Body language

[BiloxiCouple]

I work part time in an off premise swingers club. So this may give me a small insight into this. We have certain rules that singles must adhere to. The main rule is that all singles (females included) must remain at the bar unless invited to a table/dance/play pool.

That being that. I see the singles body language alot. Crossed arms, slumping in chairs and the worst of all...poorly dressed. Just by showing up is no a guarantee of a "sure" thing as most first timers seem to figure out. (Not a sure thing for us a couples either!)

Take a look at yourself. Would you pick yourself up?

You have to also be able to join in a conversation when it presents itself. And be able to carry a conversation.

This also applies to alot of the couples that come out also.

We try to dress nicely each time we go out and we like the people we deal with to be like that too.

Didn't even get to the point of taking a shower before going out.

And I droll on..... You only get one shot at making an impression

[Roxysbayou]

Hey Ya'll. I think that your club has a great policy. Ya'll do a great job! We have always loved your club and everybody there. You do a tremendous job at making newcomers feel welcome!

You have given some great advice here.

[BiloxiCouple]

Thanks for the kind comments. Come by and see us again, maybe we can get hot and bothered?

[Flori_DAMAN]

I always make a point of standing by the bar because if I wander from it I usually fall down. I appreciate your standards. One thing I always do, which I am sure you will appreciate, is carry a barf bag, because when I drink too much ya just never know.

I always carefully pick my shoes when I go to the salvation army store because sometimes the puke color doesn't match the mad dog 20/20 that I prefer. It is most undignified to puke md 20/20 when the shoes have cherry vodka stains.

COncerning the important issue of where I am stationed. I insist that the club manager chain me to the bar. Otherwise I am liable to wander off and urinate on the dance floor. I cannot express how gratified I am that they have a nice strong chain for me to use.

Sometimes they actually let me in the hot tub. I love the hot tub because after I am in it for about ten minutes and all the bugs go to my head I can dunk it and hold my breath for up to 5 seconds (before I need another cig), but when I come up the fleas are mostly swimming toward others.

As a single male people like you make me feel so welcome that I can go watch them make wild passionate love. My little secret is to jack off and scream "CMON GRANDMA COME". They love that.

I just don't understand why they charge me more to get in. I always have to mug a new couple to get the funds, but it is definately worth it because there is a chance that I may meet someone like you there.

HUGS.

John

[DragonsLair]

Hey bro,

Are you going to share those drugs you're on?



DragonsLair

He is T. I am A.

[BiloxiCouple]

Maybe I should have been more clear. Some of the singles who come in do this, not all of them.

Just like some of the couples who come in are kind of wearing what they believe to be comfortable but tacky clothing.

i.e. Wearing a tank top with flip flops and shorts.


Your choice of levity was interesting, but not very helpful.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by BiloxiCouple
Maybe I should have been more clear. Some of the singles who come in do this, not all of them.

Just like some of the couples who come in are kind of wearing what they believe to be comfortable but tacky clothing.

BiloxiCouple, when posting in the Singles forum, one must be sure to use words like "Quite a few", "Most, but not all", "Couples as well as singles", "Females and Males alike", otherwise the tenderfoots get a "nilly in their willy".

You may have been better off posting your original post in the Swingers Club and Parties Forum. With that being said, I agree, body language says a lot as does making that first impression.

[EternallySingle]

At the one club I attended, singles were kept away from the common areas. Single men had to stay at the bar, single females at the tables at the other end of the bar.

This place was extremely brutal because single males weren't even able to mingle with single females, nor they with us. Don't ask me why, but that was how it was. Fortunately the men were able to shoot pool, which meant the six of us were usually off by ourselves spending $1.50 a game playing 8-ball. We had fun, but it didn't do anything to help us meet people. The single women had control of the juke box and remote for the television. Almost always there were a group of women watching something on HBO an hour or two after arriving and not being approached by couples. My fourth time there there were no other single men and only two single females. After two hours I was so bored I walked over to their table and asked if they wanted to go to Shenanigans. I was instantly thrown out, and they followed me(strange, but true). We ended up becoming friends and through them I learned of other clubs in the Puget Sound area that wasn't as restrictive and I actually had a chance to learn how to mingle with couples. Oh, I also spent over $500 dollars visiting that club, including the membership fee which was needed to get an invitation.

It is up to a club to create its own policy about singles, and its up to singles to decide if those rules are acceptable to them. The isolation bit serves its primary purpose well. It keeps singles from returning to the club. It also makes it difficult to meet singles, however, because nobody likes to be sent to the corner, which will result in the slouching, excessive drinking, scowls, and not caring about appearance that you mentioned.

For single guys and gals who live in an area where the clubs are like that, I suggest that you try to mingle with each other (as much as the club will allow) and try to form a rapport with each other so that, after a few months of getting to know each other, you can go to the club as a couple. Always look for a way to make the most of a bad situation.

[EternallySingle]

I understand that club owners do this because of the action of a few singles who just don't know how to act. I understand that most club owners are couples and run their clubs for the benefit of couples. Those who allow singles do so because a portion of their primary members (couples) want singles. Usually females but occasionally males too.

