Hello from a Single Male - I have questions!

[anewfoundsin]

hello everyone. I am 26 male from So. Cal , single male. No G/F or anything. I do have a question, are swingers mostly for couples? Are swingers open toward single men? I mean Im not here to cause trouble but I was curious. I would like to go to a swingers club/house party that allows non-couples =D

[ncmd_couple]

Welcome to the Swinger's Board! Singles, both male and female are a considerable topic of discussion here. In fact, Julie has set up an entire forum just for those discussions. Check it out.

[rpu3]

You might want to check out the "Advice for Single Males" thread, as well as the Singles and Swinging forum. The advice thread is located here.

The Getting Started Archive also offers good introductory information.

[screaminggood]

Welcome to the Board. Yes, there are some swingers who like to have single men join them (we do), but as the previous posters have noted, you can read several threads that will outline different viewpoints about it.

[Edison Carter]

Susan here-- As with all things, a good single male is always welcome. The thing is, at times, they seem more rare than unicorns. I know, I was a unicorn once

That being said, we have played with a single guy once as a married couple. It was one of the more rewarding pure fucks of my life. Which worked out because that's exactly what I wanted and precisely what he wanted.

As with all things, you act appropriately and you will be rewarded with some great experiences. Simply be yourself, be socially aware and do not substitute fear for reason and you'll be fine. Educate yourself thoroughly and ask questions as others have recommended.

[JustAskJulie]

Some couples are very open to single males, however that doesn't mean that they are open to ANY single male. It takes a lot for single males to prove themselves and be successful in swinging.

Take some time and read through the threads here, you'll find a lot of good information and really learn where single males fit in and the different opinions on the topic.

[absingleman]

I'm repeating myself, but for a single man, you have to commit to being seen before you can participate in swinging. This means that you will have to commit the time and money to writing to clubs and people who host parties (put advertising online on hold unless you live in an area where you can't afford the time or money to go to a nearby club) and just go and mingle as much as you are allowed to. Treat the club or party as if it were a dinner party held by your boss. Judge the attitude of the hosts and the most popular guest, and be one step more conservative than they are.

Finally, keep close tabs on your activities. Keep a date book and do whatever is possible to make it to as many swinger events as you are allowed to attend. The trick is to be ACCESSIBLE TO THE COUPLES who are there and visible to the single females who attend as well. Couples are more likely to be the first ones you swing with, but only after they know you are not there just to have sex but to talk and hang out and have fun no matter what happens. Then some may feel ready to have sex with you.

But it takes either a lot of time or a lot of LUCK!!! I find it hard not to laugh at the people who say "Just do this and this and that and you will be successful" because it is not true when it comes to single MEN and swinging. Being kind, respectful, observant, polite, well groomed, and friendly is what everyone should be doing in the first place. To me its how I try to be everyday REGARDLESS of what I want, so I don't think about it being something I have to do in order to swing. I work on staying on the lookout for people who are open to something different, because they are the ones I have a chance to hook up with.

Finally, look forward to being rejected and learn how to let it roll off your back. If you are successful at dating, swinging is going to be hard because no matter how well you communicate with people in general and women in particular, you will be ignored more often than you will be acknowledged as a living person. Its nothing personal, but swingers are in this for the fantasy. THE FANTASY! Everyone has a fantasy, and each one is different. But if it wasn't for the fantasy aspect, there would be monogamous couples and polyamourous couples. Swinging is where the fantasy comes in, and if you are not able to accept that you don't fulfill someone else's fantasy, you are in the wrong place.

Just my $2.58.

[tribbles]

You are in SoCal.....lots of clubs that allow single guys and if you are friendly and show interest.....................

Well......buy condoms dude!

[iapr]

My question to you is what does swinging mean to you and why are you interested in it?

That may seem like a dumb question but it really isn't because everyone sees swinging a little bit different than somebody else. What does it mean to you?

If you want to go to swingers clubs and parties so you can pick up a chick and score without having to be in a relationship, the swinging environment is definately not the place to be. You will have a lot more success per time and energy spent in a regular vanilla meat-market bar picking up vanilla chicks.

If you are thinking that women will be "easier" in swinging evironment than in a vanilla environment, again that is not the case. If you are striking out in the regular vanilla singles venues you will probably go down in flames in the swinging world.


Now if your interest in the swinging realm is to be an extra guy in a MFM with a couple or an extra guy in a gang bang then you may have come to the right place. If you have fantasys of being with a couple to help fulfill their fantasys or of standing in line waiting your turn in a gang bang then it may be for you.

I agree with much of Absingleman's posts in regards to the roles and characteristics of single males in the lifestyle. I recommend reading a lot of his posts on single male topics. My perspectives are a little different than his since I am part of a couple but I do respect his posts and opinions on SM topics.

So to make a short story long, I would say if you are interested in swinging just to get laid you can do it but it will end up being a lot more work and a lot less payoff than just doing it the old fashioned ways like either getting a legitimate girlfriend or picking up drunk chicks in bars.

But on the otherhand if your interests are in being an extra guy for couples and you are good looking, pleasant and charming, respectfull and are actually able to get it up and perform under those conditions there will be some people that will take you up on it from time to time.