Why is it so difficult to connect with single females?

[NaughtyCouple06]

I am pretty sure this is a repeat question but i have used the search block for a few days and nothing concrete.

Why is it so hard to find people to fool around with? My wife and I are just starting this awesome life and as of right now, we are only into girls. It seems like pulling teeth trying to find girls to hang out with that aren't close friends already. We are trying to meet new people that enjoy our same "interest" but no luck. We have tried NUMEROUS sites and local clubs, as in 2 clubs, and nothing. ANY HELP???

[bbarnsworth]

You're looking for the mythical unicorn for an FMF. There's a reason single bi women are called unicorns in the lifestyle. It is not impossible to find what you are looking for, but it is difficult. You just have to keep trying. Eventually, it will work out.

[NaughtyCouple06]

Unicorn huh? Never heard of that. I can understand that they are difficult to find but i didn't think it was going to be this hard. I know that single bi females are still attracted to males and by the time me or my wife get to them, they are already with a male and she wants him to join.

Wish this was easier. I appreciate the help thoughs

[bbarnsworth]

Originally Posted by NaughtyCouple06

Unicorn huh? Never heard of that. I can understand that they are difficult to find but i didn't think it was going to be this hard. I know that single bi females are still attracted to males and by the time me or my wife get to them, they are already with a male and she wants him to join.

Wish this was easier. I appreciate the help thoughs

It's just that there is a limited "supply" (sorry for the term) of unicorns out there. Further, there is a very large demand for them...a large number of couples are looking for unicorns. So, for the unicorns that ARE out there, it's easy for them to find FMF situations if that is what they are looking for. Very easy.

You'll have considerably better luck if you expand your horizons to couples or single males. You can keep looking for single females, but still get to play in the meantime.

[NaughtyCouple06]

this is very true. It is the wife that is uncomfortable with the idea of another male in the situtation, not myself. I know she isn't ok with a MFM thing because there is another male there so that pretty much rules out a couple thing. She said once we play around with what she wants first, then she MIGHT be more open to the idea later...MAYBE

[femnewb4u2]

Originally Posted by NaughtyCouple06

Why is it so hard to find people to fool around with? My wife and I are just starting this awesome life and as of right now, we are only into girls. It seems like pulling teeth trying to find girls to hang out with that aren't close friends already. We are trying to meet new people that enjoy our same "interest" but no luck. We have tried NUMEROUS sites and local clubs, as in 2 clubs, and nothing. ANY HELP???

If you have a profile on a site such as Swing Lifestyle, you may want to consider posting the link to it under the "Finding People on Line" forum. You will see a thread for "couples profile reviews". Those of us who are bi single females, or have been at one time, as well as the couples who have been with the unicorn, could review it for you. Maybe there would be some pointers we could give you in that which may help.

[NaughtyCouple06]

we do have a profile that i started but the wife isn't ok with putting our pic up. She is afraid of other people finding out and i have to respect that so our pic isn't on the website

[exploringRM]

I've seen many couples profiles that are into women only. They usually specify that the women play together and the guys join in with their own partner. That might be a way for you to go? I don't know how successful these couples are.

[NaughtyCouple06]

well i appreciate the feedback but the wife and i are looking for a girl to share equally.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by NaughtyCouple06

we do have a profile that i started but the wife isn't ok with putting our pic up. She is afraid of other people finding out and i have to respect that so our pic isn't on the website

Have you been contacting single bi-fems on Swing Lifestyle who don't have pictures? Just curious if you contact women without seeing what they look like.

The avatar you use here on SB must not be of you then, correct?

Profiles with pictures will receive more interest and there are ways to take pictures that won't reveal who you are. The avatar you have here does a pretty good job of hiding the identity of the man and woman in the picture.

You say that you've tried to meet single women at 2 clubs without success. Tell us more about what your club experiences have been, maybe there will be some clues there as to why you're having trouble.

