single women

[jlff]

Hi I am a single women and want to go to a club but feel nevous about it are there any single women on this board who can give me there experience on going to the club by them self for the first time
thanks

[arvcpl]

I am not a single fem and can't answer your exact question but I have been to a variety of clubs. Most clubs will bend over backwards to accomidate single fems and make them feel comfortable. My suggestion would be to contact whatever clubs you are interested and ask them any quesitons you may have about the club and they will do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable and at home.

[JustAskJulie]

I went out twice as a single female (after having been involved in the lifestyle as a couple for many years). The first time was to a local social and I ended up feeling somewhat like a piece of meat....oddly more by the women than the men. "Oh your bi and single, let me grope you!". The most respectful person that I dealt with that whole night was a single guy (go figure).

I also went to a swinger hotel take-over as a single female. I felt more comfortable there, actually, because I had a couple that was also there that I was friends with and who kind of watched out for me. The one downside there was it's kinda lonely in a room by yourself, even if you are surrounded by people the rest of the time.

I would suggest that you find a couple you are comfortable with and tag along with them the first few time or two you visit a new club. This will give you a safety net of sorts. Granted they won't be there to watch out for you the entire night (they are there to have fun and meet people too) but at least it will give you a bit of a buffer and someone to come "rescue you" if needed from uncomfortable situations.

[jlff]

thanks for the help it would be alot easier going to the club with someone else but this is all new to me and i dont know one yet, but i guess taking the first steps are always the hardest.
thanks

[fun4Ds]

Welcome to the Swingers Board jlff

Yes its true the first steps are the hardest sometimes. We didn't start out going to the clubs and felt pretty unsure about it, untill we finally made it.

What are some of the hopes you have ?

What are some of the fears you might have ?

[jlff]

i am 37 and looking to meet people who are looking to having the same kind of fun as me
I guess the scary part is going to the club by my self its always easier with someone
and the unexpeced is also scary!how are the clubs?can you give me some info on how they work? are they like going to a bar? thanks!!

[mosmis84]

jlff,

I am a single female who only goes to clubs alone, no one in my social circle would, well I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting.

Also, I have not been to a regular bar in 20 years or so except for the rare trip to hear specific music.

So, I don't know how much comparison I can help you do. But, yes, I would imagine it is much like a regular bar. In the club that I visit, there are two floors. The first on could be easily mistaken for a regular bar, albeit a cheesy, poorly decorated bar. Dancing, drinking, small talk etc. Upstairs, there are the party areas and a table area which is quieter than the downstairs so it is easier to talk.

I would suggest you let the employees know it is your first time and they will probably introduce you to some people who can show you around. I guess the biggest difference between a swinger club and a regular club is the sex on-premise and the assumption of availability is different. Plus, I like the group sex possibilities of the swinger clubs.

My social skills usually stink, but I manage to meet people and have a good time. I am sure you will be fine. If you have specific questions, I will be happy to answer. Too bad we don't live closer, I would love to go to a club with someone instead of by myself sometime.

[jlff]

well i am working up the courage to go, I wish you did live closer that would of been great having someone to go with, I to could never ask someone i know to go,let alonethat i am thinking of going, I am not good at meating new people and i kind of want what happens at the clubs stays at the club, I am not looking to bring it ouside the club. if you dont mind can you tell m your one of your best experience at the clubs
well if your ever in this area i would more than happy to go wth you to a club around here
thanks again

[SexyNSingle]

I am single also, but I have a couple that I go with. It does make attending parties etc. easier. Perhaps in time I would go alone, but it wouldn't be my first thought.

[Mr.Essex]

OP, you're golden! You'll have your pick of couples and single men, you probably won't have to bring your own liquor, and you'll be surrounded by people who understand that "No" means "No".

[quivers4me]

I'm a single female also and have some of the same concerns about going to a parties (no clubs in our area) as a single female. The first event I went to I went alone. It was a small weekend event and I had met a couple of people attending prior to going. Everyone was great in welcoming me and made me feel very comfortable about being there. I was very new to the LS and scared. I was very lucky to meet a single man there who I formed a good connection with. We live near each other and have met many times for play. We attend parties together and this works for us. We are upfront with those we meet about our relationship, that we are both singles looking for friends & playmates, and that while we do play as a couple we are both very open to playing without the other.

I don't know that I will ever be as comfortable going to a party alone, maybe down the road, but I really enjoy having that safety net so to speak.

OP-maybe try to find a single man who you can get comfortable with and attend some events with him. You may have to sort through a bunch to find that person but it could make you entry into the LS a little easier. Another thing I have found at some parties is a single attending with a couple. I've seen this also and it really seems to work well for some.

[Farcanal]

From a single male POV. Contact your party hosts. They are usually very good at making you feel at ease and will keep an eye on things.

That can make your first time much easier.

Hope this helps!

[screaminggood]

From the fem half of a couple: For those of you whom attend with a couple. Please make it clear to us if you're interested that you're available. Whenever I meet the woman who's at a club with a couple, I'm never sure if she's available or on a date with her couple.

[SexyNSingle]

Even if I am attending with a couple, I do indicate that I am "available", meaning if the chemistry works with someone or another couple, I am open to discussion

[sexyvegascarla]

I am a single woman and have gone to alot of clubs, most of the time you feel so welcomed that your nervousness is short lived