No single males? Why not??

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by wetpanties

We think there might be a decent single male out there but we haven't found any. The ones we've met were obnoxious, pushy sob's and we won't go anyplace that invites them.

I don't blame you one damn bit. When I was involved in this as part of a couple, we didn't go to them either, for many of the same reasons you cited. Call it the "Groucho Marx maxim" or whatever, but it's the main reason I don't go to them now..."I wouldn't attend any club that would have me as a member"

However... whether it's your cup of tea or not, there are couples who occasionally enjoy a single male. I think that for those people the search for the right one can be extremely tedious, and is probably exacerbated by the fact that they tend to look for them in the traditional places, I.E., swing clubs and websites. I would think that finding one there is like finding a good job in the want ads. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but based on what I've seen, I'm just skeptical, that's all.

(I'm sure somebody will say what a "great single male" they found at a swing club, and I have no reason to contradict them. After all, I once knew somebody that secured a "really great job" in fast-food management from an application that was printed on the back of their tray liner. It was a "really great job"...for them)

Long before swinging became the politically correct name - this activity was called "wife swapping".

It doesn't matter what it's called, "A rose by any other name would still be a rose," This is still an activity that's rooted primarily on the needs both men and women have for variety in their sexual relationships, while preserving their primary, emotional bond with each other. Who, other than another couple who's facing the same dilemma, can better understand those needs or the responsibilities and limitations that being in the lifestyle imposes?

Single males would be similar to going to a high stakes card game with no money. They have nothing to swap, nothing to loose and everything to gain.

It would seem that way, but I believe that the presence of single males does bring something to the swinging enviornment, although what they bring is intangible, and therefore, unappreciated. Any woman knows that when a man is faced with "competition," he will respond by becoming more attentive to her...we're all much better lovers and companions when we know we can be replaced. In addition, it's been fairly well-documented that a mans orgasm will become more powerful and produce a greater quantity of ejaculate when other males are present and available to the female as well. So, while you may detest single males in the swinging enviornment, you ought consider thanking them instead. You're having more and better orgasms because of them.

There's another way you, as a husband, benefits by having "extra" guys around, and that is that by having other men show an interest in your wife, she becomes more confidant in her ability to please whatever man (or men) she ultimately chooses. Women, especially middle-aged women, are often full of self-doubt about their bodies and their ability to attract men. That's especially true in swing clubs where there always seem to be younger, prettier women around. If you believe (as I do) that a women of any age who feels sexy is sexy, then what better way to boost her ego than by having a half-dozen young guys on the other side of the room who would "do her in a New York second" if offered the chance?

In short, her sexual self-confidence translates into good sex for you. Your knowing that she's desireable to other men translates into good sex for her. It's a win/win.

(Well, except for the poor single-schmucks that got you two all wound-up in the first place, but that's a different subject)

When comparing single males to paupers trying to enter a high-stakes card game, remember that not all single males are created equal. "Young, attractive, fit, single males" seem to be moderately successful in some swing clubs, while "old, ugly, fat single males" almost never are. What those successful males are "bringing to the table" isn't another woman for you to fuck, it's an attractive, personable young man for your wife to fuck. Judging from what I've seen of the single guys who DO score at clubs and the married women they're scoring with, I'd say it's the guys, by and large, who are on the short end of the deal. (Just a personal note, and one more reason I don't go to clubs alone)

So, back to your analogy about card games...while I don't have the balls or the money to be seated at a "high stakes poker game," I'm sure that were I "Jenna Jameson" or "Jeanine Lindemuller," I would have no trouble finding somebody to stake me.

[HappyPeople]

A single person, be it male or female, just isn't our thing... We're more into the whole "puppy pile" type of sexual interaction. A single person just doesn't do it for us.

One thing about the single guys that does get annoying is that dispite our very friendly "No single guys" mention in our profiles, they continue to email and attempt chat. Why don't some of them get it? The sinlge males that suffer from "Male Pattern Optimism" and pester folks who aren't interested in them probably give the good and decent guys a bad rep.

