Single Guy - Does Size Really Matter?

[biphillydude]

How much does size matter for a single guy? Am anywhere from 5.5 to 6 inches with average thickness. Am a newbie to the swinging-world. What do u think are my chances?
My size is not an issue for me at all when it comes to finding a partner. But with swinging- seems like everyone prefers a well-endowed guy.
Looking to get some perspective/opinions/ideas.

BTW- This is a great forum.

[BiloxiCouple]

Your personality "size" will get you alot farther than your penis size. I have seen where a big penis is a novelty, that novelty quickly wears off. Some can handle some can't. Some try it just to see what it's like.

A good personality in the long run is more important. If it is only about size, a girl can get a toy bigger than any big penis. And all she has to do is keep putting batteries in it and doesn't have to worry about conversation or personality.

A bartender at our club that we nicknamed ManWhore. Nothing really outstanding, great personality and not bad looking. He got to swing with alot of women. My wife and lots of friends broke him into the lifestyle. Really great guy. His personality really got him laid.

[LFM2]

Your penis size is only gonna matter to you. If you're uncomfortable with it, it's going to project onto others that you might want to play with -- and that might make you appear insecure.

Be yourself. Be happy and mingle.

[YZF]

Mrs. YZF here. It depends on where you are going to swing. Personally, if we (YZF, Quita and I) started chatting with you online and invited you over to play with us, it would not matter what your size is. YZF is only 6" maybe 6 1/2 on a good day but he is a great lover, knows his way around a woman's body and has yet to fail at keeping both Quita and me satisfied. Hell, he keeps us purring most of the time.

At a club, I worry less about personality because no one I play with at a club is going to be a keeper. A big dick becomes more of an asset for a guy in that enviroment. The size of a penis does not matter to me if I am looking for a relationship, but if I am fucking for fun, bigger is better. But that is just me and that is just at a club. I tend to like smaller, average size cock from people I am going to see more than once.*





*Since YZF and I share this account, that is my story and I am sticking to it!

[SecretAsianMan]

It's going to depend on the partners you choose to play with...

I consider myself to be statistically average in penis size... so, if a potential partner is a "size-queen" and wants/needs someone of larger proportions, I'll hang out and be friendly - but I won't pursue an encounter with 'em. (Or I let them know what my size is so there's no mis-representation or disappointment if I don't measure up to what they prefer)

[JustAskJulie]

I'm going to have to agree with those that say your personality and attitude and respect for others is going to make a much bigger difference than your penis size. That said, if you are trying to go the personal ad route to meet others and the only picture is one of your dick then you are going to have two strikes against you instead of one.

Spend some time reading this forum and the advice for single guys articles in the articles section, that info will help you much more than a big dick.

[Chicup]

To play a bit of the devils advocate, I'm going to guess size matters MORE for a single in the lifestyle than a man in a couple.

Single males in the lifestyle tend to need "more" in terms of physical looks/bodies, than the average male since they have less to offer so to speak.

[ALilOEverything]

Generally it's not going to matter but there will be times when it does. There are some couples who look for single guys just because the wife wants a big one. That actually is their goal. Usually it will be right on their profiles.

Most of the time they just want you respectful with a fun personality.

[LikeMinds321]

Welcome biphillydude!

Based on your username and introduction thread I'll presume that you are a bisexual single male. If this is the case, and you let that be known, I think it will play a bigger role in how you do at swinging than the size of your cock.

In my 6+ years involved with swinging I've found that most couples are not open to bisexual men, and those that are usually don't let it be known in their profiles so it can be hard to find them. There are some straight men and women who don't mind if a bisexual male joins them, but I think that is rare.

If you are looking for sex with men as much, or more, than women, you may find it more challenging in the lifestyle.

But then, I could be all wrong.

As others have said, many things need to be in order to succeed: having good character, common sense, hygiene, sense of humor, being responsible and respectful.

LM

[SecretAsianMan]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Welcome biphillydude!

As others have said, many things need to be in order to succeed: having good character, common sense, hygiene, sense of humor, being responsible and respectful.

...but not necessarily in that order.

[Thrax]

As a single male -- both then and now -- upon my first attempts at consorting with swingers back in 2000 I was a little worried about the endowment thing, too. I'd still like my groinal area to be a little more filled-out; really, most guys would. However, after almost a decade of life on the edge of the lifestyle, I learned that size doesn't matter too much...as long as the minimum size is close to "average." (Btw, my erection is just under 6 inches and my girth is average. Flaccid? It's a sad, tiny little thing...)

I've gone to clubs, house parties, camping parties, and similar venues and no one has ever pulled out a ruler to ascertain my boner length. In fact, on several occasions I've been naked and in an unaroused state before being asked to play. And I am definitely a grow-er, not a show-er, so I guess my partners decided that things would eventually work out.

