No single males? Why not??

[Mr.Hyde69]

I'll be honest with you guys. If Iwere a single male the last thing in the world I would want to do is swing given the attitudes of a lot of the couples and the utter lack of value that is placed on my ilk that is generally promoted in "the life style". I actually find it rather amusing that couples and EBF's often will place themselves so far above single males in swinging. I guess it's kind of like high school in some respects. Looking back on the most popular people in school, I realized that alot of the cheerleaders/ popular girls had flat or fat/wide asses, flat/unattractive chests, non-remarkable/unnattractive faces and the only thing that they had going for them was possibly good hair and their status. Somewhere along the way these people were catapulted for some ungodly reason into social privelege. And even though most of the school didnt suffer from any major terminal visual impairment, everybody lusted after these people. These folks though undeservedly, had their pick of the litter so to speak. In alot of respects I think that couples and single females are the group sex equivalent of them. Some single males do bring alot of their woes upon themselves but in general I think they get a bad rap often unfairly. My wife and I just deactivated the last of our online profiles due to undesirables who didnt have a clue contacting us. The thing is that the undesirables were not for the most part single males. They were mostly couples. Overall with the exception of one guy in particular, we found the single males demeanor on average far more considerate and conducive than the couples. It has been our experience that there are just as many if not slightly more creepy couples out there than single males contact per contact. There are just more single males in general. Singles can be weird but there is a certain level of distburbing that a really messed up and freaky couple can achieve that a single just can't touch. But that is just our opinion and you know what they say about those.

[Mr.Hyde69]

After re-reading my late night post I thought I would go ahead an issue a disclaimer before someone flames me. I do not think that all couples and single females have a sense of superiority to single males. Just like all single males arent clueless creeps that are just looking for easy pussy. It's just something that if you really pay attention to all of the intricacies of the social dynamics in group sex/swinging environments you dont have to look very far or hard to witness that kind of mentality. We personally like swingers of all classifications equally. We believe that s. males,s. females and couples all have their pros and cons but each catagory is of fairly equal value to us sexually. If I insulted anyone it really wasnt my intention to do so. I just hate to see any group (especially underdogs so to speak) getting picked on/ganged up on.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Mr.Hyde69

After re-reading my late night post I thought I would go ahead an issue a disclaimer before someone flames me. I do not think that all couples and single females have a sense of superiority to single males. Just like all single males arent clueless creeps that are just looking for easy pussy. It's just something that if you really pay attention to all of the intricacies of the social dynamics in group sex/swinging environments you dont have to look very far or hard to witness that kind of mentality. We personally like swingers of all classifications equally. We believe that s. males,s. females and couples all have their pros and cons but each catagory is of fairly equal value to us sexually. If I insulted anyone it really wasnt my intention to do so. I just hate to see any group (especially underdogs so to speak) getting picked on/ganged up on.

So are you a single male? Cuz your profile says Couple, yet your post leads me to believe that "my ilk" is referring to single males.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Mr.Hyde69

If Iwere a single male the last thing in the world I would want to do is swing given the attitudes of a lot of the couples and the utter lack of value that is placed on my ilk that is generally promoted in "the life style". I actually find it rather amusing that couples and EBF's often will place themselves so far above single males in swinging.

The thing that everybody needs to remember is that no matter what our current "relationship status" is, it's only a heartbeat away from changing drastically. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm at that point in life where I see guys my age starting to drop dead, or come down with ailments that affect their ability to have or enjoy sex. I also see women starting to go through menopause, or undergoing surgery that leaves them unwilling to be seen naked by other people. Sometimes, there are no health issues whatsoever...one of them simply loses interest in sex years before the other. The bottom line is the same...somebody is left with physical needs and desires, but no partner to satisfy them.

By the same token, I date frequently in the vanilla world. And while I'm not exactly "the catch of the day," there are usually a few reasonably attractive, open-minded women who are trying to cut me from the pack. I suspect that sooner or later one of 'em will do precisely that, and Viola!, a formerly "despicable single guy" will become half of a "fun, dynamic couple."

Better get us NOW, people! Before you have to pass the scrutiny of our new wives/girlfriends...

On another note, you're right...the only thing that made some kids popular in school was the fact that they believed they were popular, and they had us believeing it too. Going to my 20-year high school reunion and seeing what losers some of them had become cleared a lot of that up for me...

[SBcpl]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So are you a single male? Cuz your profile says Couple, yet your post leads me to believe that "my ilk" is referring to single males.

Hi Julie...

If you reread his post the sentence you're refering to says...

Originally Posted by Mr.Hyde69

If Iwere a single male the last thing in the world I would want to do is swing given the attitudes of a lot of the couples and the utter lack of value that is placed on my ilk that is generally promoted in "the life style".

I've added the emphasis to the postulate that I think he intended to apply to the entire rest of that sentence. When he says "my ilk" he's speaking as though he were a single male, even though in real life he is not.

But that's just my interpretation.

