Single Men: what do you look for in a couple?

[screaminggood]

There are dozens of threads about what we, as a couple, look for in a single man, so I'd like to hear what you guys look for in a couple? In a club last weekend, I had a tough time knowing who was single and/or available versus already in a couple. How do you let people know you're available?

[TNT]

I'm curious about the answer to this question too....come on single men, let us couples know what it is you're looking for.


Teresa

[screaminggood]

Are there no single men out there who want to tell me how you let couples know you're interested when you're at a club?

[BiloxiCouple]

I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos - and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars...

[libb13]

Usually any couple that will be interested in a single guy!!!!!

[docskotia]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

There are dozens of threads about what we, as a couple, look for in a single man, so I'd like to hear what you guys look for in a couple? In a club last weekend, I had a tough time knowing who was single and/or available versus already in a couple. How do you let people know you're available?

Dear Julie, Ted, and Theresa:

I've enjoyed the lifestyle both coupled and single (two different woman friends/lovers) off and on for the past eight years. As odd as it may seem, one of the most important qualities in a couple is the capacity for friendship and good times. For example, I have made meals with and for one couple and helped them with computer issues when we did not play together on those particular occasions.

And, with another couple, I have enjoyed having a drink with one of them when passing through their area--just socializing. If the wife is free to play alone, that's OK, but I prefer the 3some experience.

Also, a couple has to be experienced and at ease with themselves in lifestylye play. I prefer the husband to be a total participant. I'm str8 but can enjoy being socially bi, so a couple with a bi male is a plus but not a requirement for me.

Playfulness and not taking themselves too seriously also are vital. And, both people really have to want to be playing.

I'm not saying that attractiveness is not important, but it actually is less important than what I've mentioned above.

Hope that helps a bit.

Doc

[Mr.Essex]

Love, or barring love a good level of maturity. That's it.

If it's a loving couple, then I feel even better about adding some love to their relationship. Say what you will, but I like the contractions that occur when a wife is kissing or blowing her husband when I'm on the other end. Or conversely, her increased ardor at being fucked by her husband as her lips encircle my cock or press themselves against mine. If I'd never felt that kind of passion, I'd still be a vanilla, bar-frequenting "that kind of guy" bedmate, unable to empathize with my partner and just going for mine. But, I was initiated in the lifestyle by a loving woman, then indoctrinated by a group of relatively open-minded people. To be honest, I don't know if I could go back to one-on-one sex for the rest of my life.

And, if the passion isn't there, there's just something dirtysexycrazy about being in a room with two people who fell out of the "Hollywood version" of love, have bypassed the whole "We're together for the kids." scenario and have decided that "We're in it for the long haul, so let's see what interesting things we can do together...", mode. I won't go into details, but playing, "I'll bet that I can make her cum quicker!", "You're on!!!" with a pair of people who are essentially compatible everywhere but the bedroom is so much fun. So, so much fun. And, IMHO, some women are happier with that type of arrangement. They're ill-designed for the Disney version of "Happily ever after", but 6 days of trading barbs with their favorite sparring partner, punctuated with a game of "Who can make me cum better?", with an accepting "friend" is just up their alley.

[CntrySngr]

First, I look for a level of mutual attraction. Generally, if the female is interested, she'll let me know somehow. If I'm unsure, I'll wait for an opportune moment to approach the male half and indicate my interest to him, so that he can pass that interest along to her. Once that mutual interest has been established, I prefer to sit and chat with both members of the couple. Over the years, I've found that the experience is more pleasurable, at least for me (couples, correct me if I'm wrong), if a good rapport has been established. I'm not really one for "wham, bam, thank you ma'am". As a result, I have made friends with couples that, even if we run into each other at a club and don't play, I can still sit down, chit chat, catch up and generally have a friendly conversation and good time. It just makes for a better experience for everyone involved. Bottom line, for me, there has to be a physical and mental attraction.

[magnum]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

Are there no single men out there who want to tell me how you let couples know you're interested when you're at a club?

Personally, I have never been to a proper swingers club, I have been to swingers parties, I have been meaning to go to a swingers club one day/night.

The couples I have meet have been on line; on this board and Yahoo.

