Positive Slant on the Single Male

Elusive BiFem · 06-22-2003, 08:09 AM

We've had interesting dialogue going on about the single male, and most of the responses have leaned towards the negative side.

I would be interested in hearing everyone's positive experiences (and I'm certain some of our "positive" single males would like to hear something positive, too). Even if you are not interested in involving a single male in your relationship, I'm certain you have received at least one or more e-mail/IM that left you with good feelings - maybe along the line of..."if that was our thing, this is a person we might be interested in talking with."

My ads have always specified couples only - no single males. I've received a few responses from singles that I would immediately place on the negative side of the page - instant delete. I've also received a few well-written, informative, upbeat and friendly responses. With those, I've responded in kind - thanks, appreciate the note, but not just now, etc. I have even received some notes from men far, far away that wanted only to say hello -maybe chat a bit - with no intent of meeting, etc. And honestly, on balance, I'd have to say the positives have won out. I've only received one unsolicited XXX photo. Instant delete.

I don't post pictures and I keep my IM on invisible. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I haven't been inundated as others have mentioned.

So!! Let's hear something positive - from couples, single females, single males - everyone on this Board. Thanks!! - EBF

OhioCouple · 06-22-2003, 09:01 AM

We have received several messages that were one in which we took notice to (from single men). We actually met with one of them, although it never went any further than a dinner. A nice man, we just weren't ready for an MFM at that time.

On the one pay site that we belonged to that did not have the capability for blocking, we received several nice messages that said something to the general respect of "I know that you have no interest in single males, but I just wanted to say ...." and from there it was generally a comment about something that they liked in our profile.

I, Mrs. O, have personally had the pleasure of getting to know several of the single men on this board through private e-mails. They are all great men in my eyes and have my utmost respect!

b smith · 06-22-2003, 09:49 AM

We are glad to see that there is someone who sees the positive side to singel males. With our post it could be easily interpeted that we have been negative towards them but that is not our intention. Most of the replies that we have received have been very sensitive. However as people we tend to forget the 95% of the positive encounters and remember the 5% of the negative encounters. From there letting those negative encounters shape the rest of our view.

Our one encounter has been with a single male and we are looking towards it again with a single male. The ads that we have placed have specifically stated single males and have discouraged couples from responding. This time we need to look a bit closer since we don't know any off hand and the few negative encounters have really shaped our view of them. Also being a M - F couple , you do have the decision on who, if anyone, you will allow to play with the two of. Without getting into a discussion of group processes , it is not to say single males don't have a say of who they play with but the decision is weighted towards the couple. This put the single male in a situation where they have less input. It is unfortunate that single males are singled out and are given a bad reputation.

Roxysbayou · 06-22-2003, 12:59 PM

Great topic Elusive.

We have not met with a single guy yet. But it was actually two single guys that I sort of worked with that turned me onto the idea of swinging. Prior to that I had just thought it was something that you read about in old penthouse magazines. They told us about a local off premise club and we eventually worked up the courage to attend and had a blast. We did not play with them because we knew them in a work capacity. But they are great guys. Now that we are a little further into the lifestyle, I have gotten a chance to chat with some of the great single guys from this board and now for us a MMF is not out of the question.

I really haven't had any bad experiences from the internet with single guys in the lifestyle. I do get blasted with a/s/l or wanna cyber, but thats just regular guys. I have a had a bad experience with a married guy who would pop on during the day while he was at work and his wife was not seeing him. So like someone said in the other thread, the ring doesn't change who they are. I think for me if I am ready to bring in a single, then I am just going to take my time and get to know him before I do.

**BiloxiCouple** · 06-24-2003, 12:39 AM

We have had very good experiences with single guys that we associated with. There were only 2 exceptions. But that is part of life.

The ones we like had a good positive personality. Everything else was gravy. And the wife thought that alsofacelick

What else is there to say? She had fun and we had fun.

jen · 06-24-2003, 01:15 AM

There is good and bad in everyone.

Get to know the individual.

Roxysbayou · 06-24-2003, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jen
There is good and bad in everyone.

Get to know the individual.

I think that we should make this statement the board motto.

Thanks Jen!

jen · 06-24-2003, 11:51 AM

It's great to read your posts. They always http://smilies.networkessence.net/s/...sun_smiley.gif have sunshine in them.

Thanks for being here and being you.

***JustAskJulie*** · 06-27-2003, 04:24 PM

I've swung with a lot of single guys and I can't really come up with even ONE really bad experience with any of them. I've run into an ego here or there that might have been a bit big, but it was never enough to make a big deal over.

