Responding to profiles at swinger sites

[floridanudist]

Is there any recommended best line for a single guy to respond to a couple or woman on the swinger sites?

I have always kept it simple and used a line like this:

Subject: Interested?

Or

Subject: Interested in meeting me?

"Hi, please check out my profile and let me know if you might be interested. I live in ..............."

Or something like:

"Hi, I see we share some common interests. Please check out my profile and let me know if you might be interested. I live in .............."


Fred

[OhioCouple]

Hey Fred, welcome back. Haven't seen you around in a while.

Personally, I think your approach sounds rather 'canned'. Meaning here that as a reader of it, I would probably sluff it off and not even bother to do anything other than send you a "thanks, but no thanks" response. Remember the old adage of you only get back, what you put into something? It applies in just the same manner in the world of internet ads.

The type of messages that pique our interest are the ones who took the time to read our profile and comment about something or a few things in it. "Specifically". This gives us the impression that there is some genuine interest, "in us", on their part.

Your title line could be as simple as "Hello", but if you specifically address portions of their profile and express some of your own interests, you'll stand a better chance of getting a favorable response.

Good luck!

Lori

[Elusive BiFem]

Hi there, floridanudist. From a single female...I'm kind of a "detail" person and as such, when someone sends me a message, I like to know that they have really read my profile. I can assume they have if they make comments on something in my profile - my interest, hobbies, area I live in, etc. Really, just anything to let me know that I am not one of many getting the same blanket e-mail. After that, I want to know about the person writing to me. Their hobbies, interests, physical description (an honest one!), and something to let me know what their personality is like. For example, not long ago, I got a note from someone that started off acknowledging the fact that I was in Texas and likely a Bush supporter...went on to say that was something we would NOT have in common, but might give rise to some interesting conversations/debates. That was a "negative" opening line, as such, but certainly caught my attention and sparked my interest. And that is what you need to strive for - sparking interest.
Frankly, those quick one liners you described are a dime a dozen and I tend to ignore them for the most part. And this thing about moonlit walks on the beach? Forget it. That is so overused - and even by those living 1000's of miles inland! (might be true in your case) Seriously...someone local would get my attention by telling me they are a connoisseur of fine Tex-Mex food, talking to me about the (miserable) Dallas Cowboys. Just try to make it a friendly and upbeat message with real information - just like you would if you set down next to someone in a restaurant or party. And ask questions as you tell them about yourself. "I enjoyed a relationship with a couple for two years until they moved to ___. Have ya'll ever entertained the idea of a single man?" I tend to enjoy quite, intimate gatherings, but occasionally enjoy attending some of the local clubs. Have ya'll had any experience with the local clubs?" "After I get to know a couple (or woman), I enjoy entertaining in my home/apartment and enjoy getting the evening started with steaks cooked on the grill. Sound like something ya'll might enjoy?"
See what I mean? Put some serious thought into your messages and it will set you apart from many. -EBF

[floridanudist]

Lori,
This is excellent advice I will definetly use. It's too bad I didn't come here earlier to ask this question! I will be a lot more creative when responding to swinger's profiles, and say way more than the examples I gave. Make it more personal like we're having a friendly conversation. Also give them lots of information about myself, instead of simply pointing them to my profile.

BTW, I'm a registered Republican in the Great State of Florida, but I voted for Al Gore in 2000 ROFL!

Thanks,
Fred

[OhioCouple]

Fred,

Elusive BiFem gave you some excellent pointers. Make your note to them as though you were meeting them for the first time in person. Don't go into information overload though. That is just as disasterous as the typical one liner mailings. Take what you see from their profile and meld it with a little of your own personal interests. Ask some questions that make them want to respond to you with more than just a "thanks, but no thanks".

Oh, BTW....I don't think I'd discuss politics with them in an introductory note...that can get ya deleted quicker than a happy dog can wag it's tail!

Lori

[JustAskJulie]

I have to agree with Lori & Elusive. If I saw that response in my inbox it would get dumped because basically I would see you as someone not willing to put forth any effort.

