Finding Singles on-line

[synergy]

We put in our first ad to meet a single guy. Well, you can probably imagine there was a lot of response and maybe we could get some advice? Is it more polite to respond to all parties even those you are not interested in or just ignore them? The ones that we are interested in, we've decided to request a chat to get to know them a little prior to arranging a meeting. Any suggestions out there for red flags we should look out for or specific questions we should ask to weed out the excess and the fakers. A couple have sent pictures that are either too small or for some reason or other, you just can't see their faces very well. Would it be rude to ask for a better picture before sending out any of our own?

[twoforone100]

We always ask openended questions like " what got you thinking about playing with couples"? Have you done it before? What happened? What are your rules? We try to chat three or four times before we are willing to meet people. If they can talk about nothing but sex it is a red flag. The pic collectors won't wait that long. Yes always ask for a decent pic grated is fine. We won't meet anyone we have not seen. We do try to answer all of our mail. But looking for single guys it might be hard to do. How much time do you have to do it. YMMV

[synergy]

Originally Posted by twoforone100

We do try to answer all of our mail. But looking for single guys it might be hard to do. How much time do you have to do it. YMMV

We have all the time in the world. Do you think it's better to send a rejection note or not answer at all? I always feel bad about the rejections based on pictures alone, but there are too many to get to know them all.

[NotSorry]

if you sent an email, would you rather be ignored or rejected?

most people would choose rejected, I think. If that's your answer too, I'd extend that courtesy to the people who email you.

mr not sorry

[IvoryTowers]

Originally Posted by NotSorry

if you sent an email, would you rather be ignored or rejected?

most people would choose rejected, I think. If that's your answer too, I'd extend that courtesy to the people who email you.

mr not sorry

Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this! Why do so many people seem to have trouble with this simple bit of courtesy?

[Speed & Trixie]

Ugh, I agree! A polite "no thank you" is all you need to say. Then the sender of the email isn't wondering if you fell into a ditch or if their email made it to your inbox...

[twoforone100]

Yes we do answer it all and a lot of it is a polite no thank you. or actually.... " We don't feel the magic, good luck in your search."



Our point about time.. We might get 3 emails on some days. To answer all.. takes a lot of time. To read it a couple of mins. To look at the profile. A couple more mins. To reply even a polite no thank you is a min or two. Now we are on two sites so you are almost talking about a half hour just answering emails.

So then we send a few out you are quickly talking about an hour of your day.


We would say search for the ones you are looking for rather than wait for " the one" to find you. YMMV

[MrkLin]

Synergy: If your ad is on Swing Lifestyle, they've made rejection easy for you (that sounds harsh, but it's the truth.) There are 'canned' replies to e-mails for your use. You do have to click "Reply" to that e-mail, then click "Thanks but no thanks," then click "Send," but other than that, it's easy to do. The e-mail the person gets doesn't say, "Thanks but no thanks," it says something like, "Thank you for your interest, but right now we don't feel that we're compatible. Good luck in your search." Overall, I think it's a graceful way to let someone know that you're not interested.

I was taken to the woodshed on this board for saying that ignoring e-mails rather than sending a 'thanks but no thanks' e-mail is rude. It's good to see that I'm not the only one who thinks that way now.

I also think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for better quality pictures. Some people think that asking too many questions and asking for good quality pictures is akin to turning it into a job interview. Well, in some ways it is. You have to be attracted to anyone you might decide to play with, and you can't be sure that you are without being able to see that person. And my opinion is that you can never ask too many questions.

[tnt69couple]

Here is what we posted on another thread.

My wife has played with several single males, MFM threesomes, and has had 2 full blown gang bangs, 6 guys the first time, 8 guys the second.

I posted ads on C/L and AFF and another site I belong to, (that is how I found this site). After posting what we were looking for I received so many emails. I went through all the emails creating folders. Then putting each email into the selective folder.

