Recently divorced male

[wantfun2]

I am a recently divorced male and would like to experience the swinging lifestyle. And I have a couple of questiongs

How does a single male getting involved in the lifestyle?

Can a single male meet a single female who wants to live in the lifestyle?

I appreciate all comments to this post.

[LFM2]

What intrigues you about Swinging?

As you might have read here there are several obstacles to single males in the swinging world You have to prove that you have something special to bring to the party.

Even though I don't know of any personally, I think there are men who've met single ladies in this lifestyle and have probably lived happily ever after. Anything is possible, right?

Good Luck

[arvcpl]

The first thing you need to do is define what "the swinging lifestyle" means to you. If it means screwing chicks without having to be a relationship with them then go to a bar and pick up drunk chicks or put up an add on Craigslist, E-Harmony, Match.com or any of a whole host of other singles sites.

If the swinging lifestyle means that you go to partys and clubs with a participating female partner and you engage in group sex and swapping and threeways etc then you have your work cut out for you.

Single fems get a lot more action and opportunitys without a male tagging along so there isn't a whole lot of incentive to have a guy dragging on their shirttails.

However there is a current thread on this board about singles finding love in the lifestyle and I have seen it happen a number of times so it is possible.

As with all single male questions about how to acheive success in the lifestyle, if you are fit and attractive, a snappy dresser and have impeccable grooming habits, pleasant and engaging, respectfull and curtious and get out and meet people and introduce yourself you will acheive a certain a level of success.

However keep this in mind and I'm not saying this to be derogatory or demeaning, it is just a fact. Single men in the lifestyle are just an extra set of hands, tongue and cock for MFM's and gang bangs. If you are ok with that go ahead and knock yourself out, there will be people that will take you up on the offer if you meet the above criteria.

On the other hand if you want to have a chick of your own and call some of your own shots and not be someone elses dildo get a girlfriend like everyone else. Your chances of finding a gal that is somewhat attractive and reasonably free of issues will be greater in the vanilla world than in the lifestyle.

IMHO in many ways your chances are better and the outcome is better to get a vanilla girlfriend and develop a solid relationship and enter the lifestyle together as a couple down the road some day rather than finding a single gal already in the lifestyle. SFs in the lifestyle are either there to experience other women or are having trouble finding a mate in the real world because they are undesirable and have turned to the lifestyle as a last resort.

[athenagirl]

Originally Posted by arvcpl

SFs in the lifestyle are either there to experience other women or are having trouble finding a mate in the real world because they are undesirable and have turned to the lifestyle as a last resort.

Wow... I hope that's not true! I'd hate to think I'm "undesirable." (And I'm definitely not in it to experience women. Though I'm not ruling it out ...).


Athenagirl

[ncmd_couple]

Originally Posted by wantfun2

I am a recently divorced male and would like to experience the swinging lifestyle. And I have a couple of questiongs

How does a single male getting involved in the lifestyle?

Can a single male meet a single female who wants to live in the lifestyle?

I appreciate all comments to this post.

Wantfun2,

I keyed on your post because you said you were recently divorced, and then I noticed that you had posted 18 times, so I went back and looked.

Looking at your past posts, you have been around here for about a year. You were married when you first posted. As a guy who got divorced (it was final in 2002) then I have have remaried, I strongly suggest that you get your life in order before you try to swing. Right now, you are on the hunt, what you are on the hunt for, I have no clue. You might just be looking to get laid. You might be looking for a relationship, there are so many variables that I can't give you much advice, but what I can is steeped in my own experience.

If you and your wife were swinging, the fact that you are divorced doesn't have any thing to do about swingers, unless you were listing the two of you and she had no clue. That may explain the timing. But it may not. Too little information to work with.

But... before you start down the path of swinging, you need to get your act together. Figure out who you are, and what you want, and then you need to look for a lady that meets your needs and you meet hers. That is a very personal one-on-one situation that doesn't allow for the challenges of swinging. Yes, you might just find a swinging lady on Swing Lifestyle who lives close to you and wants a relationship, but your chances of that are slim to none.

Get your own life in order, then you can meet someone, then the two of you can make those decisions together.

S

[fun4Ds]

Obviously you were swinging as a couple before.

How do the lifestyle friends from that relationship, you may have made together, feel about you now ?

[wantfun2]

Let me explain what happened.

Last October my wife suggested the idea of swinging. So I started to investigate what was involved in swinging, that's how I found this site. I would tell my wife everything that I was learning and we had some really great discussions. I thought that we were really being open and honest with our desire to swing. But here's where the story takes a turn for the worse. She didn't have a desire to swing with me. She wanted more of an open marriage and had already started without my knowledge. She was having an affair. So I quickly stopped thinking about swinging and tried to save the marriage. But no matter what I said or did my wife's actions never changed. She continued seeing the guys behind my back. Finally I had enough and asked her to choose between me and them, (yes, she was seeing more than one). And she choose them and filed for divorce.

So now I find myself single and want to experience the things that my wife and I talked about. My thought on my original post was that I didn't want to swing as a single male if it would hurt my chances for a LTR with someone. I really like having someone I can count on to share my life with and I want that in the future. But I also have an interest in the swinging lifestyle. I think ncmd_couple said it best, "Get your own life in order, then you can meet someone, then the two of you can make those decisions together."

[ncmd_couple]

Wantfun2,

Thanks for the update. Honestly, that situation sucks, I won't write a book here, but I understand where you are coming from. You are a single male now. Get your ducks in a row, know what you want, and be honest with the ladies that you meet. Good luck!

S