Sure, I've had my share of a-hole emails, but I've probably gotten as many from couples as I have from single guys.

anthonyds · 07-03-2003, 10:07 PM

Sounds pretty settled to me folks - Sgl male dickheads are just that, but sgl males are not neccessarily dickheads.

thump29 · 07-03-2003, 11:20 PM

We have had a bad experience with a single male, but not all single males are the same. I have met a single male that is definetely nice and I see things happening with him. I thought I would never include another single male again until I met this one and he is great. So I know that we definetely wont let one bad experience make our minds up. I am learning that some single men are jerks and some are really nice.

lisabbiny · 04-04-2004, 09:29 PM

the funny thing is my problem.....I get soooooo many that want to hook up that going thru all the couples is a problem. One in a 100 is who they say they are

curiousagain · 02-15-2005, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen

There is good and bad in everyone.

Get to know the individual.

That should be a motto somewhere.

magnum · 03-26-2005, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elusive BiFem

We've had interesting dialogue going on about the single male, and most of the responses have leaned towards the negative side.

I would be interested in hearing everyone's positive experiences (and I'm certain some of our "positive" single males would like to hear something positive, too). Even if you are not interested in involving a single male in your relationship, I'm certain you have received at least one or more e-mail/IM that left you with good feelings - maybe along the line of..."if that was our thing, this is a person we might be interested in talking with."

My ads have always specified couples only - no single males. I've received a few responses from singles that I would immediately place on the negative side of the page - instant delete. I've also received a few well-written, informative, upbeat and friendly responses. With those, I've responded in kind - thanks, appreciate the note, but not just now, etc. I have even received some notes from men far, far away that wanted only to say hello -maybe chat a bit - with no intent of meeting, etc. And honestly, on balance, I'd have to say the positives have won out. I've only received one unsolicited XXX photo. Instant delete.

I don't post pictures and I keep my IM on invisible. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I haven't been inundated as others have mentioned.

So!! Let's hear something positive - from couples, single females, single males - everyone on this Board. Thanks!! - EBF

Hey, just be aware that there is good and bad in every situation/person, couples can be a pain too...

Not all single guy's are idiots, I feel fortunate to be a single guy and to have the pleasure to be able to play with a few couples. I appreciate the invite to play and we have a great time when we do.

I have been playing with "freinds" of mine now for a few years and I hope to be able to return the favor some day.

Magnum

anthonyds · 03-28-2005, 08:42 PM

Without doubt a blanket policy of "no single males" is short sighted and closed minded. Don't dump on all of us for the reputation or poor behavior of a few single males. If you do not enjoy single males so be it, but don't forego what could be very nice experiences with us 'cause of a few shitheads you ran into.

Anthonyds

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06-22-2003, 08:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
Elusive BiFem Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,398 Location: Texas Status: Single Female	Positive Slant on the Single Male We've had interesting dialogue going on about the single male, and most of the responses have leaned towards the negative side. I would be interested in hearing everyone's positive experiences (and I'm certain some of our "positive" single males would like to hear something positive, too). Even if you are not interested in involving a single male in your relationship, I'm certain you have received at least one or more e-mail/IM that left you with good feelings - maybe along the line of..."if that was our thing, this is a person we might be interested in talking with." My ads have always specified couples only - no single males. I've received a few responses from singles that I would immediately place on the negative side of the page - instant delete. I've also received a few well-written, informative, upbeat and friendly responses. With those, I've responded in kind - thanks, appreciate the note, but not just now, etc. I have even received some notes from men far, far away that wanted only to say hello -maybe chat a bit - with no intent of meeting, etc. And honestly, on balance, I'd have to say the positives have won out. I've only received one unsolicited XXX photo. Instant delete. I don't post pictures and I keep my IM on invisible. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I haven't been inundated as others have mentioned. So!! Let's hear something positive - from couples, single females, single males - everyone on this Board. Thanks!! - EBF

06-22-2003, 09:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
OhioCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	We have received several messages that were one in which we took notice to (from single men). We actually met with one of them, although it never went any further than a dinner. A nice man, we just weren't ready for an MFM at that time. On the one pay site that we belonged to that did not have the capability for blocking, we received several nice messages that said something to the general respect of "I know that you have no interest in single males, but I just wanted to say ...." and from there it was generally a comment about something that they liked in our profile. I, Mrs. O, have personally had the pleasure of getting to know several of the single men on this board through private e-mails. They are all great men in my eyes and have my utmost respect!
	__________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

