How I, a single white man, have had success in the LS

[Reminiscent]

The reasons for my posting this are perhaps a bit narcissistic, perhaps a bit altruistic. I'm betting that there are quite a few men out (really, there's no need to bet. I KNOW there are) who fit my basic description very well, and would very much like to get involved in this... and who knows. Maybe someone might benefit from my story.

I suppose the title is fairly self explanatory; I'm a single white man, currently 24 years old at the time of this posting, average height (5'9"-5'10"), average cock (6.5", proportional girth). I'm athletic, but not incredibly muscular, but kind of lean. Good looking, but not to the point of being a model. Pretty straight...marginally bi-curious but thus far, I've not been especially motivated to explore that.

Essentially, the point is that based on my outward appearances, it wouldn't seem like I'd be the type of guy to stand out in a crowd or have any luck in the swinging scene. However, I have been with a few couples over the past few years, first in Missouri during the time I lived there and now in SoCal.

Now, I'm not going to lie, I won't pretend that I get as much interest as a young, bisexual girl... but I do think that the way I've gone about getting involved in the swinging scene has been much more successful than most horny young men.

My first exposure to the LS was when a friend of mine gave me the link to Swing Lifestyle, and as a somewhat frustrated student at an engineering school (as you can imagine, there was a pretty poor M/F ratio), I jumped at this amazing, wonderful opportunity to get some. Seems like a perfect idea, right?

Of course, my initial profile didn't get too many responses and the few I did get were a little too... out there for my tastes. Still, I learned from that, and started changing my strategy (and my attitude) as well.

What I did learn is that it's a really good idea to become friends with couples. After all, here's a man who could potentially give the ok for you to have sex with his wife (a very taboo act). He needs to trust you and like you for that. On the flip side, his wife needs to trust and like you in order to consider having sex with you, too.

Yes, swinging involves wild times and crazy sex... but there really is more to it than that. I go to barbecues with couples I know, see movies, go to wine tastings, go on camping trips, visit casinos, and a lot of other things that I would do with my more traditional friends. Because that's the thing; I really do enjoy the time I spend with these very interesting friends of mine outside of the bedroom as well as inside. Plus, given that these are people who are wholly comfortable with you seeing them naked and in all sorts of compromising positions, you can be more open with them than you could with just about any other friends.

Of course you have to be careful... you have to go in with the attitude (and I really do believe that your attitude translates into your words and mannerisms) that you're not there to replace anyone, that you're not going to break up anyone's marriage, that you're going to respect boundaries, and that you might make some wonderful friends out of this.

In essence, my advice is this: be polite, considerate, and go in with the idea that you're going to be meeting some great people, and keep those wild sex fantasies on the back burner until the time right.

I hope that my thoughts are helpful in some way

[vep050176]

I have to say, you hit the nail on the head. My wife loves it when a guy talks to her and makes her feel at ease. Too many guys think they can just walk up to her and say "you want to get a room". That is just a TURN Off. You sound like someone she would love to meet. Keep that attitude and you'll always have success. Maybe sometime our paths will cross. We especially like to go to the Rooster in Vegas.

vinp

[CBSturdley]

I've recently ended a relationship with an incredibly loving and passionate woman. It obviously wasn't the sex. We partied at Playmates, enjoyed threesomes and a lifestyle relationship with several couples.

All of a sudden I'm not a couple in the lifestyle. I'm single...and treated as though I have leprosy...at clubs, listings, parties. It is an unenviable position to be in. Two responses I've recently had through a site was from ladies who sere skamming and wanting to charge for their time instead of practicing our lifestyle.