Regular SINGLE Playmates...

[2inSanDiego4u]

We'd like to hear from couples who have regular single playmates, male or female. How has it been having an LTR or semi-LTR playmate? What problems have arisen? Would you do it again? Is this something you would recommend or not? Thanks in advance!

[willyoats]

We had a single guy for MFM for several years. We both liked him. He was a social friend as well as a good bed partner. He would come to visit periodically. Usually when he was there we would screw once or twice in the afternoon or evening before going to bed. He would sleep in the guest room but would wake up and crawl into bed with us about 6 a.m. Some times I would wake up when he came into the room. A couple of times I woke up with the bed gently swaying as he was doing my wife, spoon fashion, from behind. That was, for me at least, a wonderful experience.

Once he slept with us all night. That didn't work out so well because even in a king sized bed it was too crowded.

Once he came about noon. We did it in the early afternoon, the late afternoon and again in the middle of the evening. We went to bed and woke up to another bang. After that he and I went downstairs and made breakfast, which we served to my wife in bed, much to her delight. Then we did it again in the late morning shortly before he had to leave.

That means my wife got screwed 10 times in 24 hours. What a memorable time that was!!!

After he got a regular girlfriend, they would stay with me when my wife was away. He would sit and play his guitar for us while his GF and I were going at it. A couple of times we did DP with her.

Eventually, they got married and she didn't want him screwing any other women any more. The marriage was rocky for a while. During the worst of those times, he still came to visit us alone occasionally. It was obvious that he was seriously upset about the situation because he had trouble keeping it up, which had NEVER happened before. They finally straightened things out and had a baby. Then we lost track of them altogether.

Nearly 10 years later, we still remember him fondly and miss his company. You'd say our experience was a really good one with a regular single. For everybody else who wants that, I hope you find it. It can be pretty terrific if you have the right attitude and find the right guy.

[2inSanDiego4u]

willyoats, thank you for taking the time to respond! Your experience sounds very interesting. How often did he used to come over? You mentioned "periodically", would that be like once a month? Have you actively tried to find a new long term MFM partner since you lost this man?

[TNT]

Ted and I have a male fuck buddy/friend that we've been playing with on a regular basis for over seven years now.

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

How has it been having an LTR or semi-LTR playmate?

I guess I've never really looked at it as a LTR but...I suppose in a way it is.

We consider ourselves lucky to have met him. He's never made any inappropriate actions/comments in all the years we've known him. He understands we have a life outside of swinging and that it comes first. The first night that the three of us played together is still one of the most memorable nights we've ever had. Over the years, it's just gotten better. We're all extremely sexually compatible with each other in that we all like the same things. None of us are afraid to bring up something new to try. There's just a comfort level with him that we don't have with anyone else we play with...of course, after all these years, I suppose that makes sense

What problems have arisen?

None really. The only problem we really have is that he travels a lot and so does Ted so...there never seems to be enough time for us all to get together.

Would you do it again?

If we happen to meet someone that we click with as well...you bet.

Is this something you would recommend or not?

If you're comfortable playing with someone on a regular basis...sure, why not?


Teresa

[2inSanDiego4u]

Teresa - thank you for the reply! Do you ever see this guy alone, or only as a threesome? One of our concerns is we don't want a situation like this to develop into a separate play situation.

If anyone wants to be discreet about this, feel free to PM us regarding this topic.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

Teresa - thank you for the reply! Do you ever see this guy alone, or only as a threesome? One of our concerns is we don't want a situation like this to develop into a separate play situation.

You're welcome.

No, so far it's only been in a threesome, foursome or fivesome. There are times when we get together he will invite others and times we'll invite others. Playing alone with him has been discussed many times, between Ted and I, him and I, him and Ted and the three of us together...it's not something that is totally out of the realms of possibility and will probably happen at sometime in the future...in fact, Ted and him would love it...I'm the hold up on that one. I have my reasons and they both understand them and respect them...even if at times they think they're silly reasons

As far as concerns that a long-term threesome play relationship would inevitably turn into separate play...I don't think it has to. It's all determined by what you want and what you're comfortable with.


Teresa

[2inSanDiego4u]

Originally Posted by TNT

You're welcome.

