Am I missing anything?

[wpafuncpl]

My wife and I are active in the lifestyle and have been for three years.
When we are together, we play together as a team - with rare exception.
However, I travel on a regular basis for work. When we are apart, we are both free to play as we wish - with the other half's full knowledge and consent. Not that we are playing on a regular basis this way, but we both enjoy having the option to do so if the opportunity presents itself.

To that end, my wife probably has less time available for play when I am away - due to kids, home, etc. Basically she is a single mom at that point, and her free time is usually reserved for sleep. lol However, she has far more OPTIONS available to her. She has the benefit of being in the area where we play as a couple, and therefore knows people and they know me – and understand that I am OK with her playing alone.

I however, have tons of free time, but far fewer options. We have an SLS profile. I have a separate profile as "mrwpafuncpl". I have a cert on the single male profile that is from a couple that also certified our couple profile. All in an attempt to appear legitimate. Truly not trying to be anything but honest in my profile.

The catch is that people, for the most part, are still very suspicious of me. She is willing to vouch that I am allowed to play alone, but obviously she is not going to be able to do so in person. I may be on the west coast, while she is at home??

I am not looking to play with someone new every night or anything like that, but my assignments can last for several months or more, and I would like to find someone who is in the lifestyle when I am traveling to meet up with. Sometimes for just social rather than sexual reasons. IE – its nice to meet a single female or a couple that is interested in single males that you can hang out with and have drinks, dinner, conversation, etc., with the possibility of playtime if everyone agrees. I guess that my ideal situation would be a single female to hang out with, but couples would be ok too. Would like to meet a single female because then we could possibly check out some clubs or swing events while I was in town.

I am looking on swing sites primarily because I DON’T want to play with women that are cheating. Those seem to be available on a lot of sites, but I don’t want to be involved in that kind of drama.

I guess that my ultimate question is, is there anything else that I can do to make myself appear “legitimate”?

[two42lovers]

There are some solo women on the swing sites - they are pretty easy to identify because of all the glowing certs. There are plenty of couples looking for solo guys. Only way you are going to have a shot is to change your location on your solo profile to where you're going to be, and re-write your profile special for the location. Then try emailing the people you find interesting. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Do you refer to your couples' profile in your single profile, so people can look it up? Does your couples' profile say that you also play solo?

By our way of thinking, if a guy is a cheater he isn't going to say he is married playing with permission. Opens a big can of worms - a lot of people would want to talk with the wife on the phone (if he is a cheater that would be hard to do.) The whole situation could put people off, because confirming with your wife might seem like a hassle.

Make things as easy as you possibly can for your prospective playmates. Timing and availability is everything.

[BiloxiCouple]

Probably not much you can do. You are trying to stand out with thousands of others trying to do the same. It's the nature of man.

I've played alone before, but that was in my town where people knew the wife and I or others were able to introduce me and my situation.

Trying to come across as a married guy playing single with permission always reeks of cheater unless the people know you. The flip side is if it is a woman then alot more people would care less. Nature of this beast. What can I say?

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by wpafuncpl

I am not looking to play with someone new every night or anything like that, but my assignments can last for several months or more, and I would like to find someone who is in the lifestyle when I am traveling to meet up with. Sometimes for just social rather than sexual reasons. IE – its nice to meet a single female or a couple that is interested in single males that you can hang out with and have drinks, dinner, conversation, etc., with the possibility of playtime if everyone agrees. I guess that my ideal situation would be a single female to hang out with, but couples would be ok too. Would like to meet a single female because then we could possibly check out some clubs or swing events while I was in town.

Surly your wife must visit you over several months away

Bring her with you or get her to visit...Go to the local clubs together. Then work with that I know I travel between Knoxville and Fort Dodge. Mrs fun likes to hook up with me. I usually have a club in mind. I haven't tried your alternative, but I don't think the Internets would be the way to go.

I am looking on swing sites primarily because I DON’T want to play with women that are cheating. Those seem to be available on a lot of sites, but I don’t want to be involved in that kind of drama.

Have your wife visit and meet people together .

I guess that my ultimate question is, is there anything else that I can do to make myself appear “legitimate”?

Not on the INTERNET, unless your wife knows people from the different places you visit.

[sexcupid]

The first thing I wondered when I read this, was 'How are you trying to pick people up?'

I mean, being a couple in the LS...you know how single males are viewed. Even more so the ones that are supposed to be 'married, but playing with permission'...even a link back to the couples profile isn't a guarantee that you appear legit...the more suspicious people wouldn't wonder if you created both profiles yourself (cert or not).

People who travel with business have plenty of opportunities for sex...but they may be more in the line of picking up someone from the bar that doesn't care whether you are married or not...not playing with other swingers. What makes that avenue less attractive to you? Not like you aren't going to let your wife know about it.

Expand your parameters that you are looking within.

Good luck!

[wpafuncpl]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

People who travel with business have plenty of opportunities for sex...but they may be more in the line of picking up someone from the bar that doesn't care whether you are married or not...not playing with other swingers. What makes that avenue less attractive to you? Not like you aren't going to let your wife know about it.

Expand your parameters that you are looking within.

Good luck!

I don't want to be a part of anyone's cheating. That's why I don't want to pick up women off of Craiglist or other single's sites/bars. That's why I mainly try the swing sites or clubs. I am very upfront about who and what I am, and do provide a link to our couples profile on SLS. The couples profile has several certs, and I made sure that my singles profile had a cert from an established couple that also certified us as single.