The No Pile:
1. Someone that did not put any information into their email.
2. Someone that was rude.
3. Someone that wanted something that was not related to our ad.
"I don't do gang bangs but would meet you one on one"

The Maybe Pile:
1. Someone that asked a question but did not quite say much.
2. Did not send a face picture. (My wife could care less about the
picture of their cock)
3. Anything in their email that might throw up a red flag.

Every email goes into one of these 2 piles. Then I continue to email back and forth to the Maybe pile.

After going back and forth for about a month. Some guys will get aggressive or ask for things that we are not into. I then move them to the, No pile. I am usually comfortable who is going to fit into our group. I then move them into the approved pile.

[NCfuncouple98]

Originally Posted by MrkLin

I was taken to the woodshed on this board for saying that ignoring e-mails rather than sending a 'thanks but no thanks' e-mail is rude. It's good to see that I'm not the only one who thinks that way now.

Sorry to hear that, because I am so with you on this subject. If we take the time to email someone, it's only polite to take the time to respond.

We (me, usually), take the time to respond to every email, and don't use the canned Swing Lifestyle No Thanks. (Although I didn't realize it was more than just that phrase).

The only thing I would not respond to would be an email after the rejection. If they ask why, I do not feel we owe anyone that. After all, we're all a little picky, a little selfish, and have certain tastes. I shouldn't have to explain why you may not fit into that category.

Now with single men, how I respond depends on how their email was written.
If they're polite, be polite and respectful back. We do not have single men blocked, even though right now that's not what we're looking for. And we have had several that have been polite as hell, and we respect that and try to do the same. After all, single men probably have more rejection than mot of us.

If they're rude, have fun with the response. I literally wrote back to one "Really, that's the best pickup line you could come up with?". I think his email was something like "Big hard 10" cock here for you".

But to just not respond IMO is rude, and that's not who I am.

Red flags? Follow your instincts. Excessive chatting, asking for more pics from you, etc. should throw up red flags. If you chat for a bit and feel you want to meet him, then try to set it up. If he just can't seem to find a day/time that works, your radar will go off again. You'll know. That will weed many of them out. Still you'll go ahead and meet some that you just aren't compatable with, but keep stepping forward.

Mrs. NC

[NotSorry]

When we are replying to say "no thanks" the degree of effort that we perceive went into the initial contact is how we decide how to reply. Emails that are obviously well thought out and speak to us directly get a well thought out reply. Misspelled, rude or form emails get much less remuneration and are more likely to receive the canned response.

Mrs. NotSorry

[magnum]

Originally Posted by synergy

We put in our first ad to meet a single guy. Well, you can probably imagine there was a lot of response and maybe we could get some advice? Is it more polite to respond to all parties even those you are not interested in or just ignore them? The ones that we are interested in, we've decided to request a chat to get to know them a little prior to arranging a meeting. Any suggestions out there for red flags we should look out for or specific questions we should ask to weed out the excess and the fakers. A couple have sent pictures that are either too small or for some reason or other, you just can't see their faces very well. Would it be rude to ask for a better picture before sending out any of our own?

How it has worked for me, being a single male. I have been contacted by couples that are interested in playing.

What I would suggest is meet for a drink in a public place. That is how I have meet couples. If you like his look etc. then you can proceed from there.

It is to easy for the "single" guy to post small photos and BS on line. I have had good luck meeting couples this way, "at a bar for drinks" if either are not interested, it is a safe and polite way to move on and it does not cost a lot "the price of a beer/drink". Good luck.

Ever make it to Colorado? Drop me a line...

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

A single male adds his biased two shiny pennies:

You have every right to request photos and clear photos. Any guy interested in you should send a photo, and if he is very discreet like I have to be he will send a photo that may be doctored indicating that if there is an interest, clear face photos will be provided.

I feel that if someone puts thought, effort and more than 10 seconds into a mail, a simple no thank you should be in order for a reply. I send mail to couples on Swing Lifestyle and very often I dont get a response. I cherish those that REJECT me, because now I know where I stand with them.

My thoughts

Kyle