No single males? Why not??

[ncmd_couple]

Ya' know, it is amazing to me that this thread is still going after 24 pages. Swinging is all about choices, and only we control those choices. In our case, after being on Swing Lifestyle for only a short period of time, we blocked single males. Not because we do not play with them, but because the ones on there were a pain. So, if you don't want to hear from single males, block them and you don't have to deal with them.

[Wildthingplus]

I only go to clubs that allow single men. In my case I am the only one that plays; my husband watches. I do not like the drama that occurs in couples-only clubs. My experience with single guys has been only positive: They are polite, respectful , and attentive. I love having sex with more than one person in a night; only the clubs that allow single guys provides this opportunity – it just doesn’t happen in a couple-only atmosphere. Clubs that allow single guys as well as couples provide the best mix for everyone: There are plenty of couples for those looking only for couples, yet there are enough single guys to mix things up for people like me.

[ncmd_couple]

Wildthingplus,

I agree with you that the single guys we have met at the clubs have been polite and fun. It is the on-line jerks hiding behind the Internet that are a pain in the butt.

S

[Doug19482000]

Swinger-----Maybe. Swapper Impossible

[Chris&Amelia]

Originally Posted by Wildthingplus

I love having sex with more than one person in a night; only the clubs that allow single guys provides this opportunity – it just doesn’t happen in a couple-only atmosphere.

Oh, I have to disagree with this wholeheartedly.

Two words: "Room Party"

[jimnjan]

We host monthly parties (usually around 150+ people). We allow single males. I will tell you this, on our sign up list, we'll have about 75-100 sign ups, and about 25 of them will be single males...HOWEVER...only about 10 show up! Why, I don't know. But that's what we've found. Some people are NOT looking for single males for whatever reason (personally, I think it's insecurity, cuz they sure as hell are looking for single women, even to the point that they show interest in the couple but tell you they only want the female).

I hate those parties where you have to 'sponsor' single males or ask the hosts permission to bring them. Why? Well, it's no one's business who I'm meeting, and M&G's are a great place to meet them without wasting 2-3 hours of your time and $75 (dinner/drinks). You don't like them, you walk away, harder to do over dinner/drinks.

[Mr.Essex]

If I'd read this thread prior to becoming a single swinger, I would have never entered the lifestyle. But I did, and I'm (possibly) all the better for it.

[mixtupcpl]

Its really awe inspiring that such a basic, common sense, thing has generated years of discussion!

The thing I don't get is why so many single guys feel the need to take this shit so personally. As if they're unaware that the vast majority of guys DO behave like assholes and that a VERY small percentage of men can even CONTEMPLATE this LS outside of them "fucking some dudes wife! huh huh"

My litmus test for single males if that was an interest area for us (it isnt) would be "if/when you get married/attached, do YOU plan to discuss sharing with her?" I wonder how many "single male swingers" would answer yes? My guess? Few. That means we're just on different wavelengths which, for me at least, isnt cool. Now of course some would say YES and mean it. And those guys, to me, are real swingers.

If we decide to let some guy fuck my wife, why wouldnt I want the comfort of another couple I know is like minded and shares our basic belief system on it?

For the single guys who can't get past these simple, fundamental, realities, just stick with the ladies (who ARE out there), who are into the MMMMMMMMMMM gang bang kink or the cuck guys (who I *think* may be really out there) who just want their wife serially fucking.

Interesting to note, though, that those two particular kinks above seem to be HUGE pay site fodder which makes me think they appeal to the fantasy of lots of horny, single, guys whacking off in the dark which makes me wonder how many REAL couples are into those lifestyles. But still, I KNOW there are some, and Im sure those areas offer the least barrier to entry for a desperate single (cant be too selective when the goal is for the wife to fuck most of the east coast before her 40th bday ).

The other thing is that most of this shit doesnt apply at all to most of the SM here who seem genuinely thoughtful and respectful of the ladies, the LS and the husbands and you guys should know that. Just by registering here, posting thoughtful comments, and sticking around, you're already WAY WAY ahead of "normal" guys. For guys like that, any couple that seeks a SM to add some spice will be happy to consider you, but you WILL have to fight through ALL of that noise mentioned above. Thats just how it is.

[Chris&Amelia]

You know, funny that you mention that, mixtucpl. True story...

I've been talking to a friend of ours. We've known her and her husband for 11+ years, and they're the only vanilla couple that knows we're swingers. Well, she's been picking my brain on the entire "swinging" thing, and she has admitted to me (like I couldn't figure it out) that she's interested in trying it.

This is no surprise to me... ever since I've known her, I know she's had a fairly liberated view on sex*.

So one day she's talking to me and she says "Hey, we discussed it and we're interested in trying it out. You know, taking it slow at first."

Me: "Great! You can come with Amelia and I to the next Meet & Greet if you like, maybe meet some new people, make some new friends.**"

Her: "Well... uh...."

Me: "What's up?"

Her: "We we wondering if you guys could... you know... show us the ropes."

Me: "Uh. Wow. I don't know, I would have to discuss that with Amelia."

Her: (looking a little uncomfortable)

Me: "You want to say something?"

Her: "Well... he says that he couldn't stand to see me with another guy, so he was wondering if it could be a threesome... you know... Amelia and us."

So, long story short, while he's a nice guy, and we consider both of them good friends, he wants to have sex with my wife and not share in return. I think it has more to do with jealousy then selfishness, but I could be wrong.

As promised, I discussed it with Amelia, and we agreed that she really wasn't interested in a threesome with them, especially if I was going to be left out of the loop. But I referred them to Swing Lifestyle on the off-chance they could find a single female, and our offer to take them to a M&G still stands, but it appears that their consideration into the Lifestyle ended with our rejection of their "offer".

* - No, we never hooked up.
** - Would we play with them? I don't know. They're an attractive, young couple. But... well... we've known them for so long. It would be weird.

[mixtupcpl]

Wow! That one is tough. My wife and I have always had a kind of "no preexisting friends" thing. Plus, I have a ton of hard-up, perpetually single, friends who I'm sure would love to line up. Luckily she's not into any of them so it was never an issue

It seems like it has to get weird. You handled that really well though! I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and imagine my reaction. LOL. I think it would have been more along the lines of "are you KIDDING me?!"

Im sure it was more jealousy than selfishness though. I have no scientific data, but I suspect that the percentage of guys who are confident enough and secure enough in themselves and their relationship to handle this is VERY low.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Chris&Amelia

Her: "Well... he says that he couldn't stand to see me with another guy, so he was wondering if it could be a threesome... you know... Amelia and us."

Wow that takes some guts to ask

Its sort of telling that he didn't ask you but she did too. I think you are right in that the wife is really interested in the whole concept and her husband isn't. So he puts it on his wife to ask, and only if its another woman involved.

Its one of those misconceptions out there in the vanilla world which confuses swingers with open marriages. The fact that some swingers are into that sort of thing and its pretty typical in a 'dear penthouse letters' type of story only reinforces the stereotype.