No single males? Why not??

[hilltop]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

I think single males play a part in swinging, it is just up to the couples to determine the type of guy they are looking for and go from there. I treat them the same way I treat looking for couples: do i feel any attraction, do I get any creepy vibes, do I enjoy being around them. If all systems are go then hold on, if not, then move on.

Well said!

I see couples the same way. An opportunity presented is not necessarily an opportunity taken. It has a whole bunch o' factors. When it's right for everyone then whooohooo! If not, that's life . . .

It's one of the biggest attractions of swinging for me. I'm not looking to start
a relationship either. Be it hot casual or including some level of friendship, it's a time of intimacy between people and that's always nice.

[nhcpl1968]

My husband and I ,been swing on and off for about 12 yrs , We stop after few into swing. The resond is , My husband and I had a single male friends who we both knew , I had my 2 males , One day the single male showed up at my door one evening. My husband wasn't home he was at work , I let this person in becouse i knew him. He took advantage , while husband wasn't home. I was raped by this person. ..... My husband and I stop swinging becouse of what happened. My husband and I just started again about 9months ago , We both talk very hard , We just start be friends with other cpl and single female. We both agree no single males for time being. Mrs.nhcpl1968

[Wellwhatever]

Sometimes we just wonder "if you're such a great guy, why don't you have a wife or girlfriend"

Single men are single because of what single and married women do to damage marriage and relationships.

While we're at it, why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

[Perseus]

Originally Posted by Wellwhatever

Single men are single because of what single and married women do to damage marriage and relationships.

While we're at it, why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

Or even ask if hat couple has such a great relationship, why are the looking for others? Must be to fix thier bad relationship... right?

/sacasam off

Of course I don't belive that. I say it to point out that everyone has thier reasons for where they are in life.

Perseus

[BlueberryHillCp]

i think single men derserve a chance to prove themselves. not all single men act like jerks. i met a really great single man, and now he is the love of my life. yes i agree most single men do act like jerks, and treat women as sex objects, i've dealt with my share of them over the years. lets give the single men a chance to prove themselves to be descent........

[dudleydoesit2]

I'm widowed now and I'm not about to get married again. My wife and I were active in the lifestyle for more than 18 years and enjoyed it immensely but, since I no longer live in the same location, our old acquaintances are too far distant and although I would like to continue these activities, I have found that single males are more or less ignored on the swinger sites. Looking back on things, while three was our favorite number, the threesomes we had were virtually always with a male or female who was part of a couple that we had previously partied with and the other spouse always knew and approved. Bringing in a single woman was a frequent occurance but it was a rare occasion that we would ever bring a single male into the mix. Now that I'm on the single male end of the stick, although I'm greatly disappointed at the lack of acceptance, I do understand why I'm on the outside looking in.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Wellwhatever

While we're at it, why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

I remember, when I was a kid, a joke that got told around my house. Of course, I didn't get it as a kid, but for some reason it has always stuck with me... Maybe it has been in my memory for a post like this...

A little boy and a little girl decide to play doctor. She shows him her's - and then he shows her his. She is shocked - having never seen a penis before.

"I want one!" She says - and the boy just laughs.

"It's mine," He says, laughing meanly. "You can't have one!"

The girl stomps off upset...

The next day, she sees the liitle boy again and she starts laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" He asks.

She points at her "girl part" and says, "I told my mom that we played doctor and that I wanted a penis. I told her you said I couldn't have one. But she said as long as I have one of these, I can have any one of those I want."



It's not really a fair question now is it?

Spoomonkey

[EternallySingle]

For those of you that didn't get it, single women swing because 75% of the time they are going to have sex with the person/people they want to have sex with. In fact, women can do that without swinging. Unfortunately, I helped a married woman cheat this summer. I found out she was married when she called to cancel our date because her husband decided to join her for the weekend. When she tried to confront me after I said I didn't want to see her again, she said that she and her husband have a deal. During the summer the kids go to summer camp and they do what they want, no questions, no explainations. That was cool...for them. I cancelled dinner with an ex-girlfriend because I was supposed to go out with miss Open Marriage. Of course, when I called the other woman to say I was free, she had found someone else to go to dinner with.

For women it is almost that easy. Men typically have to look for someone to have sex with. Women typically only have to choose from who is available. Different actions, same amount of difficulty. For men, the problem is being taken seriously. For women its knowing who is serious and capable, but its rarely finding someone who is willing. A woman that works at having sex with a particular man is either trying to match schedules or trying to convince him to take her seriously...and she won't do either for long unless she is tunnel vision hire a private investigator to follow him can't sleep because she wants to know where he is every moment has a three hundred dollar a month cell phone bill because she calls him every fifteen minutes in love.

