Any tips for a single female??

[ShySmilesLawton]

Hello from Oklahoma I am new to this but very ready anybody out there have any tips for me??
Thanks Shy

[ShySmilesLawton]

Hi I am new to this as a single female I am worried about the creeps that might be out there anyone have safety tips for me?
Shy

[Alura]

I'll leave the safety issues to the women on this board, Shy. They're far more able to answer than I might be.

Have you made any decisions about where and how you hope to meet playmates? That knowledge may help the ladies give you tips.

Mr. Alura

[Malachista]

- Don't take strangers home (go to a club or a hotel)
- Get a phone with a number that is not listed in a general directory with your name and adress
- Don't tell anyone where you work, your adress or even your last name
- Try to find a club where other single females write about that they feel safe and respected from others (single males, couples AND the hosts)
- If you have a bad feeling about someone, don't keep contact with them

The first time I played on-premise, I decided to do it in a group room, not a private one.
You may have watchers and wankers around, but most of those will help protect you, if you decide that the play has to stop, but your choosen partner is not listening

[Dynamar]

The most important bit of advice I can give is always, always, always listen to your intuition. If something doesn't feel right or doesn't add up, do not proceed. Just say 'no, thank you' and never offer any other explanation.

Making it one of your rules to never play on the first meet is probably a good idea. Meet in a public place... restaurant, coffee shop, etc. When you're meeting someone for the first time... give a trusted friend a heads up and have them call you on your cell phone say 30-60 minutes into your meeting to make sure everything is all right.

The list Malachista has put together is very good. In other words, use the common sense you would use in any online dating situation.

I don't go to clubs, and I have met lots of great folks, so it can be done outside of the clubs. The main thing to remember is that your intuition is your best friend... listen to her!

[funcpl4life]

Listen to Dynamar, I do!

I might also suggest throw-away cell phone numbers and email addresses. If a creep has your swing-only gmail account and your disposable trac-phone number, just get new ones.
Mr FC4L

[Dynamar]

Awww... thanks for the compliment funcpl4life.

I hope none of the stuff you read here gets you overly paranoid, ShySmilesLawton. We just want you to be cautious.

Honestly, after more than three years in the lifestyle I have probably been contacted by thousands of single men, emailed with several hundred, chatted online with a few hundred and met dozens in person. I have never felt the need to get a new phone number or email address. Block 'em on the swinger sites or Yahoo messenger, sure ... LOL, but nothing worse than that.

Once they're blocked, the creeps generally look elsewhere. You're not worth their time anymore. Just be fast and firm when you need to cut off communication with someone.

I do wish you all the best.

[funcpl4life]

I've thrown away a cell number and an email address from an internet stalker, but it had nothing to do with swinging. It was just a creep with a law degree and a predatory instinct. Swingers are generally very nice.

Mr FC4L

[ShySmilesLawton]

Wow fast around here thanks to all you left me tip's. I will be be a bit wiser about my search for play!
Shy

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Dynamar

The most important bit of advice I can give is always, always, always listen to your intuition. If something doesn't feel right or doesn't add up, do not proceed. Just say 'no, thank you' and never offer any other explanation.

Exactly!

[realcplub2]

Ok.. lets take this from the top...

Should you decide that you are ready to set up something.. Think of the same safety rules/things you would do, if you were going on a blind date..

Have a regular friend that knows you are going on a blind date, they don't need to know more than that, and make sure you have a cell with you.. one that they can call you on at a set point.. like an hour after you are scheduled to meet someone.. If you need an out.. the call can be it.. if things are going ok, simply tell you friend you are fine to call in the AM..or later..

We also concur with the list Malachista put together... with one addition.. If you chose a hotel room, Make it one that YOU chose.. not one he or they have already choosen..
there is no way of knowing if its a set up, or they have already placed a camera or two to capture the whole thing..

[arvcpl]

Since I am on a non-polically correct roll at the moment I may as well keep going. In the interest of fairness I'll give you the same speel I just did to a single male that just asked if the lifestyle was the right place for him.

It depends on your own personal objectives. If you are interested in being an extra female for couples to live out their FMF fantasys with, you are in the the right fricking place!! Their will be a million of them lining up outside your door promising you the world. Many will be sincere in their promises and will wine you and dine you to your hearts content.