[Paphian]

Originally Posted by HappyPeople

The sinlge males that suffer from "Male Pattern Optimism" and pester folks who aren't interested in them probably give the good and decent guys a bad rep.

Ain't no "probably" about it.

[NLAngel]

Our issue (husband and I) living in Portland, is the amount of "gay" single males that respond to our ads feigning interest in me and going to the swing parties. My husband is really good at weeding out the losers who respond to the ad, but underneath it all want to get it on with Brett... So, finding a male that is part of a hetero couple is a good way for us to find a straight guy straight off......

[longmale]

Male Looking For Some Fun

[Alura]

Thank you, Longmale, for an excellent example of why single men have a tough time in the lifestyle. TeeHee.

Mr. Alura

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by Alura

Thank you, Longmale, for an excellent example of why single men have a tough time in the lifestyle. TeeHee.

Mr. Alura

So true Mr. Alura

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by longmale

Male Looking For Some Fun

Disneyland is probably open today...

Thrax

[visaman]

Instead of MFM, how about spicing things up with MMF? Anywho, I have been at orgies, and gangbangs, but I have a partner, and we are going to our first couples only party this month. She is older (late 40's) and almost all of her teeth are missing, but she has a great rack, she is nervous, but willing!

[visaman]

Originally Posted by NLAngel

Our issue (husband and I) living in Portland, is the amount of "gay" single males that respond to our ads feigning interest in me and going to the swing parties. My husband is really good at weeding out the losers who respond to the ad, but underneath it all want to get it on with Brett... So, finding a male that is part of a hetero couple is a good way for us to find a straight guy straight off......

I was in Portland this April, I will have to go back to catch all that I missed. Do you go to the Jefferson?

Why are "gay" men losers? That's Homophobic talk if I ever heard it, and besides more likely bi than gay almost 100%. Tell your hubby to Try it, you'll like it!

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by visaman

Why are "gay" men losers? That's Homophobic talk if I ever heard it, and besides more likely bi than gay almost 100%. Tell your hubby to Try it, you'll like it!

NLAngel did not say that gay men are losers. She is labeling as "losers" the guys that contact them and feign interest in her, but appear to be more interested in getting in her husband's pants. There is no way you can tell from that post that she might be homophobic, but it seems to me that she and her husband are liar-phobic.

From her post, it seems abvious that her husband is not interested in MM play, and she supports him in that. And maybe he doesn't want to "try it" because he isn't interested in it.

Thrax
P.S. And I apologize to some longtime posters if I have now encouraged ANOTHER flogging of that poor, dead horse...

[Sweet_Candy]

Originally Posted by Thrax

P.S. And I apologize to some longtime posters if I have now encouraged ANOTHER flogging of that poor, dead horse...

Well I guess since "dreaded" doesn't come to mind when I think "Thrax" we can overlook the flogging this time. Watch it bud you're on notice! :rollseyes

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by visaman

Instead of MFM, how about spicing things up with MMF? Anywho, I have been at orgies, and gangbangs, but I have a partner, and we are going to our first couples only party this month. She is older (late 40's) and almost all of her teeth are missing, but she has a great rack, she is nervous, but willing!

[3sumff]

Very simple....were just not interested in the other male factor.

[prettylady]

I understand why the single males appear to be frustrated and at times angry. For the most part the gentlemen on this thread have been trying desperatly to make a vaild point. Sadly on a couple of occations they have been made guilty by association. I have seen throughout this bourd about threesomes. I for one am not interested in being one of two females in a threesome. Dog has suggested a threesome with another man (NO!! he is not gay or bi. he just wants me to be pleased) But how do we find another man, without the other woman being left out??? Perhaps a single guy? I for one would like to know that there are single men here to chat and get to know before commiting to this act. By the way, so I don't sound like I am selfish. I will not agree to a MFM because I can not agree to a FMF. It is not my cup of tea.
I hope this thread has not driven the gentlemen away from this forum. But that one guy with single male posting is welcome to leave as far as I am convcerned. Your 0.02 wasn't worth it.
Your freind,
Prettylady