Why are there more single guys?

[De and Ci]

Dating services, personal ads, and of course the swinging scene.
In all these groups, single males far outnumber single women but why? I understand the skewed ratio in the swinging scene-female sexual reserve-guys just wanting an easy lay. But why the dating services and personal ads? These are filled with legitimate single guys wanting a serious, monogamous relationship and they always outnumber the single females. But in Women's magazines there are tons of articles with advice about sex and how to meet that special guy. I get the impression that there are tons more single males then females, but the census stats do not bear that out. I just don't understand-it seems far easier for a single female to meet a guy than the other way around. Anybody have an answer?

[curious24]

I wish I knew the answer to this. I've been out there looking for almost 3 years now. People say I'm a nice guy, good looking, out going etc. Heck even one woman I was going after describe her ideal guy to me then she describe what she thought of me and it was the same thing. When I pointed this out to her she didn't say anything but I did get the "friends" line.

I think part of the problem is that single males are put into a stereotype that just isn't fair for some. I am not the typical "bad boy" but I do think there are just enough jerks out there that most of the women don't trust any guy that speaks to them.

For me to beat this prejudgment that is already bestowed upon me before I even utter a word to someone of the opposite sex I try a different angle. Instead of giving a line or hitting on someone like a moron I try to strike up a conversation. Like a passing conversation and I try to hit on something real quick about the person and continue the conversation. However, most of the time I don't get the time of day. Whenever I do get a response I almost always get a phone number because our conversation was so good.

The thing is you have to be at the right place at the right time.. and a good thing about this method is that it weeds out all the women who suck. If they can't hold a conversation they aren't worth my time.

anyway just my .02.. can't wait to see some more responses to this thread

[ciscosv]

Because guys are looking for an easy lay. There are tons of single ladies in the world. These single ladies have been planning their marriage in their heads when young while the boys are talking about who they want to score with. I'm generalizing of course. The main point is that the ladies dont have easy lay and scoring on thier minds like guys do.

I'm going into auto pilot at the moment.

[curious24]

Originally posted by ciscosv
... I'm generalizing of course....

bingo.. and that's why there are stereotypes...

[naughty A]

there are more single guys than single girls where?

Are you saying that these single guys

are looking for regular ordinary Long Term Relationships?

or am I missing something

[curious24]

Originally posted by naughty A
there are more single guys than single girls where?

where i live it sure does seem like that.. =/

[De and Ci]

Um, What I'm trying to say is-Why are there more single guys than single women listed in dating services and personal ads?-I'm not talking about swinger type services. They are filled with single guys looking for a serious relationship. What are the single girls doing to look for a guy, where do they go? Are they at home feeling sorry for themselves? It seems that single guys are making a bigger effort to find a mate and yet women are always complaing about not finding the "right" guy, that guys just want to get laid, etc. Me personally, I met a woman at nightclub got her number and the next day went out with her and we had sex all night-8 years later-I am still with her. But it still gets on my nerves when I hear the "no good men" sob story. Do women not want to get laid? Based on my experiences they seem to enjoy it.
When I was single-I dated several women who did not want to date me again after I slept with them and there were some women I didn't call after sleeping with them. The "guys just want to get laid" sob story just means that the guy for whatever reason-did not click with her--for the SAME reasons that a gal will not go out with a guy again after a date. A single girl can place a personal ad-get tons of replies to sort through-sure there will be a lot of jerks, dorks, men suffering from "Nice guy syndrome", etc. But a guy using a dating service-will have far less to choose from and many of those women are "dorks" and "jerks". Women just need to quit moaning and bitching about no good guys left and just do what it takes to find him.

[naughty A]

we are referring to LTR's right? not swinging?

I meant where? as in?

on the dating scene?
in bars?
here on this web site?
advertising in dating services/personal ads?

maybe guys are just more visible about seeking companionship?

and girls are more comfortable meeting someone through someone they know?

--- Sorry you posted while I was writing this....

[naughty A]

do you think it might be an age thing?

are girls out looking when they are younger - get fed up with the guys only looking to get laid -

so then they give up and stay home and by the time the guys out there are looking to settle down the girls aren't there anymore?

As for the personal ads etc. I think that guys are traditionally the risk takers in dating - maybe they are more willing to put themselves out there - willing to chance the rejection - willing to ADVERTISE their availability and girls aren't so they'd rather not take the chance than deal with the heart ache?

nothing ventured nothing gained vs. once bitten, twice shy kind of thing??

