Why are there so few single females

[Roxysbayou]

Well, all I have to say is good luck. Single women are scarce in this lifestyle. You might do better by trying to find a girlfriend from outside of the lifestyle and introducing her to it.

[Bob123]

Why do you think that is Roxy? Other than the reasons you gave before. Is it just that women like a challenge and men are no challenge in the lifestyle? Do you think women are more into monogamy and men are more into polygamy or being polyamorous (you know whatever the word is to being with more than one person sexually). Is it harder for women to seperate sex and love? Or is it just that women think that people will loose respect for them?

[Roxysbayou]

Originally posted by Bob123
Why do you think that is Roxy? Other than the reasons you gave before. Is it just that women like a challenge and men are no challenge in the lifestyle? Do you think women are more into monogamy and men are more into polygamy or being polyamorous (you know whatever the word is to being with more than one person sexually). Is it harder for women to seperate sex and love? Or is it just that women think that people will loose respect for them?

Bob, I think that you answered your own question with your questions. I do think that women have a harder time seperating sex from love. A lot of that has to do with how we were brought up. Good little girls don't do that kind of stuff.

And part of it is that women get the "slut" stigma if they are in any way sexual outside of marriage.

It sucks, but it's the way that we are percieved by most of the world.

[Bob123]

Ok then, Who is pushing this agenda? Who benefits from teaching this to girls? Who benefits by treating women this way? Did men start it along time ago cause they were sick of not knowing who's children were who's?

[Tarnished Halo]

Bob, society in general is responsible for making sure that we raise boys and girls different. Intentions being well meant, we as parents unknowingly foster the differences in how we treat our kids. Most of us that is. Of course, let's stir things up a bit by being hypocrites with our religious teachings, and finally confuse the hell out of us by giving us the contrasting morals that Hollywood tosses in, and no wonder we are all pretty well messed up. I had a reputation in high school as a slut. You couldn't have found a more wholesome kid than I was. It was the beliefs about someone who didn't quite fit the mold that made me deserving of that title. (BTW I didn't even have sex until after I was out of school. Scheech)
Being the sheepel that we are, we all looked around to see what the other guy was doing and tried to do the same. Then we took what we had "gleaned" about being a good person (and I have never ever met a person who "tried" to be a bad person. Ever meet someone who will tell you they are a bad driver?) from what we could figure out about the messages that we were getting, and thought that was "normal", and tried to be it.
No one is going to break this pattern for a long long time. We can make a difference in the world by so many things. I am trying in my own way, in my world to reduce the amount of crap that I allow in, and allow to affect my family. I know, good luck me! This board is one way in which we can redefine marriage and sexuality. I for one really don't know if I am going to be able to do this, but for the most part, I'd trust these people way before I would my local community leaders to look out for my well being.

[jen]

Good little girls don't do that kind of stuff.

I'm innocent!

I am. <EG>

[JustAskJulie]

I split this off from the thread it originated in because I felt it would make a good discussion in it's own right.... so fire away.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Roxysbayou
Well, all I have to say is good luck. Single women are scarce in this lifestyle. You might do better by trying to find a girlfriend from outside of the lifestyle and introducing her to it.

Discreet, I have to agree with Roxy's advice. Finding a single swinging female is hard enough for the couples in this lifestyle, let alone for a single male.

Most of us have come into the lifestyle after many years together as partners, those that enter it singly don't seem to fare as well as couples do, specifically single men as there are so many of them out there to choose from and most couples desire other couples. (my observation)

[Bob123]

I see Tarnished Halo. I have to say that as a man I have had some uncomfortable sexaul situations. Also that as a man or boy I should say you get made fun of if you don't get alot of girls. People will even say a guy is gay and make fun of him if he doesn't have a girlfriend.

I see what you are saying about being called a slut and never even having sex.

I can remember some drop dead gorgious girls who everyone wanted. They would sleep with all kinds of guys. No one would call them a slut though. All the guys wanted to be nice so maybe they would get a turn. And the girls seemed like they were always being nice to them.

I read somewhere where some ahh evolutionary scientist or something said that not being able to tell paternity is what kept humans from forming a civilization for a while. I do not know.

I guess before that we behaved like apes or wolves or something. The dominate male would get all the females in the area and the male's would fight for dominance. I think this is naturally the way nature works. This is why males have wars over control. The male is the expendable sex. All the males are subordinant to the male with the best genes. Therefore the best genes get carried on. All the women get to be impregnated and if their genes are good enough to make them good mothers then their offspring carry on. Maybe that is why men are said to be less monogamous. Because strait primal instinct is to bone all the women you can, and the healthiest looking ones, cause you can only cum so many times a day. And why women are naturally monogomus because they would latch on to the dominate male. But us humans with our compassion for males and females and their children decided to have man and wife to have children. This way each man get's a female. Each female get's a male devoted to her. And each child get's one mother and one father devoted to it.