The problem is how to screen out the ones who will cause trouble from the ones you would actually want to attend. When someone comes up with a foolproof way of doing that, I will write you and tell you about it. If you find the answer before me, send me an email.

Oh, and lighten up! Don't know about you, but getting heavily caffienated helps me tremendously.

[St. Augustine]

(Cathy) Interesting thread to read. We (Mike) and I haven't been to a club yet, but are interested in checking one out that is only 20 mins ride from where we live.

As our interest at this time lies in having a 3some with a female, at least we will know ahead of time that it will have to be us to initiate any contact with possible singles at the club.

Thanks!

[EternallySingle]

The best body language a single in a swing club can have is to be talking to someone (preferably of the opposite sex) and appearing to have a good time. This, combined with looking like you are just there to hang out, will make couples (especially the husband if you are male or wife if you are female) more comfortable with making eye contact with you. If you are sitting at the bar drinking and wondering why you just spent $60.00 on membership fees,waited 6 months for an invitation, then spent $85.00 to get in the door (there is a club in Chicago that does this...just got a letter saying I've been moved back another three months because of extenuating circumstances), you won't be approached by anyone because you are in a bad mood.

My advice to other singles is if you don't have an open minded sexually uninhibited friend of the opposite sex who will attend a club with you, find out EVERYTHING about the club before you even contact them. You have to be comfortable with the rules and restrictions (and there will be restrictions even for single females at clubs that only let couples and single females attend) set for you, or you will begin to feel resentment when you see everyone laughing and talking and having a good time, only to glance at you and turn away when you are slouched over the bar staring into you rum-and-coke while trying to start a conversation with the bartender who's giving you the "I'd do you just to stop you from sulking" look. Or worse, you are scanning the room expectantly, hoping someone won't think you are overly eager, which always leads to the sulking and drinking. It is not like the toga parties in college or the meat market downtown where you can give someone enough drinks and they will talk to you. Couples DON'T NEED ANYONE to have sex with them. They already have someone.

But we already knew that, right? Good.

Class dismissed.

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by OhioCouple
BiloxiCouple, when posting in the Singles forum, one must be sure to use words like "Quite a few", "Most, but not all", "Couples as well as singles", "Females and Males alike", otherwise the tenderfoots get a "nilly in their willy".

I believe any group of people would prefer to not be stereotyped without some disclaimer. For instance..the statement like "black people are uneducated", "fat people are unnatractive", "females are vindicative", "blondes are dumb", "republicans are selfish rich bastards", "guys are assholes", would all generate such "nilly in their willy" responses and maybe righfully so huh? This is not a single guy issue, but a human issue on a board that includes a cross section of many people. It is intentionally provocative (not a good provocative), to lump all of any of these groups into one category. An attempt to just plain shut them up.

Every guy on this board was or is single, and many that are not will be someday. Single men don't want to be categorized negatively any more than any other group of people would like to be. Many of us stand up for our rights, but you would choose to define us as tenderfoots, that get a nilly in their willy. If it were any other group of people methinks you would shout from the highest mountain to defend them.

Your remark was in direct response to my reaction to statements YOU made about single guys, not anyone else. There is no one on this board that has taken it upon themselves to express such distaste toward sinlge male swingers. I saw no reason for the sarcastic response insinuating that guys that defend themselves for being insulted are wimpish, but if everytime someone suggests single guys have problems you choose to blast there defensive posture you are not condoning a good atmosphere on this board, but there is nothing unusual about that after all. Every chance you get you blast someone for something anyhow. Except for the continous flamers you more than anyone attempt to keep animosity in the air, even when it is unprovoked, and I for one am sick of it.

It isn't personal. You have chased a good number of people off this board with your biting remarks. Good single guys, good single gals and good couples. I know this because they keep in touch with me personally. If they are not off the board they absolutely will not dare disagree with you because you take no prisoners,..it is FIRE, AIM, READY.

Yeah some single guys are assholes, pervs, and just plain jerks, however if a moderator slams them as a category (admitting that there may be FEW exceptions), even so very unsuccessfully camaflouged, you will only hear from the flaming jerks, cuz they have thick skins and enjoy to get you riled.

Now its time to play "the oh you overeacted" routine, but ya know what? You did.

John, who has no nilly in his willy.

[jen]

My head is tilted to one side, stink eye is almost at a lethal level, my arms are folded, and most likely I am biting my bottom lip...


Does this language say...."Wow, she is sick to death of the angryness around here"

Well that was hypothetical of course, but it could happen.


http://www.stupid-boy.com/smilies/ot...s/newangel.gif

[Flori_DAMAN]

Originally posted by jen
My head is tilted to one side, stink eye is almost at a lethal level, my arms are folded, and most likely I am biting my bottom lip...


Does this language say...."Wow, she is sick to death of the angryness around here"

Well that was hypothetical of course, but it could happen.


http://www.stupid-boy.com/smilies/ot...s/newangel.gif

Yeah i spose so, but its still a great visual. Just how far out is that bottom lip anyhow?

John

[jen]

so funny

peace, please -- pretty please facelick