If so many couples swing with single males, why aren't they allowed in clubs?

[silver100]

There is something that I do not understand, based on the poll an overwhelming majority of couples swing with single males , so can someone in the "know" tell me why single males are not allowed in most swinging events???

[good times]

Originally Posted by silver100

There is something that I do not understand, based on the poll an overwhelming majority of couples swing with single males , so can someone in the "know" tell me why single males are not allowed in most swinging events???

I think their are two reasons for that.

First off, the poll is a bit misleading, depending on how you read it. What it says to me is, with 185 votes in, 45.4% of couples have never played with single males, 90.81% of the people who have taken the poll prefer to play with couples. On the other hand, 54.6% play with single males, but 45.41% of those play with couples and only occasionally play with a single male. Not really an overwhelming majority of people taking this poll play with single males.

The second problem with polls like this is that a lot of folks who are not interested in single males, would not be interested in this thread either. So in polls like these, the results tend to be biased towards those actually interested in the subject.

The bottom line is, at the clubs we go to that allow single males, if they allow five in per night, that is usually about 4.5 more than is needed. The majority of single males that come to the clubs, usually just get to hang out and then go home. The reason for that is because the majority of folks at the club don't play with singles at all, or are so selective about which ones interest them that they hardly ever do. The clubs that do not allow single males at all are filling a nitch in the market that their customers want.

[SW_PA_Couple]

Originally Posted by silver100

There is something that I do not understand, based on the poll an overwhelming majority of couples swing with single males , so can someone in the "know" tell me why single males are not allowed in most swinging events???

Will try to answer this one, though I always feel uncomfortable when I try to answer on behalf of an entire category of people. For each single man who understands and respects the basic premise and principle of the lifestyle, there are nine who are clueless and will ruin everybody's fun at a swinging event. How, exactly, do you check at the door whether or not a man carries the right attitude? You can't. So you come up with some kind of system of "filtering" or "pre-sorting".

To answer the question posed by the title of the thread, JoAnn and I have recently softened our outlook. We have met some single men who are understanding, respectful and who (more importantly) are fun. No longer excluding single men. But any single male who tries to start an SLS video chat at 5 am Sunday morning and whose opening line is, "Nice weather we're having," will summarily and without benefit of judge, jury or presumption of innocence, be blocked and banned in-perpetuity.

[Pensacolapair]

Originally Posted by silver100

There is something that I do not understand, based on the poll an overwhelming majority of couples swing with single males , so can someone in the "know" tell me why single males are not allowed in most swinging events???

For our money, Good Times' two reasons hit the nail on the head!

The only thing we would emphasize also has to do with numbers...sheer numbers - to say that there is no shortage of single males looking to play is an incredible understatement!!

Over the years, we have seen Lifestyle clubs (in 3 different states) that allowed unlimited or liberal access to single guys come and go...and go they always did - with the exception of one that morphed into a gay club (and did quite well as a result) The normal life-cycle of said clubs was the same: intially, great places for those couples into quality single guys, then as they became better known (inevitably quick) and became sausage-fests(again, inevitably quick), the MFM crowd saw the quality drop and bailed, and they became the place to go if gangbangs were your cup of tea. Shortly after that, you'd hear of them closing.

[JustAskJulie]

I split this question off as I felt it deserved it's own thread.

My thoughts are along the lines of Good Times, the poll is misleading. When I look at it I see that it is split about 50/50. 50% of those taking the poll play with both couples AND single males (that doesn't mean they prefer single males), and about 50% of the couples either have not or will not play with single males. On the other hand less than 10% said they prefer to play with (or only play with single males). So when you figure all that out... no the overwhelming majority of couples do not play with single males. If that were the case there would never be a lonely single male at a swing club.

[NumbskullsX2]

They're allowed in, but the rules are the same as for guide dogs in a public restaurant. I.E. they must be on a leash, and no begging is allowed.

[gnb4u]

I have not seen the polls you are refering to but in my experience the overwhelming majority do not want anything to do with single males at all.

As for clubs and lifestyle venues not allowing SMs that is an issue of "Pay Me Now and I'LL Pay the Price Later." If a club allows unregulated and uncontrolled access to single males they more bring in more $ initially but in a short time as the word gets out eventually there will be more and more SMs showing up thinking that it is full of sluts and easy chicks and soon the couples and single gals will stop coming and the club will have to either turn into an actual titty bar/strip club or shut it's doors.