Give me a reason to even bother reading your profile. Let me know that you did in fact read mine and that you are on the same page with me. "hey I noticed that you are interested in.... I think that's great and that we'd be a good match", then go into details as to why we would be a good match.

End it with the line that they can view your profile for more details about you. And if you've made a connection in those opening paragraphs I'm sure they will do so.

[teknurse]

Personally, I'm try to steer clear of politics. Religion and politics are the 2 quickest ways to 'lose' new friends. Generally speaking, they are the things that most ppl tend to be very adamant in their opinions about. As far as it goes, I haven't voted for a president that's been elected YET. I'm always for the underdog candidates, they are the ones that seem to have the platforms that interest me.

Allen&Tami

[floridanudist]

I'm not sure if I earlier asked this in another thread, it's been a while, but another good question I had is, if somebody earlier contacted me and expressed great interest in meeting me at some future time, but I have not received any more messages from them, is it ok to periodically send them a message to keep in contact and let them know I am still interested in them without being annoying? Maybe once or twice a month or so?

Fred

[Elusive BiFem]

I certainly wouldn't have any problem receiving a friendly, follow-up note assuming the initial e-mails were written in a positive tone. All of us get busy and distracted, decide to take a break for a while, forget, lose e-mails (break our computers on a routine basis). I think the key to follow-up is exactly what you said - don't be annoying. Something along the lines of hi, haven't heard from ya'll in a while and hope everything is going well, still interested in chatting if ya'll are still interested, etc. Continued contact after this message would be dependent upon their response. If none, I think I would drop it, but if they do respond, take your cue from the tone of the response. -EBF

[naughty A]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
politics and religion need to be deleted from most conversations, and especially upon first meetings. (Seems there are 3 things you shouldn't discuss, but I can't recall the 3rd.) -
EBF

SEX

The three topics you are not supposed to discuss with people you don't know are religion, politics and SEX

uh-oh... I guess we are really in trouble now.

Naughty A.

[Elusive BiFem]

SEX! How could I forget it???? What a dunce I am!!
I'm still laughing, Naughty A!
I guess all this fajita talk caused a total brain shut-down.
Sex, religion, politics!! I need to remember where I am. Thanks for the reminder.
-EBF

[floridanudist]

Also, I was wondering about something just today that I've been curious about. Do Bi guys get more responses from couples than Straight males? Just curious. Is sexual orientation not a major issue with most couples?

Somebody told me recently that many otherwise Bi men will list themselves as straight, only so that they won't get thousands of hits from gays.
Fred

[naughty A]

Originally posted by floridanudist
Also, I was wondering about something just today that I've been curious about. Do Bi guys get more responses from couples than Straight males? Just curious. Is sexual orientation not a major issue with most couples?

Somebody told me recently that many otherwise Bi men will list themselves as straight, only so that they won't get thousands of hits from gays.
Fred

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY .

A couple with a straight male half isn't looking for any bi male action.

A couple with bi male isn't looking for a straight one.

It is a MAJOR issue with this couple!

as to getting thousands of hits from gays, don't know if this is true ... but I guess it would give you an idea of what a couple looking for a single male gets...

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by Elusive BiFem
SEX! How could I forget it???? What a dunce I am!!

I think that is because all we do is talk SEX around here. Therefore it doesn't seem like a taboo subject! We just have to remember that it isn't socially acceptable everywhere!!!

Lori

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by floridanudist
Also, I was wondering about something just today that I've been curious about. Do Bi guys get more responses from couples than Straight males? Just curious. Is sexual orientation not a major issue with most couples?

Somebody told me recently that many otherwise Bi men will list themselves as straight, only so that they won't get thousands of hits from gays.

Yes, sexual preferences are a big issue for some people.

Having worked with many gay men in my lifetime, I don't feel they would frequent a swingers site. They aren't interested in the bi-sexual or hetrosexual males. AT ALL. What most likely gives those that express themselves as curious or bi-sexual so many 'hits" are probably bi-curious males that are too afraid to express it to their wives or girlfriends. Male bi-sexuality is a very taboo subject. It is more acceptable to be gay and not a bi-sexual male.

Lori