The stigma of single men & swinging.

[CockStamper]

Why is there such a stigma attached to single men who want to experiment with couples? Yet there is such an open attitude towards women being involved? And I mean beyond the obvious (which is that couples want a woman to play with, because it adds to the options for a bi-female, and guys want another hole...lol).
But people act as if you're a creepy slimeball if you're a single man who wants to be involved with a couple. But to me it just seems unfair. Maybe I wanna fuck your wife too...lol.

Thoughts?

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by CockStamper

Why is there such a stigma attached to single men who want to experiment with couples? Yet there is such an open attitude towards women being involved? And I mean beyond the obvious (which is that couples want a woman to play with, because it adds to the options for a bi-female, and guys want another hole...lol).
But people act as if you're a creepy slimeball if you're a single man who wants to be involved with a couple. But to me it just seems unfair. Maybe I wanna fuck your wife too...lol.

Thoughts?

I'd post in this thread but then I'd be

[CockStamper]

Fair enough, I just joined. ...and there's a whole section dedicated to this topic...D'oh. I find the labeling of this board somewhat confusing...Sorry

Rules for Single Males...this page was helpful.

[mixtupcpl]

OK... Not to be an asshole, but your post kind of exemplifies why, for me at least.

I know (hope?) you're probably partially joking, but you're pretty much displaying the attitude many of us RUN from.

Glad you may want to "fuck my wife too", but that privilege is reserved for me, and other folks who are actual genuine participants in this LS and respect it and each others marriages.

I'm sure there are lots of women out there who want X man gangbangs or just an endless series of purely physical encounters with absolutely no meaning attached to them. Why dont the frustrated single males just head in that direction?

The ones who complain, I think, generally don't "get it" and the ones who "get it" will be patient. It's a great litmus test really.

[CockStamper]

Originally Posted by mixtupcpl

OK... Not to be an asshole, but your post kind of exemplifies why, for me at least.

I know (hope?) you're probably partially joking, but you're pretty much displaying the attitude many of us RUN from.

Glad you may want to "fuck my wife too", but that privilege is reserved for me, and other folks who are actual genuine participants in this LS and respect it and each others marriages.

I'm sure there are lots of women out there who want X man gangbangs or just an endless series of purely physical encounters with absolutely no meaning attached to them. Why dont the frustrated single males just head in that direction?

The ones who complain, I think, generally don't "get it" and the ones who "get it" will be patient. It's a great litmus test really.

I was obviously joking...hence the lol (laugh out loud) and the use of an emoticon. I was using humor...

I don't know much about the "LS", but am here to learn.

[realcplub2]

Cockstamper, if you are here to learn GREAT!.. But please read the posts, and learn the lessons from so many other assholes out there that really ruin it all

Want a perfect example..

We post plainly within our profiles pretty mucht he same thing, we arent looking for single guys, and explain WHY

Lets face facts, I am sure your cock is DYNAMIC, WONDEROUS, STUPENDOUS..

Fuckin Great.. BUT, if you feel like so many OTHER single guys to use that as your selling point to a couple.. Sorry, cause there are plenty of other COUPLES out there that, gee, the other MALE is sporting impressive wedding tackle too..

And they bring something else to the BBQ.. usually thier WIVES or SO..

We got a typical letter tonight, from a gent, that didnt read the profile appartent, and only found us thru a mutual friend.. but he wrote the text books example of WHY

After elliquently explaining all the wonderous things he wants to do to my wife, And give her the PRIVLEDGE of doing FOR him, he explained that he has a 9" cock, Three times in two paragraphs, that as its played with, sometimes, gets as big as 11 or 12 "..

WoW!! We were so impressed we replied..

and asked, did you actually READ our profile?

[mixtupcpl]

Originally Posted by CockStamper

I was obviously joking...hence the lol (laugh out loud) and the use of an emoticon. I was using humor...

I don't know much about the "LS", but am here to learn.

Yeah, I'm up to speed on netiquette, but the tone of your post is kind of condescending, the joke is pretty ill advised considering the topic and your name is CockStamper. See what I'm saying here? Probably not. Prove me wrong then.

Otherwise I totally agree with Realcplub2. My wife and I are proceeding slowly in this and I'm already irritated with the SM bullshit (and I was prepared for it!)

The funny thing is, the more we talked, we've realized that SM might actually be something we'd do, but it seems like it would be a 1 in 100000000 shot that we'd find someone who isnt an asshole that ends up pissing both of us off (not a good place to be)

What I dont get is why arent all of these heaven sent ultra studs out fucking their way through the COUNTLESS single young women populating EVERY bar from coast to coast? Why buzz around swinger couples? To me, for a SM to be successful, he needs to (in addition obviously, to being someone my wife wants to fuck) demonstrate that he "gets" this whole thing and respects it.

[CockStamper]

Wow. First off, I don't think my penis is DYNAMIC, WONDEROUS, or STUPENDOUS. But it is my mine, and I love it nonetheless. Second, I clearly stated above that I made a mistake by even posting this thread...sorry again, but the board has a lot going on, and my ADHD didn't see the forum category for singles. When I found the rules posting, I read it thoroughly. And third, the name is a joke. Lighten Up.