I really have no idea - I've been with my guy since high school - uh oh my god ... almost 18 yrs we've been together ?

[De and Ci]

As for the personal ads etc. I think that guys are traditionally the risk takers in dating - maybe they are more willing to put themselves out there - willing to chance the rejection - willing to ADVERTISE their availability and girls aren't so they'd rather not take the chance than deal with the heart ache?

More proof that indeed women are the weaker sex!

Also women (the ones that are single and sobbing), don't have much respect for decent guys. Do a search on google on "Nice Guy Syndrome", many of the hits you come up with are indeed critical of guys who suffer from this. but if you read between the lines you will understand that so many womens' self esteem is so low that if a potential suitor really treats her like a queen then there must be something wrong with him.

[naughty A]

you sound a little bitter about women...

I wouldn't be throwing that "weaker sex" line around too much
not being a risk taker does not make one weak


I'm not sure about that nice guy syndrome... maybe that it the question that you should be posing here.

guys are you a "Nice Guy" or a "Bad Boy"
women are you more attracted to .....

I would have to say that it really depends on your def'n of Bad Boy... some portion of that has to be present or you wouldn't be on a swingers site... but I don't think a guy would be very successful if he DID NOT treat his woman like a queen.


what does your S/O think of this gender gap.

[ciscosv]

I was the bad boy, nice guy and funny. That is the key IMO. Other things to take into account are: Not being afraid to strike up conversation with anybody; Accepting rejection and dealing with it; Being straight forward; Attain and maintain high self esteem; good hygiene.

You have to make lots of friends as naughty A pointed out:
"and girls are more comfortable meeting someone through someone they know?"

You will meet more women that way.

Or you could always not look and...... bam!

[Roxysbayou]

I am not single but I can tell you, I rarely respond to single guy responses to our ad because it is 99% some guy wanting me to blast him with 600 naked pics, or play with myself on a web cam. It becomes so aggravating. If I want to share my pics with you I will, but at least try to have a conversation first before the insistant begging begins. No, women are not weaker...men can just be more annoying. I think women prefer to pick and choose, rather than posting an ad where ten thousand crazy guys bombard their e-mail everyday. Sorry for those guys who are sincere, but I know that it happens because it happened to me on our pay site. I finally had to put a No Single Guys paragragh in our ad, and I do enjoy talking to some occasionally. I think maybe it's a case of the bad responders ruining it for the genuine.

for someone who's married, you seem overly concerned about how single guys can meet girls...sorry, but when you start talking about women being "the weaker sex," not only do i NOT agree,but i really just dont see what your point is.

when i was single, i dont think i suffered from "Nice Guy Syndrome"...but i probably came off that way to some girls i dated just because i was always kind of reserved. I was always reluctant to get really involved with anyone i wasnt pretty sure i liked a lot...and as a result, i never had a lot of casual sex. Then again, i dated from the time I was 16 to age 30 when i met my wife...so i suppose i had enough variety of partners during that time that i dont feel like i missed out on anything.

It's actually kind of ironic that when i was single, i was never so much into just "getting laid". Now that I'm married, however, the idea of my wife and i exploring sex with others TOGETHER seems really sexy.

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by De and Ci
More proof that indeed women are the weaker sex!

Also women (the ones that are single and sobbing), don't have much respect for decent guys. Do a search on google on "Nice Guy Syndrome", many of the hits you come up with are indeed critical of guys who suffer from this. but if you read between the lines you will understand that so many womens' self esteem is so low that if a potential suitor really treats her like a queen then there must be something wrong with him.

During my 15 years between marriages, I was never a single and sobbing woman. As a matter of fact the only thing I really wanted a man for was sex. Nothing more nothing less. I didn't get concerned if they were nice, as I did expect to be respected, but if they went overboard like calling all the time sending gifts and that stuff, that was a huge turn off to me and I wanted no emotional commitments. My self-esteem was never low, I had everything I needed or wanted for myself and my children. I have several friends, both male and female that are single and intend to remain that way. They do not suffer from lack of self-esteem either and are comfortable with themselves and their lives.

In all honesty I can say that if I should ever find myself single again, I'd be just as happy to be a single swinger for the rest of my life. Good friends, good sex, no strings.

Lori