swingers Board Addict twistedpretzels's Avatar
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    Cpl. She posts. He's busy :)
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    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    If Pete gets a hit on sls he will explore it: couples or single male or females. He actually got a hit on CL (he was looking after we met a guy i've chatted with for over 2 years it seems something will come of this-- so Pete said 'hey i want some girl!! lol) and we will see if that comes to fruition. Prolly not. But who knows.
    I do look for women for Pete either singles or within a couple. We don't hook up much at this point although we have a house party the end of the month and
    a club like party this Saturday. Pete isn't super interested in searching online as he is very busy with work. I have more time and if the mood strikes me I do.
    It all depends on my energy level.
    loves2lovepr
    we've only just begun

  7. #7
    Lifestyle Mentor mauijanedoe's Avatar
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    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    Me. I bring my finds to him like a dog offering her favorite ball. Whatever. I'm not only pickier, it's not all that different from when I was in human resources. ;-)
    I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. - John Waters

  8. #8
    Julie's Helper angelkin's Avatar
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    It's complicated

    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    We both surf the sites and discuss our finds and whether or not to make contact. I am almost always the one sending emails or chatting though. I look for women he might be interested in - "hey honey, I bet you like her ass" is a typical conversation. Sometimes I have to laugh at what has become "typical"
    There's time for sleep when you're dead.

  9. #9
    occ
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    Swingers Board Addict occ's Avatar
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    Default Re: When looking for singles, who takes the lead?

    We don't look on line since it has been too disappointing. So our meets are generally at parties or through other couple introductions. I generally take the lead. Mr occ has veto power but has only done that once. I know what he likes and what I like so it usually works out just fine.

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