Why is it so hard for a single man to find swingers?

[Frankie]

Hi Everyone,I'm Frankie a nice well mannered easygoing clean Hispanic single male.Ive had this problem here might be this City and State,lol.Why is it so hard to find a couple or female to swing with here? Ive placed my ad in a few sites and nothing.I'm not that bed looking.But it seems the swinging thing is not for single men.I'm not picky at all I'm open to any type of Swingers.Guess Swinging is mostly for Couples.

[Chicup]

[two4youinswva]

Hi Frankie.

I think you know the answer to this question.

You actually partially answered it in this post six years ago.


There are successful single males in the lifestyle, but they are the exceptional exception.

[Frankie]

Okay wow 6 years,Just thought I'd ask things havent changed much.

[screaminggood]

Since I wasn't on this board six years ago, I'll give you one answer of mine: I don't choose men over the internet. If you're not at a club or a party where I can meet you in person, it ain't gonna happen!

[BiloxiCouple]

One part of the problem is - Supply and Demand.

The supply is high and the demand is low.

So what sets you apart from the other thousands of singles out there?

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

Since I wasn't on this board six years ago, I'll give you one answer of mine: I don't choose men over the internet. If you're not at a club or a party where I can meet you in person, it ain't gonna happen!

+1


Frankie, maybe try the clubs in SoCal? There are quite a few that are open to single guys.

[JustAskJulie]

Frankie, nothing has changed. There are still a hundred single guys looking to swing for every couple that is looking to swing with single guys. For a single guy to be successful he has to stand out and go a few extra miles. Just posting an ad isn't going to do it for you, they aren't going to come to you. You are going to have to search for couples who are looking for you and contact them and then understand that most won't reply. You are going to have to look for clubs near you that accept single males and then go regularly and become known to enough people as a NICE & Respectful single guy so that even those who aren't interested in single guys will respect you and even introduce you to their friends who might be interested in you. It will take a great deal of work. Dating is easier by far.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by Frankie

Hi Everyone,I'm Frankie a nice well mannered easygoing clean Hispanic single male.Ive had this problem here might be this City and State,lol.Why is it so hard to find a couple or female to swing with here? Ive placed my ad in a few sites and nothing.I'm not that bed looking.But it seems the swinging thing is not for single men.I'm not picky at all I'm open to any type of Swingers.Guess Swinging is mostly for Couples.

Why is it so hard for a single man to find swingers?

Actually, it isn't difficult for a single man to find swingers. They're all over the place.

A difficulty is finding swinging couples (and single females) who want to play with a single male. This is complicated by the issue of whether they want to play with a specific single male, i.e., you. So, not only do you as a single male have to find couples or single females interested in single males, they have to be interested in your personality/manners/body-type/age/kinks/etc. AND they have to be geographically accessible.

And there are LOTS more single males knocking on bedroom doors than there are swinging couples or single females likely to open those doors to single males. Lots of competition. It can be rather daunting.

However, a single male can increase his chances by...approaching swingers the same way he'd approach a potential vanilla date! Imagine that!

The single male should be polite. Be able to engage in small-talk with your "date(s)". If it's a couple, the small-talk should include the male as well as the female and her breasts. You have to impress two people in that case. Hold the door open for them if you enter someplace at the same time. If you're sitting down when you meet them, stand up and introduce yourself with a firm handshake. Don't stare lasciviously at the female (and/or male) upon first meeting. You can be flirty, but don't be crude. Take the rules your mother taught you -- or should've taught you -- and apply them very generously.

The single male should be clean. Shower before a potential meeting. Use deodorant. Smell good but not overpowering. Make sure the nose and ear-hairs -- and other areas if necessary or desired -- are trimmed. Have the hair washed and clean and in an attractive style for you. If you're bald and/or balding, make sure things look good in that area (although I've heard that some women prefer a day or two's growth if they get a dome-ride).

The single male should dress appropriately for the occasion. Gauge the situation and dress appropriately. If you're invited to a swing biker rally or a swinger nudist resort, then dress down or not at all. If you go to a club -- outside of theme nights -- dress to the high-end of the local standard. If you look better than the local competition, then that's a plus. If there's a theme night, it's best to at least meet the theme halfway...it shows that you're a good sport. Women focus on shoes...unless you're in costume and it requires something different, make sure your shoes are at least in presentable condition, if not polished to a high gloss.