And this large surplus of women running around out here is a myth. Especially if you don't fit the stereotypical mold of attractive. I am not ugly by any means, but what I am is short. It causes a lot of "Awww, he sure is cute...little fella." When I was younger it relegated me to the guy who girls wanted to be friends with, (then they'd promptly go sleep with my taller friends).

I had hoped to find a community of open-minded people here. Nothing more, nothing less.

[sexcupid]

Well...even though other board members don't want to beat a dead horse...I think I will.

We are primarily on the lookout for couples. Why? Because we both want to swap. I am not particuarly bi (it's very situationally dependent), so finding a SBF is not exactly at the top of our wish list like many other couples. We had a 3sum not long ago with one of our SF friends..and while it was an entertaining evening...since I hardly ever am interested in bi activity, it really was more along the lines of me rummaging thru the toy box and sitting on the sidelines. I was limited in my activities that evening...it wasn't a bad experience, but not as much fun for me as when there is another guy for me to play with.

The thing is, there are a ton of single guys out there looking to be in the lifestyle and couples are wary of them. Some are cheaters and jerks. It really is more of an uphill battle for a SM. The previously mentioned 3sum was supposed to be a full swap with our friend bringing a SM friend she had played with before. But he couldn't make it that night....because his girlfriend had found out about his 'swinging', had broken up with him, and was moving out of their house that weekend.

Adding to the uphill battle is the fact that if a club does admit single males, their numbers are restricted or they have to be sponsored in and some places require them to remain with their host couple. Your best bet is to find local meet and greets (most of them usually allow single males), get out there and actually meet people...if you just put up a profile somewhere and hope the offers come rolling in, you might be waiting a while.

Good luck,

[mixtupcpl]

Ill beat the horse too!!! Im going to go a different route and say that your motives are wrong.

Maybe I need to lighten up and maybe Im being rough on you, but Im waiting for you to show me that you might be cut out for this.

It sucks that you have trouble in the single scene, but that tells me that you're viewing LS couples as an easy lay.

I gotta say man. You're going to have to develop a thick skin b/c this is a pretty sensitive topic among MANY swingers. Many of us want to find a good single guy. Seriously. But we dont want to be disrespected so the guard is up.

Before going to a meet and greet, spend time here and read and decide what your real motives are.

What is your view of people in this LS? The husbands? The wives? I'm not asking to fuck with you, I want to see where your head is at.

[CockStamper]

^^^Thank you for being helpful rather than confrontational. I appreciate it.

[mixtupcpl]

No problem. I always lead with confrontational, its my style

Do you have answers to those questions though? There's really no wrong answer, I'm just curious.

[CockStamper]

I can appreciate what your saying, but if you go to the introduction thread I started after this, you'll see that you are probably wrong about my intentions. I'll let that thread speak for itself. I have been very open there, and you can feel free to go read it if you so choose.

But as I stated, I am not some maverick who thinks I am gods gift to women or anything like that. I am an old soul. I got married young and was prepared to live my life out with one person. And was damaged by my experience. Now I'm trying to find my own liberation through having survived that situation.

Often I find people my age, and younger to be shallow. Not just in what they want physically, but also just what they desire in life in general. There is a whole generation of people who lack any real in-depth experiences. And therefore I find it hard to relate to them. I more comfortable talking to a forty year old that a 20 year old, and it's been that way my whole life really...Old Soul.

I guess my impressions of people in the LS would have to be considered general. Because to be honest I don't really know any practitioners. I can only speak on what I had hoped. Which was that they would be honest, open-minded people who saw you for who you are, once accepted into their fold. I don't think it's all about sex even. I understand that there is sense of community and belonging, that comes with being a part of it. This is a fringe culture that has many mainstream detractors, so respect for the principles of the culture is an important tenant.

[Alura]

I'm 5'3" tall, CockStamper, and I will agree with you that there are women out there who care more about height than intellect. I have actually had tall women laugh out loud when I asked them out or even to dance.

I don't think you'll find a big difference between the women in the bars and the women in the lifestyle. Some play exclusively with tall guys. Accept that you can't change that and put your efforts into more interesting women.

Some women, however, are like my 5'9" wife who impressed me mightily when she said (on our first date), "I prefer to measure a man from the bottom of his heart to the top of his mind."

For us, if you come to swing, bring your wife. Don't take a bus to the Porsche Club meeting.

Mr. Alura

[two4youinswva]

Originally Posted by CockStamper

Why is there such a stigma attached to single men who want to experiment with couples? Yet there is such an open attitude towards women being involved?

It appears you've found some of the answers you're looking for based on your follow-up posts.
Generally, the stigma is attached only to those folks that "don't get it". You'll figure that out through reading the other threads in the category.

The other part is supply & demand. Not enough single bi-females out there to meet the demand, so, they tend to get a wider latitude in attitude.

Continue reading the forum, and learn from the stories and thoughts of the posts therein. There are some single men on this board that have been and are very successful swingers. Use their examples and attitudes as a road map to how to do it right.

Originally Posted by Alura

I'm 5'3" tall, CockStamper, and I will agree with you that there are women out there who care more about height than intellect. I have actually had tall women laugh out loud when I asked them out or even to dance.

Yeah, but the respect you have on this board makes you about 7'6" around these parts.