[tribbles]

why don't people ask of the sought-after single female what's her hidden problem -- if she's so great, why doesn't she have a husband or boyfriend??? Seems like a fair question.

This question was asked and just FYI...we have actually started asking this question since we have had more drama from being with a single gal than all the males put together.

It makes us think there is something to the swinging is for couples concept.

[guteman]

I guess we were lucky! Our first was with a very respectful, intelligent single male. He was so great, we returned the next day! He was very cool to the mrs. and made her feel special. It was his first MMF too. Unfotunately, he moved away a couple of day later. We keep in touch, just in case he should ever come back for a visit. The mrs. had the best orgasm I have ever seen. I hope the rest of you can have the experience we had. I think it's unfair to group all single males in the "scmuck" categorie.

[tmbttd]

Re. Single Guys...this is what I wrote to BettyAnn's comments: "As my profile indicates I am married but I also categorically state that my wife and I have swung together and separately. Since my wife has and is battling a most difficult menapause heightened by a recent total hystorectomy, and cannot take traditional hormone supplements because she is succeptible to migraine headache and they ascerbate that problem, but more importantly she is being treated for ovarian cancer. A once, very sexually vibrant woman is so only in her mind and memories. As noted in my profile it was MY wife who noted that I seemed "out of sorts" and as we've always been tremendously open and frank in our union-in-marriage-in-friendship-in-each other, she picked up on the fact that I missed sex and even missed the social aspects of the lifestyle. We have moved to a different state and been here for some 8 years now and have only travelled to be with old friends back from where we came...meaning we have not made any new lifestyle relationships here. Consequently my wife suggested I open up a profile on the Swingers Board, be most candid in my profile and see what happens. Of course I am acutely aware that non-coupled men are way, way down on the totem pole of other couples and groups invitations.
Anyway, I just wanted to share with you that there are some situations that are NOT part of the mold one normally associates with being a couple or a "single" male.
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest." Situation #1 is NOT always Situation #2.

[wetpanties]

We think there might be a decent single male out there but we haven't found any. The ones we've met were obnoxious, pushy sob's and we won't go anyplace that invites them. Single males are all over and easy to find if someone is looking for one. Long before swinging became the politically correct name - this activity was called "wife swapping". Single males would be similar to going to a high stakes card game with no money. They have nothing to swap, nothing to loose and everything to gain.

[curiousagain]

I always thought wife swapping was a part of swinging or one thing that some swingers do. If a couple has a FMF with a single female, it's hardly wife swapping, but people would call it swinging. Everybody has their own perceptions, no harm, no foul.

[hilltop]

Originally Posted by wetpanties

We think there might be a decent single male out there but we haven't found any. The ones we've met were obnoxious, pushy sob's and we won't go anyplace that invites them. Single males are all over and easy to find if someone is looking for one. Long before swinging became the politically correct name - this activity was called "wife swapping". Single males would be similar to going to a high stakes card game with no money. They have nothing to swap, nothing to loose and everything to gain.

There’s poor behavior on both sides of the field.

I think if you read through some of the other posts on this board you’ll find couples that only swing with single males or females because the hassle and drama surrounding couples is more than they’re willing to deal with. As a single male I’ve certainly encountered rude, pushy, obnoxious behavior from many couples as well.

So using your anecdotal approach, do I make the determination that couples are not worth the effort you have to put into meeting them? No. I prefer to gain a perspective on others as individuals knowing I’ll have to take the good with the bad. Welcome to life.

Sure, we have plenty to lose. Being treated rudely and with disrespect on a regular basis with complete disregard whether offense is being given. Constantly being relegated to some “sub class” only there for the pleasure of the couple. Most of this is experienced with no “gain” whatsoever.

If swinging with single males is not your thing, then don’t. Pretty easy eh?

Curiousagain is right; wife swapping is one part of swinging not its only definition.

Back in the 70’s and 80’s (before the PC craze) we always called ourselves swingers. In our area wife swapping was the term used by people who were not in the lifestyle.

[Dynamar]

Originally Posted by hilltop

Sure, we have plenty to lose. Being treated rudely and with disrespect on a regular basis with complete disregard whether offense is being given. Constantly being relegated to some “sub class” only there for the pleasure of the couple. Most of this is experienced with no “gain” whatsoever.

And the behavior is sometimes not just directed at single males, but single females as well. Points well taken, hilltop.