Once we meet, I look for a comfortable conversation, physical attraction, easy going open personality.

[ENCRYPTEDTX]

I love this question!

There are quite a few things that I look for and am attracted to in couples.

Communication- How well does the couple communicate with each other? This is very important as we get to know each other and possibly move on to sharing our bodies. Have they communicated with each other all the possible facets of meeting a single guy or more importantly, me. Have they discussed the boundaries that they want to set for me. Have they communicated how he will feel when the Mrs and I kiss? When we meet and as we are figuring out the chemistry portion its important that we are all sharing information equally. I understand that sometimes only the male chats online or reads/replies to male, but at some point information should flow to her. That time is not "gametime"

Respect- How well does the couple respect each other? The best couples I have been totally respectful of each other. Mr Couple should be totally enamored with Mrs Couple, and respect her choices, gut feelings, and woman's intuition. BOTH GOOD AND BAD. A choice made by one should always be respected by the other.

Friendship- Kinda goes without saying, but I enjoy couples who are best friends with each other. When a relationship is rock solid, trust, friendship and communication are what its built on.

Personality- We have to be able to laugh, joke and have a good time out of the bedroom, as well as in. You have to be able to enjoy yourself, before you enjoy others. The physical part will come, and is not a prerequisite for me to have a GREAT time. Meeting couples and laughing and having a side splitting time over a few drinks or at a BBQ, is more memorable than a club experience and not knowing the person's names.

Stability- This is almost always common in the couples I seek. I love a couple with kids, mortgage, debt, dogs and PTA meetings planned. I have had a few experiences with younger couples and with couples that were not married where separation of sex and emotional relationships were a problem. I want to be the single guy that brings your relationship closer, and strengthens the bond between the two of you. I don't want to be the next behind his back affair, and the reason for her to make her getaway from the failing relationship. If I wanted a girl friend, I wouldnt date couples.....

Physical Attraction- There has to be some attraction. But it is not the most important thing. When I look at perspective couples, I weigh all of the traits. A super model with a bitchy attitude will always get sidestepped for a genuine couple with personality.

Common Ground- I enjoy couples that have the same interests both in and out of the bedroom. In the bedroom if we like the same things and are open about our pleasures and fantasies, it makes the event flow. I am not into BDSM and Caveman hair pulling scene. Watching you Louisville Slugger your wife for an hour is not sharing common ground with me. On the other hand, if you want to blindfold her and give her a 4 handed massage....SIGN ME UP!! Outside of the bedroom we should be able to meet for a drink to catch up on old times and talk about things other than the last and future sex-athon. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy it as much as the next guy....moderation is the key.

Thats what I look for in a couple.

Kyle

[DE_BBC]

As a Black Male ...I tend to hook-up with couples who are looking for that in particular, so that is something I look for. I've only been to one swing club, and it was pretty easy to tell which couples were out looking for BBC.

As far as physical attractions go...a nice bust always catches my eye.
As do a great pair of eyes...I like to call them "the fuck me eyes" ...guys, if you've ever been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of them ...you know just what I mean. It's when a women looks at you, and you know right away that she's thinking about fucking you. Now, this doesn't always mean that she will, but you know that there's the possibility, and it could happen right at that exact moment. Legs and butt would fall third, in the order of things I notice.

A women with confidence is always a turn on: She sees what she wants and goes and gets it.

I love the couples who are experienced in the lifestyle, and are all about getting down to business.

I guess that's what I look for in a couple.

[rathor]

I have not experienced this lifestyle and have not met any cpl in this lifestyle but I will throw what I look for in a couple generally, whether they are swingers or not. I first of all see whether they mutually like each other. (before you object, trust me, I have seen lots of couples who are not much happy with each other)

Whenever I go for a shopping I observe cpls talking, I listen to the way they chat, I go to MacDonald and hear cpls, sitting next to me. I don't do that all the time, it just occasional thing I try to do and decide if they are really happy together. On very rare occasions, if I feel much attracted by the way they are interacting with each other I approach and talk to them, its 50/50, some don't like me, some do. Then I chat with them for a few minutes, say Thanks and go back to doing my own business.