More Advice for the single men

[VegasLee]

Today in my email I received this wisdom and was asked to pass it on to the masses. This advise comes from a couple that has a couple of decades as Swingers along with working in Swing clubs, owning a swing club at one time and throwing parties for 1000's over the years.

This is a couple that LOVES TO PLAY WITH SINGLE MEN so they know what they are talking about.

Hopefully it will help many of you enjoy your time in the Lifestyle and in Life in general.

Now, on the the important part, the part you need to know and learn.

Attention: Following is advice to single guys that will apply to pretty much every couple you might potentially have contact with. It's mostly written for newbies because we've found you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Simply because someone is a member of this site or involved in the lifestyle doesn't mean they're willing to bone you anonymously, at the drop of a hat. You will be shot down many more times than not but we wanted to offer a few tips to help you increase your chances of playing hide the salami.

#1. On initial contact write at least a paragraph in your e-mail detailing yourself and your interests as well as what prompted you to make contact in the first place. "Hello's" and "Wanna plays?" are pretty much headed to the shitcan faster than you can prematurely ejaculate.

#2. One cock pic is generally adequate to showcase your goods, redundancy breeds boredom and penises don't have high cheek bones or eye color or any other attributes the females might find every bit as attractive as your engorged snot nazi.

So you've shipped off a well written e-mail and have received some positive response... Good for you! Now comes the difficult part, living up to the image you portrayed in those e-mails... In virtual reality you may be slaying them but in real reality an entirely different perspective takes place, it's for real!!! Which takes us to.......

#3. Be real. Unless you're a con-man of congressional level, lifestyle people will see through you like saran wrap on a glass bowl. It would be of the utmost importance at this time to have already developed this thing called....

#4. Game. Don't hate the player, hate that motherfucking game. While you are busy hemming and hawing about stamp collecting and dungeons and dragons, during a lull in the conversation another fellow has walked up and proceeded to engage the object of your affection and her partner in some basic small talk, laughed at a few jokes and then tastefully flattered the female into getting moisture downstairs adequate to filling an Olympic size swimming pool. While you sit there wondering what just happened the learned fellow is already flailing away at the creamy va-jayjay that you were so pathetically trying to get into....

#5. Conversation skills. Develop them. Not only will they expedite delivery of the baloney pole in lifestyle situations, they will also help you with every aspect of daily life and make you a friendly, happy person that everyone wants to associate with (not just horny maniacs) Enthusiastically say "Hello".. If you're genuinely happy to meet someone, you might want to add, "So happy to meet you" If you're incapable of smiling, then reflect outwardly that you are happy (and well balanced) with your attitude.

Find a common denominator as a basis for conversation and build upon it (Just not indefinitely... Talking about puppies for example, can get old fast, no matter how simply adorable everyone might think they are)

Let the conversation move along so a multitude of topics are discussed. Engage everyone (husband, wife, interested onlookers) and let them respond, it should be a conversation and not a dialog. Try to gauge the mood of the people you're talking to so you know when it will be appropriate to say something like, "Wow this is fascinating, howza about we go somewhere so I can hose you down with my tube snake?" or something equally appropriate... No, the true player would never lower himself to that level of vulgarity in spite of the amusing responses he might receive... He would however, be gracious to the husband, flattering to the wife and work himself towards what everyone involved is wanting in the first place.

Generally speaking you will have to make the first move and it will have to be done through spoken communication definitely NOT physical. On some occasions when one has adequately primed her pump (so to speak) She might be reaching for the goods before you can get out of public view, leaving the situation wide open (so to speak) That would be the best case scenario for you. There is one thing however that can put a stop to the whole thing, leaving you high and dry with a blistering case of blue balls and that is.....

#6. The husband... Although you might be incredibly smooth talking and have her bullshitted to the point of performing blumpkins, the husband is generally the last word on the subject. If he is not included in the conversation, you probably won't be included in anything involving them (Because swinging is a "Them" thing) ALWAYS keep the husband included in the conversation, always be respectful, ask, "May I dance with your wife?" Ask him about rules (cause you might not get all of them from just her) Be aware of his comfort, security or insecurity level. He is the ultimate deal maker or breaker so respect him, they are opening up the most intimate part of their relationship and you are a candidate, be honored not a douchebag.

#7. Know when to hang it up. You've been charming, thoughtful and a gentleman straight across the board but there are no motors revving... When a meeting has played out, regardless of the results be aware of it. There's nothing more tedious then silently sitting at a table with someone who has no interest. Alternately, you've been charming, thoughtful and respectful and they're ready to play, you get a bad vibe, go with your gut and hang it up. Develop enough self esteem to be able to walk away from a scene, no matter how much your dick wants to stay and party.

There you have it folks.... I just checked my e-mail and read a note in it's entirety that said. "Big cock for you." How debonair....

[DigginIt]

Absolutely love this. I have often sat around with my wife and looked at some of the things men put on their profiles. I personally wouldn't write or say half of the things these guys put in their profiles. The ones that write the best profiles seem to be married guys cheating on their wives that we won't play with.

Honestly though, I'd rather they NOT read this because I don't want a disrespectful jackass to camouflage themselves better to increase their odds of getting into our bed.

[sweet_tna]

We couldn't have put it better ourselves.

=)

[gringotrailer]

being 'new' and single - I thank you. Will practice my writing skills and look forward to getting the job.

[TwoAreLooking]

You are a smart man, Vegas Lee.

You, too, Spoo.

M

[rathor]

Originally Posted by VegasLee

Today in my email I received this wisdom and was asked to pass it on to the masses. This advise comes from a couple that has a couple of decades as Swingers along with working in Swing clubs, owning a swing club at one time and throwing parties for 1000's over the years.

.. ....

Great Vegas Lee, many thanks for India for this

[Mr.Essex]

Good advice, but I have to say that I'd never knowingly swing with anyone who referred to a penis as a snot Nazi.

[dave110256]

I think that's fantastic advice. The only thing I'd add is never communicate with the wife without the husband's knowledge and approval. We're not looking for someone looking to try to cheat with the wife on the side.