The clubs that have been in business the longest and have the best reputations among couples and single fems either do not allow SMs at all or have some form of reasonable control on who gets in and where they can go and what they can do and what kind of numbers of SMs that can be in the club at any given time are.

If there gets to be too many SMs (based on the number of couples and SFs at any given time) or if a SM starts to cause problems then couples and SFs stop coming.

[JustAskJulie]

The poll being referenced is in this thread: Do You Swing With Single Males?
which the current thread was split from.

[VegasLee]

They two oldest and most feel busiest clubs in the U.S. today have allowed single males for over 25 years. One for over 30 years now.

Strange part is over the years we have seen more couples and LESS single men at those clubs as time goes on.

There are many couples that don't want to be around single men and that is fine but there are many that also want to party with single men. Those couples that tend to go to couples only clubs all the time never see that side of it though so they fell most all couples only want other couples.

Understandably most will report what they are exposed to and see on a regular basis. Having been around clubs for over 25 years and traveled all over the country to clubs I have got to see both sides of it.

Best thing is go where it works for you. Either way is not wrong, just different.

[absingleman]

I have a slightly different take on this subject. I don't like the idea of clubs anymore. Since moving back to the midwest twelve years ago, I have NEVER had a good time at a club when I went on my own. I have had several fun encounters with couples I met online after telling them where I hang out after work, and one couple got me into a group where I've actually declined to attend their monthly parties more than I've accepted invitation THEY sent me. But I became FRIENDS with them first. The sex came much later.

Don't worry about clubs if you are a single man. Either date until you find a woman that wants to swing with you and go as a couple, or concentrate on meeting couples and getting into parties and meet and greets. It costs less money and you have a better chance of meeting friends, not just having sex with someone that is probably going to forget your name by the next morning. Its much easier to swing if you have friends in the lifestyle, even if you never swing with those friends. Swing friends don't let single male friends get blue balls :LOL:

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2

They're allowed in, but the rules are the same as for guide dogs in a public restaurant. I.E. they must be on a leash, and no begging is allowed.

If there's BDSM at the club I go to, I haven't seen it.



Thrax

[tribbles]

There are a number of clubs that allow single guys but not in unlimited numbers. Even the guys end up hating that cuz who wants to be one of the 100 guys hoping to be with the 10 couples that showed up?

[screaminggood]

Single men may also not realize that some clubs have different rules for different single men. If they go in on a "single men allowed" night, and PERFORM well in all aspects, and if they become favorites of the women that regularly attend, the clubs allow those guys in on "couples only" nights...Yep, they get a special invite that the rest of you don't even know exist!

So you're numbers are limited, but if you "pass the test" you could end up with the carte blanche for the club. If you don't, you never knew what you missed, except for the obvious.

[NumbskullsX2]

Originally Posted by screaminggood

Single men may also not realize that some clubs have different rules for different single men. If they go in on a "single men allowed" night, and PERFORM well in all aspects, and if they become favorites of the women that regularly attend, the clubs allow those guys in on "couples only" nights...Yep, they get a special invite that the rest of you don't even know exist!

So you're numbers are limited, but if you "pass the test" you could end up with the carte blanche for the club. If you don't, you never knew what you missed, except for the obvious.

I'm sure some club owners read this site, so I want to make sure there is no "ambiguity" in what I am about to say -

The first time we attend a club expecting it to be "couples only" and find out that "certain" single males are being "back doored" into the place we are GONE!

For always and forever. No excuses, no kiss-and-make-ups, no "but this guy was special's"

SEE YA!!!

(this wouldn't apply to an occasional visit by the male half of a couple who normally attended together)

The only thing that might bring us back to that club would be a change of ownership or management, and then only if we were comped a free night to see for ourselves that the policy had changed.

Normally, I don't post negative reviews about anybody's business establishment on the internet, but in this case, I would make an exception. In fact, I will make a bunch of exceptions, by revealing our reasons for leaving on any and all adult websites that would permit us to do so.

I know for a fact that we're not the only couple who feels this way.

So club owners......we're not telling you who you should and shouldn't allow into your club. But if you SAY you're "couples only" you'd better BE couples only, or you'll soon be "single males" only.