maybe want a swinger companion

jodi · 07-28-2010, 06:38 PM

hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically thoughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life.

i have many friends, straight girl friends that are friends of my children's friends, that kind of thing.

lately, i've been entertaining the idea of singles groups and even mentioned to my girlfriends that i'm on the market again, jokingly, but they actually came up with people for me to date.

the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not.

i know there's lots of single guys that are into swinging, but to be honest, this makes me nervous, just meeting random swinger guys. does anyone have any suggestions?

on my last post, i got some great suggestions to call a club ahead of time and the host couple can introduce me around. so maybe i'll meet someone, or make some friends this way. i can't force it to happen. thanks forreading.

ncmd_couple · 07-29-2010, 02:11 PM

Jodi,

I don't know where you are in NJ, but, you might be able to apply this to your area. There is a club in Gettysburg, PA, The Cottage, that is a great club. They do allow select single males on Friday nights. I have met several single gentlemen there that are great guys. Of course, also we met some not so great guys there.

Maybe you can take a look at a local club where you can actually meet some real people in a controlled environment.

S

absingleman · 08-27-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jodi

hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically thoughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life.

i have many friends, straight girl friends that are friends of my children's friends, that kind of thing.

lately, i've been entertaining the idea of singles groups and even mentioned to my girlfriends that i'm on the market again, jokingly, but they actually came up with people for me to date.

the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not.

i know there's lots of single guys that are into swinging, but to be honest, this makes me nervous, just meeting random swinger guys. does anyone have any suggestions?

on my last post, i got some great suggestions to call a club ahead of time and the host couple can introduce me around. so maybe i'll meet someone, or make some friends this way. i can't force it to happen. thanks forreading.

As a single man, all I can say is approach this as meeting a single man who just happens to swing. If you were an avid camper, biker, skydiver, rodeo clown, professional wrester and wanted to meet someone to do these things with, you would look at the person first and the activity second. As long as you are smart you can find a single male swing partner without being afraid of the stalkers, clingers, and players. Single men who swing are just like single men who don't swing. Some are good, some are bad, some are arrogant, some are shy, etc. Just don't get it into your head that all single guys who swing have something wrong with them and you usually won't meet the ones who have something wrong with them.

good luck.

DigginIt · 08-27-2010, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by absingleman

look at the person first and the activity second. As long as you are smart you can find a single male swing partner without being afraid of the stalkers, clingers, and players. Single men who swing are just like single men who don't swing. Some are good, some are bad, some are arrogant, some are shy, etc.

Very well put!

I think everyone has a variation of the same issue and the only answer is that unfortunately you will just have to keep trying until you find the few that you click with.

If you can't find a club then try to find organizers for a local social or house party and try to meet a few people who can make your transition smoother.

Good luck.

Cajun2Step · 08-28-2010, 04:10 PM

Hi Jodi,
You said, "hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically throughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life."
---------------------------

We happen to know a single very nice guy who recently told us almost the exact statement. Only difference was he has never been involved in the lifestyle.
-------------------------------
To continue from your words: "the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not."
-------------------------------
His quote word for word except take out your word guy, and insert his word lady.
-------------------------------

There are nice gentlemen out there who would love to find you. If you have been in the lifestyle off and on during your last 18 years, we would suggest that you might start with those friends assuming there would be no drama with them and your ex's. Others might tell you to begin your search online, but our words of wisdom would be extremely careful what you post about yourself and on which websites or other forums you search. The world is full of real nice people with a sprinkling of some not so nice mixed in.

Jst2Rlx · 11-16-2010, 11:10 PM

Hi Jodi... I happen to live in MA, not very far from NJ. I read your post and the responses. I agree with all the advice you have been given here. BUT, don't give up looking on the Northern East Coast yet...LOL I have not been involved with the lifestyle as yet, but, would love to meet you sometime, just to discuss it. Would love to hear the "single" Lady's side of things.

Jst

Coupleerotic22 · 11-17-2010, 01:10 PM

I am guessing you are in your mid to late forties. As a single female in the LS you should have no problem making friends with couples. Get to know a few of them you like, develop a trust with them and let them know you are looking for a single male to play with on occasion. I am sure they will be able to give you some good advice on who to avoid and who is a good person. The swinger community, around here anyway, is tight nit and looks after each other.

LikeMinds321 · 11-17-2010, 01:41 PM

Jodi started her thread four months ago.

I hope she comes back to update us on what has been happening in her life.

LM

jodi · 11-19-2010, 12:58 AM

hi, thanks for all of your replies. glad that i'm in a poly relationship now & it's going well. so, i'm feeling more comfortable approaching things as a single female ...but, lol, sometimes my couple is there w/ me...we'v been to a club a few times & hv met some people. talk soon.

jodi

omoplata · 12-22-2010, 12:48 PM

Question to everyone:
When a lady and gentleman in this situation meet and intend to be "swinging buddies" for a while, would the men be expected to pay for club fees and other expenses?
Just curious on your perspective, because I am a recently divorced male and am looking for a partner to re-explore the scene with. Better to get a reading of what is considered proper...

Thanks a lot

lotsoffun201 · 12-22-2010, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by omoplata

Question to everyone:
When a lady and gentleman in this situation meet and intend to be "swinging buddies" for a while, would the men be expected to pay for club fees and other expenses?
Just curious on your perspective, because I am a recently divorced male and am looking for a partner to re-explore the scene with. Better to get a reading of what is considered proper...

Thanks a lot

Considering MOST clubs allow single females in free or at drastically reduced rates wheras single males are either never allowed or have to pay double the rates, it would stand to reason you should foot the bill.