I do know how most people view single guys. And, I aim NOT to be one of the ones that give the rest a bad name.

As for the person that wondered if my wife didn't visit while I was away. She does, and I get home too. But, if she comes to visit, the kids are with her and that time is for the two of us with the kids. Kids that aren't old enough to be left alone in hotel while we head out to a club. Don't know if that makes sense or not, but swinging is not our highest priority when they are here.

If anyone wants to, please take a look at both profiles. The couples one is "wpafuncpl" and the single male one is "mrwpafuncpl", both on SLS. If you can offer any advice on how to improve either, let me know. I think that the couples profile is fine. We seem to get a good response to it. More interested in constructive criticism of the single male one. I do try to change it to match my assignments, etc.

[LikeMinds321]

Welcome Mrwpa!

I took a quick look at your personal profile and it looked very nice to me. I don't think I saw mention of couples/women being able to speak to your wife over the phone to confirm your permission to play solo. Also, you say here that she plays solo too and maybe that would be good to mention in your single profile so that people know you both have the same interest and agreement to play alone on ocassion (such as when you are separated due to your months away on a job assignment). Sometimes subtle changes in rewrite can give people a better feel for who you are and that you are telling the truth.

I really like the two pictures I saw on your profile.

I didn't note how long you have had your "single" profile up (nor your couple profile) but has trying to find people for your solo play been a problem for a long time? Have you ever had anyone contact you through your SLS single profile?

My husband and I are open to playing solo, without the other present, although our situation is different than yours because we have no children and neither of us travels for work. But I can understand how difficult it would be for someone in your shoes.

LM

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by wpafuncpl

I don't want to be a part of anyone's cheating. That's why I don't want to pick up women off of Craiglist or other single's sites/bars. That's why I mainly try the swing sites or clubs. I am very upfront about who and what I am, and do provide a link to our couples profile on SLS. The couples profile has several certs, and I made sure that my singles profile had a cert from an established couple that also certified us as single.

Hold your horses there please. I'm not insinuating that you pick up some other married chick that's cheating. But you know...legitimately single people go to bars to hang out, be with friend, and hook up with people. Who says you have to be deceptive about what you are doing? Who knows, you may luck into another couple at a vanilla bar (people do tend to lower their inhibitions after a few drinks, whether it's a swing club or a vanilla one).

You asked for other opinions...mine happens to be that you are basically fighting an uphill battle by restricting yourself to SLS/other swingers.

[fun4Ds]

I agree with the posters above. Your wanting to hook up with swingers while away. That will entertain contact with those back home. Can people contact them over the phone ?

I understand your wanting to be together while your wife and kids are visiting. But surly a phone call could be arranged with potential playmates. It seems you want no strings attached sex with like minded people. The problem is, you have attachments. Those have to be validated. It would take more than just a convincing profile. I am sure my wife would call any swing club I may visit and talk with the host or preferably the hostess. Is that possible ?

If your wife approves. I couldn't imagine not giving potential playmates Mrs.funs number. Even so, in this situation I could probably ask for permission to call a few of our current playmates.

[arvcpl]

Since your actual question was is there anything else you can do to make yourself look more legitimate and the only I can say to that is perhaps add a line or two in your couples profile that says you travel a lot and would like to meet other people in the lifestyle while traveling and that your wife approves and that she would be willing to vouch for you.

Other than that I'd say you are doing the right things and your goals and rationales are reasonable. The bottom line reason why she has more opportunities is because she is a woman and you are a guy, it's as simple as that.

From your profile you appear to be an attractive guy and you are going about things the right way and for the right reasons. Over time you will have various degrees of success. But as all single guys in the lifestyle have an uphill battle so will you when your wife isn't with you.

The only other thing I'd suggest is if you are in an area for a length of time is she could come to visit you and you could hit a club and make some friends and some may be willing to keep in touch and network with you when she is gone.

[iapr]

I agree with what arvcpl said. I think about the only other thing you can do is state your travel arraingments in both profiles so that they can each be cross-referenced against each other.

In reality though I don't know if it all will really add up to a hill of beans for you in the long run. Many people that play with single guys will play with single guys whether they have permission or not and the people that don't play with single guys (which make up a huge percentage of the lifestyle) couldn't care less if you have a hall pass or not and it really won't matter how much your wife rolls out the red carpet for you to play without her. Single guys in the lifestyle are mostly extra dicks for MFMs and gangbangs anyway and since you are a traveler you may not have many opportunities for that even.

honestly, I think your best bet for both companionship as well as sex is in the vanilla world. I understand you not wanting to play with cheating women but there are a ton more legitimate single vanilla gals out there than there are single gals in the LS (and most are more attractive and have less issues) and you are an attractive guy and you most likely have some good flirting and schoozing skills so if you put yourself in a more target rich environment your chances of success are going to be better.

The single vanilla gals that hang out in hotel lounges are not there looking for people to escort them to church functions so I don't know why they wouldn't be fair game. If one does ask if you are married you could try saying you are active swingers and offer up a cell phone for authorization but my guess is for every gal that would work for, there would be another 10 that think it's creepy. I know it sounds backwards and offensive to honest swingers but more vanilla gals would probably screw you if they thought you were screwing around as opposed to playing with permission.
It could just be your little secret between your wife and you.