Welcome to the Board.

LM

[NaughtyCouple06]

Originally Posted by LikeMinds321

Have you been contacting single bi-fems on Swing Lifestyle who don't have pictures? Just curious if you contact women without seeing what they look like.

The avatar you use here on SB must not be of you then, correct?

Profiles with pictures will receive more interest and there are ways to take pictures that won't reveal who you are. The avatar you have here does a pretty good job of hiding the identity of the man and woman in the picture.

You say that you've tried to meet single women at 2 clubs without success. Tell us more about what your club experiences have been, maybe there will be some clues there as to why you're having trouble.

Welcome to the Board.


LM

Hi,
we actually have been contacting people on slife without pics because in the past, we have come to the conclusion that some work out to be pretty cool people. We just look at what they have to say about themselves and their stats and go from there. You would be correct to assume that the avatar on this site is NOT us.

Unfortunately, slife requires you to have a profile pic of your face if you have the free membership. I want to pay for the site but as of right now, we haven't had good success with it so i have no reason to pay for it, you know? If i coule take a pic of our bodies or our tattoos and put it up as the profile pic with a free account, i would have done that already. I am just trying to keep my wife's comfort level down and for now, our pics can't go up.

When it comes to the club situtation, first off, my wife and i aren't party goers. I mean dont get me wrong, we can get down and have a night of our lives when we feel like it but we tend to just kick back at a bar and just relax and drink. I think that is one of our problems. I have tried and i always get cocked blocked because i have a wedding ring on when i talk to other girls. First indication that this lifestyle isn't accepted. When it comes to my wife, we either get flakes or just out right liers.

We have tired and been trying for months with no success. Craigslist, AFF, Swing Lifestyle and local bars. We even went out of town and tried it there...nothing. That is why i am here now. We need to learn from others and be in a place where we can feel comfortable.

I hope this isnt to aggressive. I am not trying to be.

[Chicup]

I've always wondered how it is that when people post about looking for an FMF and its the guy posting, its always his woman thats against the idea of another man.

Just makes you think.

[NaughtyCouple06]

i dont know what to say...i am for the idea. I dont care...i kinda interests me...

the wife isn't a forum girl. I have tried and tried to get her to be but she just sits here and watches me

[PB&J]

Originally Posted by NaughtyCouple06

Unfortunately, slife requires you to have a profile pic of your face if you have the free membership.

I don't understand. I have a free membership, and believe me, there is no profile pic of my face out there.

[Dave_kat]

The wonderful search for the elusive unicorn...

You limit yourself greatly when you seek only single bi-fems as you have been told. Even at clubs, the single bi-fem is generally in high demand and has their choice of who/when/where etc.

We did some statistical research on Swing Lifestyle one time when we were accused of prejudice against single males. It turned out that there was something like 1 single female for every 10 single males and 1 single female per 50 couples within 50 miles of our house. Those are very short odds when seeking the unicorn.

The only thing we can suggest is perhaps going to a gay club and hanging out with the ladies there. Oftentimes you can find a bi-fem intermixed with that group as well (If you were in Savannah we'd suggest Club 1, we've had surprising success there).

A lot of single bi-fems that we know don't use websites as well to seek dates, they usually know from hanging out who is who and what is what.

You might have more success as well opening up to soft swap - fem-fem play as has been mentioned. The only argument you might make with regards to that is that swinger's have much better control over their actions than most will think, and males that don't respect "no" or try to cross those lines don't last very long in the lifestyle. In other words, you have a very good chance to enjoy a bisexual encounter for your wife going along those lines than else, and it is probably not only safer but potentially leads to more as the comfort grows. This does mean that you wouldn't be able to share equally, but no solution will be perfect.

We would seriously reccomend pictures if you continue your search this way - a lot of single female profiles state they will only respond to couples with pictures. Remember, they are the one's in high demand.

Wish you luck with your search, but can only counsel for patience while searching.