How we find single bi women to hook up with :)

[ShinyHappyGirl]

[this is REALLY long.. sorry!! lol]

Someone asked me about this topic in my introduction thread so I figured I'd do a little community service and share the tactics my hubby and I employ when looking for a third.

Just a quick little background on us: we are a married couple. been together for about 6 years now, married for 1. we are in our 20s and we started off our relationship right away indulging in threesomes together. i'm a bisexual girl and he's a straight guy. I'm not really into other guys (i may not be bi but actually just a perverted lesbian lol) so we aren't actually swingers. Instead we just enjoy threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes (lol) with other women. And then we also both are free to link up with other women without one another. We discuss all hook-ups ahead of time and both have equal veto power. we are both uber-picky though so we end up playing solo more often than we end up playing together.

ANYWAY! On to the topic at hand.


Important Note
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The way we find single girls to play with varies a bit depending on the girl. But in almost every case, we are NOT open with women about our relationship status. Single women are VERY threatened by married couples, sometimes because of their own insecurities about not being married themselves. There is no need to actually LIE about your marital status. But in casual sex scenarios, most single women won't ask a lot of questions. So it is pretty much "don't ask, don't tell."

In short, leave the wedding rings/bands at home! And if you bring people home, try to tone down your house. Just tuck away photos of the two of you together or obvious signs that a man AND a woman live there. Keeping your fucking to a guest room or den is an easy fix for this.

And by all means, don't try to be best friends with the poor girl. Single women are there for sex, not companionship. Except in VERY rare instances, you are NOT going to end up as a happy three-way long term relationship couple so there is no reason to ruin a good sex-only situation by getting emotions involved. Be nice, stay in touch casually, hang out, don't fuck EVERY time you hang out, make sure she has at least 4 orgasms every time you do fuck, and by all means invite her to a foursome once in awhile! But don't smother her. She is single for a reason!!!!!!


"Vanilla" Nightclubs
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The easiest way is to simply hang out in "kinda" Vanilla nightclubs. In major cities, especially ones that get a lot of tourists, being "bi" is very vogue right now for girls in their 20s. While the nightclub you pick may not be known as a bi spot, a large percentage of the girls there are actually bi-friendly, evidenced by all the girl-on-girl dancing and making out that regularly goes down in the VIP areas of the clubs. So the approach in that situation is simple. Me OR hubby will start dancing with the girl and once a few sparks fly, the other spouse casually joins in. As the night progresses and flirtation and drinks flow, it is pretty easy to convince the girl to come back to our room or apartment. Although really most of the time a hook-up will go down in a private VIP room or even a large VIP bathroom.

This is also the situation in which you are most likely to end up in a foursome or more. Finding two hot and ready bisexual girls in a Vegas or South Beach nightclub is NOT difficult or even remotely rare. Just look for the two attention whores who are already dancing and making out together and then make them feel like rock stars (or porn stars lol).

Nightclub chicks are also the most likely to let you video tape the encounter LOL. Nice bonus!


Solo Missions
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This is honestly the best way. Now I know a lot of swinging couples have a strict policy AGAINST solo hook-ups so this may not work, but hear me out.
Because facing a couple can be threatening to many single girls, we find it much more efficient to link up with girls individually first and THEN bring them back home for a threesome (or more). Sometimes I'll meet girls online, in the nightclub scene, or just at random. I am VERY careful to try to NEVER pick lesbians. A bi girl or a bi-curious girl is the best bet. Reading people's profile pages on myspace/facebook or meeting them in straight nightclubs is the best way to avoid lesbians. A small little flirtatious relationship will develop over a week or so and at some point I will have sex with her. After that point (or sometimes during the act) is when I test the waters to see just how kinky she is and whether or not she'd like to link up with a guy. In the heat of the moment, the answer is almost always a yes (lol) so then I file that info away. I find that I have to sleep with a girl at LEAST twice on my own before inviting her to a threesome. If hubby likes her photo and my review of her, then I'll ask her if she wants to come over to watch a movie or go to a strip club. I personally like the strip club date best because then I can just say that hubby is going to be our designated driver so that we can get hammered. He is introduced as a friend. Once on the date, it is now HIS job to flirt with her and to make sure she realizes that I see it. It is MY job to make sure she sees that I am okay with the flirting AND intrigued/turned-on by it. From there the rest happens naturally. If sparks fly, we take her home and fuck her brains out. If the sparks don't, then sometimes I'll end up taking her home and fucking her while hubby politely listens from the next room lol. Or sometimes absolutely nothing will happen and I'll just cross the girl off my list. (Unless the sex was great in which case i may keep her on the side for myself)

