Widow in the Lifestyle.... now

northindycpl · 12-19-2009, 03:51 PM

It's been awhile since I've posted, but I would like to get some opinions.

Mr. Indy passed away very suddenly. Since, I haven't participated in the lifestyle (or had sex for that matter) at all.

I feel like I am ready to get out there a little bit again. At least to have some fun.

We had been in the lifestyle for a very long time, and I miss it. I am also scared to go it alone.

What do you suggest?

**Alura** · 12-19-2009, 04:15 PM

Hi, Mrs. Indy!

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Mr. Indy. I'd like to give you some advice on how to cope, but I have a lot of doubt that I have any idea since the loss of Mrs. Alura last February. People constantly tell me that time will heal the wounds. I'm sure it will, but in the meantime...

As I said, I really haven't much advice to offer but I did want to say "Hello" to someone in the same boat, express my understanding, and wish you the best in the future.

Mr. Alura

prometheius · 12-19-2009, 04:26 PM

Mrs.indy, you have my sympathy, I can't begin to imagine what it's like to suffer your loss.

Quote:

Originally Posted by northindycpl

I feel like I am ready to get out there a little bit again. At least to have some fun.

We had been in the lifestyle for a very long time, and I miss it. I am also scared to go it alone.

What do you suggest?

Based on the fact that you are ready to get out and have some fun, and that you do miss it, I would say go for it! I can understand being hesitant to go it alone. Seeing that you have been on Swing Lifestyle since 04, perhaps you have made friends that you could hang out with?

Mr. Truelove · 12-19-2009, 04:41 PM

I agree with prometheius, and also share her sympathies. Do you know anyone that you had played with in the past? It might be one of the safer ways to play since you know what you are getting. Just a thought.

**fun4Ds** · 12-19-2009, 05:19 PM

It's so good to hear from you again, Mrs.Indy

Its been a long time and I for one, miss hearing your thoughts. We have shared many things in the Swingers Board community. Laughter, emotional highs and lows, our likes, dislikes, pleasures and pains. I can say yes, even tears at times.

Why not get involved here for a bit and talk with us ? It's a start, right ? I'd love that !

Instead of thinking alone.... why not think, new beginnings with old friends ?

**Alura** · 12-19-2009, 09:58 PM

Hey, I'll bet a Meet Up! would be good for you. We need to plan some, folks!

Alura

Mr. Truelove · 12-19-2009, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alura

Hey, I'll bet a Meet Up! would be good for you. We need to plan some, folks!

Alura

That is kind of what I was thinking.

**Alura** · 12-19-2009, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Truelove

That is kind of what I was thinking.

How about Ft. Wayne, Mr. Truelove?

Alura

Mr. Truelove · 12-20-2009, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alura

How about Ft. Wayne, Mr. Truelove?

Alura

I open to Fort Wayne. I'll talk to Mrs. Truelove about it over the next couple days.

ALilOEverything · 12-20-2009, 10:09 AM

My heart goes out to you Mrs. NorthIndy. When I run across your old posts I wondered what you were up to.

I know I didn't have a loss but I did get divorced and the lifestyle didn't really appeal to me as a single so I never really did anything as a single female. I know divorce doesn't really compare other than it left me alone. Do you have old friends you could contact for a fun night out? There could be the comfort in knowing your safe and maybe start taking you down a path to see where you would want to go.

***JustAskJulie*** · 12-20-2009, 12:35 PM

So sorry to hear about your loss. We always enjoyed having you guys around here, so know you are always welcome and still part of this family.

**two4youinswva** · 12-20-2009, 10:16 PM

We are so sorry to hear this. I've missed your posts, and hope you'll become a regular around here again.

NealnAnji · 12-22-2009, 02:23 PM

We are so sorry to hear about your loss. It is sad for a woman to lose her longtime partner.
That said, we have openly welcomed widowed women wanting to swing, into our social/sexual life and into our bedroom for play and for her to have sexual intercourse with hubby. This has greatly helped to ease her way back into the swinging lifestyle as a single female.
Time does heal all wounds, particularly when helped by your friends in the swinging lifestyle, when the female or wife of the couple is open to welcoming a widow into their sex life, so she can again enjoy sex with another man, with confidence and security, after the loss of her own husband.

hoistsail · 12-22-2009, 02:58 PM

I'm sorry for your loss and understand what it is to loose someone quickly.

I would hope that you had some friends in the swing scene and that they would be very accomidating to help get you back in the swing of it.

And I'm sure there are folks on this site that would be willing to help too. I would think that an old friend would be the best way to start.

As for me I will be in North Indy for a few days in early January and willing to help.

Trace Ekies · 12-23-2009, 03:21 PM

Your loss is tragic and unimaginable for most of us...I hope we as your friends can carry away at least some of your pain and make you smile.

I agree with the others that some trusted friends would be helpful here. Familiarity, while not a hallmark of swinging, would seem to be in order for you at a time like this. Old friends that you can count on to be what you need would be nice...

Or maybe not...maybe you need to go in headfirst and see how the water feels. Find something that's a bit off the beaten path for you and try it on.

Either way, you can't go wrong and we hope you continue to enjoy yourself and smile at the memories from past experiences.