No, so far it's only been in a threesome, foursome or fivesome. There are times when we get together he will invite others and times we'll invite others. Playing alone with him has been discussed many times, between Ted and I, him and I, him and Ted and the three of us together...it's not something that is totally out of the realms of possibility and will probably happen at sometime in the future...in fact, Ted and him would love it...I'm the hold up on that one. I have my reasons and they both understand them and respect them...even if at times they think they're silly reasons

As far as concerns that a long-term threesome play relationship would inevitably turn into separate play...I don't think it has to. It's all determined by what you want and what you're comfortable with.


Teresa

Thanks again Teresa. We started this as committed to only playing together, same room. Do you think that it is natural to want to play alone after being in the LS for a while? We're pretty new - only about 4 months into it. At the moment neither of us wants to play alone. We find it very interesting that Ted is encouraging you to play alone with your friend, and that you are the one with reservations. Without divulging too much personal information, could you elaborate on your thoughts on this a little more?

[TNT]

Originally Posted by 2insandiego4u

Thanks again Teresa. We started this as committed to only playing together, same room. Do you think that it is natural to want to play alone after being in the LS for a while?

For some yes...others no.

Swinging is what you make of it and what you want it to be. There are no hard and fast rules as to what should or shouldn't happen or how things should or shouldn't progress...it's all determined by each individual couple/person.

We're pretty new - only about 4 months into it. At the moment neither of us wants to play alone. We find it very interesting that Ted is encouraging you to play alone with your friend, and that you are the one with reservations. Without divulging too much personal information, could you elaborate on your thoughts on this a little more?

I'll try There is more than one reason but...the following is one of the main reasons.

First let me say that Ted and I do play separately...meaning, if at a party we don't have to be right with each other or even know who the other is playing with. Playing alone to us means we're not at the same place at the same time.

It's not that I don't or wouldn't feel comfortable playing with our long-term play partner alone...I trust him enough to know my safety with him is not an issue or that he would in any way press for something more than just a purely sexual play relationship. I know Ted would enjoy it and so would our play partner....which again leads us back to...why I'm the hold up.

I have played alone before. It was that experience that sealed the deal for Ted that it was something that he REALLY enjoyed me doing. We had discussed it prior to it happening as it being a fantasy of Ted's and that it was something he wanted to try. When the opportunity presented its self with a friend of ours I took it. What I discovered was I spent most of the time thinking about Ted, wishing he were there and that it would have been so much more fun if he had of been.

It's funny as I had another man ask me just last week if Ted and I played alone. I answered him no, we don't to which he looked at me and said..."You don't have fun without him, do you?" My answer to him was...no, not really....that answer holds true here as well. It was fun when I did it before (to a degree) but...for me, I really have more fun when Ted's there or at least close enough that when the play is done I can run to him and whisper in his ear what I've been up to.

I do believe that couples can play alone and still maintain a "togetherness" with the playing, as long as they are both enjoying it equally as much as the other. I'm not at the point where I enjoy me playing alone as much as Ted enjoys me playing alone...does that make sense? If it's something that you're doing as a couple, then both of you should be having fun with it.


Teresa

[absingleman]

I was a regular play partner for a couple many years ago. Believe it or not, the main cause of friction was that I was the husband's friend and actually spent more time hanging out with him than having sex with the both of them. I actually stopped spending as much time with them because I felt he was using me as a way to go do guy stuff with someone his wife also saw as a friend.

I only had one 1-on-1 session with the wife and that was at his request. He had to go out of state for a couple of weeks and asked me to "look out for her." The other times she had invited some of her girlfriends over for the night. THey were great friends. If they hadn't moved halfway across the country, I think I would still be more active in the lifestyle.

[TravlParty]

How has it been having an LTR or semi-LTR playmate? What problems have arisen? Would you do it again? Is this something you would recommend or not?

We have two regular males and two females, who we'd consider semi-LTR. We enjoy our time with them, but because of distance cannot get together often.

The only problem is that they're too far away!

Definitely, we're very happy to have met them.

[lovers]

The wife has a "boyfriend" that she's been playing with for the last two years. She's comfortable enough with him to go bareback and he understands his "role" which is why he's still around.