~ B ~

[Mr.Hyde69]

You need to re-read my post. I said if I "were' a single male. I was speaking in the first person as if I were one. As far as your suspicions regarding my marital status, my wife of 12 years would probably have something to say about that one. I actually find it a bit strange that one would automatically assume/imply I was possibly misrepresenting myself. Though I'm painfully aware of how rampant misrepresentation is within the online swinger community(another reason for deactivating our profiles) I don't see the motivation for anyone doing so here. This is a message board,not a personals site.
You don't have to be a single male to defend one. I am a male and I'm only a divorce or death away from being a single one so it is not necessarily too far of a stretch of the imagination to be able to put myself in ones place.

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by WoodyInSoCal

Thank you Mrs-naughty, I am new to the blog world and probably haven't figured out how to make myself clearly understood.

Woody,
I've been wandering around message boards for awhile now and there is NO way not to be misunderstood at times. The lack of voice tone and body language leads to a difficult time with being clearly understood. Don't sweat it, just correct it when necessary and move on.

As for the topic of single males....I LOVE them...there just is not enough time to meet them all! And I do want to go to clubs and meet couples as well, since that will be more fun for both of us.

Woody has handled himself so well on this thread, we just might have to try out his parties. (Although we are such newbies I don't know if we would fit in).

the female tribble

[JustAskJulie]

Thanks for clearing that up. As tribbles said it's impossible to not be misunderstood at times, and I'm sure that reading your post you can see where I got confused.

[SBcpl]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Woody has handled himself so well on this thread, we just might have to try out his parties.

We're pleased to take credit for having introduced Woody to this Board. And, based on our first hand experience, we can attest to the fact that he is every bit the gentleman who goes far out of his way to ensure that a lady's every desire is fulfilled.

~ A & B ~

[marvelousmarv]

Originally Posted by EternallySingle

Sometimes we just wonder "if you're such a great guy, why don't you have a wife or girlfriend"

Ok, I've heard a lot of valid reasons so far but that one just is so 1800s. I don't swing primarily because of people who throw around statements like that.

I have nothing against people who say they prefer not to meet with single men because they don't feel they have nothing to contribute to their swinging experience, but when you start criticizing why we are single, you are insulting those of us who had to make hard decisions concerning family or business responsibilities and those of us who became single due to the death of a loved one.

And who says that because we are men we HAVE to find someone else after a breakup or tragedy? I don't see you making that same judgement about women. Don't go there with us unless you want to have your reasons for swinging questioned as well.

About Time!! How come we get this crap every time a single tries to get involved? As a single male that lost the only woman that I ever wanted to be married to because of her untimely death, I can only agree. The other comments that I have been reading sure do try to explain the vast majority of opinions about us guys that are not married. To be honest, at my age I don't want to be restricted or sadled with a woman that has screwball priorities other then Mine! At my income level and age, it no longer matters what others think. It sometimes makes me wonder how any of you ever held a meaningful relationship period.

Originally Posted by marvelousmarv

About Time!! How come we get this crap every time a single tries to get involved? As a single male that lost the only woman that I ever wanted to be married to because of her untimely death, I can only agree. The other comments that I have been reading sure do try to explain the vast majority of opinions about us guys that are not married. To be honest, at my age I don't want to be restricted or sadled with a woman that has screwball priorities other then Mine! At my income level and age, it no longer matters what others think. It sometimes makes me wonder how any of you ever held a meaningful relationship period.

How come we get this crap every time a single tries to get involved?

Maybe you are looking for the wrong couples or maybe your approach isn't right.

At my income level and age, it no longer matters what others think.

Why should it ever matter? Be who you are, Fuck what others think.

It sometimes makes me wonder how any of you ever held a meaningful relationship period.

Kind of a bitter statement isn't it?

We are all here for a common interest. I think you will find MOST here are open to single men joining the disscussions and some are open to single men period, as long as they are honest & respectful.

[curiousagain]

I don't think it sounds bitter. I think he is just pointing out that if someone is so quick to judge and so inflexible in their perceptions and narrow minded in their beliefs it would be difficult to meet someone and have a meaningful relationship. If a person thinks only losers aren't presently married they have a problem of perception.

I will be the first to admit that far too many single males earn and deserve their bad reputation. But, it's true that jerks come in all genders, sexual orientations, and marriage status. Some of the biggest jerks I have met in the lifestyle both male and female, have been in a married couple relationship . I know some married males in the lifestyle that if not part of a couple couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a sack full of Fifty dollar bills. Yet, they act as if they are "better" than single males and treat their wives as property. I have had couples contact me and send me photos that made me nauseous rather than intrigued, much less horny, then act offended and send abusive emails when I politely declined their invitation. Could these have just been 15 year olds getting their jollies? Perhaps. But then, so might many of the "single males" acting like jerks on the internet.