As I've mentioned before on the SB, I've been in play situations with several couples where the guy was much more endowed than me. Sometimes the difference was by two or more inches in length and some amazing girths. Some of those encounters were one-offs, so to speak, (but I got the impression that everyone was happy with the results), and some were multiple encounters, so I must have been doing something right. So, it's not ALL about the dick size.

The erection of a husband in one couple I played with was about one, maybe two inches longer than mine. l didn't know that until we were all naked and playing. That explained the question from his wife (after multiple emails and after, I guess, she and I both decided we were compatible) asking me, "You don't have a really big dick, do you?"

I told her my approximate measurements and she was happy with the response. It turned out that her husband is very skilled at using his length, but she had encountered guys -- and otherwise had worries about potential swing partners -- who did not know that a big cock can injure a woman. Turns out because I'm of average length we can vigorously slap against each other while boinking. She loves her hubby but it's something they can't do because of his length. Also, she can deepthroat me, but if she tried something similar with her husband, she'd hyperextend her jaw. So, I'm occasionally a part of their sex-life because I'm different...and in this case, not as big as he is.

So, there are some advantages to being "average", and a lot of couples who want single males in their sexual encounters are okay with that.

There are some couples and single females on Swing Lifestyle, at clubs, and available through other venues, that are looking for the big cock. I see that requirement listed specifically on national or club sites and I just don't respond to those ads or profiles. Why bother? It's what they're looking for and I can't provide. However, although it is a big part of the lifestyle, it doesn't seem to be the "majority" interest from my experience. From what I've seen most women in the lifestyle are more concerned about satisfaction from the hardened penes they encounter rather than trying to find the biggest of the lot.

I guess it's all about marketing. I try to present myself appropriately on Swing Lifestyle and other local and national swing sites, and when I go to a Meet'n'Greet or club, I'm conscious of my personality and appearance. Just like a regular date. Dress nice, try to engage everyone in pleasant conversation, be polite and respectful, be well-groomed (clipped nails, nice haircut, trimmed nose- and ear-hairs, clean hair, etc.)

It's all about attraction. Make yourself attractive.

I'm happy with the number and variety of lifestyle encounters I've had. An encounter or so every month or two has slaked my lifestyle thirst at this point. I suggest that you decide what you want from the lifestyle and then address that and figure out how you want to approach couples and singles.

Finally, I have to acknowledge LikeMinds thoughtful post. If you are bi then some things are definitely different for you. And it's not just the whole bi-guy playing with an accepting or a reluctant couple thing.

If you are bi and you want to make the most of your experience with a couple that is interested in bi guys, then you have to make a favorable impression on both of your potential partners. Obviously. That's a different bag of whatever. It's different from the interactions that I as a straight male hope to have with a couple in which the male is also straight. In an MFM threesome, are the expectations of a bi-hubby different from those of a of a husband that is straight? I haven't experienced that, haven't asked, and don't know.

This might be fodder for another thread -- or might have already been addressed on the SB -- since a bi-male in a male/female couple might have different expectations than a straight male in a couple that swings with single males.

To each his own.

Anyway, my advice is to not worry about the size of your equipment. Instead I think you should dress appropriately for any encounter, use good hygiene, be personable and respectful to everybody (potential playmates or not), practice "no means no", and if things don't look like they won't work out -- for whatever reason -- politely retreat, regroup, summarize what you've learned, and try again. Rinse and repeat.

Good luck with your search!

Thrax

[SecretAsianMan]

Worrying about the size of your penis doesn't really help you ... it's not like you're going to be able to change it (not without some pretty radical surgical procedures).

So don't worry 'bout it. Enjoy what you've got and make the best use of what you do have.

[Sico_tiko]

just satisfy people & get satisfied with the size you have, it doesnt matter, what matters is your personality and how you deal with people.

[dave110256]

Size means nothing to us. It's all about chemistry and if you can't get it up and keep it up.......that's another story. We've only been with 2 guys, both were average or less but couldn't get it up or keep it up. I guess being able to perform with another naked man in the same bed bothers some guys. It doesn't bother me as I can't wait to finally find the right guy to fuck my wife like she's hoping.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by dave110256

Size means nothing to us. It's all about chemistry and if you can't get it up and keep it up.......that's another story. We've only been with 2 guys, both were average or less but couldn't get it up or keep it up. I guess being able to perform with another naked man in the same bed bothers some guys. It doesn't bother me as I can't wait to finally find the right guy to fuck my wife like she's hoping.

You say size means nothing, yet if I recall the first guy you mentioned having a very small penis.

Lets be honest size DOES mean something, its just not a determining factor.