Now this is by no means meant to include everyone. Nor should it be a blanketing statement. Even researchers who study gender differences and brain differences say some men have female brains and some female's have male brains. That is to say in the way they function. Everyone is different.

I mean this is just stuff I have heard and am throwing out here for people to think about.

I mean I don't know. This is a very interesting subject for me.


I am also thinking about religious and spiritual aspects in the regard of men being weakened by having an orgasm and women who have sex with men weakening them. Now whether this is true or not I do not know. Never the less people being taught this way in the past and present has a bearing on the situation. The taoist and buddist notion of chi or internal energy. There are different taoist schools of thought on this. Some say a man should never cum. Some say once a year at certian times. Some say only when he wants to have children. In Taoist and some Buddist sects it is all about the cultivation of chi, and for a man to have an orgasm is to loose alot of it. The Taoists have developed many exercises so a man can have sex and be multiorgasmic they even say and not come. This is also true in tantra and other yogic theories. We see this with the druids, and all types of other pagan religions.

Even if the christian or jewish veiw is not that esoteric they may have just thought that a man should spend his time trying to accoplish things and not thinking about sex. Not to mention that god will be upset.

Now people some have said I just like to hear myself talk and I don't. This is just food for your replies which is why I post here. If I just wanted to watch myself type I could go on microsoft word and go to town and still be able to recieve incoming calls.

Just think of it this way, when a man and woman have sex a man looses part of himself. He is in essence giving part of himself to her. Maybe society wants women to respect that by being faithful to him. And when a man gives himself to alot of women society thinks he is a stud because it is the woman who does the choosing. Maybe it is mostly women who chose.

I don't know. Don't take any of this to heart. Most of it is gibber gabber and I am sorry for rambling on. definatly an issue I am going to give more thought to.

[EternallySingle]

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you see a couple and a single man walk into a bar, club, or restaurant and its obvious they are not related?

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you see a couple and a single woman walk into a bar, club, or restaurant and its obvious they are not related?

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by EternallySingle
What is the first thing that pops into your head when you see a couple and a single man walk into a bar, club, or restaurant and its obvious they are not related?

What is the first thing that pops into your head when you see a couple and a single woman walk into a bar, club, or restaurant and its obvious they are not related?

I always just assume they are friends or business associates. Nothing more. We often dine with singles as part of our business, so it isn't unusual to see us at either a restaurant or lounge with a single of either gender.

[Bob123]

Eternally single,

That was a great that you just asked those two questions and did not say anything about your answers so I could think about it myself.
I had to think of alot of different instances and stuff as to what I would think.
If I saw a single woman and a couple I would think wow look at that a single woman. She must be looking to hook up. Or she is just out to have a good time with people and doesn't want to deal with men tonight.
If I saw a single man I would wonder why he is hanging with this couple when he should be out doing his own thing. Or maybe even that he is a dork and cannot find a woman.
It goes back to how people acted throughout my life. A man's worth was measured by what he can accomplish and how many women he could get.
I guess women's worth is measured by the same also, but IMHO society seems to be less harsh when a woman doesn't accomplish much or doesn't have alot of men after her. But I could not know for sure cause I have never been female. Atleist not that I can remember.

[Uneed_Love]

Originally posted by Bob123
Even researchers who study gender differences and brain differences say some men have female brains and some female's have male brains. That is to say in the way they function. Everyone is different.

That's here my 2 cents.... Not "some" men or "some" women BUT "all" human beings have a brain with both feminine and masculine aptitudes but as we are sexualy gendered we are only using some part of our brain according to our goals in order to develop some skills which will help us to achieve those goals. Does it make sense or am I confused in my explanation ?...

JC

[Uneed_Love]

Originally posted by Bob123
A man's worth was measured by what he can accomplish and how many women he could get.

hmmmmm according to this assessment then I really don't even worth a single buck.... snif snif snif.

JC

[Bob123]

Originally posted by Uneed_Love
That's here my 2 cents.... Not "some" men or "some" women BUT "all" human beings have a brain with both feminine and masculine aptitudes but as we are sexualy gendered we are only using some part of our brain according to our goals in order to develop some skills which will help us to achieve those goals. Does it make sense or am I confused in my explanation ?...

JC

Yes I agree. Makes sense to me.