Would you approach me at a club or party?

[TwoAreLooking]

Um. Is "I don't know" a fair answer? I know that I might approach you before D & I both approached you. I'd probably be the scouting party. So, yeah, I'd try.

Does that help at all?

M.

[Alura]

I'm on Trace's side...

At seventy years, I don't much approach any woman. An old love (age 64 now) recently found me, but if my meeting women depends on the amount of effort extended on my part, it isn't likely to happen.

... and someone as young and lovely as yourself? The only way we might ever speak to each other, much less play, would be if you initiated it. I think most geezers will agree. The odds on our side aren't good, so why bother? Perhaps a nap instead...


Alura

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by Playful1

1) would you approach me (based on the very little i gave here)? Why or why not?
2) if you say no...what could I do to make you approach me?

1) I am more impulsive than analytical. Answer, therefore, is about eighty percent probability I would approach you.
2) As far as the other twenty percent of the probability, that would be if I smiled at you and you failed to return a smile.

~Just Michael

[interested-05]

From what you have to say about yourself, I would love to approach you. However, I'm afraid my wife isnt quite as open to the idea. Not that she would say no way in hell but she is afraid by the comparison she makes in her own mind of youth, beauty and current dress sizes.
we are early 50's reasonably good shape, definitely good health, but a few more pounds than we probably could be. For a couple like us, i might intiate a conversation not expecting it to go anywhere. if you were interested you would need to be friendly and reassuring to my wife, that this is simply about having fun with us.

[MrsPandMe]

Hmmm... Interesting you mention this because the Mrs and I were at a club for a Sunday night party and ran into much the same situation, except it was a pair of very attractive couples. We are not model material, to be sure, but her and I have been around the block enough times to feel secure that we are attractive to people.

Anyway, the situation we keep running into with "beautiful people" is that they only seem to seek out other "beautiful people". This doesn't necessarily stop me from approaching you and introducing myself to you, but for me my size up is going to be very, very quick. If you don't seem to engage with me right away, I'm going to assume I'm not what you're looking for and I will not press the issue. This isn't an image thing or a "why would a hot number like this want to deal with a guy like me" mentality, it's simply a matter of experience and observation. Someone else on here hit on the notion "we associate you with who you associate with" and that has some ring of truth to it, whether we want to admit it or not, and it's true in all aspects of social interaction.

Anyway, the situation the other night was that the young attractive people quickly formed a clique and that was pretty much it for them for the evening. We made a concerted effort to engage several of them and beyond being socially courteous, it was clear that we were NOT invited to their party. Point being, we're not the only ones to run into this, so you might be experiencing a sort of "guilt by association", and a lot of people you might be interested in playing with are avoiding you based on past experience. To overcome this, you might need to be a more social butterfly, in that you might find you'll need to approach people and introduce yourself. I don't think you'll need to throw yourself at people, far from it.. But as for me, if I were approached by you with a friendly "hello" and a genuine look of interest I would definitely not miss the opportunity to find out what you're about!

Mr. P

[lovinher]

It may surprise you what a simple smile while looking directly at somebody your interested in will do. I can't stress that enough.
If I thought you were out of my league and you did that, I'd approach you in a heartbeat. Then I'd talk to you to see what type of person you are. Beauty isn't a guarantee for me.

[shy_couple]

A single girl gets alot of attention at aperties and clubs. You would have ahlf the club or party approach you if even half of how you described yourself is true.

I agree with VegasLee and some of the others, it would depend on you to keep that attention.

Now, just from the vibe I get from your posting, you have a nice package that looks really good on paper. You sound like you are too insecure, trying too hard for some reason, or just plain needy. Any combination of these is a huge turn off for us. It usually equals drama or play where allfocus is to be on you.

I may be waaay off and by no means do I know you. I am only going by what was written and the undertone I detect.

Again there are plenty of people, men, women, and couples who dont care and are just looking to play. For us, if we feel a vibe when we meet similar to the one I picked up on in your post, we would make an excuse to move along.

[Playful1]

Originally Posted by shy_couple

A single girl gets alot of attention at aperties and clubs. You would have ahlf the club or party approach you if even half of how you described yourself is true.

I agree with VegasLee and some of the others, it would depend on you to keep that attention.

Now, just from the vibe I get from your posting, you have a nice package that looks really good on paper. You sound like you are too insecure, trying too hard for some reason, or just plain needy. Any combination of these is a huge turn off for us. It usually equals drama or play where allfocus is to be on you.

I may be waaay off and by no means do I know you. I am only going by what was written and the undertone I detect.

Again there are plenty of people, men, women, and couples who dont care and are just looking to play. For us, if we feel a vibe when we meet similar to the one I picked up on in your post, we would make an excuse to move along.

the first thing you mention...it might be true, but I have to say that in the 6yrs I've been going to events, I have yet to see it happen. It certainly does not happen to me. This seems to be a running assumption people have about what single womens experiences must be.

the second thing: no i am not needy, insecure or trying too hard. I was very descriptive in my post because I wanted to give as much info as possible. I always get "repeat visits" so to speak from people I play with and most of the time makes friends outside of sex with them. Oddly enough I am exactly the opposite of 'drama' and 'all attention focused on' me. I am not comfy being the 100% center of attention in group settings and indeed focus the sex on my partners (particularly the ladies if they are into it ) I also do not bring drama to the table. In fact it is a running joke among my friends that they somehow found the drama free unicorn, lol.