The single male should live up to his promises. If you commit to meeting the swinging couple or single female, then make sure you are there on time. If you have promised the amazing tongue or the long-lasting boner and/or the big cock and/or the special technique, then you better come through with any or all of those. You might get a second-chance with some folks, but word gets around...

Using the guidelines above, and common sense, a single male can be successful in the lifestyle, but it might take TIME. Really! You never know. I was very lucky in that my first experience was at a club but I inadvertently had a great time. I wasn't expecting it, and I was damn lucky to experience it. Other club and party occasions were NOT so rewarding for me, but they did allow me to meet people and make contacts while I was otherwise having a good time.

I'm sure many of you have other things to add to this truncated list of must-do's. Go ahead and do so. No problem! (I'm all for making everybody in SwingWorld happy, no matter their interests.)

Thrax
P.S. This post was MUCH longer that I originally expected it to be...
P.P.S. You have a problem wit dat?

[TNT]

Hmmm....

We received two e-mails today from single men.

The first one said " She's hot, wanna fuck".

The second one wrote a nice introduction, proved he had read our profile by making comments on some things we have in it and thanked us for reading his mail.

Guess which one got a response...

Thrax gave excellent advice. Single men can be successful in swinging IF they pay attention, learn and put in the time and effort it requires. Hooking up with a couple does not happen just because you want it to happen on a Saturday night, you have to work at it.


Teresa

[Thrax]

...and a word to the Newbies: Please don't ignore Chicup's post (#2) in this thread, but take it to heart that this issue has been discussed MANY, many, many times on the SB.

However, if you look at all of those threads and still have questions, please ask.

We're here to answer.

Thrax

[Frankie]

Tks for your input on this Issue.Lots of interesting Ideas and Replies.At times I think its Factors like Looks,Body Build,Age,those are contributing factors,too.
Plus some Swingers like younger men,not all some.Also I think Tucson AZ has to be one of the worst cities for meeting swingers.

Frankie

[absingleman]

In order for a single man to have sex, he has to first find a person who wants to have sex with him and he also wants to have sex with. It doesn't matter if its swinging or not. This is why dating is easier and often a better use of time than swinging for single men.

Lets look at this realistically. What are couples who swing looking for? Someone to help fulfill a particular fantasy they have. Couples have someone that is committed to fulfilling their needs, and that includes sex and friendship. So what do couples get from swinging except fantasy fulfillment? Nothing!

Friendships do develop, but in most cases those friendships would have developed if the sex wasn't involved. That is why many couples claim they don't want to be friends with a single man first and others say its a requirement. Many couples that advertise online say they are not interested in single men, but really have three or four single men in real life that they get together with on a regular basis because they are friends. The same goes for couples and single women.

With single women, getting together with a single man, even if it is just for sex, is just another day. Why would she look for a single man to have sex with when she is often turning down requests from at least four or five men a day no matter how subtle those requests are?

If you are a single man, you have to put yourself out there where you can be seen or put swinging aside and just date women. If you are going to commit to swinging, you are going to have very little time for dating because you are going to be spending a lot more time and money travelling to clubs and parties where you can be seen.

For single men, the online swingsite thing is a money making gimmick for the most part. Those single men who are successful online are successful because they got lucky once and the word spread. But it was luck. The successful single man either wrote to someone who was specifically looking for a single man at the time they wrote, or he posted his ad at a time when the couple or single woman was looking for a single man. I've spoken to too many online and in real life that has said just that.

If you don't want to spend the extra effort, just date. You will have a lot more sex a lot quicker because there are many more single women looking for SINGLE men than there are couples or swinging single women looking for MEN. Its not that they don't want men, but they already know the ones they want and ARE NOT LOOKING for more until the ones they have leave. Then, your timing has to be perfect...and perfect is more about luck than skill, manners, looks, experience, or anything else.

Good luck, have fun, be safe, and keep your expectations real.