Just how rare are unicorns?

[Rackir]

Some recent talk about unicorns (aka single ladies in the lifestyle) has me curious about this. Of the 6 different people/couples we have played with as a couple, 3 of them were single women (2 couples, 1 single male and 3 "unicorns"). It wasn’t until I started reading this board that I realized that single women who like to play are considered really rare.

So my question is, just how rare are they really (and my apologies to single women who read this for referring to you in such an objectifying manner)?

Maybe my perspective is skewed, because until recently we did not seek out play partners through any organized way, but rather we met them in our vanilla life and invited them home with us. As such I found that it is easier to approach single women than it is to approach couples. As such, and because they are generally much more accepted at parties and clubs, I had honestly thought that single women were more involved in the lifestyle than are single men.

So whats your take, are "unicorns" mythical objects spoken of but never seen, or have you found that the hype of the single woman rarity is out of proportion to reality?

[TheLorax]

I think that the perception in clubs is that they are rare because they seem to get snapped up quickly so are taken out of circulation. Kinda like collectable coins

My perception over the years has been while the numbers of single men vs single women in the lifestyle are like 10:1, there are a fair number of women who would swing, but who aren't involved in the lifestyle. I've had a number of single women involved with us (for various values of "us" not counting my current circumstances) who had never done any swinging at all, nor probably would in the future outside of situations like ours.

[lookingfornow]

In four years, we have met five single females who play regularly with others. Each introduction was by way of a common acquaintance with whom we had played. While each of the ladies has a profile on one or another of the swinger type websites, four of the five admit to rarely responding to unsolicited e-mails (using the site merely as a tool for meeting people through other acquaintances).

A disclaimer...we have never been unicorn hunters. So, it probably makes sense that we would only meet single females through acquaintances. However--at least for the single women who we have met--our sense is that they can find plenty of new play friends through introductions made by their existing play friends. Introductions mean less risk of phonies, less risk of drama, and greater likelihood of shared interests and compatibility (everyone knowing what they are after). So, in our experience, Unicorns are not truly mythical, just difficult for the uninitiated to find.

[Chicup]

Part of the reason they are rare is that the unicorns they are looking for are of this variety....

[SecretAsianMan]

I've known a few gals who'd be classified as (what I call) a unicorn... however, most of them do not consider themselves swingers.

Finding one who is a "swinger" who's also totally unattached to any other couple or single-guy is rather difficult (in my experience) ... TheLorax is right, they're sort of like collectables in that they often get snatched up right quick!

[SuperJast]

I have wondered the same thing.

We have never had a problem acquiring long term, (or short term) single, female playmates. We had no idea it was a rarity.


If anything, I have had a hard time seeking the "single male" that we desired,..but recently think I may have found someone suitable.


Maybe it`s just a unwritten law,..If you are hunting for it, it will vanish.

[VegasLee]

I could not bring myself to answer any of the questions in your poll since I did not feel any of them applied to something I would say.

Over the years we have had many single women that hung out and partied with us even though we have NEVER gone looking for a single lady. Laura is not bi so as a couple we have no real need for a single women. We don't tend to party as a couple so yes, I ended up partying with the single women that hung out with us.

Where most couples mess up is many don't understand that MOST of the single women in the Lifestyle are not looking to party with a couple, they are looking to party with the single guys and/or husbands that are allowed to play. Some are bi and are into the couple thing but not most. If the single women is not bi a couple really does not have anything to offer her that she can not get with a single guy and no baggage to deal with.

As in hunting couples, the more people you involve, the harder it is to find that many that like each other enough to want to party with them.

They are there, not in great numbers but they are out there if you look long enough. I do know couples that have gone to clubs for years and not found one they both could agree on though. Way to much work for me.

[UnicornChasers]

I think our status on the poll is pretty well known by now :P.

[fun4Ds]

Medium rare, warm and juicy on the inside.....

[ratimadan]

Unicorns are not as rare as you would think. We consider an unattached woman who would love to play and get fucked by hubby a unicorn. I am not bi and she need not be either. If hubby fucks her and has a great time, fine with me. I have been approached by quite a few over the years asking if they could borrow, i.e., fuck hubby, over a weekend.

I am the gatekeeper.

R (mrs)

[Karmickiss]

Hi All,
I could have sworn I answered to this...but maybe not...if I did and it was moved...sorry about that! Honestly, I had no idea I was "rarity"...really..but then, I too, ended up in many of my experiences, just "running into" playmates when not "looking"..so maybe I just don't have the resources to say?

I know that now, as a single bi female...I keep getting feedback from local couples that say, yes, you are rare....lol..and maybe the site I go to, just has lot's of responding people in general. It's funny b/c I only recently feel like I ran across the term. It felt like I found many open minded females through gay community/clubs..but hesitate to say so, it's my own subjective experience, I suppose....I'm learning still, all the time.

I will say there's a certain thrill being single and in the lifestyle, no better or worse when with a partner...but just "different" There seems to be pros and cons to each situation...b/c of course, I don't right now have that partner to compare notes with..and "hunting" together, bringing us closer..etc...and at the same time..it's a really liberating feeling too, going solo. I'm just happy to "be" lately.....Best Wishes for all, Karmic

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by lookingfornow

In four years, we have met five single females who play regularly with others. Each introduction was by way of a common acquaintance with whom we had played.

Based upon our experience, this is true. I will add my own personal observation. You do not find a unicorn; she finds you.

~Michael

[xxoticangel]

We've had a few FMFs over the years and all but one was with the female half of a couple. The one single female we've played with was a former co-worker of mine that we happened to run into at the gas station of all places. Although she is bi she would never consider herself a swinger or think about attending a swingers club.
IMHO single females in the "swinging" world are pretty rare. I think you have a better chance of finding a unicorn in the vanilla world. Usually the female of the couple has some type of relationship with the SF before play happens. Any hobby the female half has that brings her into contact with other women would be a good place to look. The gym seems to be a good place.

[ratimadan]

Originally Posted by xxoticangel

We've had a few FMFs over the years and all but one was with the female half of a couple. The one single female we've played with was a former co-worker of mine that we happened to run into at the gas station of all places. Although she is bi she would never consider herself a swinger or think about attending a swingers club.
IMHO single females in the "swinging" world are pretty rare. I think you have a better chance of finding a unicorn in the vanilla world. Usually the female of the couple has some type of relationship with the SF before play happens. Any hobby the female half has that brings her into contact with other women would be a good place to look. The gym seems to be a good place.

Very true! That's our experience too. You don't find unicorns in the wild.
We have found them from social connections-work, social (nonswinger) groups, you name it. Just keep your eyes and ears open and you will find them.
It certainly helps to have a hubby that's friendly, outgoing, handsome and sexy.

[absingleman]

I belong to a vanilla dating site (I think I've said this before) and the majority of women that responed to my emails and the two I actually met are single bi females that are also active swingers. And THEY contacted ME first, not the other way around.

They are out there. You just have to keep your eyes and ears open. When they want you to find them, its almost scary how easy it is to hook up. When they don't want you to find them, they can be right under your nose and you'll never see them. They are good at blending into the background. That was not a power they had in Dungeons and Dragons, so I spent a ....

sorry. Rambling. logging out now. too much caffiennnnee.