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| Singles & Swinging Questions about and Topics concerning Singles and Swinging - and Swinging Single. |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 11 Location: USA Status: couple
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My wife and I have had some decent success with single males. She enjoys MFMs as do I. Now, our swinging activities are often fairly limited because of the lack of opportunity for both of us to be out together for an evening of some swinging fun. As a result, we always want to maximize our swinging opportunities. My wife suggested the idea of inviting several single males at once to meet over dinner, with play a possibility later. Let's say there's four. Let them all know upfront that there will be other single males arriving as well, and larger group play is a possibility. This wouldn't be a specific intent to have a MMFMM scenario, but just to maximize the opportunity to swing. My wife and I are still discussing this. One problem I see is let's say she likes three of the four we invite; how do you tell #4 'no' without creating a drama scene? I also think it's much more likely a single male will show up if he knows he's the only one showing up as opposed to one of four. Maybe if you invite four, you have a higher chance of getting zero. Just throwing this out there for some thoughts and feedback. |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Tastes Great Less Filling Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,467 Location: Los Angeles Status: Single Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Secret_Asian_Man
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Ah... well, the thing is, I wouldn't invite over any more fellas than she would be comfortable handling if (on the odd scenario) they ALL actually showed up & were willing to play that evening. Yes, it's tempting to hedge your bets in case they flake out and you're left with nothing... You *might* want to try a situation where y'all meet in a neutral location for drinks or something ... and from there, y'all decide if the chemistry is right between y'all and the guy(s). And quietly invite those lucky guys back to a place where you can all play. |
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__________________ Have some... you'll want some more an hour later | |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female
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If you are interested in getting four guys together for a drink to see if there is a possiblity for play at a future date, then this sounds like a job interview and I would think the guys might feel it's more work than play. If you are planning to play the same night of the meet, then it sounds like you're trying to get a gang bang together. With a gang bang the guys know coming in that there will be others there and play is planned at that date, as long as everyone clicks, the more the merrier. Of course, the guys can walk away if they aren't interested and she can turn any man down she doesn't want to play with. How particular is she? How good is she at turning guys away? How easy will it be for her to do this in front of others? Does she want the gang bang experience? If not, I'd stick with meeting one man at a time. My feeling is that this group interview approach wouldn't make your time any better spent, and may work against you. LM |
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| | #4 (permalink) | |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 54 Location: South Central PA Status: M.Male
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 489 Location: Central Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:swyngcpl
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Attempting to maximize your swing experience by having four to choose from is completely unfair unless you tell each and every one of the attendees that they are going to be in competition with the others for your wife's attention. While we have learned that ALOT of single males are flakes and liars we don't believe that two wrongs make a right. We're having trouble getting one to show up after a week of chat between him and her...getting 4 to show up should be interesting. Good luck and be up front. Trace |
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__________________ 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. | |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard
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I'd say you're likely to decrease your SHOW likelihood by half. So while all 4 of those guys might have shown up if they were meeting you one on one, only 2 of them are likely to show up if you tell them there will be more guys there and the possibility of multiple male play. I'd suggest talking to the SMs upfront and getting a feel for them and how they feel about gangbangs and playing with multiple males present, etc. Then if it seems like something they are into invite those that are into it to meet at one time, and for the others who prefer the smaller one one one (or 2 on one with your hubby present) just meet them by themselves. For a reference, many years ago I wanted to have a gangbang and the idea was to meet all the guys at the bar beforehand. We'd invited about 6 (I think) the idea was that anyone could back out at the bar or whatever. Only one showed up. |
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__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book | |
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| | #7 (permalink) | ||||||
| Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,487 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun
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I take it the waiter you mentioned in another post, is not involved ? Quote:
Will Dave, a trusted playmate be one of the men there ? I would want some back up. Safety First, but that might just be me.... Quote:
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fun4ds | ||||||
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| | #8 (permalink) | |
| I'll think about it Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 10,099 Location: With Wild Things Status: Married Female
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![]() Two men can keep a woman very busy and happy. I've never felt the need for more than two at a time. It's so cozy and intimate that way. LM | |
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| | #9 (permalink) | |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 11 Location: USA Status: couple
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No, the waiter previously mentioned has never been approached by us regarding swinging, and won't be. | |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 13 Location: Minnesota Status: Couple
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If you have been active for a while, and have already met several single men, why not just invite those willing to do a gangbang back. You know you already have chemistry with them from your previous one on one. Be up front about what you expect from them, as it sounds like you plan to, and I think it will work out well. I also think that already having some experience with you, they will be more at ease, they of course will have get used to the other guys, but perhaps that is where the pre-party meeting comes into play. I also think that by inviting back guys you have already played with you will greatly increase the chance of them showing up. You will have to let us know what you end up doing and how it works out. I really hope that you are successful at maximizing the situation annie |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
| Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower
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I'm just a hick Okie and have no experience with more than MFM and FMF but here's my idea: Through introductions websites or your local Swingers Bulletin Board, invite four couples to discuss the prospects of each woman having a turn for a gang bang. Of course, the men could each have a turn with multiple ladies. This could also be a group that could offer other group sex variations to each other. There are a lot of possibilities. The most important part is communication; all couples need to be enthusiastically involved. Alura |
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__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers | |
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| | #12 (permalink) |
| Here to Stay Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 70 Location: Maryland Status: S
| Great point and a point that is brutally understated in the vanilla world and surprisingly, in this forum. Just because there is a perception that women can get sex easier than men, does not mean that guys do not reject women for sex.
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| Last edited by DarkVoyuer; 05-24-2010 at 08:40 PM. | |
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| A gentleman never tells Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 2,131 Location: Southeastern USA Status: half of a couple
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I received an email on Swing Lifestyle showing a fuzzy photo of a woman partially disrobed with her face distorted in photoshop and a short invite. "We are having a GB in ___(my town) tomorrow night. Would you like to be there?" I responded that I had to work that day and the next, I didn't know them, I didn't know who else would be there etc. etc. so... my answer is no. My answer was longer and contained more information than their invite. This was an example of how not to put a gangbang together.
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__________________ Why is it we can pleasure ourselves but not tickle ourselves? | |
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| | #14 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 102 Location: Delaware Status: Couple
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We seldom play on first meetings. I we have tried this and let each know its just a meet and greet and no play is expected or offered. that way, its all very above board and all expectations are known. This way, if we do not click with someone, we do not hurt someones (or more) feeling by saying, ok, get a room you, you, not you, not you and you two can watch! Not a good way to start. There was one time that we asked one guy to wait for us and we did play with him. We had a number of emails and calls back and forth and thought we might be compatible but wanted to see each other face to face too. he did stay and we played. but that was an exception to the rule. Later, if we like someone and vice versa, do we then make a play date. and we have had a few MFMM also. And hubby took the pictures! Yea, I can be slutty too! lol N |
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__________________ Ask me where I got my sexy swingers jewelry! Check my profile for the link. | |
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| | #15 (permalink) |
| Swingers Board Addict |
I'd suggest that you meet the 3-4 guys in a public place FIRST. If you wish to do so all together fine, you can pick and choose and then invite the "winners" to your home for play. If you have them all in your home and don't choose one or two for play time you run the risk of a scene or worse an ugly situation which may result in law enforcement intervention, "film at 11" or simply neighborhood gossip. NEVER put yourself or your wife in a situation where you don't have total control and absolute safety.
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