Contacted by a couple - we work at the same company

[TomF_22033]

Not sure how to ask this so I'll try to explain it in a way that makes sense. Anyway, the short version is that I was contacted by a couple who sound interesting and might be a good fit. They're about my age (a couple of years younger), seem to have similar backgrounds etc. I learned this through a few emails and then chatting with the husband online. But during out chat, I learned that the wife works for the same company as me. It's not a huge company, and she doesn't work in my department or location. But it is still fairly small. Say 400 employees or so. I expressed my concern, and they've assured me that they need to be discrete also.

Anyway, we're talking about meeting for coffee to see if we want to preceed. Ideally, we'd meet and things would work out. But my concern is since I don't know them, is it worth risking meeting for coffee? I don't think it would affect my job if rumors made the rounds. But I'd prefer not to have things like that happen.

So with all of this said, if anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

[IvoryTowers]

I'd have to vote for not continuing. It doesn't seem worth the hassle that is almost sure to result from this, even if you don't work in the same department.

Find a couple who doesn't overlap your regular (especially work) life.

[lustylearning]

I am a firm believer in not mixing swinging and work, without exception.

[JustAskJulie]

On one hand I agree with the "don't mix swinging with work". On the other hand, can it really hurt anything to meet for drinks or coffee? You might just find you've made some new friends. I'd suggest letting them know that you aren't comfortable swinging with them because of the work situation, BUT that you'd still like to meet them just for the possibility of all of your being able to expand your swinging friendships.

[magnum]

Originally Posted by TomF_22033

Not sure how to ask this so I'll try to explain it in a way that makes sense. Anyway, the short version is that I was contacted by a couple who sound interesting and might be a good fit. They're about my age (a couple of years younger), seem to have similar backgrounds etc. I learned this through a few emails and then chatting with the husband online. But during out chat, I learned that the wife works for the same company as me. It's not a huge company, and she doesn't work in my department or location. But it is still fairly small. Say 400 employees or so. I expressed my concern, and they've assured me that they need to be discrete also.

Anyway, we're talking about meeting for coffee to see if we want to preceed. Ideally, we'd meet and things would work out. But my concern is since I don't know them, is it worth risking meeting for coffee? I don't think it would affect my job if rumors made the rounds. But I'd prefer not to have things like that happen.

So with all of this said, if anyone has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.

I would say go for it if you both like each other.

They are in the LS so that is not an issue, I am sure they don't want to jepordize work either, as long as you all are "cool" use discretion and don't tell your vanila office/work mates, there should be "no worries" as they say.

Keep the drama at bay and out of work, have fun...

Keep us posted.

[knb2004]

Our work rule is simply that we don't seek it out, but if it finds us that's a different matter. I would never invite anyone from work to a swing function, but if we're at a swing function and someone from work just happens to show up (which, FWIW, has yet to occur) they're fair game.

[VanHlebar]

I agree with Julie on this one. I think meeting for drinks is harmless, but I really don't think doing anything other than would be a great idea. I just think there are way too many possibilities that could go wrong and not a lot of upside.

Maybe you three become great friends and who knows, at some point in the future maybe you are no longer working for the same company?

[TomF_22033]

thanks folks. I knew asking here would provide some well thought out opinions. I really appreciate everyone's input. I'm going to think about what everyone has offered, and then decide what to do. Right now I think Julie and those who have suggested that meeting for coffee would be fine might be the right approach. Afterall, coffee is one thing, and if we hit it off great, then I'll have to make another decision and see if we go further, and if not, it's a non-issue. In any case, if anyone else has thoughts, comments, ideas, etc, please let me know.