I may have come across wrong in my post, but it was a well meaning post. I simply was trying to get some new ideas as to why I always have to initiate play and always have to be the one to go up to people.

to everyone else I really appreciate the comments, as they have given me some stuff to think about. thank you

[ItTakes3]

No, we would not. I'm no gambler, but I could figure the odds pretty quickly. Any contact would be entirely up to you.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by Playful1

the first thing you mention...it might be true, but I have to say that in the 6yrs I've been going to events, I have yet to see it happen. It certainly does not happen to me. This seems to be a running assumption people have about what single womens experiences must be.

the second thing: no i am not needy, insecure or trying too hard. I was very descriptive in my post because I wanted to give as much info as possible. I always get "repeat visits" so to speak from people I play with and most of the time makes friends outside of sex with them. Oddly enough I am exactly the opposite of 'drama' and 'all attention focused on' me. I am not comfy being the 100% center of attention in group settings and indeed focus the sex on my partners (particularly the ladies if they are into it ) I also do not bring drama to the table. In fact it is a running joke among my friends that they somehow found the drama free unicorn, lol.

I may have come across wrong in my post, but it was a well meaning post. I simply was trying to get some new ideas as to why I always have to initiate play and always have to be the one to go up to people.

to everyone else I really appreciate the comments, as they have given me some stuff to think about. thank you

We would approach you now

[prometheius]

I would approach you, say hi, and introduce myself. From then on it's all about how well we interact. Come to an event we attend and I'll prove it!

[Playful1]

lol, you guys are awesome!

good responses and flirtation all in one

i'll have to post whichever DC/MD/VA area halloween party im going to and see if I can wind up meeting some of you in person If it helps, i'll be showing up in a princess leia gold bikini

[Coupleerotic22]

Thanks for updating your profile. You are a beautiful woman. If we based things strictly on looks alone we would certainly approach you. But with the caveats I mentioned before, we might be hesitant to do so.

If you are interested in couples our age (we are almost 20 years your senior) you might want to mingle and find couples you like and let them know you are interested. There are just to many reasons why we wouldn't make the first step. For us, and most people we have talked with, the connection is about more than beauty, which you certainly have.

Beauty you can see across the room, intellect, good conversation, maturity, lack of drama and mutual attraction is something you need to find out about up close and personal.

Talking to my wife she mentioned something about the people our age we see that MOST often go after the younger crowd. Most, not all, of them are people we wouldn't consider being with. I reiterate most not all. In conversations we have found them to be shallow, pushy and devoid of much conversational ability beyond 3 topics; sex, sex and sex. You know the kind, the ones that the first 3 things they tell you are their name, penis size and about their super human ability to make any woman orgasm more and better than she ever has. lol. Most of the attractive people our age that we have met, and also find interesting, tend to stick closer to their age group.

We came up with a few ideas as to what that meant. We figure the first group, the shallow pushy ones, are playing a numbers game. The more people they can spill their lines on about their sexual prowess, the better chance they have of getting lucky, and it seems to work for them to some degree. We also figure they believe that their lines will work on the younger, less mature and experienced. Sometimes it does.

The ones that are also good personalities tend to stick closer to their age group. We figure it because of many of the reasons I mentioned in earlier post. They don't tend to approach the younger crowd, but certainly engage them if they are approached by them.

At the last social I was at I noticed several unicorns, three in particular that were young and very attractive. I casually and intermittently kept tabs on those three that evening and noticed a few things. One spent almost all of her time dancing, mostly nude, around a pole. She was approached and mainly watched, and played some (kissing caressing etc, not sex), exclusively with women. I never saw a male even attempt to play with her. She never mingled in the crowd at all.

The other two spent the majority of their time mingling with the crowd near and around our age. I would guess 80% of their time or so was spent with couples in their 30's, 40's & 50's and the other 20% with people their age, in the their 20's. (I also noticed that a few of the other young unicorns almost never mingled outside their age group)

As the party wound down, the one that spent most of her time dancing was busy bouncing from couple to couple in very brief conversation. The couples were all in engaged in other conversations. They were polite but did not talk with her too long. As I was outside talking with some friends I noticed she got in her car an left, alone. Perhaps that was her plan all along, who knows.

One of the ladies I saw mingling was last seen getting into an elevator with a couple I know, who are in their late 30's, and looked as if the party was going to be continued upstairs.

The third lady was getting email or phone numbers from a few couples, both younger and older than us. I never saw her leave so I am not sure where she went. But it was clear if she wanted to, there were several couples that would continue the party.

I had not noticed it before the OP, but I can see your point now. Most of the "crowd" was around the unicorns that were exhibitionist, dancing nude etc. And their was not much in the way of engaging conversation going on. People would watch and be playful a bit, but that was about it. Other unicorns seemed to stay in one spot and had only 1 or 2 couples and maybe another unicorn or two with them. Others mingled and were approaching other people. The seem to be the most popular people in the room.

My previous thought had been that the unicorns were covered up with people, but that was not the case. Previously I had noticed things with passive interest. Once I was looking for how things went on, I noticed that the unicorns that were covered up with interested playmates where those working the room.

[sexcupid]

coupleerotic, I think the OP's general point was that she was tired of doing all the persuing and wanted to be pursued.

OP, it doesn't matter what you think of yourself...the fact is people have told you they are intimidated by your looks before you approaced them and they realized what a lovely conversationalist/personality you had in addition to those looks. You are 25 when the majority of people are in their 30s and above. You don't seem to mind playing above your age, but others have mentioned that they would not approach because of that. Not that my SO would mind approaching someone 20 years younger, but he's kind of odd like that.

I like being pursued as well...it just seems that most guys have been conditioned in the LS to wait for the woman to show interest before putting the moves on and those that don't are labelled pushy or disrespectful.

[Edison Carter]

susan here-- The women that are attractive and bitchy and filled with drama, get all the press. Those of us that are pretty and fun and sane, never get credit . When I was single sometimes it would be difficult at a Club. So I would introduce myself by saying,"Hi. I'm sane and enjoy sex with fun people." It really helped.