Understanding the Single Male

[spicylife42]

We prefer couples as playmates, but that being said we also enjoy an occasional romp with singles.

We will start chatting with a single male and they seem so gung ho and ready to roll, then we won't hear from them for weeks????

Then you have the single male that you hook up with....a txt or an email stating hey had fun something would be nice....or hey if you don't get one of these does that mean they didn't?

We have a single male that we have played with that works a crazy schedule, I have initiated a chat with him and told him we would like to play again but understand his crazy work schedule so for him to give me a little advanced notice and I could get us a room when he could play. Balls in his court....


So if any of you single guys want to chime in to help me understand better.

[TNT]

I'm not exactly sure what it is you are wanting to understand better.

From reading your post a few times I think you're asking why single men don't just drop everything in their life to come play when you're ready to play. If I'm wrong in this, please correct me.

Single men are as varied in swinging as couples are. Their reasons for swinging are also as varied. One thing that they have in common with couples is that most of them do have lives outside of swinging. A lot of couples who swing with single men, seem to forget this.

Through our years of swinging we have observed that a lot of couples who play with single men, do not give the same respect and consideration to them as they do couples in swinging. They look at single men as a thing to be used and not as a person. They seem to think that just because they're a couple willing to play with a single man that he (the single man) should be willing to jump through any hoops they hold out and drop every thing at a moments notice just because they (the couple) are in the mood for a threesome.

Originally Posted by spicylife42

We will start chatting with a single male and they seem so gung ho and ready to roll, then we won't hear from them for weeks????

Then you have the single male that you hook up with....a txt or an email stating hey had fun something would be nice....or hey if you don't get one of these does that mean they didn't?

We have a single male that we have played with that works a crazy schedule, I have initiated a chat with him and told him we would like to play again but understand his crazy work schedule so for him to give me a little advanced notice and I could get us a room when he could play. Balls in his court....

In all of the above if you were to replace single man with couple would you be as questioning and upset? Do you expect more from a single man than you do couples ?

I've always found it funny that when someone complains about something that a single man did or didn't do, that if it were a couple who did the same thing, they would just blow it off and move on.

Single men are not that hard to understand. They are after all just a person and their marital status doesn't change that. They work, they play, they have obligations that take up their time...just like couples and, just like couples you will find good and bad ones in swinging.

All you can do is show the person the same respect and consideration you yourself would like and hope you receive it in return. Sometimes you will and sometimes you won't. When you don't, just move on.


Teresa

[spicylife42]

I am always respectful of others, and try to be extremely understanding.

That is why I posted to gain a better understanding... we are new to this and just trying to get it right.

[absingleman]

Originally Posted by spicylife42

I am always respectful of others, and try to be extremely understanding.

That is why I posted to gain a better understanding... we are new to this and just trying to get it right.

As a single man that just last night had to turn down meeting a single woman who contacted me for this weekend I think I can help a little. TIMING IS EVERYTHING! Again, TIMING IS EVERYTHING!!!

Like it or not, the single men most couples and single women want to hook up with have lives that keep them busy. Whether it is non-lifestyle friends, family, work, or dating, most respectful, honest single men are not laying around all day trying to get laid, and it takes more than a random email to get them interested in you. Sorry, but while we are perpetually horny(just kidding), we know about moderation, responsibility, and priorities. Swinging just is not high on the list of things single men do, and hooking up with a couple who swings is, more often than not, the last thing on his mind. That is, unless both of you have gone out of your way to include him in the list of your FRIENDS! Then he will put you a little higher than the occasional booty calls from single women who may or may not also be swingers and the friends who call at the last minute to go to the bar on the weekend.

That is the flipside of single men and swinging. To most it is just something to do, not something we seriously pursue. Just because he shows up when he says doesn't mean he always wants to show up.

Hope that helps.

[curiousagain]

I don't understand a follow up email/phone call/text unless you see each other regularly and he's already said "thanks, I had a great time" before he left.

There could be a lot of reasons he hasn't gotten back with you and as Teresa said, it could be for the same reasons a couple hadn't gotten back in touch with you.

Just give him a call or text again, see how things are going. I had a planned get together with a couple one time and our family had a major tragedy happen. I didn't swing, date, anything for a while, just tended to family. The couple met up with a couple who are friends of mine and the topic of SM came up at some point, that couple mentioned me to my friends as an example of SM "just disappearing". They asked when that had happened and when told informed them what had happened.

You never know what happens in someone's life till you ask. He may have met someone and fell head over heels and just hasn't gotten around to notifying everybody.

Just ask.

[realcplub2]

its not just the single males but there are couples out there that are just as flighty..

But its also what led us to graduate from the threesome route to couples only.

the biggest complaint most heard everywhere is the fact that most single males take the "hit it and get it" frame of mind. How many wonderful encounters, end up being one nighters? its a frame of mind that leads to the whole conception.


In all honesty, if threesomes are your thing, the best you can hope for is finding someone you can share time with, that enjoys themselves so much they want to cum back for more.