What about the clubs? I hear of couples arriving then playing separately as if they are singles, but then the male brought a female so he has his ticket and thinks he is owed sex by females who aren't interested. But, they're married, so it's OK. After all, he's married, he couldn't be a jerk. I read of couples complaining that they can't find a single male who can "get it up" with the wife. If the only common denominator in these serial scenarios of failure to perform is the couple, then maybe it isn't the single males that are the problem. Is the male acting as if he owns the wife or the single male? Maybe this is a turn off to the single male. Perhaps the wife is not as attractive to the single male as to the husband. Love is blind and often deaf, lust is not. It is far easier to decry the sad state of affairs with the population of single males than to stare into the mirror and search for the problem.

What makes a single swinging male/female different from a married swinging male/female other than a mate? Not a lot. They are jerks or good people irregardless of their marital status. Try to judge people individually and not because they are part of a group. And, realize that different people will have different perspectives, partially because of their own experiences, and we are all at least partially to credit or blame for our own experiences. If you have met mostly jerks and another couple have met mostly great guys maybe they are doing things differently than you or they have something to offer that you don't. If you are having to rent an apartment and buy a convert to get laid and somebody else is not, maybe there's a reason for that. We often find just what we expect to find in any situation or group and are surprised at others who find something entirely different under the same circumstances. Sometimes it's just in how you look at it or what you look for.

[dirtwr04]

Here is what happens at a club allowing single guys. There will be a lot of couples talking with each other and having a good time, some couples "intimately" playing around (mostly by themselves sometimes with another couple), a handful of well mannered, civil, respectful single guys who are hoping to get lucky and a significant number of single guys who will swarm a couple like flies on shit if they are engaged in any affectionate embrace even if it is only making out and some petting. Single men tend to invade the girl's comfort zone and or touch without invitation or permission and or make inappropriate comments. Single guys tend to think that all women in the club are there for the sole purpose of being f**ked by them.

I have to respect a guy who acknowledges me and treats my girl with the respect she deserves. She's not into guys (other than me) but I know she's hot and I can't blame a guy for appreciating her, however, hell will freeze over before I allow a guy to touch her without her permission. What single guys typically fail to realize is couples tend to respect the sacred feminine, women are treated like goddesses and their boyfriends or husbands enjoy the benefits. Single guys often treat women like meat confusing sexual confidence with whorishness. Lets be honest, these girls can get laid anywhere, anytime - these girls don't need a single guy to grace them with his presence. If a girl wants some cock she can get it from the guy she came with (who tends to respect her), from some other girl's guy who will also tend to respect her, or she can get it from some single guy who treats her like shit. If you were a girl who would you chose. There are a scant few who would pick number three. That number is further reduced becuase there are a lot of girls who only want to play with girls. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason - because their are a statistically significant number of a population that exhibit some trait, not to say their aren't decent single guys out there, it is just that they are so out numbered by jerks who make the girls uncomfortable. After seeing the difference between clubs that allow single guys and those that don't, we will not go to an event with single guys unless they are sponsored by a couple. There is no benefit for us to go to a venue where single guys are allowed but there are a lot of benefits for us as a couple at events where they are not allowed. A lot of couples feel the same way which is evident at clubs which have restricted nights - check out the attendance at the same club on a "no single guys" night and there will be a lot more couples and single girls. If a single guy wants to be successful here are some tips. One, befriend the guy she came with. Two, treat her like a goddess. Three, never, never, never invader her personal space or touch her without her permission. Four, the time to get with her is not when she is already being intimate with someone, it was an hour prior to that when she was on the dance floor or at the bar. Five, go with a sense of humor, and humility because even if you follow my tips and are good looking you will probably go through a lot of rejection - and like it or not the hotter the girl the more likely a single guy will get rejected.

Originally Posted by curiousagain

I don't think it sounds bitter. I think he is just pointing out that if someone is so quick to judge and so inflexible in their perceptions and narrow minded in their beliefs it would be difficult to meet someone and have a meaningful relationship. If a person thinks only losers aren't presently married they have a problem of perception.

Curious,
My point on being bitter was that he said he wonders if Any of us has ever had a meaningful relationship.

That is a bit all inclusive don't ya think?

There are plenty on this board who are very friendly and helpful with just about everyone here. There are plenty here who have very solid meaningful relationships.
Because some are not open to single men is no reason to judge or attack their character or relationship. Painting everyone with the same brush is also niave.

[curiousagain]

Dirtwr04, I don't blame you for not going to a club that allows singles. That isn't what you seek so why put up with any aggravation whatsoever about it? From all of the complaints I have seen on here about clubs, I have no interest in attending one, period, much less as a single male. Just in foursome situations, I have seen married males treat the female I came with as if they had no respect for them. They had an attitude that they were owed whatever they wanted. I don't tolerate that kindof behavior either and I completely understand your feeling onit. I am sorry you chose to create a new ID rather than use your real one.

Mrs. Naughty, I think he just meant the people who think because someone isn't married at this moment, they can't get married. I may be wrong, but that's the way I understood it.