Trace and Mrs. Ekies

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12-19-2009, 03:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
northindycpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 1,425 Location: Indiana Status: Blissfull SITCOM Swing Lifestyle Name:northindycpl	Widow in the Lifestyle.... now It's been awhile since I've posted, but I would like to get some opinions. Mr. Indy passed away very suddenly. Since, I haven't participated in the lifestyle (or had sex for that matter) at all. I feel like I am ready to get out there a little bit again. At least to have some fun. We had been in the lifestyle for a very long time, and I miss it. I am also scared to go it alone. What do you suggest?
	__________________ Mrs. Indy

12-19-2009, 04:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now Hi, Mrs. Indy! I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Mr. Indy. I'd like to give you some advice on how to cope, but I have a lot of doubt that I have any idea since the loss of Mrs. Alura last February. People constantly tell me that time will heal the wounds. I'm sure it will, but in the meantime... As I said, I really haven't much advice to offer but I did want to say "Hello" to someone in the same boat, express my understanding, and wish you the best in the future. Mr. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

12-19-2009, 04:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mr. Truelove Wearing a evil grin Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,198 Location: Fort Wayne Status: Married Male Swing Lifestyle Name:Thetrueloves	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now I agree with prometheius, and also share her sympathies. Do you know anyone that you had played with in the past? It might be one of the safer ways to play since you know what you are getting. Just a thought.
	__________________ The most fun I can never tell anyone about!

12-19-2009, 05:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
fun4Ds Julie's Helper Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,487 Location: Behind door #2 Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:mrmrsfun	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now It's so good to hear from you again, Mrs.Indy Its been a long time and I for one, miss hearing your thoughts. We have shared many things in the Swingers Board community. Laughter, emotional highs and lows, our likes, dislikes, pleasures and pains. I can say yes, even tears at times. Why not get involved here for a bit and talk with us ? It's a start, right ? I'd love that ! Instead of thinking alone.... why not think, new beginnings with old friends ?
	Last edited by fun4Ds; 12-19-2009 at 05:22 PM.

12-19-2009, 09:58 PM	#6 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,136 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now Hey, I'll bet a Meet Up! would be good for you. We need to plan some, folks! Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers

12-20-2009, 10:09 AM	#10 (permalink)
ALilOEverything A Little Of Everything Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 1,847 Location: Michigan Status: M. Female Swing Lifestyle Name:aliloeverything	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now My heart goes out to you Mrs. NorthIndy. When I run across your old posts I wondered what you were up to. I know I didn't have a loss but I did get divorced and the lifestyle didn't really appeal to me as a single so I never really did anything as a single female. I know divorce doesn't really compare other than it left me alone. Do you have old friends you could contact for a fun night out? There could be the comfort in knowing your safe and maybe start taking you down a path to see where you would want to go.
	__________________ ~Lilo

12-20-2009, 12:35 PM	#11 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 29,288 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now So sorry to hear about your loss. We always enjoyed having you guys around here, so know you are always welcome and still part of this family.
	__________________ Julie - your hostess The Swinger Manual - all the info from the Swingers Board in one convenient book

12-20-2009, 10:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
two4youinswva Better than Ice Cream Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 6,651 Location: va Status: Couple. He posts, She reads	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now We are so sorry to hear this. I've missed your posts, and hope you'll become a regular around here again.
	__________________ Knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say....

12-22-2009, 02:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
NealnAnji Here to Play Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 149 Location: IL Status: Married couple Swing Lifestyle Name:neal7310	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now We are so sorry to hear about your loss. It is sad for a woman to lose her longtime partner. That said, we have openly welcomed widowed women wanting to swing, into our social/sexual life and into our bedroom for play and for her to have sexual intercourse with hubby. This has greatly helped to ease her way back into the swinging lifestyle as a single female. Time does heal all wounds, particularly when helped by your friends in the swinging lifestyle, when the female or wife of the couple is open to welcoming a widow into their sex life, so she can again enjoy sex with another man, with confidence and security, after the loss of her own husband.
	__________________ nealnanji

12-22-2009, 02:58 PM	#14 (permalink)
hoistsail Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 106 Location: NC Status: Couple	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now I'm sorry for your loss and understand what it is to loose someone quickly. I would hope that you had some friends in the swing scene and that they would be very accomidating to help get you back in the swing of it. And I'm sure there are folks on this site that would be willing to help too. I would think that an old friend would be the best way to start. As for me I will be in North Indy for a few days in early January and willing to help.

12-23-2009, 03:21 PM	#15 (permalink)
Trace Ekies Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 489 Location: Central Florida Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:swyngcpl	Re: Widow in the Lifestyle.... now Your loss is tragic and unimaginable for most of us...I hope we as your friends can carry away at least some of your pain and make you smile. I agree with the others that some trusted friends would be helpful here. Familiarity, while not a hallmark of swinging, would seem to be in order for you at a time like this. Old friends that you can count on to be what you need would be nice... Or maybe not...maybe you need to go in headfirst and see how the water feels. Find something that's a bit off the beaten path for you and try it on. Either way, you can't go wrong and we hope you continue to enjoy yourself and smile at the memories from past experiences. Trace and Mrs. Ekies
	__________________ 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

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