Here's the catch though. You will be a prop to them. Now they may have some sincere affection and appreciation for you but you will be a prop for them to add some extra excitement into their sexlife just like a vibrator or porno movie or something. You will be an extra..an augmentation..a play thing. Not only will you be a play thing but you will be a play thing for both of them. Many of them will have some kind of bisexual fantasy that they want the female to play out and many of those women will have conflicting feelings on how far they want to take their bisexual curiosity, so in otherwords you will also be an expiriment and an exploration piece for them.
If the sounds of that turn you on (which it very well might) then knock yourself out. You will have an entire new world to explore and experience.

The couples will fall into two different catagories. Catagory #1 will thank you when you are done and will say, "let's get together and do this again real soon!" and then you never hear from them again. And catagory #2 will want to own you and keep you as their own private concubine.

If you objectives are to screw single men 1-on-1 without a serious LTR then you will have a million opportunities there too. Again their will be a million lined up outside your door promising the world and again they will nice a wonderfull....untill they cum. Then they will be out the door and never heard from again. Many of them will head straight for the shower to get your scent off of them before they get back home to their wife and kids.
You can certainly find casual sex in the swinger community but as a female you can find that at Wal-Mart and Kum and Go and McDonald's just as easily.

Your first step is to explore yourself and your feelings and determine what it is exactly that you wish to accomplish then set out in a sober and sane manner to achieve that letting common sense and responsibility be your guide.

[sexychoclit]

Originally Posted by arvcpl

Since I am on a non-polically correct roll at the moment I may as well keep going. In the interest of fairness I'll give you the same speel I just did to a single male that just asked if the lifestyle was the right place for him.

It depends on your own personal objectives. If you are interested in being an extra female for couples to live out their FMF fantasys with, you are in the the right fricking place!! Their will be a million of them lining up outside your door promising you the world. Many will be sincere in their promises and will wine you and dine you to your hearts content.

Here's the catch though. You will be a prop to them. Now they may have some sincere affection and appreciation for you but you will be a prop for them to add some extra excitement into their sexlife just like a vibrator or porno movie or something. You will be an extra..an augmentation..a play thing. Not only will you be a play thing but you will be a play thing for both of them. Many of them will have some kind of bisexual fantasy that they want the female to play out and many of those women will have conflicting feelings on how far they want to take their bisexual curiosity, so in otherwords you will also be an expiriment and an exploration piece for them.
If the sounds of that turn you on (which it very well might) then knock yourself out. You will have an entire new world to explore and experience.

The couples will fall into two different catagories. Catagory #1 will thank you when you are done and will say, "let's get together and do this again real soon!" and then you never hear from them again. And catagory #2 will want to own you and keep you as their own private concubine.

If you objectives are to screw single men 1-on-1 without a serious LTR then you will have a million opportunities there too. Again their will be a million lined up outside your door promising the world and again they will nice a wonderfull....untill they cum. Then they will be out the door and never heard from again. Many of them will head straight for the shower to get your scent off of them before they get back home to their wife and kids.
You can certainly find casual sex in the swinger community but as a female you can find that at Wal-Mart and Kum and Go and McDonald's just as easily.

Your first step is to explore yourself and your feelings and determine what it is exactly that you wish to accomplish then set out in a sober and sane manner to achieve that letting common sense and responsibility be your guide.

I have been doing this for almost four years now, and a lightbulb just went on in my head when I read your post. It is definitely and eye-opener and one that single females and males should read and understand.

[arvcpl]

Originally Posted by sexychoclit

I have been doing this for almost four years now, and a lightbulb just went on in my head when I read your post. It is definitely and eye-opener and one that single females and males should read and understand.

You mean you are not going to flame me and tell me what an obnoxious creeep I am? Well heck what's the point of telling it like it is if you aren't going to ruffle some feathers?

Seriously though, thanks for sharing that. Light bulbs going off can be a good thing and I think that is some important information to share for singles considering entering the LS. However it is certainly not my intent to make anyone throw in the towell or to disregard the LS just because it isn't all roses and sunshine.

Truth is there are probably a lot of people both male and female that would love to experience being a extra set of hands/mouth/genitalia in a couples bedroom even if only once or for a few times. There is a lot that can be said for having an exciting and pleasurable no-strings encounter and then just walking away scot-free knowing that you made someone happy and had a nice time in the process. I wouldn't mind doing that myself at some point myself.

I don't think however that many single people would choose swinging as a lifestyle choice for any length of time. I think most people would prefer to have their own special someone and that they will have a more full and satisfying life if they did than if they were a "dildo that talks" or a "bisexual exploration piece" for another couple that is going to drop them once they have lived out their fantasy.