Coupleerotic22 · 12-22-2010, 01:30 PM

And regardless, it would the the gentlemanly thing to do.

olderyder · 12-23-2010, 11:32 AM

What ever happened to Equal Rights for Women? Since they are both single, shouldn't they go "Dutch"?

omoplata · 12-23-2010, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by olderyder

What ever happened to Equal Rights for Women? Since they are both single, shouldn't they go "Dutch"?

For some reason, I am liking this a little better. I don't know why though..

LikeMinds321 · 12-23-2010, 01:21 PM

IF I was a single swinging gal...

If I asked a single swinger guy to go out with me, I'd pay the way.

If the single swinger guy asked me to go out, he'd pay the way.

LM

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07-28-2010, 06:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
jodi Active Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 21 Location: New Jersey Status: divorced female	maybe want a swinger companion hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically thoughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life. i have many friends, straight girl friends that are friends of my children's friends, that kind of thing. lately, i've been entertaining the idea of singles groups and even mentioned to my girlfriends that i'm on the market again, jokingly, but they actually came up with people for me to date. the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not. i know there's lots of single guys that are into swinging, but to be honest, this makes me nervous, just meeting random swinger guys. does anyone have any suggestions? on my last post, i got some great suggestions to call a club ahead of time and the host couple can introduce me around. so maybe i'll meet someone, or make some friends this way. i can't force it to happen. thanks forreading.

07-29-2010, 02:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
ncmd_couple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,252 Location: North Carolina Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:ncmd_couple	Re: mb want a swinger companion Jodi, I don't know where you are in NJ, but, you might be able to apply this to your area. There is a club in Gettysburg, PA, The Cottage, that is a great club. They do allow select single males on Friday nights. I have met several single gentlemen there that are great guys. Of course, also we met some not so great guys there. Maybe you can take a look at a local club where you can actually meet some real people in a controlled environment. S
	__________________ Try anything once, twice if it is fun, three times if it is real good!

08-28-2010, 04:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cajun2Step Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 184 Location: In a rolling castle Status: Couple	Re: mb want a swinger companion Hi Jodi, You said, "hi. after 18 years of 2 marriages, and involved in lifestyle periodically throughout that time, i am now single and wondering how to proceed with my social life." --------------------------- *We happen to know a single very nice guy who recently told us almost the exact statement. Only difference was he has never been involved in the lifestyle.* ------------------------------- To continue from your words: "the thing is, i don't want a serious relationship, but maybe just a guy that i can enjoy his company and even go to a swinger club and have some fun this way, whether full swap or not." ------------------------------- *His quote word for word except take out your word guy, and insert his word lady.* ------------------------------- There are nice gentlemen out there who would love to find you. If you have been in the lifestyle off and on during your last 18 years, we would suggest that you might start with those friends assuming there would be no drama with them and your ex's. Others might tell you to begin your search online, but our words of wisdom would be extremely careful what you post about yourself and on which websites or other forums you search. The world is full of real nice people with a sprinkling of some not so nice mixed in.
	__________________ Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Laissez le bon temp rouler C2S

11-16-2010, 11:10 PM	#6 (permalink)
Jst2Rlx Registered Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 6 Location: Massachusetts Status: Single Male	Re: maybe want a swinger companion Hi Jodi... I happen to live in MA, not very far from NJ. I read your post and the responses. I agree with all the advice you have been given here. BUT, don't give up looking on the Northern East Coast yet...LOL I have not been involved with the lifestyle as yet, but, would love to meet you sometime, just to discuss it. Would love to hear the "single" Lady's side of things. Jst

11-17-2010, 01:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
Coupleerotic22 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,130 Location: Aabama Bear Cave - Don't poke the bear Status: M. Male - MrsCoupleErotic's other half	Re: maybe want a swinger companion I am guessing you are in your mid to late forties. As a single female in the LS you should have no problem making friends with couples. Get to know a few of them you like, develop a trust with them and let them know you are looking for a single male to play with on occasion. I am sure they will be able to give you some good advice on who to avoid and who is a good person. The swinger community, around here anyway, is tight nit and looks after each other.

11-17-2010, 01:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	Re: maybe want a swinger companion Jodi started her thread four months ago. I hope she comes back to update us on what has been happening in her life. LM

11-19-2010, 12:58 AM	#9 (permalink)
jodi Active Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 21 Location: New Jersey Status: divorced female	Re: maybe want a swinger companion hi, thanks for all of your replies. glad that i'm in a poly relationship now & it's going well. so, i'm feeling more comfortable approaching things as a single female ...but, lol, sometimes my couple is there w/ me...we'v been to a club a few times & hv met some people. talk soon. jodi

12-22-2010, 12:48 PM	#10 (permalink)
omoplata Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 21 Location: New York City Status: Single Male	Re: maybe want a swinger companion Question to everyone: When a lady and gentleman in this situation meet and intend to be "swinging buddies" for a while, would the men be expected to pay for club fees and other expenses? Just curious on your perspective, because I am a recently divorced male and am looking for a partner to re-explore the scene with. Better to get a reading of what is considered proper... Thanks a lot

12-22-2010, 01:30 PM	#12 (permalink)
Coupleerotic22 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,130 Location: Aabama Bear Cave - Don't poke the bear Status: M. Male - MrsCoupleErotic's other half	Re: maybe want a swinger companion And regardless, it would the the gentlemanly thing to do.

12-23-2010, 11:32 AM	#13 (permalink)
olderyder Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 52 Location: hemet Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:oldrydernlady	Re: maybe want a swinger companion What ever happened to Equal Rights for Women? Since they are both single, shouldn't they go "Dutch"?

12-23-2010, 01:21 PM	#15 (permalink)
LikeMinds321 I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female	Re: maybe want a swinger companion IF I was a single swinging gal... If I asked a single swinger guy to go out with me, I'd pay the way. If the single swinger guy asked me to go out, he'd pay the way. LM

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