The process works the exact same way when hubby is the one bringing home the girls. The trust that is built up in a swinging relationship seems perfectly suited for this approach because you KNOW that your husband isn't out sleeping with women that he plans to leave you for. Therefore you are okay with it and trust his word when AFTER sleeping with a girl he tells you that she isn't right for a threesome. And this WILL happen!!! It is way more often that the man will end up with a straight girl by accident than the woman will end up with a lesbian. And while in bed with her discussing fantasies, he may find that the girl's "preference" is completely incompatible with his wife's actual looks. Nothing you can do about that! It happens!

To us, hooking up with other girls on our own is great fun. Finding one who wants to join in for a threesome (and one that the other spouse actually wants in a threesome) is just an added bonus!


Being the "Freaks" in your vanilla circle
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This is the funniest approach but it also works. Within our circle of vanilla friends, many of them are well aware of our "situation." This tends to work in our favor when a friend or a friend of a friend decides she wants to experiment with women. We are pretty much the "go to" couple in that regard lol. Usually it will happen at a drunken house party or sometimes it will be a completely random email from a straight female friend nervously asking if she can come over to "hang out." lol Those situations are dealt with delicately with us letting the girl take the lead. We are never aggressive with friends because we don't want them to later resent being "coaxed" into a situation or feeling like they were "setup." But if they have the balls to inquire, they usually are extremely aggressive once they make it to our couch or bed. And almost ALWAYS it ends up being just a one time thing that is never discussed again LOL


Strippers!!
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If you and your spouse are sexy and charismatic, then strippers are truly a sure thing. And I don't mean paying for sex either. [While some couples feel paying for a hooker is a great short cut to a threesome, there is something to be said about the motivation of a woman who is there just for an orgasm and not a paycheck.]
Just hit up strip clubs in any and every city you find yourself in. Work the odds by visiting lots of them. Be nice, smell good, flirt, tip (not TOO much of you will attract hookers), and see if you can peak any girl's interest. Yes they are there to work, but they are also human. If a stripper is turned on by you or your wife and feels a connection, she will want to go home with you. Maybe not the first night, but for sure the second time she sees you two. Just be sure not to monopolize her time at the actual club unless u plan to compensate her for it. Besides, looking needy is never attractive anyway.
I know you guys don't believe me about the stripper thing but seriously, they get horny just like anyone else of course. They do enjoy sex in their personal lives Our best threesomes have been with strippers, usually ones that we didn't tip a dime the entire night prior to taking them home.
Same goes for hot waitresses or hostesses at bars or restaurants. Have the wife be the one to ask her for her number and see if she wants to maybe "hang out" when she gets off work. If the attraction is there and continues to build on the date, you are in for a good time!




Okay that is all I can think of for the moment... Comments and criticisms please!! And of course questions! I hope this helped or at least gave folks some ideas for their own situations

[SW_PA_Couple]

Very interesting; thanks for sharing your observations and experiences. I too have observed that single women generally do not want to discuss home or occupation. Having realized this, I have recently been staying away from the question, "So what do you do?" whether with singles or couples.

~Michael

[slevin]

Thanks for sharing that, it was me who was asking for the details on how you find single girls. Great information and a lot to think about there! We don't do the clubbing thing unfortunately, but I can definitely see how that is a great way to make this happen.

Thanks for taking the time to write up such a detailed explanation When Katrina gets home I'm going to pull her over to read through it and chat about it together!