06-22-2003, 09:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
b smith Here to Stay Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 33 Location: Yorkshire - UK	We are glad to see that there is someone who sees the positive side to singel males. With our post it could be easily interpeted that we have been negative towards them but that is not our intention. Most of the replies that we have received have been very sensitive. However as people we tend to forget the 95% of the positive encounters and remember the 5% of the negative encounters. From there letting those negative encounters shape the rest of our view. Our one encounter has been with a single male and we are looking towards it again with a single male. The ads that we have placed have specifically stated single males and have discouraged couples from responding. This time we need to look a bit closer since we don't know any off hand and the few negative encounters have really shaped our view of them. Also being a M - F couple , you do have the decision on who, if anyone, you will allow to play with the two of. Without getting into a discussion of group processes , it is not to say single males don't have a say of who they play with but the decision is weighted towards the couple. This put the single male in a situation where they have less input. It is unfortunate that single males are singled out and are given a bad reputation.
	Last edited by b smith; 06-22-2003 at 09:56 AM.

06-22-2003, 12:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
Roxysbayou Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,376 Location: Louisiana Status: Married Female Swing Lifestyle Name:likethat	Great topic Elusive. We have not met with a single guy yet. But it was actually two single guys that I sort of worked with that turned me onto the idea of swinging. Prior to that I had just thought it was something that you read about in old penthouse magazines. They told us about a local off premise club and we eventually worked up the courage to attend and had a blast. We did not play with them because we knew them in a work capacity. But they are great guys. Now that we are a little further into the lifestyle, I have gotten a chance to chat with some of the great single guys from this board and now for us a MMF is not out of the question. I really haven't had any bad experiences from the internet with single guys in the lifestyle. I do get blasted with a/s/l or wanna cyber, but thats just regular guys. I have a had a bad experience with a married guy who would pop on during the day while he was at work and his wife was not seeing him. So like someone said in the other thread, the ring doesn't change who they are. I think for me if I am ready to bring in a single, then I am just going to take my time and get to know him before I do.
	__________________ I put the "grrrr" in swinger baby, yeah! --Austin Powers

06-24-2003, 12:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
BiloxiCouple Julie's Helper Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,002 Location: Biloxi, Mississippi Status: Couple with benefits and retired Swing Lifestyle Name:graceful	We have had very good experiences with single guys that we associated with. There were only 2 exceptions. But that is part of life. The ones we like had a good positive personality. Everything else was gravy. And the wife thought that alsofacelick What else is there to say? She had fun and we had fun.
	__________________ *Live in the moment before they are gone.*

06-24-2003, 01:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
jen Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 1,118 Location: above a rainbow Status: un dolce uno	he she us them we --- why There is good and bad in everyone. Get to know the individual.
	__________________ April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

06-24-2003, 11:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
jen Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 1,118 Location: above a rainbow Status: un dolce uno	Roxy It's great to read your posts. They always http://smilies.networkessence.net/s/...sun_smiley.gif have sunshine in them. Thanks for being here and being you.
	__________________ April in Tulsa - it's fun for everyone!

06-27-2003, 04:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,292 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	I've swung with a lot of single guys and I can't really come up with even ONE really bad experience with any of them. I've run into an ego here or there that might have been a bit big, but it was never enough to make a big deal over. Sure, I've had my share of a-hole emails, but I've probably gotten as many from couples as I have from single guys.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

07-03-2003, 10:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
anthonyds Registered Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4 Location: Menlo Park Status: single male	sgl males Sounds pretty settled to me folks - Sgl male dickheads are just that, but sgl males are not neccessarily dickheads.

07-03-2003, 11:20 PM	#11 (permalink)
thump29 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 333 Location: okeechobee, fl Status: couple	We have had a bad experience with a single male, but not all single males are the same. I have met a single male that is definetely nice and I see things happening with him. I thought I would never include another single male again until I met this one and he is great. So I know that we definetely wont let one bad experience make our minds up. I am learning that some single men are jerks and some are really nice.

04-04-2004, 09:29 PM	#12 (permalink)
lisabbiny Here to Stay Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 14 Location: Long Island New York Status: Femal/S	the funny thing is my problem.....I get soooooo many that want to hook up that going thru all the couples is a problem. One in a 100 is who they say they are

03-28-2005, 08:42 PM	#15 (permalink)
anthonyds Registered Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4 Location: Menlo Park Status: single male	Re: Positive Slant on the Single Male Without doubt a blanket policy of "no single males" is short sighted and closed minded. Don't dump on all of us for the reputation or poor behavior of a few single males. If you do not enjoy single males so be it, but don't forego what could be very nice experiences with us 'cause of a few shitheads you ran into. Anthonyds

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